BIG TIME RUSH - naked truths and best dressed lies -story 5
by treehatsrock
Summary: vengeance in vegas. part 5 in the series of stories of sheriden, paisley, mackenzie and savannah and their love affairs with the boys from big time rush. sheriden faces a life she never thought possible, while paisley battles for more than kendall, savannah faces her fears and mackenzie and logan see their world collapse before their eyes. contains sexual reference
1. Chapter 1

**this is the 5th and final story in the series as always it touches on some scenarios that some people may find upsetting, reading the other 4 stories is a must to understand what has gone on, take note of who is telling their version of the story on each new chapter. (p.s. please bear in mind im english and never been to america, so if i have cocked up with certain, times, places etc please forgive me, i do try and do my research as best i can before i type anything)  
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****follow me on twitter for updates- sheridenlloyd  
****Sheridens story**

my heart was beating ten to the dozen as I was placed in the back of the police car.

My head was whirring with thoughts that just couldn't process them selves.

"what's going to happen?" I asked the officer that was sat in the front passenger seat

"you will be taken in to custody then questioned" was all he replied. His tone sounded harsh like he had already made his mind up that I was guilty of the murder.

I looked out the window to see Carlos, paisley and Logan stood just on the inside of my front door entrance.

Carlos was on his phone pacing up and down. Logan just stared at me while paisley was crying.

The cop that was wearing a suit and dull looking tie then walked off to his un marked car. I guessed he was the LAPD detective.

I vaguely wondered if this was all some dumb set up, and I was about to get punked or something... Surely this was a bad dream.

The car I was in started up, I gave one last look towards my home and saw Logan mouth "it will be ok princess" to me. my tears started rolling as the car set in motion.

Once in the police station I was put in a small room where a short fat woman took my details.

"what is your full name?" She asked

"Sheriden Amy Lloy...Maslow. Its Sheriden Amy Maslow" I corrected myself.

"date of birth?" She said

"28th of June 1982" I replied

"Address" she asked, her voice dead pan

"surely you must know my fucking address, its where I've just been man handled and brought in here you stupid bitch" I said slamming my hand down on the desk in front of me.

"Mrs Maslow if you are going to carry on like that you will be placed in a cell" the fat bitch said.

I burst in to tears again but answered her dumb ass questions as I cried.

"Place of birth?" She carried on

"hackney, London England" I replied.

She looked up at me like I was an alien.

"do you know your green card number Or have it on you?" She said in her monotone voice.

I looked at her like she was dumb " I don't have a green card I'm a US citizen and have been for 2 years. I'm also married to a US citizen... fucks sake" I said under my breath.

"Mrs Maslow I have warned you, please refrain from cussing in front of me, I will not tolerate it" she hissed back at me.

I glared at her.

"we will need to see the citizenship papers and take a copy of them. Are they at your permanent address?" She asked.

"yes... When, is my lawyer going to be here so I can sort this out and get home" I said.

She smiled at me "thank you Mrs Maslow. That should be all I need for now. You can wait in here until the homicide detective is ready to interview you." She got up out of her seat and walked towards the door.  
"can I get you a drink or anything?" She asked

"just get my lawyer here" I replied through gritted teeth.

She smiled again at me and left.

I was left in that room sat in the un comfiest fucking chair ever for about half an hour. The door swung open and my lawyer Gregory Sands breezed in.

"Sheriden! How are you doing?" He enquired.

"how do you think I'm fucking doing Greg, they are accusing me of murder" I said.

"have they actually said that?" Greg asked.

"no they said in connection with it but it all boils down to the same fucking thing Greg... " I shouted.

"The detective will be in in a few moments to interview you Sheriden, I would recommend to say no comment until we know exactly what we are dealing with here" Greg said in his forced posh accent, he was originally from Mississippi but he hid his accent well to fit in with his well paid rich Californian clients.

"what do you mean say no comment? I didn't have fuck all to do with Marcus croft being done over that night Greg. I just want to tell the truth and go home!" I spat.

"Sheriden you won't be going home tonite, they must have some reason to think that you are involved with it. So let's just say no comment for now" he said with a patronising smile.

I started to cry again.

The detective with the disgusting tie walked in to the small room

"good evening Sheriden" he said with a big booming voice.

I just looked at him with big teary blue eyes. I must look a complete mess.

"I am the homicide detective, Edward O'brien for the LAPD. I'm going to ask you a few questions which will be recorded do you understand?" He bellowed in his big voice.

I nodded

"for the purposes of the tape you will be required to say yes or no, okay?" he said then turned the tape on.

"interrogation of Sheriden Maslow on,the 2nd September 2012 regarding the murder of Marcus Croft. The time is 10.17 pm" the officer said for the tape.

"Sheriden are you aware that Marcus croft was murdered on the 26th August this year?"

"yes of course I am" I replied through a fresh batch if tears.

Edward O'brien passed a box of tissues towards me.

"do you remember how you became aware of this fact?" He asked.

"I was staying in the same hotel the time it happened, the place was buzzing with police the next day. But I officially heard the death on the news on TV when I had gone back home" I replied.

"Sheriden what was your relationship with Mr croft?"

I looked at Greg, he shook his head to say don't answer but I ignored him.

"I am his boss. Marcus was one of my media models for my modelling agency... which I own" I replied.

The detective wrote notes down as I spoke, I found it off putting  
"so you instructed Marcus croft to be at the Fairview hotel that evening?"

"I wouldn't say instructed, but he was invited on my request yes..., that is the purpose of my job detective"i said sarcastically.

"you said that Marcus was a media model, can you tell me what that involves?"

"mostly advertising products in magazines and newspapers, clothing, perfumes.. That kind of thing" I replied.

"so why did you invite Marcus to the Fairview hotel which was holding an event exclusive for runway models only?" The detective asked.

"I had just signed him up for runway a few weeks before" I replied. "I had faxed the contract through to him, I have seen a signed copy of it... It will be at my agency" I replied.

"Sheriden we currently have CSI gaining evidence at yours and your husbands place of work and your permanent address in bel air so I'm sure we will find it if it exists"

My heart sank thinking of James watching as police rummage through our home trying to find things. I wish he was here with me now.

"how well did you know Marcus?"

"Not very, I have a lot of models on my books and I have a lot of agency staff that deal with the day to day runnings of the place so it isn't often me that deals with any of them personally... unless one strikes me that they stand out" I replied honestly thinking of savannah.

"did you think that Marcus croft stood out from the crowd?"

"not really no" I answered.

The door opened to the room and another police officer handed detective O'brien some papers. He glanced at them, I couldn't see what they said but some one had run a highlighter marker over some of the printed text.

"how long was Marcus with your company Sheriden, any idea?"

"maybe 3 years... I'm not sure exactly" I replied.

"Sheriden you said you faxed a contract to Marcus to do runway modelling. Do you remember when you did this?"

"about a month ago... Maybe longer" I replied.

"do you remember the date you did it?" He asked me.

"no" I replied.

"you don't have any recollection of when you faxed a contract for him?"

"no... Sorry"

"okay well let me enlighten you, the date was the 16th July 2012"

"okay" I replied.

"your recently married aren't you Sheriden? When did you get married?"

"16th July 2012" I said noticing Greg shaking his head again.

"it seems odd to me that someone would be working on something for someone they don't find that interesting on their wedding day Sheriden. Why were you filling out contracts for Marcus just a few hours before you walked down the isle?"

I stuttered "um... I.. I was nervous, naturally, getting married is a big deal, I was occupying my mind with my work to ease my nerves... I also booked a holiday to Peru at 3 o'clock in the morning... I was just nervous" I tried to blag it, but as kendall would say I felt they had me by the balls now.

"okay... Did you get along with Marcus, any arguments over anything?"

"no, I haven't spoken to him directly since he was first placed on my books" I replied.

"do you feel you were avoiding him, surely you must of taken some interest in him?"

"I wasnt avoiding him, I am an extremely busy person. I didn't even see him at the hotel the night he died"

"witnesses of that night say that you didn't make an appearance to the function that was being held. What were you doing that you missed it Sheriden?"

"I was in my own room, I didn't leave it at all" I replied honestly

"was your husband with you Sheriden?"

"no James stayed at home, he had work commitments to deal with" I replied.

"so you travelled the fairly short distance from bel air to hollywood to spend the night in the Fairview hotel to just spend the entire evening sat in your room?"

"that wasn't what I was intending to do, I wasnt even going to stay the night because it was so close to home, I only had the room in order to have a base in which to change and relax in. I ended up ill. I phoned James and told him I was feeling ill and said I was going to sleep it off and be back in the morning" I replied feeling flustered now.

"did you use your mobile phone for that call, or the hotel one?"

"my mobile" I clarified.

"how much roughly did Marcus get paid for his bookings as a media model Sheriden?"

"I have no idea... That would be between him and the person or company that booked him in for the job" I replied

"for the purposes of the tape I am about to show Sheriden evidence number 673 G" the detective said then slid a piece of paper over to me.

"Sheriden that is a copy of transactions from you to Marcus' personal bank account, it clearly states that since march 2009 you have been putting an increasing amount of money in there each month, the grand total that you have sent is..." He looked at his notes in front of him "... one hundred and fifteen thousand dollars. Why were you paying Marcus all this money?"

"I don't know... I... He threatened me, that's how he got the modelling contract in the first place" I blurted out now giving them a ridiculous motive for me wanting him dead.

"how did he threaten you?"

I was now stuck between a rock and a hard place but there was no way I was mentioning that bastard CCTV tape. "...he... He had some personal pictures of me that I didn't want made public, he came to see me at my office in 2009 to say I had to put him on my books or he would go to the papers with the pictures" I lied.

"so you had had a disagreement with Mr croft?"

"it wasnt really a disagreement, I just did it. I get a lot of people like that approach me nearly on a weekly basis. look through my bank statements and you will see that odd amounts of money get sent to all sorts of people all the fucking time... It doesn't mean I wanted him dead! sending money to people is not a crime detective" I shouted.

"no Sheriden its not, but you must agree that from where I am sat it looks odd, you paid Mr croft a lot of money each month, on your wedding day you faxed a contract to your office for him to sign so he could attend the event at the Fairview hotel as a fully fledged runway model even though you state he didn't strike you as that interesting. You then attended the event but did not show up, stating you stayed in your room the entire time. did you speak to or see anyone apart from your husband, that can vouch as a witness for you? At 11pm on the night Marcus croft died" He said.

I thought hard, deciding which was the best route to go down to spare the feelings and lives of people. I lied to protect them but in the same time set my self up for being accused of the murder. "no" I replied.

"okay Sheriden I believe you are withholding important information that could help in the murder of Marcus croft, I am there for arresting you with involvement in to his death, you will not be granted bail because of this and will be retained in custody until a court hearing will proceed" he said

"what... You can't do this... I didn't fucking do it... I did fuck all to him" I shouted as police officers entered and took me from the room kicking and screaming.

I was placed in a van and driven to the custodial wing of Central California Womens Facilty in Chowchilla, almost four hours away from the people I loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**Paisleys story**  
James was going absolutely mental in the kitchen. I had just got in from watching Sheriden get carted away for the murder of someone i didnt even know.

I had been living in my own little bubble for so long that I didn't have a clue what was going on any more.

James had officially lost the plot, this was meant to be his birthday celebration. Now look what's happened.

James was currently taking his anger out on his kitchen, not much had escaped his tirade, he was kicking and shoving at anything he was coming in to contact with.

It seemed he knew as much as I did about all this Marcus croft business.  
He was blaming Sheriden though, shouting out abusive things blaming her of once again ruining the fantastic life they had. Not being able to leave things alone.

His family, his mother in particular could only watch on as her son screamed and shouted as he destroyed part of his own home saying undignified things about his new wife.

"take her for me and I will sort him out" kendall said trying to hand me my daughter. she was crying, I could never stop her from crying.

"please I can't kendall... I'm sorry" I said softly feeling guilty that I really couldn't even sooth my own daughter in her time of distress.

"for fucks sake pais this isn't the time for your bullshit just take her" he shouted at me and I started crying again.

"I will take her" Mackenzie said scowling at kendall.

Kendall then tried to calm James down, there were a lot of men in the room, including james' family but kendall was the only one that seemed willing to step in and stop his rampage.  
Kendall tried his best, leading up to almost a scuffle between them but it was savannah that finally stepped up and slapped James hard around the face. This seemed to work, it had stopped him but he ended up slumping himself down on the floor with his head in his hands and cried.

I went over to him and sat down offered him my arm around him, he welcomed it

"everyone just leave... Please" he mumbled

"James darling... " his mother began

"mom just go, I will call you... Please just go" he said looking up at her.

against her better judgement she turned and walked away out of the room.

"not you Henderson" James said dryly as Logan walked towards the door, which Mackenzie had just left by with Ophelia.

Kendall stayed with Logan. Leaving just us four and savannah who was loitering out in the hallway with Carlos who was on the phone trying to sort out sheridens lawyer.

"what's going on Logan... Because I have absolutely no fucking idea" James shouted up at him from his seat on the floor.

"I don't know... Honestly I don't know anything James" he said quickly.

"don't lie to me, that is my wife that was just arrested and taken from me... What did she say to you when she handed you the baby?" James spat

"she said she didn't do it" Logan replied.

"why would she whisper that to you? What did she say? Tell me the God damn truth Logan!" James yelled

Logan looked at kendall who had a face on him like his world had ended.

"she said that she didn't do it, and to find the tape" Logan replied.

"what tape?" James asked, I was astonished that Logan was involved in all of this.

"kendall and I assaulted Marcus croft years ago and he blackmailed us with a CCTV tape, that's how he got his modelling contract through Sheriden, he said if he didn't get a contract then he would show the tape to the police and kendall and I would get done for GBH" Logan finished.

My mouth fell open that kendall was now involved in all of this too. James got up and shut the door much to savannahs disappointment who was listening in on what had been said.

"so you both knew about this?" James asked

Both kendall and Logan nodded.

"it was years ago James, Sheriden was with kendall then, that's how far back it goes, the tape has only just become a problem lately because of savannah, but there was no way Sheriden would of known about that" Logan said.

"she did know about savannah" kendall said "she knew everything" he added.

"what about savannah? what has she got to do with any of this... What the fuck is going on!" James demanded.

All eyes fell on kendall for the answers.

"Marcus was one of the men that raped savannah, Carlos found this out in Vegas and they planned to go to the police once home, he told Logan who told Mackenzie about the cctv tape, Mackenzie panicked and went to Sheriden for help" kendall said

"what? I told kenz I would sort it, I told her to not bother Sheriden with it" Logan argued.

"well it really looked like you have been trying to sort it out doesn't it Logan, you did fuck all trying to sort it, now look what's happened!" kendall shouted.

"well what have you done to stop this?" Logan argued back.

"I only found out about all this a week ago," kendall said

"both of you just shut the fuck up!" I shouted "get Mackenzie in here and ask her what she knows" I said in total shock learning all these things... Savannah being raped... How did I not know about this?

Logan walked out of the room and came back in with Mackenzie who was still holding my daughter in her arms

"what did Sheriden say about the Marcus croft tape?" James said accusingly.

Mackenzie looked at Logan  
"she didn't say anything" Mackenzie replied.

"kenz I know you told Sheriden who raped your sister, did Sheriden kill him?" Logan said bluntly to which I heard James say "for fucks sake" under his breath.

Mackenzie started crying "she said she was going to deal with it, make it go away, she booked savannah and Carlos their holiday so they couldn't report the rape and said she would deal with croft... I guess she must of had something to do with it, but she told me she didn't" Mackenzie cried.

"Jesus she killed him?" James said sitting back down next to me on the floor.

"she didn't have anything to do with his death... nothing" kendall said

"what do you mean kendall? its a bit fucking convenient that she said she will sort it out then the guy ends up dead in the same fucking hotel that she was in... Oh Jesus... She phoned me as well to say she wasn't going to make it home" James cried, big sobs coming out of him as he realised that he hardly knew the capabilities of the woman he was married to.

"James she thought about it, and yeah maybe she was going to do it, but I swear that she did not kill him or have any idea as to who did" kendall said adamantly.

"well its simple then isn't it you two admit that you assaulted him and say about the tape and Sheriden goes free" James said

"no!... Please" Mackenzie sobbed holding on to Logan, "Sheriden did this to protect us, if she did do it then she wouldn't go free anyway" she cried.

"just everyone keep you mouths shut about the rape. The tape doesn't matter... She is innocent, I know she is. There is no point giving the police a motive for her wanting him dead. She didn't do it, just let it run its course and she will be home in no time" kendall said.

"how are you so sure she didn't do it?" James asked.

"because she told me everything about the Marcus croft thing, she was going to, but someone just beat her to it. There its no evidence that they can find linking Sheriden with his murder because Sheriden had nothing to do with it... James believe me... She didn't, this is Sheriden we are talking about, yeah she gets big ideas and thinks she rules the world but she did not do this" kendall said

I just stared at him, all the time I had been visiting him and spending time with him and Ophelia he had never even mentioned Sheriden apart from the fact she had helped out with baby sitting.

How had he not felt the need to tell me anything about something so serious that he knew about.

Carlos opened the door to the kitchen  
"James there are people at the door for you... I got hold of Greg, he is on his way to help sort this out" he added.

James stood up and went out in to the grand entrance of his huge house. A few minutes later he returned to the kitchen with someone from the CSI squad

"is there no where more private we could go Mr Maslow?" The cop asked.

"just say what you have to say" James said sounding exhausted.

"very well... We have a search warrant for this property, the premises in which your wife works at and for your studio. We will leave things as tidy as possible afterwards but prepare for some disturbances" the cop said smiling

"their is nothing to find, she hasn't done anything wrong.. Search what you like!" James said now believing kendall.

"we may be here for some time due to the size of the property, if you would prefer to stay at a friends house I can let you know when we are done" the officer said.

"James you can come back to mine" Logan said

James shook his head "no I will get a hotel, I just want to be on my own" he said.

"Mr Maslow did the detective run through with you what was happening before he left earlier"

"I wasnt really listening" James confessed looking at the state he had made of the kitchen.

"okay I will run through a few things quickly, and make sure one of my officers gives you the relevant paper work..."

James nodded and listened

"as of tonight all bank accounts that your wife has, shared with you or single accounts have been frozen, all the financial documents from both the modelling agency and your studio are also frozen, no money can go in or out to any account linked to your wife. We will need to find her US citizenship papers if you could get those for us." The cop said.

"Everything is joint now, the entire lot. How long is it going to be frozen for? I have to pay bills, pay people ... All sorts" James said clutching his head.

"until we are happy they have all the information they need Mr maslow" the cop said.

James looked at him " i'll get Sheri's citizenship papers for you" he said roboticaly then left the room, the cop followed him.

"kendall why didn't you tell me about any of this?" I asked.

Kendall was just taking Ophelia from Mackenzie, he looked at me as he lifted her.  
"you had enough on your plate pais" he replied.

James walked back in, everyone stared at him

"I'm going to a hotel. there is no way I'm staying here to watch this. pais can I borrow your credit card please" James said bluntly.

"course you can" I replied.

As everyone who was left at James' house left it was an odd atmosphere, it felt like Sheriden had died.

There was no way of contacting her, no way of seeing her. Carlos seemed to be the only person on the outside trying to help her. He was still on his phone trying to sort things out, and find out information.

James wasnt even allowed to drive any of his or sheridens cars, I half expected the police to say that I couldn't drive my car because Sheriden had paid for it, but nothing was said.

I kissed kendall and Ophelia goodbye, kendall seemed offish with me. I guess this was a hard time for him knowing that Sheriden was trying to protect him and Logan, then to end up in such huge trouble herself.

James was silent in the car, I booked him a room, I did ask for one near my own but he was five doors down in the end.

I walked him to his room "James I don't want to leave you on your own... This is so fucked... How does Sheriden do it all the time?" I said looking at his sad face.

"I have no idea... Did you really know nothing about any of this?" He asked as we walked in the room, I took it that was my queue as an invite seeing as he didn't respond to me saying about being on his own.

"I knew nothing. Kendall hasn't spoken much about anything, just what Ophelia does really... James what's going to happen to Sheriden?" I asked.

James sat down on the small seat near the window of his room "I have no idea paisley... I just want her home, she must be going out of her mind worrying... What if she is guilty? What am I going to do?" He asked.

"do you think she did do it?" I asked

James looked at me "I honestly don't know... It just all seems so suspect. Kendall seems sure she didn't, I'm pretty sure he must know more than what he is telling"

"I wonder if any of us will get taken in for questioning?" I mused.

"I hope savannah doesn't" was all that James replied.

"its all such a big mess, and I can't do anything at all to help her. I feel so useless pais" James said with a sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sheridens story**

"you have visitors Sheriden" the prison guard informed me as she unlocked the door to my cell.

I swung my legs down from my tiny rock hard bed that I had spent the last day crying on.

"what's the time?" I asked the female guard.

"just gone 4pm... Dinner time soon!" She said optimistically like dinner time was the equivalent of Christmas day in here and it was something to be looked forward to.

I had already had a visitor today, my first full day of trapped in this hell hole. Gregory sands, who I told the complete true story to, of what had happened the day that Marcus croft died.  
Greg said that if I went along with my half made up story I had already told the police it is just going to make things worse. But I disagreed, I felt that the police couldn't find any hard evidence against me because I knew there wasnt any, so there was no need to destroy other peoples lives by dragging up every little detail.

As I walked through the long corridors with barred doors closing behind me I hoped to God it would be my beautiful James waiting for me in the visiting room.

I was taken to the same room that I had spoken to Greg in, basically it was just a cell with a table and chairs in it.

Walking in I noticed that it wasnt James that had come to see me, it was Carlos and savannah, it was so nice to see a friendly face. I burst in to tears and fell in to Carlos' arms, as the prison guard shut us in the room and waited outside

"Sheriden... what the fuck is going on?" Carlos said as he hugged me.

"I honestly didn't do it Los... You believe me don't you" I blubbed.

"Sheriden, savannah has told me what she saw at the hotel that night... I take it that you haven't told the police what really happened seeing as kendall hasn't been brought in for questioning yet" he said.

I looked at savannah  
"savannah you promised to keep your fucking mouth shut... You promised me" I hissed

"that was before croft ended up dead Sheriden... I was going to go to the police about the rape, he would of gone to prison for years for what he did to me, he deserved to suffer, now everyone feels sorry for him, and his family are saying how amazing he was, and how such a shame it was as he just hit the big time down the cat walk!...it makes me feel sick, and now I'm never going to find out who the other guy was that raped me, I doubt Marcus croft would go around telling people what he got up to at the weekends"

"I didn't kill him savannah" I said.

"I know you didn't kill him, I'm not the only person that knows that though am I Sheriden. I'm still going to report the rape... I've talked about it with Carlos over and over... I'm telling them everything" savannah said.

"savannah please don't, there are things you don't know" I tried to explain.

"what like a tape that may or may not exist... yeah I know about that, I over heard Logan telling James last night, and I don't give a fuck." She spat.

"savannah if you tell the police I will get accused of his murder... Your just handing them the motive that they are looking for... They have nothing at the moment" I tried to explain.

"no Sheriden... I've got nothing, I've got no life to speak of, I'm scared to go out, I'm scared to be alone, I've been married for over a month and I haven't had the courage to have sex with my husband yet... I can't live like this. I wanted justice Sheriden, that was taken away from me the night croft was killed... So now I just want people to know the truth" she said tears streaming down her face.

"but they will think I did it... You know I didn't savannah. I've helped you so much, you can't let me rot in here, my lawyer said I could get 30 years if found guilty... 30 fucking years sav!"

"they won't find you guilty because I'm going to tell them what happened at the hotel. I'm a witness Sheriden, I witnessed you not killing Marcus croft" savannah said all high and mighty.

"you can't savannah... Think of kendall, your going to ruin his life" I said now looking at Carlos for some assistance but he shook his head to say he agreed with savannah.

"Los please tell her" I begged

"I'm sorry Sheriden... The only victim in all of this is sav... She needs to do this" Carlos said.

"the only victim? ... Sorry but who is it who is stuck in a fucking prison cell? The hearing is 3 weeks away Carlos... Three fucking weeks I've got to stay here for" I said relaying the information of my custodial court hearing that Greg had explained to me.

"Sheriden I may be young and very Nieve but I am not fucking stupid. I know that you played your part in his death, just because it wasn't you that did it" savannah said.

"savannah I can honestly say that yeah I was going to do it myself but kendall talked me out of doing it, I had no clue of what was going to happen to croft that night" I said.

She just looked at me, I wasnt sure if she believed me, but it was the truth.

"is James okay... I was expecting him to visit me... Tell him I love him" I said.

Carlos rolled his eyes "he went bananas after you got taken away last night. He smashed your kitchen to bits. I think he thinks your guilty. He spoke to Logan for a while. And he went away with paisley to a hotel while the police turned your house upside down... All your bank accounts have been frozen. He has nothing at the moment Sheriden... You have fucked up big style... If you get sent down he will end up with nothing, he will be ruined" Carlos revealed.

"he will still have the house, its still in his name from when I left last year" I said knowing that if we did lose our businesses and our jobs because of this then he would still have the house to be able to sell and free up the millions that its worth.

"please tell him to visit me.. Please Los" I cried

the prison guard opened up the steel door of the room.

"That's your ten minutes I'm afraid Sheriden" she said.

I looked at Carlos as I was encouraged out of the door by the guard "tell James I love him Los" I called.

"I will ... I will" Carlos said watching in horror as I made my way back through the cold looking stone corridors of the prison.


	4. Chapter 4

**Mackenzies story**

It had been three days since Sheriden got arrested. No one was really able to do anything, all the boys had been advised to stay out of the public eye as the paparazzi had gone in to over drive over sheridens latest and biggest scandal of all her time.

I sat with Logan still dressed in my pyjamas, it was raining hard outside, the sky was grey, the weather matched our moods I think. It had gone midday but there was no point in getting dressed, because of the media circus I couldn't work in my salon for fear of getting bombarded with questions about her from journalists that forced their way in.

Logan hadn't been contacted by anyone in the band. He felt bad for James and even worse that he had more or less started the ball rolling on this entire chain of events.

I didn't know what to think, I had no clue now if Sheriden had or hadn't done it.

The door suddenly banged with frantic knocks.

Logan shot out of his seat to answer it.

"logues it might be the press" I warned.

Logan nodded and walked out to the hall, the instant he opened the door I could hear Ophelia crying. I walked out in to the hall, paisley stood just in the entrance of the front door, she was completely soaked through, so was Ophelia, Logan took the baby from her, paisley was also crying. She was only wearing a summer dress, and Ophelia was in a sleeper suit, she had no coat on her or anything.

Logan tried his best to sooth Ophelia but the poor little mite was absolutely drenched and her mother making all that noise crying probably wasnt helping.

"my God paisley, are you okay, what's going on?" I said, but paisley was crying so hard only sharp loud noises were coming out of her. We walked back in to the living room where Logan and I had just been sat. The fire was on, I took the baby from Logan and sat down next to the warmth of the fire place on the floor and removed the drenched clothing that poor Ophelia was in.

"Logan can you get some towels please?" I asked.

I looked at paisley who was sat on the sofa but trembling like a leaf, it didn't look like she had the baby bag with her.

Logan returned and handed me a nice big fluffy towel that I dried Ophelia off with and then wrapped her up in it,

She was getting big now, she was so beautiful. She had paisleys hair and her skin tone but kendalls eyes. the most beautiful pair of clear eyes I had ever seen, they started off blue when she was first born but they were gradually changing green.

She had stopped crying now but gave off a little grizzle every now and again.

"paisley is the bag in the car?" I asked

Logan had handed paisley a towel and a drink of water. She had calmed her sobbing down slightly.

"I didn't bring the car... I got confused, I didn't know what to do, she isn't allowed in my car because of the airbags. I walked round... I didn't know what else to do" she cried.

"pais why? What's happened, did you and kendall have a fight?" I asked

Paisley sipped at some of the water and started crying again.

"turn on the news" she blubbed

Logan and I looked at each other but he turned the TV over to the news.

Pure shock just took me as I let the images of what I was seeing sink in to me.  
I read the headlines that ran along the bottom of the screen of the TV

BREAKING NEWS - LAPD are questioning Kendall Schmidt over Marcus Croft murder...

The footage that came with the headline was of kendall being placed in to a police car. He wasnt handcuffed though like Sheriden was.

"paisley what happened" Logan asked.

"logues!" I said nodding at the direction of the TV screen again to see a picture of my sisters face in one shot of a split screen and Marcus Crofts face on the other side with the headline now reading 'Marcus Croft rape accusation'.

Logans mouth fell open.

"paisley what's going on?" Logan said.

"I went round to kendalls to spend time with him and Ophelia, it was all going well, he was quiet still, but after everything that's happened I just put it down to Sheriden being in prison... Ophelia was in a lovely little mood, she was sat on my lap playing with a little stuffy I had bought for her... She loves her stuffys" she said, tears falling silently from her face.

"paisley what happened to kendall honey? What did the police say?"

"Well the door knocked and that policeman from the other night came in and started asking kendall questions about the night that marcus croft died. The policeman said that savannah had told them that she had seen Kendall at the hotel, kendall admitted that he was there, he wasn't arrested I don't think. But why was kendall there? Do you think that kendall killed him? Surely he wouldn't of done it, he must of had Ophelia with him... Maybe Sheriden was looking after Ophelia while kendall killed him"

Paisley trailed off with huge sobs again

"oh my God... What the hell is going on?" I said to Logan.

"I don't know what to do with her, I can't look after her. What if kendall doesn't come back? She will end up being taken in to care or something... I wish I could but I honestly can't look after her" paisley sobbed even harder if it was possible.

"Reno come on... We won't let that happen, you can both stay here, I'm sure kendall will have nothing to do with it, I will look after Ophelia okay... Come on pais...it will be okay" Logan said softly to her.

Logan missed paisley, they used to mess around all the time, she used to be so carefree, now she hated everything about her life.

"paisley have you spoken to savannah?" I asked.

"no I haven't spoken to anyone, I just grabbed Ophelia and left at the back of the house.. Is she going to be okay? I'm sorry she got so wet in the rain" paisley said.

"Reno don't say sorry. you haven't done anything wrong, she will be fine... She could probably do with a nice cuddle from her mommy though. Did you want me to help you" Logan said.

Paisley looked at Ophelia and nodded.

Logan got up from his seat next to her and took Ophelia from me on the floor.

He sat down first and tried to judge Ophelias mood before he handed her over, he must of been confident that she wasnt going to start crying again as he carefully slid her in to paisleys arms.

"see she is fine, all snug and warm now... She is beautiful pais isn't she?" Logan said.

"she is so beautiful" paisley smiled."Thankyou logues... Your a lot more patient with me than kendall is"

"that's okay... You just have to remember that if she does start crying its just her way of letting you know something isn't right, so just check them off the list... Do you know the list?" Logan said cheerfully, talking to paisley like she was a child. Paisley seemed to appreciate it though

"what list?" Paisley asked looking confused.

"well next time she cries try doing all these things... This is your list. We can even write it down... Hunger, diaper, too hot, too cold, tired, and bored. If she still cries after you have checked all those then maybe she just wants to have a cry... babies do that pais... You will get there don't worry babe okay!" Logan said.

"thanks Logan... You're a Good friend you know" she replied.

"well before you say that ... Its been a bit of a funny few days have you been taking your meds... Dont take offence but You're looking a bit wired" Logan said.

"I forgot them yesterday, im meant to take them at 6 today... So I probably am a bit wired... I don't have them with me... I should be okay though" she explained.

"no its okay, are they at kendalls or the hotel? I will just swing by and get them for you" Logan said.

"at kendalls in my purse... Could you get that for me too, its got my phone in it" paisley said.

"course I can... You feeling bit better about all this now yeah?... Kendall will be fine, and I bet he will be home in no time ready to dish the gossip" Logan smiled at her.

"yeah I am... You make everything sounds so easy Logan" she replied.

"it is easy as Long as you know to check the list" he smiled back.

Paisley looked the most at ease I had seen her in a Long while "Logan I will go and get some stuff... You stay here with pais" I offered, not wanting to ruin the progress he was making with her.

"yeah okay, you sure you don't mind?" Logan said handing me his keys which had a spare to kendalls house on it.

"no course not... Oh pais mind she doesn't pee on you she hasn't got a diaper on under there" I said smiling.

paisley laughed, as I left them to it I heard paisley telling Logan storys of funny things kendall had done with Ophelia.

I grabbed my rain coat and darted out to the car.

It only took a minute to get there. Kendalls house had a few journalists hanging around. I pulled my hood up over my face as much as I could then grabbed my sun shades that lived in the car.

I just ignored them as I made my way up to the door and let myself in.

I saw the baby bag, I had a quick look through it to make sure it had everything Ophelia would need. I went out to the kitchen and grabbed some bottles that had been made up in the fridge for her.

I almost forgot paisleys purse, I did check that she had her pills in there and I had a sneaky look at her phone to see if kendall had called or text but he hadn't.  
The phone suddenly letout a shrill ring making me jump out of my skin and almost drop it.  
The caller id said it was James maslow.

normally I wouldn't of answered it but to save paisley some tears I decided it was best to.

"hello?" I answered

"hey... Who's that?" James replied knowing from the start that I wasnt paisley.

"its Kenzie, James... How are you?" I asked.

"not great... Is paisley there?" He asked.

"she is at mine with Logan and Ophelia, I'm at kendalls picking some bits up for her and the baby... Have you seen the news James?" I knew that he must of seen it.

"yeah... did paisley say what is going on cause I don't know what to think now... " James sighed

"James I need to get back, come round and we can talk it all out, paisley is in a bit of a mess, so don't go shouting at her or anything" I said calmly.

"Mackenzie, paisley is the only person apart from myself that had no clue any of this was happening... I wouldn't shout at her, I will see you at Logans... See you in a minute" he said, then hung up.

James didn't sound great, he sounded pissed off. Like he was full of resentment and ready to blow a gasket.

I drove back to Logans after working my way through journalists and flashing cameras in my face that had made a camp at kendalls house. Again I didn't say anything to anyone. I absolutely hated all this fame shit.  
I rolled my eyes at the irony that I would fall in love with the man that had the most trouble hungry friends. unfortunately for now they came as a package but once Logans band had run its course... Which I predicted, if they survived this latest issue would be in the next twelve months. It will just be me and him on or next adventure in life.

Logan said that even though he doubted nickelodeon wouldn't do a fifth season of the show as the boys now all looked far too old to be in a kids TV programme, he hoped the band had a few more tours in it.

I didn't, I just wanted it all to be over.

I pulled in to Logans drive pretty much as James got out of a cab. I guess the police were still doing forensics on his and sheridens cars.

"hey" James said, giving me an upward nod as a greeting.

"hey" I mimicked him back in a sympathetic tone, I knew James blamed me for all of this.

I unlocked the door and let us both in. James followed me in to the living room where paisley still sat holding a sleeping baby and Logan sat holding a coffee in his hand.

"James? You alright man?" Logan said as he got up and gave James a brotherly hug

"yeah... Just wanted to see what pais knows about kendall getting taken in, I tried phoning the number that I was given by the police the other night but they won't tell me anything... Did kendall kill Marcus croft?" James said calmly, like this was an everyday question.

"all I know is that kendall admitted to being at that hotel the night Marcus died and the police took him away... I'm sorry James, kendall has hardly spoken about any of this" paisley said. Now acting as if she was in control of everything.

I handed Logan paisleys purse, he looked at me oddly first but then realised what I was doing. He got, the pills out.

"is it just one you have pais?" Logan asked her.

Paisley laughed "no I have two of those ones and there should be a packet in there somewhere too, I have one of those.

Logan handed her the pills, then he handed her his own cup of coffee for her to take a sip from to wash it all down.

"savannah reported the rape. I'm guessing they will ask me some questions about that, seeing as sav first came to my house after" James said taking a seat in the other oatmeal coloured fabric sofa.

"can you phone Carlos James? They don't talk to me" I explained.

"I tried... him, savannah and kendall... All three went to voice mail" he declared.

"what do we do James?" Paisley asked.

"sit and wait I guess... And pray that Sheriden and kendall didn't do a stupid fucking thing like kill someone... Jesus... Would they really do that? Just over a tape? How bad did you beat the guy up?" James asked Logan.

I had wondered this myself. Logan had told me that he was beat up but okay.

"pretty bad" Logan admitted. "he couldn't do any modelling jobs for three months put it that way" Logan said looking at the ground.

"why? What did he do?" James asked.

"croft was trying to hit on Sheriden, kendall and him had a scuffle in the toilet and we all got kicked out, croft started up again outside, he hit me, and kendall then had a go at him. Once I was up again both me and kendall ... Fucked him up I guess... There may of been a weapon used... Almost used" Logan said still looking at the floor.

"what? You never said that to me before Logan... What weapon?" I asked.  
"a door" Logan replied

"what do you mean a door... How is a door a weapon" I asked.

"I pulled him over to the door and shut it with his head in the way" Logan said.

"how was he still alive?" James said

"Carlos stopped me. Carlos didn't do anything. He just stood with Sheriden while kendall and I layed in to croft... I only got him once with the door... He lost most of his teeth though, that's why Sheriden paid him off every month"

"what do you mean sheriden paid him off each month?... Fuck sake! so you and kendall almost killed someone by ramming his head in a door because he was chatting up Sheriden" James said.

"no he was all in her face, touching her and shit. He knew who she was. He knew what he wanted from her. I don't know how he got the tape" Logan answered.

"this is too much... I don't know who you people are any more" James said holding his head in his hands.

"I'm not proud of it James but it happened... I'm sorry, for this entire mess. I truthfully don't know if Sheriden or kendall were scared enough to finally finish croft off... Let's face facts its not looking great now is it" Logan said.

James shook his head to say no it was not looking great.


	5. Chapter 5

**Savannahs story**

I had just woken up. Carlos and I had seen Sheriden in prison yesterday to tell her I was going to report my rape. She was furious but I was still going to do it. And today was the day.

"Carlos... Wake up babe" I said giving my husband a kiss.

Carlos woke up and smiled his perfect white smile at me.  
"morning savs'" he mumbled.

"hey sexy boy" I replied giving him a smile back.

We kissed for a while. I could now touch Carlos a lot more than I could of done in previous weeks. I trusted him completely, he had never tried to push himself on me. But we still had not had sex, I didn't feel it was an issue. Obviously we were now married but we were still in the getting to know you phase of our whirlwind romance. Carlos never made it feel like an issue either.  
The thought of having sex scared me, I felt it was going to hurt, or I would end up screaming and scaring Carlos.

I did tell him how I felt, we spoke about sex. We were very honest. We had talked about what our first time together should be like.  
I said I would prefer to be drunk but Carlos said he wouldn't do it if I was drunk, not the first time any way.

I layed my head on his shoulder. He was still so warm from being under the covers of the bed.

"you still want to do this?" Carlos asked giving me a squeeze with his arm.

"yeah I want to... Hopefully the police will find that other man... " I said

"I won't ever let any one hurt you savs' you know that don't you. I'm gonna be in your corner through out this entire thing" Carlos whispered sleepily in to my ear then gave me a kiss on the head.

I smiled at him. I didn't want to speak just incase some tears fell out, I had a feeling today was going going to be full of tears.

Once we were ready we made our way to the local police station.

Carlos held my hand a little tighter than necessary as we walked up to the front desk.

"I would like to talk to someone about reporting a rape" I said quietly to the young female officer that stood behind the desk.

She looked up at me, her face serious and pulled some paper work from an drawer.

"can I take your name please" she asked.

"yes its Savannah Pena" I replied.

"okay if you would like to follow me through to the interview room I will organise someone to come and see you" she said walking away from her position at the desk.

"um... I am actually a witness to something else too which involves Sheriden Lloyd" I said quietly.

The officer looked at me and Carlos  
"okay please hang on for a second" the officer said and reached for her telephone.

"detective O'brien, I have a Mrs savannah Pena with me at the moment, she is stating she is a witness in the croft incident" the officer declared, she then turned her back to us "she is also here to report a rape sir" she said in hushed tones down the telephone.

She finished her conversation and then guided us through to the small interview room.

Another police officer came in and took my full details. We then waited what seemed a decade before the same detective walked in that had arrested Sheriden the other night.

"hello savannah, I'm detective O'brien. before we begin with going through what happened I am going to have to ask you some questions okay?"

I nodded.

Another female officer then entered the room "sorry I'm late" she declared.

"savannah this is Siobhan Faraday, she is a highly trained counsellor in dealing with cases like this one, and can offer help, and assistance for you at any time during this interview okay?" Detective O'brien said.

Siobhan shuffled on her seat to get comfy. "savannah the first thing we need to know is when did the rape occur, quickness is key to gather evidence" she said.

"it was on the 30th June this year" I replied.

"okay where did it take place?" She asked.

"it was at the back of Time and Envy night club..." I replied.

I went through the whole ordeal again, with the two strangers that sat in front of me, I gave Marcus crofts name, and a detailed description of the other taller man.  
I explained how I called Carlos to come and get me, about going to Sheriden and james' house, about the doctor and about how we discovered it was Marcus croft that had done it.

The fact that we had at least two witnesses that something sinister had happened to me that evening was good because I think the police wouldn't of believed me otherwise. The two witnesses that would most probably be called on to clarify my story are the doctor, and the valet person that cleaned the blood stain from Carlos' car after I had Sat in it when he picked me up.

Everyone else I was now related to, my husband, and his 'sister' who was now currently in prison being accused of killing Marcus croft.

Once Siobhan was happy they had all the details from me that they would need detective O'brien took over now asking questions about the night Marcus died.

"savannah why were you there that evening" the detective asked.

"I was taking part in a fashion parade. The hotel were hosting a catwalk event, I was there to campaign Alexander McQueen." I replied.

"did you attend the event?"

"yes I did, there are pictures of me in every fashion magazine" I said. Feeling panicky as I felt the detective was accusing me of being involved.

"did you see Sheriden maslow at the event?" He asked.

"no she text me to say she was un well, and wished me good luck as it was my first event" I replied.

"okay so run me through exactly what happened after you left the event"

"okay well my turn on the catwalk finished just after ten. Bobby walked me back to my room... Bobby is sheridens body guard. I have him when no one else is available to be with me... I get scared on my own Coz of the rape... Any way Bobby was in the room next door. I couldn't sleep, I was pumped up. In a really fucking good mood, you know, I was proud of myself."

"It had gone half ten by this time. But I left my room and crossed the reception area and made my way to sheridens hotel room. I wanted to tell her how it had all gone, there was no way I would of been able to sleep."

"Any way I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I got worried, Sheriden said she wasnt well so I panicked and knocked harder"

"She opened the door just a tiny crack and said "savannah what is it?" When she saw my face, I asked what the problem was as she seemed anxious, she didn't look ill. That's when I heard the baby cry."

" I asked her what was going on, and why did she have Ophelia, I knew it was Ophelia because that kid never shuts up fucking crying, I know her cry better than her own mother" I said

"Savannah who is Ophelia?" Detective O'brien asked.

"its kendall schmidts baby... For a split second I thought Sheriden had kidnapped her or something, she looked really on edge. I demanded to come in and she eventually opened the door up and that's when I saw him" I declared.

"saw who savannah?" O'brien asked.

"kendall. He was just stood there in his Whitey tighteys, holding the baby." I said

"kendall Schmidt was in the room, undressed? With Mrs maslow and his own child?" The detective clarified.

"yeah... I didn't expect to see him, Sheriden is all about James. I would never of guessed that they had been at it" I said.

"at it? You believe that Sheriden maslow and kendall Schmidt were conducting an affair?" O'brien asked.

"well yeah. Sheriden was completely naked apart from a robe she had put on to answer the door and kendall just had his pants on. They did admit that it was a one off, and asked me to please not tell Jam-" the detective stopped me and got out of his seat, he opened the door and instructed the officer that was stood outside to bring kendall in for questioning.

"sorry savannah do carry on" the detective said as he sat back down.

"right... Okay. well yeah. they asked me to not tell James. Sheriden and I had an arguement about paisley, kendalls girlfriend. She slapped me in the end because I said some ... hurtful things. I started to cry, and then Sheriden back tracked and apologised to me... Sheriden likes me a lot, she was so supportive about the rape. But as far as I was aware she didn't know that it was Marcus croft that had done it, it was only Carlos and I that knew the night we got married" I lied, knowing full well that Logan had gone and told anyone who would listen that it was Marcus. But there was no point in dragging that up.

"okay, so what time did you leave sheridens hotel room at?" O'brien asked.

" it was just coming up to one in the morning, but it was probably later than one when I left, as Sheriden insisted on phoning Bobby to come and get me to walk me back to my room. Bobby took ages to get to sheridens"

"did Bobby see Sheriden and kendall?" O'brien asked.

"yes he did. I had the feeling that Bobby knew about it already... Sheriden and kendall fucking I mean... Sheriden must pay Bobby a lot of money to have him so close and not spill the beans on any of her doings" I said.

"savannah what is Bobbys surname?"

"I don't know, I only know him as Bobby..." I looked at Carlos.

"its Bobby Ischia" Carlos said.

"Thankyou, savannah are you willing to give your statement in a court of law?" O'brien asked.

"yes I am" I replied.

We then ran through some other smaller details of the nights events, and the detective kept asking other officers to run checks on cctv to see if, myself, Bobby and kendall could be seen in the reception camera to validate the times that I was with Sheriden and kendall.

I felt confident that I had done the right thing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sheridens story**

I lay in my cell bed. Going over in my head the meeting I had just had with savannah and Carlos.  
I cannot believe after everything I had done for her that she was just going to stab me in the back like this.

She was going to ruin everything.

I lay staring at the cold stone ceiling, it was disgusting in here. I know I was used to the high life but this place wasn't fit for animals. It smelt like piss. it was cold, the blankets were itchy, and there was absolutely nothing to occupy my mind with.

I wondered what savannah was going to tell them. I hope she didn't drag kendall in to it, if she did then the police would know my first statement was bullshit.

I drifted away to my memories of my night I had spent with kendall -

I was just getting everything ready for the fashion event, of course the entire thing was just a good stage for me to end the miserable little life of Marcus croft.  
I had purchased some very well sourced cocaine, and I had managed to lace it with poison.  
Marcus croft was a filthy disgusting rodent! He deserved to be poisoned like one.  
It would be quick, possibly painful. I didn't care

My phone rang it was kendall. Kendall and I had just recently started up this bizarre romance. It was bizarre because it was so fucked up, I did love James, but kendall just pulled on my heart strings all the time, I found it hard to resist, but funnily enough it was the resisting that turned me on more. Plus spending time with him and Ophelia in a makeshift dysfunctional family was amazing. I adored being so close in her life. Sex with kendall had started two days before, I went to pick Ophelia up so kendall could go to midnight studios with the boys to record, we started kissing and ended up fucking eachother in his kitchen while Ophelia slept soundly upstairs, it was just a quick session, he literally pulled my skirt up and bent me over the kitchen side. it was all such a turn on with the sneaking and the lying, I had never really cheated on anyone, and sex with James was always amazing but the naughty factor of doing something you know is plain wrong just makes it feel a hundred times sexier.

"hello Mr" I answered the phone to him .

"Sheriden please don't go through with this crap. I love you please... You will get caught" kendall said.

"kendall I've told you, there is nothing linking me to it... He deserves it, I don't even feel bad about it anymore, it has to be done." I said

"what room number are you in?" He asked me.

"113 kendall why?"

"because I'm here in the parking lot... I will be two minutes" he said then hung up.

Fuck sake, he promised me he would stay away.

A few moments later a knock came at the door. I let kendall in.

He had handfulls of stuff, including Ophelia in her car seat carrier.

"what's all this?" I said.

"sleepover" he replied placing the carrier on the floor by the sofa.

"kendall I'm not staying the night, your not staying the night. I'm doing what I'm doing then going home" I replied, sounding a bit pissed off.

"no your not, you can't now because I'm here. Making me your sexy accomplice, which you would never do, because you don't want me caught up in this shit" he said pulling me in nearer to him with his strong arms. "you can tell James that your sick, like we first agreed, and we can have a romantic night in together, just you me and bubba" he said simply.

I shook my head "kendall I told you not to come near the place... Why do you do these stupid things" I moaned, sexily biting his bottom lip.

"where is the coke?" He asked.

"In my bag" I said throwing my arms up in the air as he went and rummaged for it, then i watched in despair as he flushed the entire lot down the toilet.

"your agenda is now out the window, so phone James and we will get sorted" he said.

"well you have condemned yourself and Logan to get in a ton of shit when, not if, that tape comes out" I hissed.

"I would rather do that than you do this. This is whack even for you Sheri"

He was so much more confident now than when I dated him before. I liked it. He used to let me get away with anything... Now look at him... He just put his foot down to me trying to poison someone.  
I laughed at my self for this ridiculous situation.

"Fine I will phone James" I said as he patted my bum, he couldn't keep his hands off me, I loved the feeling of a new relationship. it was so fun, butterflies filled my stomach.

I picked my cell up and called James.

"hey Sheri... How's it going"

"not good actually, I've just been sick, I've gone all cold and clammy too. I'm not going to bother going to the event, I'm just going to sleep it off, probably stay here the night and come back in the morning... Do you mind?" I asked.

"course I don't, I wasnt feeling too great yesterday, maybe there is a bug going around..." James said.

"I hope not. Well I'm going to have a bath then get in to bed. I love you jimbo... Take care baby" I said.

"jimbo? Your such a loser Sheri" he chuckled down the phone "I love you too, call me if you get really bad and I will drive up to get you okay, phone is on loud" he said.

"okay baby, gonna miss you. Love you... bye"

"bye Sheri. Take care" James said then hung up.

I turned to kendall who was currently popping up Ophelias travel cot he had brought with him.

"I don't like lying to him... What did you say to paisley?" I asked

"I didn't say anything, she came round just after lunch, she stayed for an hour and half, and left... Its pointless this dumb ass idea of hers. When she does come round she just sits with phee while I try and catch up with the washing and stuff. We don't spend any time together, then directly phee starts crying she hands her back and goes home to the hotel... It pisses me off" kendall finished.

"she isn't well though kendall... One day she will get better and she won't be so willing to let you swan off with Ophelia... Since when have you started calling her phee?" I asked.

kendall looked up from the travel cot as he placed blankets in it, he gave me a gorgeous dimpled smile. "she woke up at some ridiculous time in the morning, she was wide awake but I just wanted to sleep, so I put the TV on and we watched our first lot of kids TV together and she absolutely loved fifi and the flowertots, she wouldn't take her eyes from the screen. So she has been phee-phee and the flowertots too" kendall laughed.

"your so fucking adorable kendall Schmidt" I said giving him a kiss on, the cheek.

"and your so fucking sexy Sheriden Lloyd" he said then realised I wasn't a Lloyd anymore "do you love James Sheri?"

"... I don't want to talk about James. I just want to enjoy this" I said wrapping his arms around me and kissing him. He was so handsome.

"do you think she will stay asleep if we have a sneaky bath together?" I asked him.

"she should do, what's the time?" Kendall asked.

"just gone six" I replied

"yeah she should be done for the night really, she only fell asleep in the car on the way over here, she usually sleeps from six till six because she is lazy like her mother" kendall said

I rolled my eyes "right from now on no talking about James, or paisley... Or anyone one else, its just us... I like just us" I said.

"go and run a bath 'just us'" kendall mocked me.

I did run a nice big bubble bath, when I returned to the main room kendall had turned the lighting down and Ophelia, or phee as she was now known, was fast asleep in the travel cot.

"why are you still dressed?" Kendall asked.

I smiled at him "I was hoping you would undress me"

"Hmmm that sounds like an invitation I can't resist" he mumbled as he got closer to me. I smiled knowing he was going to please me so bad tonight.

"let's start with this" he said undoing the clasp on my necklace. He kissed the side of my neck as he placed the necklace on the dressing table in the Room.

"then these" he said carefully removing the two diamond rings I wore and my wedding band. He placed them all carefully with the necklace and gave my hands each a kiss

"I love you Sheriden" he said kissing me gently on the lips.

I welcomed the kiss "I love you too" I replied

Kendall smiled at my words  
"then in that case I think this needs to come off" he said unzipping my black Chanel dress that I was going to wear to the fashion event.

Kendall let out a little chuckle to himself when he layed eyes on my underwear "my oh my... you are too good to be true Sheriden" he said as he eyed and caressed my body that was wrapped up like the best Christmas present he had ever seen in black see through lace panties and bra.

I laughed "do you like them then? They are new" I said giving him a kiss as he touched my breasts from the outside of my underwear.

"I forgot how sexy you can be" he smiled.

I took his tee shirt off and ran my fingers down his perfect chest. It made goose bumps appear on his arms.

"I forgot how delicious you are" I whispered as I ran my finger along the inside of his waist band of his pants.

I shimmied my underwear down and unclipped my bra then took kendalls hand and walked him in to the bath room with me, I threw my bra at him as I slid it off my body, he just let it fall to the floor, he was mesmerised by my body.  
I smiled at the effect I seemed to have on him.

I stepped slowly in to the bath keeping my eyes on kendall, he was taking his pants off, he stood there in all his glory, his immaculate little waist that I found so attractive.

He got in with me, he lay down at one end of the bath while I kneeled in between his legs facing him.

I kissed him on his chest and he felt my breasts. He loved boobs. Big boobs rendered him useless, he was putty in my hands now, I could seduce him anyway I wanted and he wouldn't be able to resist, not that I think he would anyway.

His hands made their way to my hips.

I pulled myself in closer towards him, my breasts leaning against his chest as I kissed him again.

"you blow my mind Sheriden" he whispered.

"just shhh and enjoy yourself baby" I replied as I reached for my sponge and gently rubbed it over his body, I started on his shoulders, then gently ran it over his head dampening his hair. He was so fucking gorgeous. How the hell I have been able to not fuck him since we broke up all those years ago is a mystery to me now.  
I was so turned on.

I moved the sponge down kendalls arms. we kept eye contact the entire time, I snuck in the odd slow kiss every now and again.

I put the sponge down and took kendalls hard penis in my hand, he let out a small moan of pleasure at the contact. I slowly rubbed it under the water as kendall moved closer towards me to kiss my breasts.

I held his head in place with one of my hands as I stroked him intimately with my other.

"baby I wanna make love to you" I said softly.

Kendall lifted his head, his face full of lust and sexual desire.

"not in here Sheri" he said moving, ready to get out of the bath.

He stepped out of the bath and dried himself quickly. Then took my hand as I stepped out. leaving the warm water made me shiver as my skin hit the air conditioned coolness of the hotel room.  
Kendall wrapped me up in a huge towel, then swept me up and carried me through quietly to the bed. He gave Ophelia a quick look to make sure she was still sleeping soundly which she was, he then lay me down on the bed.  
"promise you can keep the noise down" he whispered.

I looked over at Ophelia, I don't think much could wake her "I promise" I whispered back smiling.

He unwrapped me from my towel he placed a finger on my foot and ran it all the way up the inside of my leg.

"I love you Sheriden... I honestly do, so much, I always have baby" he whispered.

My heart thudded in my chest, and butterflies filled my stomach. I knew kendall meant every word he just said.  
"I can't believe I ever let you go kendall"

"well we are back where we both belong now" he said laying on top of me and placing himself inside me.

My heart swelled to twice its normal size with the emotion I felt. Kendall made love to me slowly, he savoured every moment. Pleasing us both. he adored my body. All thought of James I pushed to the back of my mind and enjoyed this perfect moment that I shared with one of the three men I had ever been totally in love with.

we fell asleep after our romantic sex session only to be woken up by the door banging.

I shot out of bed, as kendall sat up  
"fuck... Who is it?" He said quietly.

I looked through the peep hole in the door.

"shit! Its savannah" I whispered to kendall.

"what do we do? Answer it?" I asked panicking.

"she is going to wake phee up in a second... Just get rid of her" kendall said.

I opened it up after she banged even harder on the door.  
"savannah what is it?" I snapped.

"hi to you too. I just wanted to tell you that I rocked it tonight... How are feeling?" She babbled looking at me oddly.

"I'm..." I started but Ophelia let out a cry in the background.

"Sheriden why have you got the baby in there?" Savannah said, her face turning from joy to anger in an instant.

"it doesn't matter" I insisted not letting her see in the small gap that I just had my head through.

"what are you doing with that baby you crazy bitch" savannah said trying to force the door open with my head still in it.

"savannah this really doesn't concern you!" I hissed.

"shall I phone paisley and kendall then?" She said adamantly.

I rolled my eyes at her ridiculous assumption she had made"Hang on, let me get a robe on" I said defeated.

Once i had my dressing robe on I let go of the door and let it swing open inviting her in.

She eyed the situation that presented itself to her, kendall only in his boxers, holding a grizzly baby, the bed a mess and my dress still slumped on the floor, kendalls hair couldn't look less like he had just had a steamy sex session as it was damp when we went to bed, it was now a complete sexy mess on top of his head.  
I almost smiled at the state of it.

"fucks sake!" Savannah said loudly.

"sav just shut the fuck up, I do not want to hear any of your bullshit at this precise moment in time." I shouted.

"will both of you shut up, I'm trying to get her back to sleep" kendall said rocking his daughter back and fourth, slowly in his arms.

Savannah and I spent a long time quietly bitching at each other. She all of a sudden seemed to have morals.

"what! So just because you can't have your own kid you thought you would steal paisleys entire family... That is low even for you Sheriden ... you whore!" Savannah said to me then received a slap around the face.

She looked shocked then burst in to tears.

"don't you touch me!... Don't you ever fucking touch me again!" She cried.

I felt bad. I didn't mean to hit her.  
"shit!... Savannah I'm so sorry... Honey I'm sorry" I said giving her a hug.

I talked through everything with her, begged her to not tell James. She said she wouldn't. She also promised to not tell Carlos.

time had ticked on and it was late so I called Bobby to walk her back to her room knowing that the scumbag croft was still lurking about in the same hotel, savannah had no idea he was even there, I had made sure that their rooms were in different areas of the hotel.

Bobby knocked on the door, I let him in but being the professional that he was he didn't even bat an eyelid at the fact that kendall was sat 95 percent naked on the couch. He just Said hello and bid us goodnight as he left with savannah.

"can we trust her?" Kendall asked getting back in to bed, Ophelia had dropped back of to sleep in her cot.

"yeah, I don't think she is going to tell anyone... I will just convince her it was a one off mistake tomorrow" I whispered.

"is this a mistake Sheriden?" Kendall Said as he snuggled down pulling me with him on to the pillow.

"no, I don't think its a mistake... I love you and I love her" I said looking over to the cot.

"she adores you, you know that don't you" kendall whispered.

"I actually do" I smiled, I had spent so much time with her lately.

Kendall and I fell back to sleep. I didn't dream of anything as far as I could remember, I thought I had left the TV on first of all as a noise was waking me, but as I came to from my deep sleep I realised it was Ophelia that was making the noise.  
I looked over to kendall, he was completely zonked.I gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and got out of bed quietly and put my robe back on.

I walked over to ophelias cot and looked in, she was still half asleep, but grizzling. I made a bottle up for her, kendall must of fed her before he had come round at six so I expect she must be hungry.

I picked her up and sat back in the bed and fed her from the bottle.  
"you really are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen my little phee phee flower tot" I whispered.

She looked up at me sleepily as her little hands made grabbing movements towards my own as I held the bottle.

After I fed her, I decided to change her diaper and put a fresh sleepersuit on her as I forgot to put a bib on her and she had soaked her self in milk.

She was still half awake so I layed her in my bed in between kendall and I.

She made such lovely little noises, she grabbed my finger as her eyes got heavy and she drifted back to sleep.

I stared at her perfectness for such a long time until I realised kendall was watching me.

"hey I didn't know you were awake" I whispered.

"I've been awake for a while... Thanks for seeing to her... I think that's the first time since she was born that someone else has got up in the night to look after her" he whispered back.

"its a pleasure, she is amazing kendall"

"she is amazing all right... Tiring... But amazing" he smiled.

I looked at kendall for a few seconds "do you think that this is what our life would of been like if Canada hadn't of happened" I said quietly reminding him of what broke us up before which led to my car accident which I lost our baby boy in.

"I think it would be very much like this Sheri..." He replied

"I love you" I said reaching my hand over Ophelia and giving kendalls arm a stroke.

"I love you too, I'm the luckiest guy in the world right now Sheri, snuggled up with the two girls that mean the complete world to me... It doesn't get better than this" he whispered.

"I agree, I don't think it does get better than this... Than our little... Trio" I said.

"family Sheriden, our little family" kendall said giving my hand a squeeze.

I smiled at him.  
"Thankyou baby" I replied then gently snuggled down with my handsome lover and the little girl that desperately needed a mother, and I so desperately wanted to be it.

As I snapped back out of my memory day dream and the harsh reality of the prison cell i was still in came back to me, a few tears escaped.

All my hopes and dreams had gone now, my life was in ruins. I fell to sleep the sky was completely grey the next day, making my small cell even colder as the rain fell outside my tiny window.

I again decided to not eat my food, how the hell any one called this breakfast was beyond me. I went back to my cell miserable and hungry, my back hurting because of the rock hard bed I was forced to sleep in.

Just before dinner I was startled by the cell door opening.

"Sheriden, detective O'brien is here to talk to you" the prison guard informed me.

I had been expecting this, least now I knew that savannah had opened her big mouth. It was only a matter of time until James found out about kendall and I, if he didn't already.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sheridens story**

As I was once again walked down the white stone corridor and placed in the small cell like room that contained a table and chairs I wondered what horrors were next going to be unleashed on to my life.

"hello Sheriden" O'brien said as I was walked in.

I sat down but didn't address his welcome.

"we have had some interesting developments in the case come forward in the last few hours" he declared.

"really! That interesting that you had to drive all the way here to this shit hole to see me... I'm very touched detective" I mocked.

"Sheriden, savannah Pena, kendall Schmidt and Bobby Ischia, have All given independent statements that do place you in your hotel room the time that Marcus croft was killed.  
CCTV from the reception area has confirmed all three persons activity. We have searched your home, work place, laptop, personal computer, both your phones, and traced all activity on your bank accounts... It seems we can not find anything to suggest that you yourself murdered Marcus croft or that you hired a third party to do it for you. You are however still a suspect in the case because of the money that you had paid croft, but that is for the crown court jury to decide if you are involved, until then you are being released on bail. You will have to check in once a week, you are not permitted to leave the state of California or the united states if America until the state court hearing, do you understand?" He said.

My eyes popped out of my head. I wasn't expecting this... Freedom.

"when can I go?" I asked

"we will escort you back now" O'brien said.

"can I make a phone call?" I asked.

The detective nodded, then stood up,

I was taken back to the reception area where I had to sign to get my dress, shoes and jewellery back that I had worn the night they had arrested me.

Once presented with a phone I dialled the only number that could help me right now.

It rang and rang until the voicemail kicked in.

"kendall its Sheriden, please get this. I'm being released. I should be back at about 7pm. I'm scared to ho home, I don't know what James knows. Please meet me at the police station... Please honey. I'm so sorry if I've messed everything up" then hung the phone up.

I turned to see detective O'brien stood behind me.

"what?" I said with attitude to him.

"just seems odd that you were willing to go to prison for the murder of a man that you didn't kill to prevent your husband from finding out about your affair" he said knowingly

"we are all intitled to our private lives detective" I hissed back at him.

It was a quiet trip back to police station. I hoped kendall would meet me, I couldn't stomach the thought that James knew we had slept together.

after the near on four hour trip back we finally reached the police station that was only a short distance from my beautiful James.

I was taken in to yet another room, I was then asked questions about what happened the night savannah had been raped.

I was exhausted by the end of it, my head throbbed, I was absolutely starving, and had no energy what so ever.

The lady officer that had taken my statement then led me out in to a corridor that led to another room where I saw kendall waiting for me, he was sat in a seat bent over with his arms rested in his legs and his head bowed down looking at the floor. As he heard the footsteps from my heeled shoes he looked up, and stood up.

I greeted him with a huge hug, and then started crying on his shoulder. He held me so tight. Kissing the top of my head.

"come on let's get you out of this fucking place" he said then led me out.

We had been allowed to leave from the back entrance to not cause a media stampede, no one knew I was being released apart from kendall so we left the police station with out any bother, and got in to kendalls car.

"does James know?" I asked, my voice pitchy from the crying.

kendall looked at me quickly before returning his eyes to the road.  
"yeah he knows Sheri, so does pais' I'm so sorry... I told the police everything. They came and got me while I was with paisley, she heard that I was with you at the hotel that night."

"have you seen James?" I asked.

"no... Did you want to talk to him?" Kendall said.

"I'm going to have to aren't I... Is he going to leave me kendall?" I replied.

"I have no idea... I'm sorry. All I know is he head hunted Carlos down, he smacked him about a bit as far as I can tell, Carlos told him what savannah knew... Its not Carlos' fault though Sheri. You know what James is like" kendall said.

I stared out the window, wishing I was still in the prison cell,

"Sheriden I do love you, I know things are fucked up... Its over between us isn't it?" He said.

"you know how I feel about you kendall, but James is my husband... I love him still" I said softly my tears starting again.

"its okay... Sheri... I know this doesn't even matter right now but I still want you in ophelias life... She needs you" he said.

"that's kind... You have a good heart baby" I said taking his hand.

" I'm always gonna be there for you Sheri... Always" he said as he pulled up to the gates of Bel air.

As we drove up the driveway to my home I gave kendall one last look.  
"good luck Sheri" he said as I got out of the car.

I gave him a half smile and closed the door behind me and entered the house.

I stood in the grand entrance  
"James?" I called "James I'm home"

James walked out of the kitchen. His face tear stained and red from crying.

"its so nice to see a friendly face" I whispered out as my own tears started.

"is it true your fucking kendall behind my back" he said in a cold tone.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I do love you so much, I don't want to lose you James" I cried walking up to him, trying to hug him.

He pushed me away "are you fucking him?" he yelled as I fell back against the side board that was in the hall. Knocking a vase over.

I couldn't believe he pushed me "James! My back... Yes I did but it was a mistake, a big bloody mistake" I screamed.

I couldn't give a fuck about your back Sheriden... Fuck... I gave up everything for you, you have screwed it all completely up you stupid bitch!" He shouted.

I couldn't respond to that, I just became a crying mess, I thought he would ignore me or just ask me to leave, I didn't expect him to be so filled with rage.

"how long?" He demanded.

"that was the first time James" I cried "I promise... It was a massive mistake... Please I love you" I said taking my shoes off.

"don't lie to me... At least have the decency to tell me the fucking truth. Its the least you owe me Sheriden" he yelled.

"we kissed the first time I looked after Ophelia after paisley left... I've slept with him 5 times since... I'm sorry." I said, my face aching from crying.

"are you in love with him?" He asked.

"what? James this is kendall we are talking about. How am I meant to answer that?" I protested, James knew full well how kendall always had a place in my heart.

"answer the fucking question" he shouted.

"you know I do" I yelled back "your scaring me James" I cried.

" boo fucking hoo Sheri... I was scared fucking shitless when they took you away... Did you kill Marcus?" He said, his voice full of hate.

"no I didn't, why do you think they let me out" I stated.

"you know who did though don't you?" He said.

I just looked at him, I wasn't going to answer any of these questions.

"I have no clue as to who you are Sheriden... What's happened to you?" He said now tears running down his face.

"we can work through this James... I love you..." I tried to take his hand, he did hold it for a split second before he let go.

"I don't think I can work through this, you fucked my best friend, a man is dead and you have lied to everyone... Paisley was threatening to kill herself earlier, Logan had to drive her to be admitted to rehab because of what you and kendall have done. You have ruined my life, her life, Marcus crofts families lives, and obviously there is no big time fucking rush anymore. I'm done Sheriden... You keep saying how I've got my whole life still ahead of me... I wish you never came back... I wish you had died when you took that overdose, I wish I never fucking met you!" He screamed at me then barged past and went upstairs.

I followed him up, crying uncontrollably, begging for forgiveness.

"what... Are ...you... Doing" I sobbed out.

"getting you out of my house, and out of my life" he said as he pulled a ton of my clothes out of drawers and the walk in wardrobe and chucking them all in to a bag.

"James I bought the house, you can't chuck me out... I've only just got home... James!" I wailed.

"its my fucking name on the deeds Sheriden, you signed it over to me remember! your gonna wish you had of done that pre nup too, Coz I'm gonna take you for everything your worth... You fucking bitch... Your just a slut" he continued. Never had I seen or heard anything like this come out of James.

" you think I care about money? Take the fucking money, take the house. I don't give a shit... All I want is you James... Please, I'm sorry... I love you" I begged.

"I don't love you... Get the fuck out of my house" he said chucking the heavy duffle bag at me, this time actually knocking me off my feet.

I stayed slumped on the floor for a while sobbing.

"get out before I drag you out" was all he said.

It took a lot of effort to get the duffle bag off my leg it was so heavy, there was no way I was going to be able to carry it.

I left it and went downstairs, I searched for my mobile, finally finding it in the kitchen which was a complete wreck. I ran out the house and got in my car and left.

What a mess, I couldn't even drive properly, my entire body was shaking. My head was all over the place.

I saw I only had three choices of where I could go, best option was a hotel, but I was bound to get swamped by paparazzi. Second was Carlos, and lastly kendall. I tried calling Carlos and savannah but both were switched off. I did drive up to a hotel but chickened out, I needed a friendly face.  
I needed to have a good cry, I drove to kendalls.

I rang him before I left the comfort of my car.

"Sheriden?" He answered.

just a high pitched cry came out of me.

"Sheri... Calm down, talk to me Sheriden, what happened?" He said calmly.

"I'm... Outside" I managed to get out.

I then saw the door open, kendall walked up to the car, and opened the door.

He took one look at my face and knew that James had left me.

"come on... Let's get you in" he said as he unbuckled my seat belt and took my hand to help me out of the car.

Once inside his house he took me in his arms again and let me cry, he sat me down on the sofa. I just cried until no noise would come out, just sharp gasps of air and the occasional yawn.

Once I had calmed down he started his questions.

"did he hurt you?" He asked softly looking at me trembling.

I shook my head "no, he knocked me over though, he just didn't care. He told me to get out of his house and he was going to take me to the cleaners for all my money... He is going to divorce me" I cried.

"no he won't, James doesn't care about your money. He is just really pissed off, he will calm down Sheri... I promise" kendall said giving me a hug.

"I hope so... Everything is such a mess. James said paisley threatened to kill herself. Is that true?" I asked.

"yeh... Yeh it is true" he sighed. "I was taken away by the cops this morning to make a statement, leaving pais with phee, she went to Logans, Logan said she was really making a good effort with looking after Ophelia... Any way James went round, they all got talking about what I had to do with the murder then Mackenzie said maybe we are screwing... I think she was trying to help... In a sense, obviously its better to be a cheater than a murderer. But James went nuts, went to Carlos' and made him talk. he told him everything savannah saw at the hotel that night" he finished.

"mackenzie knew about us, she saw us kiss the night before the wedding...what did paisley do?" I asked.

"she didn't do anything, she threatened to take all her pills in one go, by the time I had got there to pick Ophelia up, pais had locked herself in the bathroom. She was a mess Sheri... She said she didn't want to see me, you or Ophelia as long as she lived"

"what have we done kendall?... What's happening with savannah then?" I asked.

"I don't know to be honest, she was all over the news. no one said anything but from what I know Los has taken her home to Florida, to get her away from the spotlight" he said.

"I tried phoning them both. I wish I could run away to Florida... Run away to anywhere" I sighed.

"well I was going to take Ophelia and go to Kansas. Come with me Sheriden... We could go anywhere, doesn't have to be Kansas" he Said his eyes hopeful.

"I actually would, but I'm not allowed to leave the state... I'm still the main suspect and have to check in" I whispered.

"but they let you go?" Kendall said.

"no, I was released on bail. They said there is no evidence apart from the money I was sending croft... I just pray to God that they don't catch who did do it" I said.

"so you do know?" Kendall asked.

Again I didn't answer, I just shrugged.

"okay, not sure I would want to know anyway" he replied.

"Sheri go and have a shower... Do you not have any clothes or anything with you?" he said looking at me in my party dress that I had to change back in to at the prison.

"no nothing, I didn't even put any shoes on" I said wiggling my dirty looking feet.

"pais has some clothes here still..." Kendall began.

"I'm not wearing paisleys clothes kendall" I argued. "I will call Bobby, he can get my bag from bel air... Least James shouldn't be able to cause him much harm" I said.

I did call bobby and he said he would be as quick as he can, I had a shower and freshened myself up, washed away all prison life from me.

I wrapped myself in a huge green towel. As I left the bathroom I heard kendall talking to Ophelia in his bedroom, she must of woken up. I poked my head in the room.

"hey" I whispered

"hey" he replied with a small smile.

"did I wake her up?" I asked

"no... She done a poo" he laughed "I just changed her... Come and say hello, she has missed you" kendall said quietly.

I walked in the darkened room, the only light coming from a star shaped night light. I peered in to the cot.

"my goodness Ophelia, aren't you a sight for sore eyes" I whispered with a smile.

She took a good look at me before her eyes got sleepy again.

I blew her a kiss and both kendall and I left the room.

"can I use a blow dryer please" I asked as kendall shut the door behind him.

"yeah course, its just in here, I won't be a sec" he whispered then went back in to the room he had just left and emerged brandishing a hair dryer.

"thanks" I replied as I took it from him. "I used your razor... Hope you don't mind, I've never seen so much hair on my legs and underarms" I smiled.

kendall smiled back "I will let you off just this once... I put your car in my garage, thought it best to not advertise that you are here"

"yeah that's a smart move... Thanks" I replied.

Bobby showed up with a ton of stuff for me, it seemed James was more than willing to get rid of my belongings. Bobby said that James hadn't even asked where I was staying.

Once I had thanked Bobby, and he had left I changed in to some pyjamas. Kendall turned the fire on, the weather was awful still outside.

"I made the guest room up for you, the one on the third floor, the other room is being decorated for phee... I'm trying to do it myself" he smiled.

"thanks... I don't think I will sleep much though." I admitted.

"no me either... Did you want to hug it out?" He asked.

I looked at him, obviously things were a little more than complicated now. We had both been fucking each other before, telling each other we loved one another, saying we were a little family... Now we were both pretty much single but didn't feel this was the time to carry anything on, at least I didn't.

Kendall must of read my mind "Sheri... Just friends tonight... I know you love James" he said taking my hand as we sat on the sofa in front of the fire.

"what about paisley?" I asked looking at him.

He shook his head.  
"I think that ship has sailed, I'm not in love with her anymore. I haven't been for a while now" he said.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"don't be, its not your fault... Just happens huh... I got phee out of all of it, so its not a complete waste of time" he said.

"kendall... What's going to happen with us?" I asked just as the baby monitor wailed with Ophelia crying.

"I don't know... I won't be long" he said as he got up and went to see to Ophelia.

I could hear him on the monitor  
"what's all this noise beautiful" he cooed, Ophelia kept crying.

"phee phee... Come on princess, don't cry" he said.  
The door at the top of the first flight of stairs opened and kendall came down holding his daughter.

"sorry... I think she had a bad dream" he said.

"its okay. Can I have a cuddle from her?" I asked.

Kendall smiled and handed me the baby.

"you be okay with her while I make her up a bottle?" He asked.

"course I will be... She is a little angel in disguise. aren't you phee phee?" I said to Ophelia.

Kendall came back after a few moments, he handed me the bottle, Ophelia gulped it down, she didn't have to think twice about it.

Kendall chuckled.

I looked up and smiled at him. "kendall... Do you think we could be a family? ... One day...Would it be like this all the time? You know I love her so much don't you" I whispered.

"being honest Sheriden, I have no idea what it would be like. Every time I thought I've had my love life mapped out something goes wrong... I can't promise you anything apart from giving it my best... If that's what you want?"

"its raw at the moment. I can't give up on this though" I said looking at Ophelia... I won't give up. Your my chance at true happiness kendall, both you and phee... Is that selfish?" I asked.

"Sheriden I couldn't care less if its selfish if it means that we could make another go of it that would make me the happiest man in the world... I never wanted to let you go in the first place. I want you back Sheriden" he whispered as Ophelia was nodding off halfway through her feed.

"how? I do love you... But how can we just do this... James will go mad" I said

"James has already gone mad... Let's just do it. I don't think the band is ever gonna survive this one Sheri is it?" He said.

"James said its finished, he is done with big time rush... That's a direct quote from him" I added.

"then let's do this, we could be happy Sheriden, we could leave LA, and just start new somewhere else... Just us three" he said now looking at Ophelia.

"what about paisley, she won't let you just leave? I'm not that selfish that I would take her daughter away from her" I said.

"paisley won't lose her, there is no way, she would get full custody of her though if she did put up a fight for her. She could see Ophelia whenever she wanted... This can work Sheriden... This is what you want... A family" he said taking my hand.

I smiled, this was what I had always wanted. Not like this though but this is what option life had offered me.  
"I love you" I said

Kendall smiled his beautiful dimpled grin at me.  
"I love you too ... What do you say then?" He asked.

"I say fuck what everyone else thinks for once, I don't care about James, or paisley or anyone. I don't care what the public think, or the bloody press... Let's do it... I love you... Let's just do this" I said not knowing if I meant what I had said or not, all I knew is that I had snapped. I was angry that James had reacted as bad as he had and had just shut off his feelings, even forgetting about my back, and making me fall to the floor.  
I was annoyed that no one seemed grateful that I had done the only thing I could do to get rid of Marcus croft and save kendall and Logan in particular from a lengthy spell behind bars. No one appreciated anything I had done... Apart from kendall, he was the only one that wanted me.

"what if I get found guilty of murder once this trial starts?" I said now sounding scared.

"I don't know what you know about it Sheriden" he said

"everything. I knew you would turn up at that hotel, I had a plan b." I confessed.

"I did think you had taken it a bit light heartedly when I flushed the cocaine... I don't want to know who it was" he said slowly.

I wouldn't ever tell you anyway, but Marcus was meant to be drugged, being strangled was just a bad turn of events... I felt bad for that because he knew what was coming in the end" I said. "there is no direct link to me though. I know that, and as Long as the person that did do it can hold their mouths shut they can't be linked either.

"Sheri... Let's just take everything as it comes okay, if the worst happens... Which it won't! then let's make this time happy. If it doesn't happen then we have made a great start on the rest of our lives" he whispered.

"what would I ever do with out you kendall" I said softly.

"have a relatively boring life?" he chuckled. "come to bed with me... Just so I can hold you... Take it a day at a time yeah!" He said.

"can I put her in her cot?" I asked

"you can put her in it, take her out when she cries, you can do what you like Sheri" he smiled.

"let's go to bed then" I replied.


	8. Chapter 8

**Savannahs story**

We had just got back from the police station giving my statements about the rape and my witness report on Sheriden, I saw on the news that kendall had been brought in already.

the media attention outside the house was already chaos. Reporters wanting to know about the rape, I was already an emotional wreck having to tell my version of events over and over in great detail to two strangers.

"Carlos how Long will this shit last?" I quietly sobbed as I looked out the window to see reporters and camera men trying to get another glimpse of me.

"I don't know savs... Don't worry we are safe inside here. I was thinking of going to Florida till things calm down, how does that idea strike you?" He asked.

"Florida sounds fucking amazing Carlos. Anywhere but here... This kind of attention sucks ass. I only like the fun kind" I said wiping my face.

"okay cool, well go pack a bag, I will call my dad, I don't know what the mood will be like when we get there, obviously with Sheriden behind bars the atmosphere is going to be tense" he said giving me a kiss.

"not as tense as it will be here if James and paisley find out about kendall and Sheriden screwing each other" I said.

Carlos sighed "true... I don't want to be around for that. Savs are you doing okay... Keep talking to me about what's going on in that gorgeous little head of yours, we are doing this together yeah, me and you!" He said sternly.

"I know, and I will... Stop being so fucking serious. I'm doing fine. I just hope they believe me and that cunt crofts name turns to shit instead of him being some kind of fucking hero" I replied.

Carlos smiled "go pack a bag... Let's get out of LA for a bit yeh" he said giving me a tight hug which I enjoyed.

I went in to Carlos' room, it was my room as well now of course, not that we did anything other than sleep in here, I wish I could have sex with him. I felt close to letting it happen once. I was kissing Carlos the other night, it felt right and I welcomed him to touch me, but on the first contact of his hand on my privates I freaked out. It made me feel like I had made the situation worse by acting like that, Carlos insisted that it would just take time. He took it in his stride, he was never pushy, I suspected that he must be having daily wanks or something to control himself, the kissing we did was pretty hot, it got me going. But he never ever went in for the kill, no matter how horny I said I was. He only ever touched what I said he could... Which was never much to be true.

I packed a carry on bag with essentials. Sheriden had given me a credit card but as far as I was aware the police had frozen all her assets so I was living off of Carlos' money. Only for now but I guess if Sheriden does get thirty years in prison then that is my modelling career finished before its even begun.

I packed some things for Carlos, but left his bag open on the bed, I wasnt entirely sure what he wanted to bring with him. I carried mine down stairs.

He was still on the phone in the living room so I went in to the kitchen to make a drink.

The door knocked, I looked through the side window to the large heavy wooden door, and saw James.

I opened up purely because he was being swamped by paps. He was hurling abuse at them. I slammed the door shut as he entered and put the chain across.

"everything okay?" I mumbled not making eye contact.

"tell me why kendall is involved in all this Marcus croft shit" James demanded.

"the police said im not allowed to talk about the case with anyone James... Sorry" I said.

"don't fuck me about savannah you stupid bitch... just fucking tell me what you know" he shouted.

Carlos walked in the room having hung the phone up.

"James calm down" Carlos said.  
James didn't calm down, he knocked everything that was sat on a shelving unit down, shouting that the entire house was going to end up like that if no one told him the truth.

"fuck... just tell him Carlos" I cried, now scared stiff.

"savannah saw Sheriden and kendall at the fairview hotel" Carlos said.

"so kendall is in on the Marcus croft thing... Did he kill him?" James asked.

"no buddy... They were pretty much naked... I'm sorry James, Sheriden confessed that they had been sleeping together, she begged savs to not tell anyone, I only found out the other day... I'm so sorry" Carlos said softly "me and savannah are going to Florida. I'm not sure when we will be back. I'm at the end of the phone for you though James, I know Sheriden is family but what her and kendall have done is unforgivable" he said

James just stared at Carlos, not really believing what he had just heard. He stayed silent for several minutes.

"it is unforgivable isn't it? Why did they do that? We have only been married for a few weeks... I can't get my head around this... Did they kill Marcus?" He asked.

"no, from what I gather savannah was with them the time that Marcus was killed... Hopefully Sheriden shouldn't be kept inside there for too much longer... I hope you can sort it out James" Carlos said.  
Carlos had a good head on his shoulders, he was silly 80 percent of the time, but he could be a grown up when it mattered.

James just nodded. "can you call Logan and tell him what you know. Paisley is in a state just thinking he is involved in it. She is staying with him with Ophelia." He said calmly then made his way to the door.

"James don't do anything stupid will you" Carlos said.

"I've never thought more sensibly in all my life Los" he replied then unchained the door and left.

Carlos phoned Logan and explained what I had seen. Single handedly me reporting my rape had ruined everything. I felt awful.

I went to the bathroom as I felt sick to the stomach at what I had created and tried to puke to just get the disgusting feeling out.

Carlos came in. "savs don't do this to yourself... You have done the right thing, you were assaulted baby. You had something so fucking tragic happen to you. If Sheriden and kendall decided to do what they done then its nothing to do with you, that is there fault sav, do you hear me" he said rubbing my back as I had my head in the toilet bowl.

"if I wasn't such a fucking slut none of this would of happened" I cried.

"savannah your not like that, you know your not, I love you savannah... For everything you are and you are not that" he said.

I looked up. It was the first time he had said he loved me... Ever.

"you love me?" I said.

"yeah, course I do... Even your foul mouth" he laughed.

"we haven't even had sex though, how can you tell if you love me" I asked.

"because your beautiful, and your funny, and your sweet, and your even kind... Sometimes" he chuckled.

I laughed with him. "Thankyou Carlos."

"no problem, I hope one day you can say that you love me too. I know we are completely backwards getting married and all the other shit we have done. I want to be a team savs" he said.

I smiled at him and sat on the bathroom floor. "we are a team. I couldn't do any of this with out you"

"cmon, our flight leaves soon. Get your ass in gear" he said giving my hand a little squeeze.

The journey to Florida was quiet. We tried to not draw any attention to ourselves. I wore one of Carlos snap back caps with my red hair in a plait. He had a baseball hat on and we both wore sun glasses. Carlos held my hand almost the entire trip there, he even waited outside the toilet for me on the plane so no one felt they could approach me.

Once in Florida Carlos' family was very welcoming but I did feel a bit out of place. I was like the pink elephant in the room, everyone wanted to talk about what had happened but it wasnt the kind of crime people felt comfortable talking about, if Marcus croft had of mugged me then people would say how scary it must of been or asked questions about what happened, but being raped was such a taboo thing. No one knew what to say, there were no kind healing words for a rape victim that anyone could offer.

after an awkward couple of hours of making conversation, some of it about Sheriden, but mostly about things that didn't really matter.

"Carlos I feel tired I might call it a day" I whispered while we were alone for a rare second.

"yeah I'm feeling like I need to escape too" he smiled then stood up, he took my hand and went to tell his mother we were going to go up to bed, she gave him a kiss and she squeezed the life out of me.  
I took this as a translation to say she was so sorry about what had happened to me. I had called my own mother this morning and told her, she cried so hard, and begged me to come home, I think if I had of gone home then her hug would of felt very similar to what Carlos' mom had just given me.

Carlos' room was nice, it had been recently decorated by the looks of things. The entire house had been re done, it was all very modern. The bed was small though, still a double but a snug double, not what I had got used to at his House in LA.

"wasnt too bad was it?" He smiled

I layed down fully clothed on the bed and sighed "no it wasn't too bad... Everyone seems quiet don't they" I said.

Carlos sat on the end of the bed, he gave my foot a little pat " how about I take you out on the boat while we are down here, its really fun, be something nice to look forward to... We could go to Disney, and Busch gardens, we could do all that stuff. I want to see that pretty smile savs" he said.

"sounds fucking awesome. What did I do to deserve you huh" I smiled.

Carlos just smiled back "no ensuite in here I'm afraid savs. I'll make myself scarce in the bathroom while you get changed 'Kay" he said.

"thanks Carlos"

Once tucked up in bed I snuggled in to my handsome new husband, he was always so warm and safe feeling. I thought back to the night I took the blame for Carlos' speeding when he first bought his new car.  
I hated him so much then because of how he had treated my sister and Logan. Now I was married to him. I adored his company, and never wanted to be without him.

The next few days got easier, Carlos treated me to days out to a selection of theme parks, he even took me swimming with dolphins, it was amazing. on the third day of being in Florida I decided it was time to get my head out of the sand and read a news paper to see what was happening, I had ignored my phone since I got here, not wanting to be disturbed. As i read through the papers i saw most of the news about Sheriden and my rape had been over shadowed by a string of small tremors that had hit some parts of California.

however the celebrity pages were full of surprise.  
"Carlos have you seen this?" I asked shocked as we sat at his families dining table.

Carlos slid the paper towards himself so he could read it "holy shit" he said.

The paper had a full sized picture of Sheriden and kendall out and about holding hands taking Ophelia out in the pram. There was another picture of them kissing on a smaller inset.

The story that was published told the tale of the brewing war that had erupted in camp maslow.

Sheriden had confirmed that her and James had separated, as far as the paps had gathered she was now living with kendall and Ophelia.

James had refused to comment on anything, he had however been seen out with a dark haired woman that was in another of the papers, but Carlos said he was almost one hundred percent sure that was his lawyer.

My sister was no where to be seen as usual in the papers but another story was running on what was happening with paisley, she had gone to rehab but left less than 24 hours later with Logan in tow.  
Logan had a protective arm around her in the picture as he opened the door to his car for her to get in, they both had sunglasses on.

There was a lot of chat about something paisley had done on you tube. The last thing I had seen her do was California king bed on there.  
"what has she done on youtube?" I asked Carlos.

"I don't know, I will get the laptop" he said his face serious.  
I loaded the laptop up while Carlos said goodbye to his brother Antonio, he was flying off on holiday with his girlfriend Ana. Antonio seemed very quiet from the last time I had seen him. I guessed he felt sad about everything Sheriden had been going through. Carlos said they were extremely close, a picture of Sheriden, Antonio and one of her old boyfriends was hung with a selection of other family snaps in the hallway of the house. Sheriden looked so different in that picture. She was in the middle draped over both Antonio and the other guy. She looked happy in that picture, compared to the bitch pout she now wore in the paper holding hands with kendall.

I loaded youtube up, it seemed paisley had been busy. a drunk James had also participated in one of her cover songs that had been uploaded.

although people, btr fans and pretty much everyone in general was aware that paisley was having postnatal problems, it had been kept mostly private.  
Now she was having a very public mental meltdown, she could give Britney spears a run for her money.

The first song pais had uploaded was a heartfelt kelly Clarkson cover of 'because of you' obviously stating she missed kendall. I had the feeling that James was behind the camera, someone was playing an instrument for her. The second was 'halo' by Beyonce, but paisley dedicated this song for a good friend and sang it perfectly note for note, but the lyrics had been changed, making a massive piss take out of the entire song, I presume James had written it as paisley wasnt that intelligent or witty but instead of it being called 'halo', now the title of it was 'shallow' . To be fair the new lyrics were highly amusing knowing they were about Sheriden and kendall but knowing that 'halo' was James and sheridens song that they shared there first dance to at there wedding was heart breaking.

Paisley did two other covers on her own, she looked more pissed in each video that was uploaded the last one was a complete shambles. James was now in front of the camera with her, he was very drunk, they had a bit of a chat to the camera, both full of giggles then finally sang puddle of muds 'she fuckin hates me'

Carlos saw the end of it on the laptop after he said goodbye to his brother.  
"what the fuck is that?" He said.

"that's James and paisley not letting them get away with it quietly I do believe... What a mess Carlos"

"I can't believe James has done that, what else have they done" Carlos said as he watched the other videos he missed.

"Carlos I'm not sure I want to go back to that, what's happening with big rime rush?"

"I don't know, I don't think that James and kendall will be able to work together again ay" he said.

"what have I done Los" I asked.

"savs this wasn't you. It wasn't... look, we came here to forget all that shit okay, if anything important happens that concerns us then the police will phone, from now on, we aren't looking at papers or the news or the flaming internet. tomorrow we are going out on my yacht and we are going to have a perfect romantic day... I love you savs".

"your amazing Los. Thankyou... I can't wait!" I said giving him a kiss.

The rest of our day was pretty chilled out, we went to bed fairly early because we were waking up early to go on the boat.

"Los do you miss living with your family?" I asked as I curled up next to him under the covers.

"yeah sometimes, I like living in LA though the lifestyle is amazing... What about you. You just jumped straight in huh. Bet you miss home a lot. I never really thought about it much, we should visit your mom ... Maybe your dad too" he smirked knowing what a pain in the ass my dad was.

"I do miss home but so much has changed, dads gone, moms got a new guy moved in, and kenz is out in LA. My home is you now. I like that idea. Your my knight in shining armour Los. I wouldn't be without you now" I said giving him a kiss.

"was that you being romantic" he laughed.

I giggled at him "maybe... How did I do" I smirked at him.

"pretty good for a foul mouthed teenage bride" he joked.

I kissed him again, Carlos stroked my my hair back from my face. "I love you" he said kissing the top of my nose, your such An amazing and strong person savannah" he whispered looking in to my eyes.

"Los do you want me to take my top off?" I asked out of the blue, Carlos had never really seen me naked, he had seen bits, but never the whole thing in one go.

"sav I'm ready when you are baby, if you want to then I would like it but if your not ready then it can wait" he replied.

I sat up and took my pyjama vest top off exposing my breasts.

"What do you think then" I asked

"I think your beautiful" he replied.

I took his hand and placed it on one of my boobs, this was a huge step for me.  
"kiss me Carlos" I whispered.

Carlos did kiss me, slowly. his hand that I had placed on my body didn't move, he stroked his thumb on me, which was more to tell me he appreciated it but he wasn't about to start grabbing at my tits.

Once again our kiss was very seductive, it was slow, and beautiful. I got turned on and wanted him to touch me and make love to me but it was just the fear that stopped me.

I pulled away from his kiss  
"you okay?" He asked.

"yeah... This is good, its nice. I was thinking, maybe you could take your top off too" I offered.

"you sure?" He said softly.

I nodded.

He removed his hand from my breast and sat up to remove his tee shirt that he wore solely for my benefit.

Once he lay back down I pushed myself against his body, he felt so warm, feeling my boobs naked up against his chest was nice, I kissed him. Running my thumb along the stubble on his chin.

"Carlos I want to do it" I whispered.

He looked at me, his eyes full of concern and joy all at the same time.

"I want to Los" I said.

Carlos didn't say anything, he placed his hand on my hip and kissed me, pulling me in closer toward him, I could feel his erection. It made my heart beat faster if that was possible. I was filled with adrenaline.

I ran my fingers along Carlos' chest, I could feel the little patches of hair that he had on it. I liked how it felt.

I pulled away from his kiss and pulled my pyjama trousers and my underwear down.  
I was certain that I should be having a cardiac arrest the rate my heart was going.

"do yours" I whispered to him.

Carlos did as he was told and undressed, once his trousers were off I kind of invited him to lay on top of me, it wasnt the first time he had, he had lots of times, but it was the first time we had both been naked.

He layed there for a while just kissing my neck and my lips, he was in no rush to try and get inside me, I adored this about him. He was so understanding it was unreal.

Carlos kissed me gently, he again ran his hand across my head freeing my face from unwanted strands of hair. All was going brilliantly until I shifted my position, I felt a tiny tug from my hair which made a load of shit memories come flooding in to my brain. I tried to ignore it, Carlos kissed me not knowing I felt uneasy.

I guess he was going to ask if I was ready for him to be inside me, but he pulled away from our kiss and saw a silent tear fall down from my face.

"sav... Oh baby... Savannah... Don't cry", he whispered, he gently got off of me and pulled his pants back on, he put the cover completely over me to cover my modesty. He pulled me in for a hug where I collapsed in floods of tears.

"baby im so sorry" I blubbed.

"don't say sorry... Talk to me, what was it, was I moving to fast. I need to know savs, be honest baby girl" he said.

"no, you were perfect, it was perfect, just..." I couldn't get the right words out.

"just what savannah?" He whispered holding me gently.

"you accidentally leant on my hair, and I couldn't move my head, it was nothing you did it was just the memories of those bastards Los... I'm so sorry... God I ruined that, it was all perfect" I cried.

"savannah I'm sorry. I should of used my brain, come here... I would never hurt you... Ever... I love you savs" he said giving me a kiss on the cheek and holding me even closer.

"you don't have any brains Los" I laughed through my tears. Carlos laughed too. "im getting there though, I'm sorry about the tears... It honestly wasnt you, just the memories" I reassured him.

"your beautiful savannah." He whispered.

I smiled. "I'm gonna put my knickers back on now" I chuckled.

Carlos got off the bed and handed my pyjamas and underwear to me, he turned away Like a true gentlemen while I shimmied them on.

I snuggled back under the bed covers. "I'm done" I declared.

Carlos turned and got back in to bed realising I still didn't have a top on "your being brave" he smiled.

"I trust you with my life, so my tits should be fine" I smiled. "besides I enjoyed feeling close to you... It was nice" I whispered snuggling in to his chest.

Carlos wrapped his arms around me. "i guard your life with my own heart" he said "night baby... Get some sleep now, we have a very early start" he whispered kissing my forehead.


	9. Chapter 9

**Paisleys story**  
I think yesterday was the worst day of my entire life, and coming from me that's really bad.  
In one day I lost my boyfriend, by best girlfriend and my hopes of getting better and becoming the mom I always wanted to be.

I asked Logan to take me to rehab because I couldn't bare to be in my life anymore.  
I wasn't brave enough to kill myself, I just wanted some direction in which I should turn.  
I was doing so well yesterday, kendall got questioned by the police leaving me with Ophelia, I freaked out to start with, panicked. But Logan. My very very good friend Logan just talked me through everything, he was amazing. I was great until Mackenzie made a comment that Sheriden and kendall might be at it, and that was his reason for being at the hotel the night Marcus croft died. It wasn't until Logan had received a phonecall from Carlos telling him that this was a fact that my world came tumbling down.

Logan broke it to me so gently. He was so upset himself, he was absolutely appalled at kendall.  
I made a bit of a show of myself when kendall came to pick Ophelia up. Logan was insisting that I would be fine and to throw all my energy in to being a great mom, but my brain couldn't handle the information. I locked myself in the toilet and said I would take a bunch of pills if I ever saw him or Sheriden ever again. I told him to get lost. Then begged Logan to take me to rehab.

I had been here for one night. Logan had spent the last two hours with me, he had filled me in on some disturbing news that my barely ex boyfriend was now in a relationship with Sheriden, shacked up in the place I used to call home and she was mothering my child.  
Logan told me these these to purposely make me angry, to make me get my fight back. And to try and become the paisley I used to be.

"pais just come home with me, this place won't do you any good, its for drug addicts and alcoholics, you are neither, your depressed, and being in here is not going to help you" Logan said.

"I've got nothing though logues" I said feeling defeated.

"pais don't talk shit, you have Ophelia, there's one big massive thing, you have an amazing career ahead of you. You have me, Kenzie and James to fall back on... We are your family pais... I know I am. I'm always gonna be here for you... Mates for life you and me huh?" He said with his lovely smile.

"thanks Logan, I just don't have the energy to fight anymore" I said.

"paisley get ya stuff together you are coming back with me. I will look after you. Let's go and see Ophelia. Last thing you want is Sheriden getting her feet under the table at your house... You love kendall... Sort yourself out and get him back!" He demanded.

"he doesn't want me back" I said "that's why he has gone back to her."

"pais Sheriden doesn't want kendall, she wants your daughter. Its fucking obvious, she would never give James up... The only reason she is with kendall now is because they got caught... I'm telling you now it won't last... Those two are a problem waiting to happen, they were before and they still are now. Get your man back pais! Come back to mine, and Kenzie and I will sort you out" he insisted.

"I do love him so much. I moved out to fix us not force them together." I said getting tearful.

"paisley do this for your daughter... Sheriden just wants a baby so bad she will do anything. Kendall is just... I dunno?... being a prick! You guys are meant for each other. Don't just give up on it" he said.

"I don't know if I can forgive him for this though logues" I sighed.

"its better to try, look just get all your anger out, piss him off... Do what you gotta do. Come home with me pais... Please" he begged.

"how is James?" I asked ignoring his plea.

"James is jumping in at the deep end. He is talking divorce at the moment... But he is just angry... Talk to him, you guys should talk, he needs you too pais. Come on. Get your bag... Let's go home" he tried again.

"you make everything sound so simple Logan, when its not" I argued.

"life is only as difficult as we make it... I think Sheriden and kendall have proved that" he protested.

I nodded... "Okay" I replied

"okay? Your come home with me?" He asked.

"yeah I want to see my baby logues. I miss her" I whispered.

"I will call him, say you want to see her... Okay" he smiled.

again I nodded. Once I had packed and checked myself out of the rehab clinic, Logan walked me to his car, the paparazzi were waiting, Logan said to ignore them for now so I did. as we got going in his car we only got a few yards down the road when all the traffic came to a standstill. The car began shaking.  
"fuck" Logan said

"shit is that an earthquake?" I asked.

Logan sat quiet for a little while, we just watched as pedestrians panicked and things gently shook.

It went as fast as it had come.

"just a little shake pais... You okay?" He asked now all was back to normal.

"yeah fine... I hate those fucking things, I remember when I was 6 there was a big one when I was at school in Reno. I got hit on the head with some lighting strips that fell down. Glass everywhere." I told him.

"well as long as I'm here I won't let nothing fall on your head" he smiled as he started the car up again and got going.

"pais can you just text Kenzie for me, make sure she's okay?" He added.

"yeah course" I said then used his phone to text Mackenzie.

"logues is it okay to use your phone to text kendall. just to check Ophelia is okay. He will think its you... That alright?" I asked.

"yeah go for it, don't be too polite though, he has pissed me off big style with what he has done" he replied.

I smiled at Logan in gratitude. He really was such a good friend to me. I was lucky to have him.

I text kendall.  
'just checking you and Ophelia are okay. Felt a quake just now :-( txt bck' I wrote.

The phone vibrated in my hand, it was Mackenzie I smiled at her reply.

"was that kenz?" Logan asked "she okay?"

I laughed at him "she is fine, she replied 'hey logie, I'm fine. Felt bigger vibrations in the bedroom' and she put a winky face" I giggled.

Logan blushed a little then had a chuckle.

The phone went off again. My heart jumped in to my mouth. I read the text that was from kendall who thought he was replying to Logan 'hey man, all good. Phee is fine. We didn't feel anything. In SD shopping' it simply said.

My heart sank back down to the pit of my stomach.

"is Ophelia okay?" Logan asked.

"yeah, they are in San Diego shopping... On a family day out I expect" I Said full of resentment "I won't be seeing her today then will I, if they are still in San Diego now" I moaned.

Logan looked across at me then turned back to the road.  
"paisley I will call him when I get back and say you want to see her tomorrow, he can't stop you... She needs her mommy" he said.

"thanks Logan" I replied.

Once we did get back to Logans beautiful house Mackenzie was there waiting for me with a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine.

I laughed at the kind gesture, this is what we always did when we were younger but obviously not the wine.

"I'm not meant to drink while im on these tablets" I said disappointedly.

"I'm sure one night won't hurt pais" she said. "besides James is coming round, he wants to talk to you... You could both do with a drink"

That was true, when James did get round, he was so apologetic, he was apologising on behalf of Sheriden for what had happened. I told him to shut up. It wasn't his place to be saying sorry. We shared hugs and tears and a shed load of alcohol.

James tried to talk me in to coming back in to the studio.  
"it will take your mind off things pais. You need to have the determination to succeed" he insisted.

"I will but I'm just not sure at the moment... Least all the btr fans have changed direction now and seem to be offering me some support at last... All there hate is aimed at Sheriden" I said.

"they are shallow, they just jump on the bandwagon. The fans do my head in... The vocal ones at least. Sometimes they are worse than the paparazzi." James said.

"yeah they are shallow... But they help pay the bills huh" I agreed.

"yeah they do" James sighed.

"James I had an email from Madeleine the other day. I'm not sure what to do about it" I said.

"your agent Madeleine? What did it say... Your not gonna leave my record label are you pais?" He said sounding worried.

"no, course I'm not. I love working with you. I've actually been offered a lead role in a movie" I smiled.

"really? That's amazing! What kind of movie?" James asked filling his wine glass up again.

"its based on a Nicholas Sparks novel. Based in the 1940's, I would play a jazz singer in a band. Its a tragic love story... They want full nudity though. They are offering me a lot of money to do the part James."

"I say do it... Your obviously thinking about it pais. This could be amazing for you" James said.

"yeah I would love to, but I have never acted... Unless it was at school, and I was shit at that"

"that doesn't matter pais who is your Co star?"

"well its josh hutcherson who the girl ends up falling in love with at the end but Chris Hemsworth is the hot bad guy that is with me through most of it. The plot sounded good... Fully naked though James... Not sure I can do it"

"paisley you will be fine. Don't worry about the acting they tell you how to say stuff if you don't get it... Are you doing a soundtrack?" He asked

"I don't know, the email just said, date, plot and who is on board... And the money... They invited me to go up and have a chat with them. there is too much going on in my head right now to take this on I think James"

"you will regret it pais if you don't. This could be your calling in life... Here what do you think of this" he said passing me the piece of paper he had been writing on for the last few minutes sat at Logans table in the kitchen with me.

I read it through, it seemed like a silly rhyme.

"what is it?" I asked

"its halo... Kinda, but rusher stylee" he smiled.

"you wrote this to have a bitch about your fans to yours and sheridens song?" I said not quiet knowing what I should do, laugh or be sad for him.

"yeah... Kills two birds with one stone, you wanna sing it... Obviously I can't. They pay my bills. But i pay yours, so you can sing it." He smiled.

I read through the new lyrics again. It really was very funny.

"James people will think this is about kendall if I sing it"

"then its kills three birds with one stone" he smiled.

"who do you blame James, Sheriden or kendall?"

"myself actually... I could of stopped it, took more notice of what she was up to... I could of reacted different... I feel sorry for kendall really. She doesn't love him... She may think she does. But I know she doesn't. What about you? Who do you blame?" He asked. I noticed then how tired James looked. I bet he hadn't slept properly since Sheriden got taken away at the party.

"I blame Sheriden... She was meant to be my friend James. She knew how easy it would be to take kendall from me. I hate her... I'm sorry. if she thinks she is getting her hands on my baby then she is very much mistaken" I said so quietly it was almost a whisper.

"have you spoken to kendall today?" He asked.

I shook my head "no but I know he was in San Diego shopping.

"its fucking shit isn't it. I gave her everything I could you know, and she just stabs me in the fucking back..." James got emotional.

"don't get upset" I Said reaching a hand out for him.

"I threw a bag at her and she fell over, I told her I wish she had of died and that I wish I never met her pais... Why did she do it?" He cried

"James Sheriden wants a baby, she thinks she is getting mine, but I tell you now she isn't" I said adamantly.

"I love her so much pais. You really think its all just about being close to Ophelia?" He asked.

"that's what Logan said... Least Sheriden has an excuse. Kendall just wanted to fuck someone" I said sadly.

James gave my hand a squeeze just as the entire room started shaking, I heard Logans car alarm go off and some things fell on to the floor. Before we had a chance to react the shaking stopped.

"fuck that was the second one today" James said.

Logan walked in from the living room to see what had smashed then went to turn his car alarm off.

"pais I'm gonna have to go, fox freaked out at the other one today, he is only a little guy" he said softly.

"oh... That sucks. Its good talking to you about this James, your the only one that gets it." I replied.

"well if you want you can come with me. I won't be sleeping again so the company is always good" he said.

I thought about it. I was having fun and getting a load of stuff off my chest.

"yeah okay. I need Logan to phone kendall for me first, I want to definitely see Ophelia tomorrow" I replied.

"okay well I'll phone a cab... We can take that bottle with us too" he said smiling "

I went to track Logan down who was currently putting things back in order that had fallen out of place from the tremor.

"Logan is it okay if you call kendall for me now please? I'm going to go to james' and get pissed" I asked.

"yeah sure... I think your already pissed pais" he laughed as he got his phone out "see her tomorrow yeh?" He whispered as the phone rang in his ear.

I nodded and sat down on the sofa next to Mackenzie. My heart once again jumping in to my mouth.

"hey man how's things?" Logan said to kendall as I listened in to the one half of the conversation.

"yeah?" Logan said vaguely then he listened to kendall talking for several minutes.

"okay yeah i get that but... well paisley is staying with Kenzie and I for a bit. Obviously she is finding this hard and she wants to see Ophelia tomorrow, she misses her." Logan said down the phone.

silence filled the room as we waited on kendall to stop speaking.

"dude, honestly I get that but you can't just say no" Logan said.

"yeah she is... Hang on I will ask her" Logan said then turned to me.

He covered the mouth piece up with his hand, James walked in to the room and stood watching the goings on.

"he wants to talk to you pais" Logan said.

"I don't want to talk to him, I want to see Ophelia tomorrow... Is he saying no?" I said, my voice shaking.

"no he is just saying that he isn't in town, he won't be back until Wednesday then you can see her" Logan said sympathetically.

"that's bullshit give me the fucking phone" James said.

He snatched Logans mobile.

"kendall you may think you have the right to run off and fuck my wife, but fortunately paisley has a legal right to see her daughter when ever she wants. she will be expecting to have her here, at Logans by ten tomorrow morning" James said, his voice filled with attitude.

"I don't give a fuck, I will drive up and get her my self if I have to..." He continued.

James laughed down the phone bitterly "fuck you... 10am tomorrow or I will have sheridens money pay for the most expensive lawyer I can find for paisley to get complete custody, and then use sheridens money again to get another lawyer to start my divorce proceedings... You can tell her that... Feel free" James said then hung the phone up.

"James what the fuck?" Logan said.

"no he is being a cocky little shit. Said he won't drive back from San Diego, he will be back the day after tomorrow. Final, he said" James replied

"I'm going to lose her aren't I" I said, once again feeling defeated.

"over my dead body you are pais" James said.

"woah..." Logan said loudly "look, kendall didn't say she couldn't see her, he just said he wasnt going to drive back down tomorrow, he said first thing Wednesday paisley can see her... He didn't say no, and he never mentioned anything about custody... He wouldn't do that to you paisley" Logan said.

"no but Sheriden would" Mackenzie said next to me, sat on the sofa.

"pais I dunno about you but I'm ready to get shit faced now" James said.

I just nodded.

Logan made sure I had taken my tablets, he said he would text kendall, try and sort something out then get back to me.

"take care of her James" he called as James and I got in to the back of a cab and set off for his house.

"why are they in San Diego James?"

"not sure, Sheriden has a little beach house there. I guess they are hiding out for a bit... stupid really my mom only lives a few minutes away... God help Sheriden if she bumps in to her, that's all I can say" he sighed.

Once back at james' he sorted his two dogs out. Then slouched down on his huge sofa that dominated the smaller of the reception rooms. It was the same room that my labour first started when I had Ophelia... When Sheriden and I were so close.

"I want to get so fucking drunk James" I said

James gave me a weak smile then got up out of his seat then pulled me up by his hands and walked me out to the kitchen which was still a complete wreck. He grabbed two bottles of red wine that sat in an rack and then walked in to another room.  
Then opened a door up in that room and walked in. I had never been through this door before. It led in to one of the many garages that was at the property but it had been turned in to a fairly large music room. It looked more housey than garagy now.

James sat down in the gorgeous red sofa that sat up against one wall. There was all manner of instruments in here.

"you wanna sing?" He said.

"I will after I've drunk some of this" I replied pouring myself a glass of red wine.

both James and I decided to just try and forget the shit that had inflicted our lives and try and have a fun night.

he recorded me singing 'because of you' which I thought was a lovely song to sing for Logan.  
Logan was a brilliant friend to me.

I also sang the david guetta, 'titanium' track. It was very uplifting actually. and I sang 'always' by bon jovi. James filmed them all. He loved my singing. He really enjoyed listening to me. Even in the studio he would kind of watch in awe.  
It was lovely.

We had quick debate of weather I should sing the 'shallow' song that James had invented.

it was incredibly funny. It was going to be a huge trender. Yet no one would really know that it was mostly about the dumbass big time rush fans that couldn't keep opinions to themselves.

We concluded that I would sing it.  
I sang the song brilliantly, it was still in the serious style of halo which made the whole thing even funnier, I don't know how I kept a straight face doing it.

After James and I had drunk even more wine, he was totally smashed, his hair was a messy tuft on top of his head we decided to make a little video to the people on the world of you tube.

James set the camera up and we both sat on the red sofa while we talked in to it.

"hey guys" James started "I'm here with the beautiful paisley prince" he smiled as I gave a little wave to the camera. "paisley and I thought it was best to let you all know what is going on"

"and what is going on James?" I said sarcastically to the camera.

"well pais... We have been dumped haven't we" James said sarcastically back, he was very drunk and still had his wine glass in his hand.

"we have... Your wife has run off with my boyfriend... The father of my child... Sucks" I said in to the camera.

"it does suck... But it means we are both single again...Hey guys" James said to the camera "paisley has been offered a film role in which she may have to get naked... I for one think that is an excellent idea" James said dryly getting the giggles.

"I've not decided to do it yet" I said to the camera.

"but you should" James said.

"so... I have a feeling that your not going to be single for long Jamez?" I said drunkingly leaning my head his shoulder.

"I have that feeling too pais... Far too many beautiful girls out there" James said winking in to the camera. "hey what about you, maybe we could hook up?" He joked slinging an arm around me.

I got the giggles "we would be team paimes..." I laughed.

James smiled his brilliant smile "no my name has to go first we would be jamesley" he joked. "but of course you don't try and sleep with your best friends fella... Because what are you paisley?"

"nice?" I replied.

"that's right your nice, and you don't hate me" he said laughing

"I don't think kendall hates you..." I replied.

"no not kendall, Sheriden, Sheriden must hate me for doing it" he said.

"well she must fucking hate me to do it" I said still smiling then getting the giggles because I swore. "whoops maybe we could bleep that out" I said through fits of laughter.

James smiled, " its okay I'm sure I can make it better with a song" James said then put his glass of wine down and grabbed his guitar.

"what are you going to sing?" I asked puzzled.

"puddle of mud... Join in if you like pais" he said then turned back to the camera. "I would like to dedicated this song to my wife" he simply said then started playing his guitar and singing 'she fuckin hates me'.

It was a brilliant 'screw you' Sheriden moment. James and I even did a high five at the end before turning the camera off thanking everyone for watching.

James said he would put it on youtube if Ophelia didn't get handed over to me at ten tomorrow.

I started off sleeping in one of James' spare rooms with a very dizzy head, but after another tremor came we both fell asleep on the sofas down stairs with the dogs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sheridens story**

After our first official night together I suggested to kendall that we should get away from Los Angeles and go to San Diego, I had a beach house there that we could get away from it all in.

We left early to miss the rush hour and spent a really nice day together. I had gone passed caring what people thought of us and happily displayed my affection to kendall very publicly by holding hands, I even kissed him once, purposely in front of someone taking obvious photographs of us from a far, I felt very angry inside. I wanted to hurt James.

we went shopping. Kendall pushed Ophelia in her Pram while he still had an arm around my waist. It was very odd but I liked the feeling. We had lunch by the beach and got home to the beach house just before four in the afternoon.

We chilled out for most of the evening. Kendall said he would make us something to eat, but I said I wasnt really hungry. I hadn't had much of an appetite. And had lost a lot of weight in the last week. I was so stressed with everything and having this trial hang over my head was making things worth.

"is it okay if I give phee a bath?" I asked as she happily lay in my arms.

"yeah, what's the time?" kendall replied

"just gone five" I answered.

"already? Jesus today has gone so quick, yeah if you want to bath her go for it... Have you bathed her before?" He asked.

"no" I smiled waiting on his list of instructions.

"okay well I would use the sink in the kitchen or your back will die leaning over the bath Sheri... Use a face cloth on her head, she hates water on her face, and make sure when your drying her you get in all her little chunky ripples" he said.

I smiled "what's your Daddy saying about chunky ripples huh phee" I Said to Ophelia laughing.

"she can go to bed after that, it will be near enough six, I will make a bottle up for her" kendall said just as his mobile started ringing.

"its Logan" he said just before he answered it, once Logan had started speaking to him kendall went out on to the terrace to talk.

I ran Ophelia her tiny little bath in the kitchen sink, glad of kendalls advice to not use the bath tub, as holding her in the sink was tricky enough with my aching spine.

She really did hate water on her head, she screamed the place down. I wrapped a towel around her when finished and gave her a good dry, including her chunky ripples. I smiled at her. She was a little chunky thing. Completely gorgeous.

I got her changed in to her sleeper suit, and Kendall walked back in just as I was going to start making the bottle up for Ophelia.

"its alright Sheriden, I'll do that" he said taking the bottle from me.

"what did Logan say" I asked looking at kendall, he looked tense.

"he said that paisley is staying with him and would like to see Ophelia tomorrow" kendall explained.

"she changed her mind then, I thought she said she didn't want to see her or us again" I said pissed off

"she is fucking crazy isn't she! she doesn't know what she wants. stupid fucking bitch" kendall said kicking the bottom of the kitchen cupboard.

"Did Logan say anything about James?" I asked cautiously.

Kendal looked at me then pulled me in for a hug."no Logan didn't but James was there and spoke to me, said he was going to hire a lawyer for paisley to win full custody and he was starting divorce proceedings against you"

"what? Divorce already... Why is she talking about custody? she was the one that said she didn't want to see her, what kind of mother has she even been to Ophelia." I said feeling emotional giving Ophelia a kiss on the head as I cradled her in my arms.

"its because I said she couldn't see her tomorrow, I said Wednesday is fine, but Logan and James are in her corner having a moan" kendall said giving his own kiss to Ophelia on her head.

"so shall I pack our things up again if we are leaving tomorrow? This sucks I really enjoyed today" I said.

"no she can just wait until Wednesday Sheriden... She booked her self in to rehab without worrying about Ophelia so we can book a coupe of days away together and not worry about her" he said flatly.

"what about this custody shit kendall?"

"look I will call her, or call Logan and explain that I'm not wanting to take Ophelia away forever. I'm not. She was the one that moved out, so splitting up shouldn't be that hard for her to get used to" he said.

"I don't want any custody battles to start up kendall... Its still paisley isn't it" I said.

Kendall handed me ophelias bottle "did you want to give it to her?" He asked.

"I don't want to take all the fun jobs away from you" I smiled.

"you can either feed her or change her next pooey diaper" he smiled.

"I will take the bottle in that case" I laughed.

"Sheriden don't worry about paisley, I will sort everything out I promise. Are you sure you don't want anything to eat. I was going to grab some crap from the shop and veg out tonight, does that sound like a good plan or what?" He said.

I looked at him, I could see he meant well "baby I don't really eat junk food anymore... Its just for my back really, I try and keep myself as healthy as I can for the osteoporosis... Sorry"

"its okay just means more for me... How is your back? If your lucky I might give you a massage later" he winked.

I smiled at him "your so care free still aren't you, even after everything that's happened and everything that's going on, you still find the good in the bad" I said.

"that's because your the good in the bad" he replied. "get this one to bed, I will go to the store quick, and we can get cosy in front of the TV"

"okay, get me oranges... I love oranges" I replied.

"if the lady wants oranges then that's what she shall have" he smiled and gave both me and Ophelia a kiss then walked out the door. My heart swelled. Feeling part of this amazing little family was great.  
I did miss James though. I can't believe he was starting divorce proceedings already. I hadn't even spoken to him properly.

I put Ophelia down in her travel cot, she was asleep before her head touched the mattress.

I looked at my phone, I had several missed calls and a few texts but none from James.

I had one from Carlos that said 'shoo you're an idiot. I love you still. Here if you need me'.

I text James. Least he couldn't argue back at a text.

I wrote more of a letter than a text in the end.

Hey. I'm so sorry James. For everything. I have messed up so much this time. if I had of known the hurt I would of caused you then I would of wished me dead or that we never met too. I'm so sorry. I do miss you. I still love you. We need to talk. Im in San Diego. I will call by on Wednesday. I'm sorry James xox Sheri.'

Then pressed send.

I waited for a reply but I didn't get anything, my heart sank, I wondered what he was doing in that huge house all alone, and wondered how paisley was, so far away from her little girl. I bet she despises me now.

When kendall returned we watched some crap ancient movie on TV. Oddly enough he seemed oblivious to the real life happenings that were going on.  
My mind wouldn't shut them out so easily. I kept glancing at my phone but no reply from James.

kendall noticed me looking at my phone "Sheriden what's up... Your not you tonight, you've been happy all day and now you've kind of gone in to your self a bit" he said giving me a squeeze.

I layed down and leant my head on his lap. He brushed my hair flat with his hand.  
"nothing really, just the obvious. I think its because my mind has been preoccupied all day and now its got time to think its letting all the shit in." I replied honestly.

"what shit is it letting in?" He asked looking down at me on his lap.

"everything, I have this awful gutted feeling in the pit of my stomach, I can't stop thinking about James... I can't believe he is chatting divorce talk already" I sighed.

"Sheriden... Do you love me?" He said rubbing his thumb along one of my eye brows thoughtlessly.

"yes I do love you... Honestly I do" I replied.

"I love you too, and that is all we need." He assured me.

"I know but I can't just forget James" I replied.

"Sheriden what is gonna happen when James runs off with some twenty year old and gets her pregnant?" He said.

"kendall don't!"

"no honestly that's what he will do, he is probably shagging someone right now, it took him five minutes when you left last time and he had a different little slut every night... What will you do?" He said again.

"I don't want to talk about it" I said.

"Sheri im not trying to upset you, I'm just telling you what he will do. Its best to just draw a line and start afresh" he said.

I felt teary. "I can't draw a line because I haven't even ended anything with him properly. I need to speak to him... Christ knows how I will do that because he isn't even replying to my texts" I said with some tears rolling down my face.

"what do you think is causing the gutted feeling?" He asked.

"guilt?" I replied. "I just want to talk to him... Do you mind if I try and call him?"

"no I don't mind but I don't think it will make you feel better talking to him" he replied.

I walked out in to the kitchen and tried to phone James... I didn't have the balls. I didn't even know what to say to him if he did answer.

I walked back out to kendall, but he almost walked in to me as I left the kitchen.

"jesus you scared me!" I laughed.

"how did you get on... Short and sweet" he said.

"yeah I chickened out. I have no clue where to even start." I said

"good... I don't want you talking to him, I'm scared I will lose you" kendall whispered pulling me in for a kiss.

"I'm going to have to talk to him at some point" I said rubbing a hand through his hair.

"can I whisk you away to bed" he said kissing me again.

I didn't have sex with kendall last night. It didn't feel right, I wasnt one hundred percent it felt right now, I felt guilty for James, but now looking at kendall I felt guilty for him. I was torn, not being able to make any one happy.

"kendall... I'm..." I looked at him. His eyebrows raised high. Gorgeous dimples on his face. My heart ached.  
"I'm tired" I continued "I can't promise you anything fabulous" I smiled.

kendall laughed "I'm sure I can make something fabulous happen" he said placing some of my hair behind my ear and kissing my jaw line.

I smiled at him.

"in all my days Sheriden, I've never come across anyone prettier than you" he whispered then took my hand and led me towards the bedroom.

"kendall I'm going to grab a shower first" I said breaking contact with him and heading toward the bathroom.  
I didn't look back to see his response.

When I got out of the shower I walked in to the bedroom. kendall was in the kitchen eating whatever he had left over. I dried my self off. Checked on Ophelia who was oblivious to the world as she slept so peacefully, and got straight in to bed.

"are you naked under there?" Kendall whispered at the door as he walked in from the kitchen.

I grinned "I might be"

"come here" he said as he walked to the end of the bed.

I eyed him suspiciously with my sexy look. I knew exactly what he was after.  
"its like that is it Schmidt" I smiled.

"I think it is yeah" he said unzipping his fly on his pants.

I teased him so bad by uncovering myself slowly. Then crawled over to the end of the bed on all fours. Watching as he took in all the delights of my body.

"would you like me to suck on this" I said as I pulled his hard penis out of his pants.

"I think I would very much like that" he grinned in the dim lit room, as he stroked a hand along my body which was still presented to him on the bed on all fours.

I sucked on him and listened to his groans of pleasure. He was stroking his hand down my backside as he got carried away, he was thrusting him self in my mouth.

"your so beautiful baby" he whispered as his hands moved from my ass to underneath me and he cupped both of my breasts.

he pulled him self out from my mouth, and got fully undressed.  
he got on the bed and positioned himself behind me.  
"you love bending girls over" I giggled.

"I like feeling your tits in my hands as I fuck you from behind Sheriden" he said simply.

I knew this already, this was kendalls favourite position from when I was with him before.

I felt him enter me quickly. As promised he made a grab for one of my breasts but rubbed my clitoris with his other hand as we had sex.  
I was ashamed to admit it to even myself but I imagined it was James making love to me. I missed him so much.

I had turned kendall on a bit too much by sucking his cock that he didn't last long doing me from behind. Long enough to make me climax though.

I snuggled up to him after. I was so tired.  
"Sheriden you need to eat more" he said bluntly.

Kendall was always to the point when mentioning about my weight. He knew it was a touchy subject. But he never learnt to be subtle.

"Jesus kendall, your bed side chat gets worse" I mocked trying to make light of the conversation.

"you do though, I'm not having a go, but all you have eaten since yesterday is a tiny salad at lunch... Which you hardly ate and an orange. I worry about you" he said giving me a squeeze.

"I just can't eat when I feel so stressed that's all. I don't think I ate anything when I was in prison" I admitted realising that all I have eaten in the best part of a week is half a beetroot and feta salad and an orange.

"well it shows" kendall said bluntly.

I covered myself up tightly with the cover. I didn't like being too skinny, I knew my limit of what looked nice and what looked disturbing... James always brought the subject up delicately, or he would just feed me. It was never something we had to really talk about. If he noticed I wasn't right then he would take care of it, rather than kendalls approach of just having a go even though he said he wasn't, he was.

"I've got a lot on my mind kendall. I honestly can't eat when I'm stressed" I said quietly.

"but you can suck cock?" he chuckled.

I knew what he had just said was meant as a joke but it hurt my feelings. I wasnt used to being spoken to like this. It was alright for him, he could eat and drink whatever he liked and not put an ounce on. Both James and I only had to look at a cake and we would put on a pound or two, we worked hard maintaining good bodies... I missed James' beautiful tanned muscly body.

"I will get some carbs in me tomorrow" was all I replied.

"do you never eat normal food... Like pizza" kendall mused.

"not really pizza, I eat Italian though does that still count?" I said trying to lift the mood.

Kendall laughed "yeah I guess... Shall, we get some Italian takeaway in tomorrow night" he said.

"I can make us Italian, I don't eat takeaways" I said smiling.

"really? How can you not eat takeaways... I practically live off of them" he said.

"yeah but that's because you have been living pretty much as a single dad for the last few weeks" I reminded him.

"no" he laughed. "even when pais was about we lived off of take out" he admitted.

"how are you not 500 pounds then" I said joking.

Kendall shrugged " same as you aren't anorexic I guess... No idea" he clarified.

And there it was the anorexic word. "I'm not, or never have I been anorexic, or bulimic, or anything else... I'm normal and when I get stressed out I lose my appetite kendall, I don't bury my head in the sand and pretend everything is okay" I snapped then rolled over and tried my hardest to not let the tears escape that now stung my eyes.

Kendall just let it go, he knew he had taken it too far. He kissed the back of my head and layed down next to me.

I think he was used to paisley playing along with his arguementative attitudes. I however did not like them what so ever.

The next morning nothing was said about me eating, I ate some cereal and fruit for breakfast in front of him, then went to get myself and Ophelia dressed.

once ready I walked out of the bedroom with phee in my arms. I heard kendall talking to someone at the front door to the beach house

"no she doesn't want to talk to you" kendall said to the person.

"James?" I said running to the door, but it wasnt James. It was his mom.

"Cathy! What are you doing here?" I asked shocked.

"I was hoping to talk to you" she said flatly.

Kendall looked at me,  
"its fine kendall... Cathy come in" I said as kendall moved aside.

"is it okay if you give us a minute" I said to him.

Kendall just nodded then went and sat out on the terrace, I shut the door behind him.

"your not going to hit me are you?" I said to my mother in law.

"no Sheriden, no I'm not. James is sorry about throwing that bag at you" she said.

"he told you about that? I asked.

"course he did" she replied "the reason I came to see you is simply to say don't give up on your marriage Sheriden. James loves you, do you love him?" Cathy said.

I sat down at the little table in the open plan kitchen I still had Ophelia in my arms "of course I do, James was the one that told me to leave... I wanted to talk and sort it out"

"why are you here with kendall then?" She asked.

I looked at kendall through the patio doors. I sighed.  
"I like being apart of his little world" I simply said.

"but you've forgotten the pain and hurt that boy caused you... You've forgotten that it was James that helped you through it." She said.

"no I haven't forgotten, its just easier to forgive now Ophelia is here. It makes you realise what is important in life" I said.

"Sheriden... is it about having a child? Or is it about being so in love with kendall that your willing to throw your marriage down the drain" she said looking at phee

"I don't want to throw my marriage down the drain. I love James. I miss him so much. I was trying to call him last night but I couldn't think of the right words to explain"

"I've always got along with you Sheriden, even when you have made some terrible mistakes... Truly terrible, when James talks about you his entire face lights up. He doesn't want anyone else, he wants you. Explain everything to him... Kendall isn't for keeps Sheriden. directly you have an arguement with him what do you think is the first thing he will do" Cathy said.

"take Ophelia away" I replied.

"exactly. He has trapped you with visions of being in that Childs life. your not her mother Sheriden, you never will be... This is wrong and you know it is"

"what do I do?" I whispered. Tears running down my face.

"you go home and you talk to James" she said.

"I don't get how you still even want me in your family" I sobbed.

"I want the best for my son, he believes that's you... I don't hold grudges Sheriden, I know how much you love him and I know how easy it is to make mistakes like this." She said then gave my hand that was free a loving squeeze .

"I will see my self out" she said then left, I stayed sat at the table for a few minutes.

"what's going on Sheri" kendall said as he walked back in to the house.

"kendall I'm sorry. I love you, I do, and I love Ophelia but this is never going to work" I cried.

Kendall sat down on the chair opposite me.  
"that's why I didn't want you to talk to her... She has brain washed you" he said.

"no honey, you brain washed me, you filled me with all this hope of being something I'm never going to be. I can't be a mom to Ophelia. I wish I could but I can't" I said softly.

"paisley is not cut out for the job" kendall said.

"kendall listen to yourself, its paisley, she is my friend. My best fucking friend and look what we have done, she is ill kendall, that's all. She just needs time"

"so this is it then? Your running back to amazing James after a few days" he said

"kendall I need to talk to him... I'm sorry... This was a mistake. I'm going back to LA."

"well what about Ophelia? She needs you" he argued.

"no Ophelia needs paisley. You need paisley. We are like chalk and cheese now. I'm too different to how I used to be for you" I tried to explain.

"what the fuck does that mean? You're better than me because your worth hundreds of millions or whatever the total is now?" He hissed back.

"what? How has money got anything to do with this? Its not about money" I declared.

"oh Bollocks Sheriden, yes it is! Your saying your too adapted to your fancy lifestyle with James to mingle with the commoners" he said.

"kendall that was not what I was saying. We are just totally different, life has shaped us differently now, we don't fit together... Not like we used to" I said "its not like your exactly short of cash kendall. You just have kept your roots... Mine are gone"

"no yours are with James... You're just a cock tease Sheriden" he said.

I didn't know how to reply to being called a cock tease, from the start it was him that started this stupid affair.

I gave Ophelia a kiss then handed her back to kendall.

"I'm sorry if that's how you have seen me... an anorexic cock tease?" I finally replied then went in to the bedroom and packed my things. I called for a taxi whilst I chucked things on to my bag. I walked out to the kitchen again and left the spare key to the beach house on the table.

"I will see you in LA" I said as I gave him a kiss on the head as he now sat in a chair "take care getting home " I finished as I made my way to the door.

"Sheri I'm sorry" kendall called as I reached for the handle.

"I'm still going to be in San Diego until tomorrow, if you need me I will be at Cathys... I'm sorry too" I replied then turned and gave him a half smile, then left.


	11. Chapter 11

**Mackenzies story**

it had just gone 8 in the morning, paisley had just got in from staying at James'

"you look like shit" I said to a very hung over paisley.

"I feel like shit, I think I drank four bottles of wine last night... Did you feel all those shakes" she asked

"yeah! I hardly slept a wink. How are you feeling about everything today pais?" I asked

She rolled her eyes "same, I feel more in control now I guess, but I think its because I know I'm not doing all this on my own, you guys have been great. I felt so alone when Ophelia first came along... Silly really" she replied.

"yeah it is silly but you were really ill pais." I said just as Logan walked in to the kitchen.

"morning ladies" he smiled and gave me a kiss.

"what are you grinning about cheeky chops?" Paisley said to him.

"nothing... " he replied.

"he wouldn't let me go in to the salon today, says he has a gift for me" I said to paisley, but giving Logan a sexy scowl.

"mmmm, sounds like a wedding proposal to me kenz, look at him... He is all excited about something" paisley joked.

"I can assure you Reno that its not a ring, its much more fun than that" Logan said raising an eyebrow.

"did you call kendall again?" Paisley asked.

"I did Try last night but it went to voice mail. I can try again now if you like?" He replied.

"if you don't mind. I don't think I could hold the tears in if I spoke to him at the moment"

Logan gave paisley a one armed hug as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"logues put it on loud speaker" I suggested.

He did.

It rang and rang then finally kendall answered.

"what is it Logan?" Kendall answered his phone to sounding miserable.

"hey man, was just wondering if you are gonna make it for pais to see Ophelia" Logan replied.

kendall gave a sadistic laugh down the phone "now is not the best time logues" he replied.

"you okay bro?" Logan asked even though it was clear kendall was not okay, it sounded like he was crying

Silence filled the room as we all waited for kendall to speak.

"tell pais I will be back this evening, she can see Ophelia then" kendall said, his voice shaking.

"is there no way that you can get back before that, its just me and Kenzie have got to go out, obviously pais will want someone with her" Logan said looking at paisley who nodded, her eyes filled with tears.

"no I can't, I've got to see Sheriden" he replied.

"its not really relevent though is it, seeing Sheriden or a mother seeing her child... I thought she was with you anyway?" Logan said, I gave paisleys hand a squeeze as tears fell down her face.

"its important to me, she is still in San Diego with maslows mom, she doesn't want me... Same old fucking story. So pais can see Ophelia later... Or tomorrow, best I can do, tell her" kendall said now obviously in tears.

"tomorrow is fine" paisley said

"pais? I'm sorry I let you down" kendall said through his sobs .

"I'm sorry you did to" she replied. Then left the room.

"she's gone man" Logan said to the phone.

"okay" kendall simply replied.

"come over tomorrow, you two can have a chat yeah... Sort some stuff out" Logan said.

"thanks buddy" kendall said then hung up.

I walked out to find paisley who was Sat in the lounge crying, she was on the phone, I gathered to James.

"she is at your moms" paisley said .

"its good though" she then said.

"no tomorrow" she added "James just stop now, it won't do you any good in the long run... Do you want me to come round?" She finished then rolled her eyes and took the the phone from her ear.

"he hung up on me, he started drinking directly he woke up this morning, says he just wants to blank out for a few days. He is pissed off that kendall isn't dropping Ophelia off at ten... Oh shit!" Paisley said then scrambled to dial a number on her phone.

"what's the matter?" I asked as Logan walked in.

"shit he has turned it off" paisley said.

"what's the matter?" I asked again.

"fuck fuck fuck!... We did these stupid videos for youtube, James said he would put them on if I didn't get Ophelia at ten" she said.

Logan and I looked at each other.

"oh pais, what have you done" Logan said.

she rushed out to the kitchen where my laptop sat.

James had put some videos on. Paisley clutched her hands on her head as we watched them.

"to be fair pais they are pretty good. I don't think you've done yourself any harm. Puddle of mud is going to haunt James though" Logan said having a bit of a chuckle.

"oh God... I'm going to bed, am I in the cream room?" She asked.

"yeah, sleep tight" I laughed as she walked away to the stairs.

The morning went by pretty quick, Logan had warned me that my present was a lengthy drive away. After a good few hours in the car I was bored and eager to know what my gift was.

"can I wear it?" I asked

"no" Logan replied laughing

"is it pink?" I questioned.

"I hope not" Logan said

"is it big or small?" I asked.

Logan laughed hard " erm in the long term its big but its only tiny at the moment" he replied.

"is it a tree?" I asked completely confused.

"no baby its not a tree... We are almost there now anyway." He said.

I looked out the window, we were literally in the middle of no where, there was some farm land coming up.

"please tell me you haven't bought a farm... I'm not suited to tractors and stuff logues" I said now worried.

"Kenzie, don't worry, you are going to love this... I promise" he smiled.

We did drive in to the farm, Logan parked up outside this amazing house.

"its not the house is it?" I said looking for a sold sign.

Logan just laughed at me.

An elderly lady came out to greet us.

"Mr Henderson... And this must be your beautiful lady you have told me all about" she said shaking my hand.

I looked at Logan with a bemused look on my face, he chuckled.

"well let's not keep you in suspense any longer" she said then invited us in to the beautiful house.

We walked through to the back of the house and in to a large room.

"they must be in the garden, give me a minute and I will hunt them down... Take a seat" the lady said.

"logues what the fuck is going on?" I whispered once the old lady had gone out side.

"she is getting your gift" Logan said

The lady walked back in holding a jet black puppy.

I looked at Logan and gasped.

"oh my God, is that for me?" I smiled

The lady put the puppy on my lap

"what do you think then" Logan asked.

"I love her" I said.

"him!" Logan corrected me.

"I love him" I said.

"I got him for when I go on tour to keep you safe in that big house.. Not sure if there will be a tour now though, but he is yours if you want him" Logan said

"I absolutely want him, what is he a Labrador?" I asked.

The elderly lady laughed at me.  
"I will go and get his mom" she said

Again she walked out and came in followed by a ginormous beast of a dog.

"a great dane? Oh my God that's awesome... Logan this is brilliant. Thankyou" I said.

"my pleasure" he said giving me a kiss.

We chatted with the lady and saw the other puppies, then began, the long journey home in the car

"fox won't know what to make of him will he logues" I said all over excited, As the engine started

Logan smiled and stroked the puppy that sat on my lap "what are you going to call him, he is going to need an awesome name"

"what about tiney?" I joked.

"no way it will have to be something manly... Like brutus or duke" Logan said.

"erm what about ... genghis?" I said

"genghis Khan?" Logan laughed. "no way, he is a little heart breaker... Look at him Kenzie."

"he is adorable logues, Thankyou. Its a brilliant idea getting a dog" I said.

"I've been hiding a bunch of stuff for him for the last few weeks. Its all in my music room, I know you don't go in there."he chuckled.

"I can't wait to see it all baby" I beamed as I gave the puppy a hug, he smelt gorgeous, I couldn't even describe it.

"I wonder how sav is?" I asked.

"she will be fine Kenzie, I think Carlos guards her pretty well. He doesn't let her out of his sight... Just think that could of been you" Logan joked.

"I wouldn't of stuck it out with him this long, he bored me... You are exciting." I beamed.

"I like to think romantic too" he grinned.

"yeah you are very romantic... Logues I need to pee, your going to have to pull over" I said.

"you need to work on your romance" he chuckled as he pulled his car over to the side of the road.  
we were still in the middle of no where, just surrounded by vast fields.

I handed Logan the puppy and hopped out of the car.  
Once relieved I got back in to my seat realising Logan wasnt there. The puppy was asleep on Logans drivers side seat.

I looked out the window, I couldn't see him anywhere.  
"Logan?" I called

"Boo!" He screamed from behind me in the back seat.

"Jesus Christ! You almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing?"

"being romantic... And Exciting. Come here" he said pulling me over to the back with him.

once in the back seat Logan and I kissed for a while before he started tugging at my leggings to come down.

"you need a bigger car to do shit like this" I laughed as I pulled them down and then did my own tugging at his pants.  
I sat down on his lap, he entered me instantly.

Logan held on to my hips as I gently rocked on top of him.  
I had my arms around his neck and was very squashed, but it only added to the fun.

"I love you baby" Logan whispered as I felt him get harder inside me.

"oh my God I fucking love you" I screamed as I got completely carried away.

"are you gonna cum already?" Logan, chuckled.

"uh huh" I agreed "don't make me laugh, it puts me off" I smiled.

"come here then" he said pulling me in closer by my ass as he came too, feeling his hardness go even deeper in me.

"oh God Logan... Babe!" I screamed as i climaxed.

I rested my head on his shoulder laughing  
"you are too good logues" I chuckled holding my stomach.

Logan kissed the top of my head "I'm not finished yet... What's the matter with your tummy?" He asked.

"I have a stitch" I laughed.

"oh... Well doctor Henderson will fix you up" he grinned then pretty much pushed me off of his lap and laid me down on the back seat, my head practically hitting the inside of the door. Logan laughed at this.  
"sorry baby" he chuckled as he kneeled down with my legs hitched up around him.

"round two already then?" I laughed.

"you bet its round two already... You dirty little minx" he smiled.

Logan entered me, this time the sex was slower as he was in control,  
I could feel every inch of him in me, I was glad of the slowness seeing as my head was right up against the door, I had to put my hands up against it to push my self away from it everytime Logan thrust himself in me.

I bit my lip as I got in to it, Logan watched my face as he pleasured me, he just about had enough room to move, his head was bent at the neck as he reached the roof of the car.

"oh... my... God... Its a fucking miracle, I groaned"

Logan gave me his beautiful cocky grin as he penetrated me "what is?" He breathed out heavily.

I gave him a little chuckle, our sex was so at ease, really relaxed.  
"mmmm" I groaned, trying to keep my second climax in for just a little longer "its a miracle that you cured me doctor Henderson but your still sending me to heaven... Baby I'm gonna cum... Oh God!" I screamed.

Logan quickened his pace, but he came a few minutes after me.  
I was dead... Totally exhausted. Once our bottom halves were dressed again we cuddled up in the back seat, Logan had his arm around me.

"poor puppy... I think we have scarred him for life" I laughed as I realised the little baby dog just sat in Logans drivers seat was watching us.

"he's not scarred, he is a little dude, ain't you buddy... He will have to get used to sights like that" Logan laughed.

"oh my God!" I said smiling

"what? I'm hardly touching you , surely your not gonna cum all over my back seat again?" Logan sniggered.

I hit his arm "no! Silly, that's a great name for the dog"

"what 'cum on the back seat'? I think people may look at you oddly in the park shouting that out to the dog" Logan laughed at his own joke.

"your not sane are you logie? No I meant 'dude'. He can be called Dude... That's an awesome name" I said

"that is pretty awesome... He looks like a dude too huh" Logan agreed.

"I love you logie bear" I whispered resting my head on his shoulder.

"I love you too kenz... Your my world"

I took his hand in my own and gave it a kiss. "I have thought of another name" I said sleepily.

"I like dude... But humour me" he said.

"well your logie bear so..."

"Kenzie I'm not calling the dog booboo" Logan laughed.

I giggled at him "just a thought" I smirked.

"right let's get this love mobile moving again shall we, you look knackered baby... Let's get you home" Logan said unwrapping his arm from me then moving the dog on to my seat and climbing back through to the front.  
I was civilised and just opened the door and walked round to my front seat, and put Dude on my lap.

I fell asleep, Logan woke me up just as we pulled in to his driveway, it was late now.

We walked in to the house to find paisley curled up on the sofa with a box of tissues.

"pais what's happened?" I said sitting next to her, but all she saw was the puppy in my arms.

"awww how sweet, is that yours?" She sniffed.

"yeah this is Dude, he was my present...amongst other things" I said giving Logan a wink "why are you crying now?"

"oh those fucking earth quakes, there was another one, did you not feel it?" She explained.

"no we were miles away getting this little guy" I said.

"Logan I'm warning you now your kitchen ... Its going to need something doing to it" paisley said looking at Logan.

Logan frowned then walked out to the kitchen he flicked on lights as he went, I followed.

I couldn't see anything majorly wrong, a bunch of glasses had fallen from cupboards, paisley had left the broken bits in a box on the counter top.

"oh don't worry about that pais, things like that are easily replaced" Logan said trying to take the horrified look off her face.

"no not that... That!" She said pointing to the wall behind us next to the door we had just walked in.

"fucks sake!... Really?" Logan said pissed off.

Along the wall ran a crack from floor that was at least 2 inches wide.

"sorry logues, its just one thing after another with this house huh" paisley said.

"well... are you okay, it must of been a big one to do that?" Logan said.

"just shaken up, I was under the table but I saw that crack appear." She said. "then all the glasses started falling all over the place... Bad memories logues" she finished starting a fresh batch of tears. "it was big but I was surprised it done that"

"maybe its just dodgy plastering that's cracked from when it was re done after the fire" I said.

Logan took a good look at the crack, he could get his hand pretty much inside it. "no that's brick that's cracked in there, not just the plastering babe" he said.

"right okay... Pais I will sleep in the cream room, you can bunk in with kenz, then your not on ya own" Logan said.

"Logan!" I complained.

"I promised I would look after her" Logan said.

"yeah but what about me Logan?" I argued.

"okay we will all have a slumber party down here then" Logan decided.

Paisley smiled, I think she felt safer in logans company than mine, as I did too


	12. Chapter 12

**sorry its taking a while to post these on, ive shot myself in the foot a bit by not having any knowledge of certain things that are happening in the story, so ive been stuck googling a ton of facts which takes aaaageeesssss.  
here is a couple of chapters to tide you all over xmas... cliff hanger at its best! happy xmas everyone xxx**

**sheridens story**  
I was just on my way back to Los Angeles after spending the night at my mother in laws house in San Diego. Kendall tried to talk me round several times. He was in a complete state, I hope he got home okay last night.

As the taxi got nearer to bel air I phoned James. His mum had spoken to him a couple of times for me. He promised he would talk to me.

The phone rang

"Sheri?" Answered a very gruff voice.

"hey James... I'm just letting you know I'm almost home... At your house... Well I'm almost at bel air okay" I said softly.

"okay, I'm not in yet... You got your key?" He asked.

"um yeah... I think so. You okay? you sound so rough" I said

"just had a few too many to drink last night... I'm at Logans, just waiting with paisley for kendall to show up... If he shows up. He was meant to be here half hour ago"

"James why are waiting for him? Please don't do anything silly" I begged.

"I just want to talk to him... He at least owes me an apology" James husked down the phone.

"James are you drunk?" I asked

"yeah I might be... Still" he agreed.

"okay, I will go to Logans, this is ridiculous" I snapped then hung up.

Once the taxi dropped me off charging the extortionate cab fare from San Diego, I noticed James' car in the drive to Logans house.

What was he doing driving while he was drunk.

I knocked on the door and took a deep breath.

Mackenzie answered with a puppy in her arms.  
"hi" she said as she let me in.

"he is cute" I said giving the dog a quick pat.

"thanks... Sheriden, James is in there but pais is with him... I'm not sure this is a Good idea you being here... Paisley is just starting to get back to normal, she doesn't need you beating her down" Mackenzie said

"I'm not going to beat her down, I'm scared kendall is going to lose the plot with James... He is... Broken" I admitted. "if James thinks kendall is just going to take a punch then its going to get ugly, and I don't want either of them in hospital" I explained.

"oh great" Mackenzie said sarcastically.

I walked through to see James and paisley sat on the sofa. Paisley looked on edge.

"hey... I'm sorry" I said more to paisley than to James.

Paisley just shook her head slowly, ignoring me.

"James?" I said softly wanting some recognition from him.

James sat there for a while, I guess thinking out his next move, but he finally got up and walked over to me then pulled me in for a tight hug. He smelt of booze, not his usual amazing aroma that he had.

"I love you" he whispered.

I broke down in tears, "I love you too... I'm so sorry... " I sobbed.

He held my head in close to him. "shhh" he whispered "we will get through this Sheri" he said softly.

I looked up at him with my tear filled eyes "really... I want that. I so want that, I love you so much James"

I looked at paisley over james' shoulder, she didn't look shocked that James was back in my arms, I guess they must of talked through what the plan of action was for today.

I gently pulled away from James then sat next to paisley on the sofa.  
"I know you won't ever forgive me paisley. I made a huge mistake, I got caught up more with my feelings for Ophelia than I did for kendall... I'm sorry, I've lost my two best friends now because of that"

paisley looked me in the eye  
"as far as I'm concerned you've lost Ophelia too. I don't want you anywhere near her. If you are truly sorry for what you have done, and what you have caused then you will stay out of her life... Your poison Sheriden" she said then turned her head away.

"i adore that little girl pais but how ever much it hurts me to say this, I agree. I won't tarnish her life by being a part of it. I am poison... I will regret what I've done for the rest of my life" I whispered.

Paisley didn't talk again.  
"Sheri come on... You've said your peace" James said and held his hand out for me to take, to get up from the sofa.

The doorbell chimed.

"please don't do anything stupid" I said to James trying to sum up how drunk he actually was.

"I just want to talk to him... Honest" James replied.

Mackenzie brought kendall in to the room, he held phee in his arms. Logan followed closely behind him, I noticed Logan give paisley a reassuring smile.

the first thing kendall clocked was me and James attached at the hand, he then handed Ophelia to paisley. She gave her a huge cuddle and a kiss on the forehead.  
She really looked like she was back on track with things.  
"mommy missed you so much" she whispered to Ophelia. I almost heard my own heart break at her words.

kendall then looked at paisley.  
"pais can we chat before I leave her with you" he said softly

Paisley nodded.

"could you take phee for a minute" kendall asked Logan.

"sure" Logan replied.

"hang on... Sheriden needs to say her goodbyes to my daughter, this is the last time she will be seeing her. I'm not cold hearted enough to deny her a goodbye." Paisley said just louder than a whisper.

Kendall looked at me as paisley handed Ophelia in to my arms. Tears poured down my face as I gave her a kiss.

My heart then most definitely broke in to a thousand pieces as I handed her back to kendall, the entire room was silent.

Kendall then gave Ophelia to Logan who looked very emotional himself.  
"i'll take her in to the garden... Just shout when your ready pais okay" Logan said then left with Mackenzie who still clutched the little dog leaving the four of us in the room.

"James wants to talk with you quickly" paisley said to kendall.

Kendall looked up at James. Both boys looked defeated and tired.

"what?" Kendall said to James.

"in private?" Was all James replied.

"whatever" kendall agreed following James out of the room.

I looked at paisley,  
"thankyou for doing that, letting me say Goodbye" I said quietly.

"I did it to hurt you so you can remember that feeling for the rest of your life... The goodbye was more for my daughters sake than yours" she said.

"I deserved it pais... I hope you and kendall can get past this. He does love you. He just hasn't coped with your illness" I replied.

"did he say that? He said he still loves me?" She said.

"yes" I lied.

A smile crept over her face "I love him Sheriden... So much" she said

The ground started shaking

"shit not another one" paisley said.

The entire floor was shaking, I had never experienced anything like this before.  
"Sheriden get on the floor!" Paisley screamed as things were flying all over the place.

I was unable to move my body, paisley crawled towards me on the floor.  
"get the fuck down before you fall down" she yelled pulling on my hand.

I did as I was told and kneeled down on to the floor.

Paisley was crying, she still had hold of my hand. "get under" she said trying to push me under the coffee table that sat in Logans living room.

"I will be fine" I said confused.

"if something hits your back your fucked Sheriden, get under it" she said.  
I slid myself under the coffee table just as a huge wall length shelving unit came crashing down, it narrowly missed paisley but it would of finished me off if I hadn't of got under the table. I still held on to paisleys hand, both of us now in tears through fear.

"hold on to the table Sheriden" she shouted as we both tried to keep in one piece.

I heard a huge creak and a wall came half in near the door that I walked in just a few moments before.

Paisley scooted herself around the other side of the table just incase the wall came completely down.

I heard the TV crash down behind me. I let out a scream.

The shaking just got worse. I could see the wall slowly coming down,  
"paisley get under" I said.

"there isn't enough room. I'm fine here... I'm fine here" she said more trying to convince herself than me.

I saw one brick fall from the wall then the entire side came caving in. We both screamed, I scrambled away from under the table and moved toward the window.  
"Sheriden no!" paisley said trying to grab my hand, I then saw the large oak mirror come tumbling down towards my head, and it all went blank...

"Sheriden? Sheriden?" I heard, I opened my eyes and tried to take in my surroundings. The room was dark, I wondered where the light from the window had gone. I coughed as dust filled the room.

"pais?" I spluttered out. her hand was in mine but I couldn't move my arm what so ever. I was covered in glass and blood.

"paisley wake up please" I sobbed.

The mirror was covering pretty much all of her body, the corner of it must of struck me on the head.

"Sheriden?!" I heard again.

"kendall?" I screamed back. "are you okay, where's James.

"he's okay he is outside, we are trying to get you out okay, is paisley okay?

"I don't know, I can't see her underneath all this crap, what happened? how did the wall come down... Where's phee... Jesus is she okay?" I questioned.

"phee is fine Sheri, listen to me, the wall in the kitchen came down and pretty much brought most the house with it, I need you to only move what you have to okay... Else the entire place is gonna fall in on you guys." Kendall said.

I started crying.  
"Sheri come on... Everything is just fine we just need to get you out of there quick okay"

"where are you, I can't even see you" I cried.

"I'm here at the doorway, I can see you, look." He said I then saw the top of a hand waving at me, I tried to lift my head off of the floor, I just about saw his face.

"Jesus kendall, I think I've broken my arm, I can't move it" I sobbed "it hurts so much.

"Sheriden do you know where paisley is?" He asked.

"yeah she is here, her hand is holding mine but she is knocked cold out, the fucking mirror is on her!" I said trembling.

"she just knocked out yeah...she not..." Kendall said his voice shaking.

"no I can see her shoulder moving with her breathing, she is fine." I said

"okay try and move all that shit off of you, then get the mirror off of her, do it slow" he said.

I pulled my battered body up with my working arm, carefully removing all manner of objects that had landed on me. As I sat up I felt a searing pain run through my hip. I screamed.

"I can't move... I can't move... Jesus... It hurts so fucking much... I can't move I'm going to be stuck in here forever" I sobbed.

"no Sheri your not, look your sat up now, try and get paisley free... Please" kendall said, I could see him now from the light in the hall, he had blood running down his face.

"your bleeding, are you okay?" I said.

kendall gave a small chuckle, "courtesy of your husband not the quake" he smiled

I tried moving the mirror off of paisley. It was so bloody heavy.

"kendall I can't move it by myself can't you get in?" I said starting to cry.

" I have tried Sheri but that started to come in, I don't want it coming down on you" he said looking up, I looked up to the ceiling, or what used to be the ceiling, it was just chaos now. Timber and plasterboard, amongst with whatever furniture leaned down from upstairs through gaps in the house.

"kendall I'm scared" I whispered,

"Sheri its all going to be fine, help is on its way, but its madness out there, someone will be here soon though okay" he soothed.

"she is moving" I said looking at paisley who moved her arms.

"pais, are you okay?... Pais?" I whispered.

She tried lifting the mirror off but screamed in pain.

"kendall please help me get it off her" I begged listening to the awful screams coming from paisley.

"okay, I'm coming... Pais I'm here" he said trying to make his way through rubble and furniture, whilst keeping his eyes firmly on the ceiling.

"Sheri if you lift it I should be able to grab the other side. You ready?" He said

"yeh one. Two. Three lift" I said then gently lifted the huge mirror off of paisley which revealed more harm than good.

"oh my God" I said shocked looking at a large shard of glass from the mirror stuck in paisley side.

Paisley turned to look at me, she saw the glass sticking in to her  
"kendall?" She said looking at me

"I'm here pais you okay?" He said

"yeah I'm fine... " she said softly looking at me, kendall couldn't see the glass.

"where is Ophelia?" She asked.

"she is just out side pais, she is fine, waiting for a cuddle from her mommy" he replied.

Paisley smiled with some tears running down her cheek.

"kendall maybe you should try and get back out, I don't want that ceiling coming down on you" I whispered looking at paisley.

"Sheriden I can reach you, the hallway is safer..." He said.

I looked at paisley.  
"go" she whispered.

"I will ride it out til help arrives" I said taking paisleys hand with my own only working one.

Kendall backed out slowly of the room, again looking up at the ceiling.

"Sheriden pull it out" paisley whispered.

"no it will make it worse" I said back

"please take it out" paisley begged

"what's going on?" Kendall asked.

"kendall paisley has got glass in her" I revealed.

"badly?" He asked.

"pretty bad yeah" I said crying.

"okay I'm coming to get you out pais" kendall said working his way back through the rubble.

"kendall be careful" I said

"where is everyone else kendall?" Paisley said as he worked his way through.

"James?" I called

"Sheriden, James is fine... Just leave him, he is outside" kendall said.

"where's Logan and kenz?" I asked,

"they are outside too. Girls don't worry we will get out okay" kendall said still getting closer to us.

I looked at kendall, he gave me the look to say not all was great.  
"what's going on kendall?" I coughed out as dust caught my throat.

"we are trapped in... Until the fire department get here, its been over an hour now" he said quietly.

"an hour? Jesus!" I said just as paisley let out another scream as she quickly removed the glass that was in her side

"fuck pais what have you done?" I said now looking at blood pouring out of her.

"paisley? Baby... Oh my God" kendall said as he moved rubble out of his way to get to her.

"pais what have you done?" He sobbed.

"I didn't want it in me" she sobbed.

I placed my hand on the wound that was now bleeding out.

Kendall reached us, he cleared the area in which we lay stranded. He put paisleys head in his lap.

"shit baby... Look at you" he said.

I looked at paisley, she looked awful, her skin and lips pale.

"do I look ugly?" She said with a weak smile, she seemed woozy.

"no pais your beautiful, your so God damn beautiful, I love you paisley..." He said sweeping her black hair back from her face.

" kendall you need to get her out of here! Is there no way out at all?" I said.

"I can't get in to the other rooms, the kitchen is completely collapsed and the stairs is filled with shit. The front door is... I can't even find it Sheri... Its just us... What do we do? I can't lose her Sheriden." He cried.

"we... We hang on. Hold the wound. Stop the blood... Jesus paisley you have a beautiful little girl out there waiting to see you... Don't you fucking die on me" I said then realised she wasn't concious anymore.

"pack it" I said

"what?" Kendall asked.

"pack that cut with something, put pressure on it. She has lost a shitload of blood kendall... I'm sat in it " I said.

"is she going to die Sheri?" He sniffed.

"course she isn't honey... Paisley is a fighter. She needs to hang on that's all" I said.

kendall nodded "your arm is dislocated not broken, I can see it in your shoulder" he said.

"it kills" I said

"why are you even here, you should be safe at home in bel air Sheri" kendall whispered.

"I was worried that you would try and kill James... He is okay isn't he?" I asked.

"he is fine, he punched me in the face then walked out just as the shaking started. I was lucky to get out of the kitchen alive I think" he said looking at paisley.

"I'm so glad you did" I said tears escaping my eyes.

we sat in silence for a while, listening to the goings on outside, I could here shouting, and things moving around. I even heard Ophelia cry, kendall smiled at me, funny how hearing a child cry is some how a joyful moment in a time like this.

Paisley came in and out of consciousness.

"Sheriden your not poison" she whispered out to me. "please be in ophelias life... Your a good person... I forgive you ... you were a great friend" she said

"don't you do that! Don't you say your goodbyes. Your going to be fucking fine, I want you to hate me paisley, I want you to live and hate me for fucking ever" I said

"I don't hate you... Your you, that is the kind of shit you do.. Remember what You said to me, that me and you aren't so different, our backgrounds and our dreams. You were right Sheriden. Ophelia needs you if I don't get out of this" she murmured.

"paisley try and keep your energy" kendall said tearfully seeing that she was slipping away.

"I love you" she whispered to him.

"I love you too pais, when we get out of here we are gonna run off and get married and have a load of little brothers and sisters for Ophelia... I promise baby... I love you so much" he sobbed.

paisley smiled, her teeth were stained with blood.  
"do you remember when we went to Paris... You slipped up out side that shop... That was funny" she chuckled.

"how can I forget, landed on my shoulder, I didn't find it funny though did I!" He smiled down at paisley who lay in his lap.

"you didn't talk to me for an hour" she replied still smiling " I love you, tell Ophelia I love her... I'm going to rest for a bit now" she whispered then was gone again.

Kendall cried "oh my God she is going to die... Sheri we need to get out of here... No one is coming are they?" he sobbed.

"help me up and I will try and reach the window" I asked.

"Sheri its too risky, if you move any of that it could all come down on us" he said.

"just help me up... Be careful with paisley. take your jacket off and keep her warm... Here take this" I said trying my hardest to shrug out of my cardi that I had on. "rest her head on it"

Kendall did as he was told. Once he was stood up he tried to help me up on my feet.  
I screamed my head off in pain." I think I've broken my hip" I cried.

"really? Shit Sheriden. Okay let's ease you back down" he said.

"no... No I will put the weight on the good side. I need to clear this kendall. give me a hand, I will pass it to you."

I handed him a load of stuff, and could see the window now, but still no daylight shone through it.

"I don't understand" I said looking out to darkness.

"its the top of the house... I told you most of it came down, we are completely caved in" kendall sighed

"have you got your phone on you? I asked.

"yeah I've spoken to Logan, they are waiting for the fire department" he said.

"can I use it" I said softly.

"sure" he said handing me the phone.

I dialled James' number

"is she awake yet?" James cried down the phone.

"James its me, I'm awake" I sobbed.

"Sheri... Baby. Are you okay? I love you Sheri" he cried.

"I love you too James... Listen to me, we can't wait for the fire department to get here, paisley has a deep cut, she needs to be seen now. Is there no way you can clear a path to the window, that's where we are, just next to Logans living room window... James we need to get her out" I said.

"I can try, its pretty fucked out here Sheri. The house is still falling... Logues is beside himself, he feels guilty that you are all in there" James replied.

"its not his fault. I love you James, I'm gonna go"

"I love you... Be safe baby... Please" he said then hung up.

"should we move her? Like sit her up?" I said looking at paisley.

"I think she is okay how she is... She is really bad huh Sheri" kendall said trying to ease me back down on to the floor. I cried like a baby in pain.

Paisley woke up "kendall where are you?" She whispered.

"I'm here pais, we just cleared a way out, just got to wait for them to do the same outside and we will get you fixed up and home in time for bed" he said sitting back on the floor and gently placing her head in his lap.

"I feel so dizzy" she replied.

"you will be fine pais... I promise" kendall said

paisley moved her hand up and took hold of his "I don't think I'm going to be fine" she whispered

"don't talk shit. Yes you are" kendall replied.

"tell Logan that 'because of you' is for him" she mumbled.

"what? What are you talking about... Paisley you can tell Logan yourself when your out of here" kendall said.

I looked at paisleys face, she was so pale now.

"kendall ..." I said.  
Kendall looked at me. He knew she wasnt going to make it through this just like I did.

"paisley would you like to talk to Logan... On the phone, you could tell him yourself" I said softly just as some rubble fell in from the ceiling above us.

She nodded.

Kendall stayed still waiting for the roof to steady itself again then dialled the number on his phone and put it on loud speaker for paisley.

"kendall how is it in there?" Logan answered.

"not great" kendall said sobbing.

"Logan paisley wants to talk to you" I explained " your on loud speaker, she can't get to the phone honey... Logues... Make it count" I said hearing an emotional breath of air choke Logans throat as he realised what this phonecall was.

"Reno? What is it baby girl?" Logan said, I could hear the tears escaping him.

"logues... I'm sorry... I fucked up" she whispered.

"oh God... Pais you didn't fuck up your brilliant, a catastrophe waiting to happen as always but I love you. Don't leave me Reno please" Logan sobbed

"Logan the song on youtube 'because of you'... Its for you... I love you too logues. Mates for life yeah?" She said as calm as day. Paisley knew she was going to die, how was she so calm?

"mates for life" Logan repeated

"logie... when she is old enough tell Ophelia about all the dumb stuff we got up to. That tour was the best time of my life being stuck on that bus with you guys... You all saved me... Tell James Thankyou. Tell him to look after Sheriden cause she is a pain in the ass" she said with a small chuckle.

"I will... Jesus I will... Paisley please..." Logan begged. But paisley didn't hear him.

"Logan she is sleeping again now" I said my voice shaking not sure if she was just sleeping or not.

Kendall was crying his eyes out, his face up against hers.

"help her princess... Please" Logan said.

"honey we are trying... See you soon okay." I said then hung up just before my own uncontrollable tears hit me.

Apart from the noise outside and the occasional creak from the falling structure of the house, Silence filled the room for several minutes, both kendall and I listening to the same thing. Paisleys breathing. I'm not sure what I would do if it stopped.

A bright streak of light suddenly entered the room, both kendall and I turned to the window.

"James?" I called.

"hello?" Came a voice that wasnt James. "guys I'm gonna get you out from there, but I need to break through this glass okay, cover yourselves, close your eyes... Do you understand?" He called.

"yes" kendall replied. He sat up and tucked both mine and paisleys head under his chest facing away from the window.

A huge bang came at the window pane, then another, then another which finally broke through the double glazed glass.

Kendall got up, "I need to get my girlfriend out she had lost a load of blood" he said to the fireman.

"okay what's your name buddy?" the fireman said

"kendall, that's Sheriden, and paisley... She is hanging on by a thread" kendall replied.

"okay kendall, my name is guy, is paisley able to walk?" He said shining a light on paisley who I realised was now awake.

"I don't think so," kendall informed him.

"that's fine, right I'm going to need you to lift her up slowly and pass her over" guy said.

Kendall once again did as he was told and carefully picked paisley off of the floor, he gave her a kiss. "I love you" he whispered to her as he helped her through the window.

"I'm going to get her out then be back for you two next okay" guy said then took paisley away through a small tunnel like gap that had been made through the rubble outside.

Kendall helped me up on to my feet.  
Just as I was up some of the roof came in.  
"I think the fireman came just in time huh" I said.

"yeah I think so... Come here" Kendall said giving me a gentle hug and having a cry on my shoulder.

the fireman was back at the window  
"right who is next" guy said.

"Sheriden" kendall said but as he tried to lift me the pain was unbearable.

"I can't do it. Kendall you go," I said.

"I'm not leaving you in here Sheriden" kendall said.

"kendall come out with me then I will come back for Sheriden with a spinal board and another pair of hands to help her out, okay?" Guy said.

Kendall looked at me

"go on, I will be fine" I whispered.

"love you Sheri... See you outside okay!" he said giving my face a gentle stroke with his hand.

I slumped myself back to the floor as kendall climbed through the window.

Another creak came, I looked up and saw what was left of the ceiling dipping down.

Guy came back and climbed through the window.

"Sheriden this is Will" he said pointing to the other Fireman that was outside the window.

Will handed guy the spinal board, the last time I was in one of these things was on top of a ski slope in Colorado with my broken back.

Guy eased me on to the board and strapped me in.

Will came in through the window to help lift me, just as he got one leg over the window sill the entire room started shaking, the ceiling started to come in, a large wooden beam came crashing down first.

"get back out! Aftershock" Guy shouted to will.

"unstrap me! Please God, get me off this thing" I begged stuck to the spinal board unable to run, unable to move.

The last thing I heard was a thundering bang and the yell of a fireman.


	13. Chapter 13

**this will prob be the last post that i will put on untill after new year. the story is finished and set in stone it just needs to be written out xxx thanks for reading xxx**

**Savannahs story**

The day of our boat trip had arrived, Carlos and I were up before five this morning.

He had packed a manner of different things in a picnic basket.

Once on the boat and Carlos had set sail I finally began relaxing.

"how did you learn to drive a boat anyway?" I asked.

Carlos smiled at me "you sail a boat savs. my grandad used to be a fisherman, he took me and my brothers out on his trawler a lot when we were little... Its more knowing about the ocean than the boat" he said.

"it suits you all of this though... Its a bit James bond isn't it" I said

"I guess... Our lives are madness" he replied.

My phone sounded a message alert,  
I looked at it. it said I had a missed call.  
"That's odd I didn't hear it ring" I said

"I doubt reception is great out this far" Carlos replied.

My phone bleeped again telling me I had a voicemail.

I listened to it then had to sit down.

Carlos turned to look at me from his seat that he steered the boat from.  
"what's up savannah?" He asked.

"that was the detective from the police station, he said that another two girls have come forward claiming croft sexually assaulted them" I whispered.

Carlos moved and sat next to me, he threw an arm over my shoulders.

"Los they have arrested his brother, Matthew Croft from the description that I gave, they think he is the other guy that attacked me... They've got him Los" I said holding in tears.

Carlos gave me a big squeeze,  
"they can't hurt you anymore savs" he replied

"I hope he rots in hell" I whispered.  
I collected my thoughts we had only been on the boat for a couple of hours I didn't want this shit hanging over our heads ruining our day  
"Carlos let's just forget about all this until we get back on dry land yeah. I want to enjoy this, I don't want those bastards spoiling it" I said giving him a kiss.

"okay, its up to you but if you wanna chat about any of it at any time then just say yeah?" He said kissing me back.

Carlos sailed us out in to the middle of the ocean, there wasn't another boat in sight, it was turning in to a beautiful day, the seas were calm.

"are we sleeping on here tonight" I called out as I had a good look around and opened the door to the cabins.

"yeah I was planning to... They are small aren't they, If you want to sleep in separate ones that's cool" he replied.

I walked back out, Carlos was just preparing lunch "it wouldn't be very romantic if I was in a separate bed would it." I smiled.

"I guess not... So what did you want to do after lunch, swimming or sunbathing...or maybe something else?" He smiled a cheeky grin.

My face fell. That was the first time Carlos had casually mentioned wanting sex... I didn't know what to reply.

"you okay?" He said looking at my face

"yeah you just took me by surprise saying that, that's all" I replied.

"saying what?"

"that you want sex?" I said softly.

"what?" Carlos laughed "savannah I didn't mean sex when I said something else... Come here" he said pulling me up from my seat and walking me out on to the deck.

"there is your something else" he chuckled pointing at an arsenal of fishing equipment.

I laughed with relief "fuck, I'm sorry Los. I don't know what I was thinking"

"you was thinking about sex" he laughed

"I guess I was" I smiled.

"come on, let's eat and we can do all three" Carlos smiled.

"is fishing boring?" I asked

"no its really fun... You will see" he said.

As the day went on, we did do all three, Carlos laid a blanket out for us to sunbath on, there wasn't much left of the day though but I treated him to the sights of my bare breasts as I soaked up the sun.

"Los I love the boat" I revealed

"it's cool huh, I knew you would like it... How has today been for you so far romantically then?" He asked.

"romantically I think this is my favourite part" I said putting my bikini top back on.

"how come?" He asked

I snuggled up to him on the blanket "being cuddled up with you watching the sunset... Romance at it's best" I whispered then gave him a kiss.

"this is pretty amazing sav. I love you" he whispered back then kissed me in his amazing seductive way.

I enjoyed the kiss, I layed down letting him take control of the situation, he kissed from my lips to my neck, scattering me in tiny kisses of heaven.

I held on to his neck pulling him in close, i felt his hand gently caress my stomach.

I ran my hand down his strong shoulders.  
"Carlos I think this is it now. I really want to try... Make love to me" I whispered.

"okay... Let me just..." He sat up slightly and collected my hair in his hands and twisted it in to a pile above my head where I lay.

"don't want to make the same mistake twice" he smiled

"thanks Los" I said pulling him in for another kiss.

"you sure you want this sav" he whispered.

"I want you Los" I breathed back.

Carlos nodded then ran his hand over my shoulder pulling my bikini strap down. He kissed my shoulder. He felt so gentle.

He sent goose bumps all over my body as he then run his hand down my side.

I unclipped the bikini top and Carlos removed it from my body. He hesitated over my breasts, unsure if he was welcome to touch them.

I guided his hand in the end, I didn't want to keep talking, keep having to say yes he can do that, that's not what a healthy sexual relationship is about. So a gentle guide in the right direction seemed the better approach.

Carlos appreciated this though, he was nervous, I could tell. He was trying his best to treat me normally yet still trying to spare me any discomfort.

Once Carlos had undressed me, he took his swim shorts off.  
I was too scared to look at him last night, but I took in the sight of his gorgeous body in the fading sunlight.  
He was amazing. from head to toe he was beautiful. He was very pleasing to my eyes.

Carlos lay on top of me, he kissed me on the lips "your perfect savannah... This is perfect, right here and now" he whispered. "are you ready?" He asked

I nodded and he placed himself inside of me gently. He looked more scared than I felt, but it felt nice, not rushed, or rough, just nice.  
"I love you Carlos" I whispered.

He smiled "I love you too baby girl" he replied.

Carlos' love making was just like his kisses, slow and attentive. I had never had sex like this before, but this was perfect. My body could react with what his was doing because every move was  
Subtle and slow. This was perfect. I don't know why I had been so scared. My Carlos was so caring, he always had been.

Carlos kissed me the entire time, his hands careful not to make any quick movements, he felt my thighs as he pulled my leg up towards him.

He felt amazing inside me

"you okay?" He said softly

"I'm okay" I replied.

I didn't think I would climax, I had had a lot of sex in my life, but not once had I cum from having intercourse, it was always from being touched or orally but I got the feeling Carlos wasn't giving in until I had.  
Once I realised I wasnt just waiting for him to finish I relaxed and actually enjoyed myself, Carlos was an amazing  
Lover, he knew the right buttons to press, I was pretty shocked when I felt I was at the point of no return, Carlos gave me an amazing orgasm, truly amazing, it felt so deep inside me, taking over every inch off my body.

He let himself relax after he knew he had completed his task of pleasing me and he let out his sexy moan of pleasure. It was a beautiful sound.

after, we cuddled up on the deck under a blanket and watched the sun go down.

"penny for them?" He said looking at me as I stared in to space.

"sorry... Just taking all this in... Thankyou Los" I whispered and snuggled in further in to his warm chest as the night breeze got chilly.

"was it all okay?" He asked

"yep it was all just what I needed. I'm looking forward to the next time" I giggled and kissed his chest.

"I'm pleased, savs you mean so much to me... I wonder how all the others are getting along. Funny how one part of your life can go so great then the other part always seems to fall apart."

"I don't know, it's fucked if Sheriden and kendall are a thing now... She must be mad to give all that up" I replied.

"she wants children so bad doesn't she, do you think you should call Kenzie, time to make amends with her. I don't like causing a divide between you two, I know how close you used to be" Carlos said.

"she talks to you like shit though Los"

"yeah but I used to trash talk her all the time... I deserve what she says to be fair. I did almost kill Logan" he said softly reliving the horrible memories that he had.

"I can't imagine you ever getting like that you know, your so fucking chilled all the time" I replied.

"I know, I don't know what came over me, she gave me chlamydia that she caught off of Logan... I was pissed off" he explained.

"yeah you did tell me" I said not wanting to think about my sister having sex with my husband.

"sorry... What do you think is going to come next for us then? He said changing the subject.

"hopefully I become the next Sheriden Lloyd and you become ... shit, what are you going to do if btr are finished?"

"Act, not sure if the whole solo thing will suit me" he said

"your voice is fucking lovely Carlos, it's... I dunno... kinda husky and sexy, I think your the best in the band. I'm not just saying that"

"what's the story with all this swearing you do... If I had a dollar for every time I heard you say fuck I could of retired 5 years ago" he laughed.

"I'm not sure really, just habit. I've always spoken my mind. I've never been scared of anyone or anything, until what happened of course. But people listen when you swear at them" I explained.

"you did well in front of my parents" he laughed.

I laughed too "I'm glad you appreciate the effort... It was hard" I giggled.

"well if someone had of told me a year ago that I would soon be married to an 18 year old girl I hardly knew, and setting sail with her on my yacht while Sheriden practically pulls my band apart, I think I would of told them to fuck off" Carlos laughed.

"it's crazy... But I love it... And I love you Carlos. I mean it. you are really meant for me you know"

"I love you too savannah" he replied just as the last ray of sun hid behind the ocean.


	14. Chapter 14

**Mackenzies story**

Paisley had just been pulled out of the rubble, she was put directly in to an ambulance and taken away.

The scene out here was madness, the entire neighbourhood was out trying to help move bricks and debris that had collapsed from the house.

Logans was the only home that I could see that this had happened to. I didn't understand. As far as my knowledge of houses went I knew that newly built properties had to have certain structural laws that prevented this type of thing from happening in earthquakes.

All I could do was watch in horror. Logan had gone in the ambulance with paisley, he was a complete mess after receiving a phonecall from her. He told me she wasn't coming out alive.

Kendall was next to come out. He was still walking and talking, James ran up to him  
"where's Sheriden" he cried.

"they are going back in now, she can't walk, has paisley gone to hospital" he said frantically looking around for signs of her.

"yeah she left a few minutes ago... What do you mean she can't walk? Her back?" James said his voice shaking

"no, erm... her hip, she thinks it's broken, and her arm is dislocated... I've got to get to the hospital James" kendall said then ran off towards me, took ophelia from me then got in his car ignoring the advice from the fireman to see the paramedic.

James and I waited while two more firemen went in with a stretcher to rescue Sheriden.

"she shouldn't even be here, it's all my fault" he kept saying.

"James it's no ones fault" I said giving his arm a stroke.

After the two fireman went in all hell broke loose. Another tremor hit and the rest of Logans roof on this side of the house came crashing down.  
People where screaming all around us.

"SHERIDEN!" James kept screaming over and over.

I sat on the floor still with dude in my arms and cried. I cried so hard.  
There was no way anyone could still be alive in that.

James sat down next to me sobbing, watching as firemen tried to work there way to Sheriden and the two firemen that had been trapped... Killed by Logans house.

it had just gone lunch time now, all of this had happened so quickly. But as time ticked on and all James and I could do was watch and pray after a few hours someone shouted.

James shot up, I don't think he wanted to know the outcome but he needed to.

As more and more firemen huddled around the same spot they finally pulled someone out, it was a fireman, not Sheriden.

"Will... Can you hear me Will?" Another fireman shouted. It must of been awful having to dig your work colleagues and friends from this not knowing what you will find.

Fireman Will was a ray of hope though, he was still alive.

"she will be fine James" I said now holding his hand.

"she has to be" he replied.

The search continued once Will was out safely. It wasn't long before another shout came that they had found someone.

Not much seemed to be happening.  
"what's taking them so long" James said

I squeezed his hand, "I don't know, maybe they need special equipment to move something" I suggested.  
At least twenty minutes passed by with hardly anyone doing anything.

"fuck what is this... Tea break" James cried as he looked around at a lot of people not doing much.

"oh God" I whispered out then grabbed James hand with both of mine while dude sat in between my legs on the grass, he turned and saw the coroners car that had just pulled in.

A fireman then started walking towards us.  
"oh God I'm going to be sick" James said.

"Mr maslow, the person we found is not your wife, we haven't located her yet" the fireman said, he gave James a gentle pat on the shoulder then walked away to chat to the coroner that had just arrived.  
James and I watched in horror as the dead body of the fireman was taken away.

James got up and was sick everywhere. I couldn't see this finishing with a happy ending at all. The area that was now being searched was in the centre of what would have been Logans living room.

James came back and sat down with me.

"what am I going to do without her kenz, she is my life." He said

"I don't know James"

"it's not looking good is it?" He sobbed.

I shook my head "no, no it's not looking good... " I soothed.

I didn't have anything on me, no phone to call Logan or anything, it didn't seem right to ask James for his, like I was thinking of other things.

Finally we heard a shout come that they had found her.

James completely broke down, he buried his head in my shoulder, not wanting to see the final outcome.

The fireman were removing so much still from the area that Sheriden lay, even if she had survived all that, there was no way in hell her fragile bones would of.

"James, look" I whispered.

James pulled his head from my shoulder and turned in to the direction of two paramedics that were now making there way through the rubble.

"does that mean she is alive?" James whispered back.

"I guess" I replied.

So much stuff was still being removed, I found it hard to believe that she was alive, once the paramedics reached her the fireman that spoke to us before started walking over.

"oh God, oh God oh God... Please" I heard James say under his breath.

The fireman crouched down in front of James  
"Mr maslow..."

"is she alive?" James asked

"yes! She is very alive, she is swearing her head off over there" the fireman smiled.

James let out a little laugh

"Mr maslow, she is in a bad way though, from what I can tell, both her legs are broken, one looks pretty bad, I should brace yourself that she may lose it, she was still strapped to the spinal board from the first rescue attempt, she said the fireman, Guy Dixon slid her underneath a coffee table which saved her life in the aftershock"

"is that the one that ..." James couldn't find the right words.

"Guy didn't make it no" once your wife is free she will be taken to hospital, she is asking for you" he said with a smile then walked back to the scene.

"she is alive" he said through new joyful tears.

We stood up and watched as Sheriden was gradually pulled out of the wreckage. It took them ages to put her on a new board, I wondered how bad her leg was.

"thank God that Logan chose the oak coffee table rather than the glass one huh?" I said to James. He just grinned at me.

Once Sheriden was in the safe zone outside of the rubble James was at her side.

I turned back to the house. I was all alone with no house, no car, no phone I sat back down and gave dude a hug.

I had no clue what I should be doing.

"kenz?" James said from behind me.

I turned and stood up

"Thankyou... Not sure how I would of coped through that without you" he said and gave me a hug.

"I'm glad she is okay... Fingers crossed her leg is alright" I said feeling emotional.

"take these, use what you need, I will call Logan and tell him where you are. use my car and the gate will just open up okay... Thanks kenz" he said handing me his keys then running back off to Sheriden who was being loaded in to an ambulance.

I made my way to bel air, the gate did just open up recognising the number plate. once inside the biggest house I had been in I took dude and sat myself down in one of the big rooms with a sofa in, all around me just reminded me of what had happened. There was stuff all over the place from the quake, I curled up with my puppy and had a good cry.

I used james' home telephone to try and call my sister.

It rang but went to voice mail  
"savannah... Some real bad things have happened, you and Carlos need to come back" I sobbed "please come back, I need you, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry" I wept down the phone.

I was on my own for about two hours before I heard the door chime.

I opened it up to Logan who just fell in to my arms crying.

"logie come here, how are they? I asked now crying again just by seeing how upset he was.

Logan couldn't talk, I wondered how he had managed to tell the taxi where to come.

I sat him down in the room that dude was in.  
"logues take a breath baby... How is paisley?" I asked.

"she went straight in to surgery, she was given a transfusion, she died halfway through. Actually clinically dead kenz. They couldn't get a heart beat going for ages, she was shocked three times before her heart kicked back in."

"is she going to be okay?

"she is on life support, her heart just kept giving out... I honestly don't think she is gonna pull through Macks" he said.

"any news on Sheriden? Is her leg okay?" I asked.

"her leg? Nothing was mentioned about her leg, I didn't see James, he phoned me, told me where you were. Kendall is waiting with Ophelia, hoping pais wakes up" he said drying his eyes with his sleeve.

"her legs were broken, a fireman told James that she is likely to have one amputated... Fuck... Logues how the hell did this all happen" I said watching Logan get up and leave the room.

"I don't know babe" he called from the next room "pick dude up, I'm not sure how he will be with these guys" he said as he opened up a door and fox and falco came running out to greet us.

Logan came back in and watched as the three dogs gave eachother a good sniff. "he should be fine with them huh" I said. Logan nodded and I put dude down to mingle with his new poochy pals.

"you don't have your phone do you? my battery is going die soon" he said.

"no I don't it was in the house... Logan what are we going to do, where do we start with sorting all this out" I said resting my head on his shoulder as he slouched in to the sofa.

"I have absolutely no idea. I guess I should start trying to do something... Amputate her leg?... Jesus Christ" Logan added now taking in what I said about Sheriden.

"I know, the rest caved in on her during an aftershock... Logues... One of the firemen died" I said softly.

"oh my God... That's awful" Logan said

"should we go back to see what's left?" I asked.

"no... No I'm going to have to get on the phone and try and sort things out" Logan said then went out to the grand hallway of James' house and used the telephone.

He was out there phoning and talking for ages before he came back in.

"what's happening then?" I asked

"I'm not sure yet, I'm waiting for a few people to phone me back. Does savannah have the keys to the apartment above the salon?" He asked

"yeah I guess she does, mine are lost in the rubble somewhere, I did try and phone her... I left a message. Kate will have a spare set to the salon" I replied.

Logan just nodded. "are you going to be okay without your inhaler?" He asked.

"I should be fine, I will make an appointment tomorrow and restock... Logie come here" I said pulling his hand down so he came and sat with me instead of pacing the floor.

We had a hug, "logues I love you, just think positive okay... It's out of our hands" I whispered.

"that's the hardest part though isn't it... I love you too Macks. I would be completely lost without you" he replied

The day dragged, we didn't hear anything from anyone, Logan had a few calls come in for him on james' home number, none of it was good news. Financially it looked bad, the insurance on the house did not cover natural disasters like earthquakes, and even though there wasnt technically a house anymore, the mortgage still had to be paid - all $3450 a month.

Logan and I tried working all the figures out, it was all estimated, but he had a fair idea how much renovation and rebuild would cost because of the fire damage last year.

"okay look... the house is worth 450k, the insurance guy on the phone said that rebuild value is 225k... I'm still gonna have to pay the mortgage, then rebuild costs, even with a bank loan it would be around... What two thousand bucks a month? Plus paying people to do it, the mortgage on the salon and the apartment each month are $1850. The car is rented"

"how much? I asked writing all the figures down.

"$1250 a month. Plus all the stuff on finance I have for the house... Roughly about $900 ... How much needs to come out a month then?" He asked me putting his head in his hands.

"$8450 a month needs to be available to go" I replied

"and that's not including the builders or somewhere to live in while a rebuild takes place... Jesus Kenzie, we are talking about almost ten thousand dollars coming out a month, almost four thousand is being wasted on a house that doesn't even exist anymore" he sighed.

"how much do you take in at the salon each month?" He asked.

"between 15 and 20 thousand a month, minus wages, water, electric and products and tax I'm left with around 5 thousand, I take around 2 thousand for my own wages, leaving just over 2 which goes in to the savings account. There is about 22 thousand in there logues, what have you got in yours?" I asked. I had never asked Logan this before, I knew he was well off but money was something I didn't care nor need to know about... Until now.

"savings I have 75 thousand in the bank, but pretty much everything I'm worth was tied in to the house"

"how much are you worth?" I asked.

"big time rush as a whole, with the show and the band collectively around 9 million but we dont see much of that, what I get is completely different, royalties are still flooding in but it's never gonna be enough to cover this Macks. we are screwed without the insurance paying out... " He said.

"no we are not screwed. Logan the salon is worth a lot of money now after the refurb you had done, sell the salon" I said sadly.

"I'm not selling the salon, you have worked too fucking hard making it successful to just hand it to someone else kenz" he said.

"Logan if you sold the salon then it would pay for the house to be rebuilt, if you don't sell the salon we will lose it anyway when we can't afford the repayments each month... Babe it will be okay" I soothed.

"I'm sorry... You deserve better than this Macks" he replied.

"Logan honestly the salon isn't a big deal, our friends are in hospital and your home is demolished... Hairdressing can wait logues. We are lucky to still be alive... " I said softly.

it was late when the doorbell chimed again, it was James, obviously he couldn't get in because I had his key.

"how is she" Logan asked after James being in the house for less than three seconds.

James just sat on the bottom step of his twirling staircase.

"she has had surgery, she had a dislocated arm, her wrist is broken, her pelvis is broken, her right leg is fractured in her thigh and her left leg was pretty much severed all the way through at her shin" he said fairly calmly.

"but they saved it?" I asked.

James looked at me and pulled a funny face "I don't know... They wanted me to sign all these papers consenting to amputate it. Sheri was totally out if it by the time she had pain relief... How was I meant to make the decision to have her leg cut off... It's fucked, they said they doubt that it will heal enough to function, said 30% chance the leg will be saved" he replied.

"I think you made the right choice James" I said softly sitting next to him on the step, I took his hand.

"imagine how pissed off she would be with me if I said yeah chop it off... She would never forgive me... She was a catwalk fucking model, how has all this shit happened to her... She doesn't deserve all this" he said.

"she is alive though buddy... That's the main thing, legs or not, she is still alive" Logan said.

"yeah and I'm so fucking grateful for that logues. Watching them dig her out of there I honestly believed she was gone... What's happening with paisley?" He asked

"we haven't heard from kendall but she was on life support... She's hanging in there" I said as Logan too sat on the step next to me.

I held his hand with my free one  
"everything will be okay guys... It has to be" I replied.

**_follow me on twitter - sheridenlloyd - thanks xxx treehatsrock xxx_**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Mackenzies story**_

We were all up early the following day. and shared a taxi down to the hospital.

We weren't allowed to see paisley, she was having checks done and already had too many visitors as the lady at the desk informed us. So we went to join James to see how Sheriden was.

Logan knocked on her private room door.  
"hey" he said to James as we walked in quietly, Sheriden was sleeping.

"how's things today?" Logan asked.

"she is in a lot of pain, she said she hardly slept. They have just upped her meds... Hopefully she will feel better after a rest" he said.

James was holding on to her hand, the other arm was strapped up, she had some stitches in her head. The rest of her was covered up with her bedsheets, but her legs must of had some big old equipment going on down there as it looked like she had a box of some sort under there with her.

I had never seen Sheriden sleeping before, she didn't look threatening at all looking at her now. She still looked stunning even after everything that had happened.

A small knock came to the door and kendall popped his head round his face tired and raw from crying.

"can I come in?" He whispered to James. I wasn't sure of how there friendship was after all this. before the quake I know James had hit kendall. Then he stormed off and sat in his car. That's when the ground started moving.

"yeah course... How is paisley?" James asked

"it's not looking good. But she is off life support and breathing on her own but On top of everything there is a problem with her lungs because of the transfusions... I don't really understand it all... I just popped up to see how Sheriden was quickly, my mom has got Ophelia, she flew In with Kevin last night" kendall said roboticaly.

"she may lose a leg" James replied.

"what? Jesus! I thought her hip was broken? The entire leg?" He said shocked.

"there was an after shock which brought the rest of the roof down, the fireman that got you and pais out died, he saved Sheris life... It will be below the knee if she loses it." James replied.

"he died? Fuck this has got to be a bad dream... " kendall said in disbelief.

"can we see paisley?" Logan asked. "we were told maybe later" he added.

"yeah sure, my family were in there. I'm going to make my way back down if you wanted to come now?" kendall asked.

We followed kendall down to where paisleys intensive care room was.

A nurse looked up from her desk and smiled at kendall as we walked passed and entered the room. The smile was a sympathetic one.

Logan sat in the chair next to paisleys bedside, he had started crying again. She looked dreadful, she was hooked up to so many gadgets and machines. Her lips looked cracked and her normally tanned looking skin looked grey.

"has she woken up yet." I asked.

Kendall just shook his head, "her body is just shutting down. She doesn't seem to have any fight left in her" he replied.

"kendall I'm so sorry... She will get better... She has to for Ophelia" I said.

Logan held on to paisleys hand. He looked heartbroken.  
"I love you Reno... Don't do this to me" he said softly.

We stayed for sometime just sitting with paisley.

Kendall seemed so distant in his mind. His mom had Ophelia. So all he had to occupy himself with was watching paisley.

Logan didn't want to leave so I left both him and kendall to be alone with her while I made my way back to see Sheriden.

I knocked on the door gently before opening it.  
"hey... Sorry did I wake you" I whispered to her.

"no your fine... The pain is pretty intense" she replied.

"where is James?" I asked

"he is on the phone to his mom" she replied.

I nodded "any news on the leg?" I asked finally

"it's still attached... But no they aren't sure yet. I can moved my toes though, but they are worried about it not wanting to heal. Even if it does heal I'm gonna have some major walking problems... The hip is the same side" she said.

"you seem so calm Sheriden... I was expecting you to be calling every surgeon in the world to come fix you or something?" I said, the words came out very tactless. I didn't mean them to be.

she shrugged "a man died for me. I'm so lucky to be here at all. If life takes a leg from me then I will except that. It was the coffee table that did it." She said with a slur, I figured her medication was causing that.

"I thought the table saved your life?" I asked.

"it did. The fireman... Guy Dixon was his name, he slid as much of me as he could under that table in the spilt second that he had before the roof came in. When it did come in the table legs on one end buckled under the weight of what had fallen and collapsed. It was the edge of the table that went through my leg... I've never felt pain like it... But that man saved my life. He was 42" Sheriden said.

"I'm so sorry Sheriden... Logan is looking in to how it all happened, why it happened. Everything is such a mess. I've just been to see paisley" I said

"how is she doing?" Sheriden asked.

"kendall said it's not great, I don't know the ins and outs... She looks bad Sheriden" I admitted.

"it's awful" was all she replied back.

Logan and I went back to James' house after a few hours at the hospital.

He hunted down James' charger for his phone and turned his back on. Least we had some kind of connection to the world.

I made a brief trip top the doctors to get my asthma prescriptions. When I returned back to james' house in the late afternoon Logan was asleep in the room we were staying in. He must of been so tired. I don't think anyone really slept last night.

I curled up next to him leaving dude to just roam around.  
"hey" Logan murmured and wrapped the bed covers over me.

"hey, go back to sleep logues" I replied.

He kissed me on my forehead  
"savannah called me, her and Carlos are on the next flight back, she only got your message this morning, they were on the boat... She said to tell you she loves you kenz" Logan whispered.

I smiled. "I'm forgiven then... That's good" I whispered back. Logan smiled back at me, I rubbed his face with my thumb then cuddled in to him and sleep took me to a dream world of chaos.

Logans phone vibrating on the bedside table woke me up.

Logan was oblivious to it and still in the land of nod so I answered it.

"hello?" I asked, the number was a strange one, and it was just gone midnight now.

"Mackenzie it's kendall. Erm... Listen... pais really isn't good and I just wanted to know if Logan... And you wanted to come down. I don't want to do this on my own Mackenzie" kendall said his voice soft.

"we will be ten minutes... Kendall... I'm so sorry... See you soon okay" I replied.

"thanks Mackenzie... Bye" he simply replied then I hung up.

"Logan... Baby come on, wake up!" I whispered.

Logan stirred, he looked so tired still.

"what's up?" He grumbled out.

"we need to go to the hospital logues, come on..." I said softly.

Logan just looked at me, his sleepy head remembering everything that was going on.

"is she dead?" Logan asked.

I shook my head "no... She has taken a turn for the worst. Kendall just phoned asking if you would like to be there with him" I explained.

Logan nodded and got himself out of bed.  
We just took james' truck that was now back in the large driveway.

We reached the hospital quickly, the roads were nice and clear. then made our way up to paisleys room.

My eyes filled up when I saw her. She looked swollen, really bloated out, her breathing was very uneasy.

"hey man" Logan said quietly to kendall, kendall got out of the bed side seat and gave Logan a hug.

"hey logues... She had a seizure a few hours ago, she has just got steadily worse. They ..." Kendalls voice cracked with emotion "...they don't think she is gonna last to morning... I thought you would like to be here with her" kendall said, tears silently spilling down his face.

Logan swallowed hard "this is it then?" Logan asked kendall.

"I'm afraid so yeah, the nurses said that she hasn't woken up since surgery, she is just happily dreaming away in there, she isn't in any pain. I just figured it would be nice to be surrounded by the people she cared about most. James came in earlier, he said his goodbyes." kendall then had to take a breath to try and hold back the tears.

Logan just walked and sat next to her.  
"paisley don't do this... He whispered. I'm going to miss you so much" he cried taking her hand. He gave it a kiss.

"why does she look like that?" I asked kendall.

"her body isn't working, it's excess water that's trapped in there" he said matter of factly.

"kendall how are you going to handle this... Where do we begin?" I said looking back at paisley and Logan.

"I have no clue." He replied.

I walked over to where paisley lay. I gave her arm a stroke.  
"can't believe I'm never gonna hear your voice again pais... I've known you forever..." I broke down in tears

Logan walked round from the opposite side of the bed and gave me a hug.  
"this can't be happening... It can't be" I sobbed in to him.

Kendall then took the seat on the bedside that Logan had vacated and sat holding paisleys hand.

"trust you paisley prince to go breaking everyones hearts" I sobbed. "I've got so many amazing memories of us when we were little pais... Ophelia is going to hear all these funny stories of her amazing mommy, her beautiful amazing mommy. And she will hear how stupid you can be too. Like the time you thought it would be funny to stuff all those m&m's up your nose... Or when you thought rhys spooner fancied you because he winked at you a few times but it turned out he had a tick" i let out a laugh at the memory, so did kendall "Your a silly thing pais... Sleep tight babes. I love you" I finished.

"I can imagine her doing that" kendall smirked through his tears. "paisley... If you snap out of this now I promise I will marry you tomorrow baby... please pais... You can't leave me" he cried then took a minute to collect his thoughts. "I love you. Ophelia loves you. She is going to grow up such a happy little girl paisley... I promise. I won't let you down. I love you so much" he said.

One of the machines beeped and a nurse came in, she checked paisley over.  
"her pulse is very faint now" she said softly.

"can't you give her something... Do something for her. You can't just leave her to die" Logan said angrily.

"paisley is very ill. Her body hasn't responded to any of the treatment we have tried. There is nothing left that we can do medically for her apart from make her comfortable" the nurse explained with a sympathetic smile.

Logan turned back to paisley  
"I've never had a friend like her, she is amazing, one of a kind... Reno... Please" Logan begged now crying. "I told her everything, she told me everything... I promised you that I wouldn't let anything hurt you pais. I'm so sorry. We had a lot of hilarious times. I've never been so in love with a girl and not had sex with her. We kissed once though pais didn't we" he laughed. "til we meet again... I love you Reno." He sobbed resting his head on her arm.

kendall was in absolute bits. I walked round to give him a hug.  
Paisley suddenly jolted up by her chest. the nurse walked over and held her pulse,  
A machine went berserk, and another nurse walked in.  
One turned the beeping noise off, and the other still had hold of paisleys pulse.

"she's gone" the nurse said in her soft voice.

"I love you paisley" kendall said once more. No one spoke for a while, I thought it nice that the last words she may of heard where from kendall saying he loved her.

"time of death 1.35am" the nurse said to her colleague.  
They went round turning all the machines off and un hooked paisley from all her pipes and tubes and lines that she had attached to her.

All three of us just watched, not knowing what to say or do.  
"would you like a few minutes alone with her?" The nurse asked.

Kendall didn't move it was Logan that responded.  
"Thankyou, that would be kind" he replied.

The nurse nodded and walked out clicking the door shut behind her.

"Kendall I'm so sorry" I wept.

Kendall still just sat there holding her hand.  
"she has a busy time of it now, she has her little baby to look after and my little baby... They needed her, that's why God took her. They needed her" kendall whispered, he then gave paisley a kiss on the lips "be good in heaven pais" he whispered then gave her a kiss on the forehead and sat back down.

"I can't believe she isn't going to wake up I sobbed, I held her other hand, it was feeling cold already. It was odd, it really wasn't paisley in there anymore, all trace of her had gone, it was just a shell she had left behind, there was no familiar expression on her face, her body just looked peaceful, I gave her a kiss on the forehead, followed by Logan who had tears falling from him.

"Thankyou for letting us be here. It was nice that you asked us. I'm glad we all did this together... I'm sure pais is too." Logan whispered to kendall.

kendall just nodded.  
"I feel so empty inside... the worst has happened... What am I meant to feel? There is nothing to be afraid of now, the worst possible thing has happened" he cried.

"we remember her life, and share her memories, and keep her in our hearts. all you need to feel is that you miss her. Don't feel angry or sad... Just miss her. She lives on in your daughter kendall" I whispered.

"that's nice... I do miss her. She isn't in there anymore is she?" He said looking at paisleys peaceful looking body.

"no... she isn't... I've never seen anyone like that. Have you?" I asked

"no, never... Mackenzie I did Try a few numbers for her mom, but they were old and disconnected. Do you have any idea how I can contact her without just turning up at her door" he asked.

"erm yeah, my cousin lives in Reno still, I could get a contact number for you..." I said giving his arm a rub.

"that would be great... I'm going to get home to my mom and phee. if you guys want to come round tomorrow I would like that" he whispered.

"yeah course... everything will be okay kendall" I said soothingly. He gave paisley one last kiss and gave her hand a squeeze then left the room.

"she is only twenty Kenzie... Twenty years old and she is gone" Logan cried.

"I know, it's such a waste"I sighed.

"sweet dreams baby girl" Logan whispered, he took my hand and led me out of the room.

The next morning Logan went down to see what was happening at his home, he had hired a contractor to try and sieve through the chaos and find anything that could be saved, after that the bulldozer would be making an entrance to knock the entire place down.  
Today was also the day that my salon would be going up for sale, well we had someone coming to value that and the above apartment.

I was just feeding the dogs when James came downstairs he looked rough.

"morning" he said.

I smiled "did Kendall phone you?"

"no, I went in to see paisley last night, I warn you now it's not looking great" he said.

"James... I'm sorry, she died last night" I said

James just looked at me. His face expressionless  
"really? oh my God... Paisley!" he said softly

"Kendall called us late last night, Logan and I used your truck, I hope you don't mind. But all three of us were with her when she went. it was peaceful James, she didn't suffer" I explained.

"I can't believe it. I know he said that she was bad and to say goodbye but I just thought in the back of my mind that she would pull through you know... She was so young and full of life" he said filling up with tears.

"how are you with Kendall?" I asked

"I'm not sure, I guess things don't really matter now... It's tragic, she is leaving behind that beautiful baby... I just can't get my head round it" he said

"Logan and I are going round to see him later, I'm sure he would like it if you came too... Carlos should be back today also" I said

"yeah I will go, Sheri is going to be devastated when I tell her... How do I do it, she will blame herself" James said.

"well it wasnt her fault James, we can't live our lives in cotton wool balls just incase something goes wrong. If anything, paisley dying just proves that lives need to be lived to the max... If you want me to tell her I don't mind. How is Sheriden anyway?" I asked

"I would like that, if you could... Thanks Kenzie. She is okay the fracture she has in her pelvis is doing good, the really bad leg is healing, the skin is coming back together nicely, she had to have a skin graft, they are worried about how well the muscle is doing though... Just have to pray for her" he said

"are you going down to the hospital now?" I asked.

"yeah... I will call kendall first, give me a shout when you're dressed" he said then walked off.

_**follow me on twitter sheridenlloyd**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Sheridens story**_

"well how long would you guess then" I asked the nurse

"Sheriden it isn't as straight forward as that I'm afraid, I know it's frustrating to be stuck in here but I honestly have no clue how long it will be before you can get out and about... Has the doctor spoken to you about physio yet?" She asked.

"no not yet... How long will physio go on for... I hate physio" I added.

"you may hate it but it will help tremendously when you are up on your two feet. It depends on how well your legs heal. I would imagine you are going to be bed bound for a while yet then spend a while in a wheelchair... Physio will help you get out of the chair quicker" she added before I could moan about the wheelchair word.

"how is the pain today?" She then asked me.

"worse if anything." I replied.

"okay well I expect it's just the bruising but you are scheduled for an xray later today to see how it's all coming along... Can you feel your toes okay? Any tingling or anything unusual?" She asked looking at my leg that I very almost lost.

"I don't think so, it's hard to tell" I said giving my toes a wiggle.

"well the skin colour is looking good, no sign of infection as far as I can see... Do you need anything before I go?" She asked.

"no I will be fine. James will be in soon he likes to make himself useful" I smiled.

"Hmmm dreamy James... He has a lot of the nurses talking about him" she laughed.

I smiled at her. "well you tell them he is my dreamy James" I replied.

"will do" she said then walked out the door, just as she left she popped her head back through  
"Sheriden you have a visitor, did you want to see them... She says her name is Kathy" she asked.

"yeah that's fine" I replied expecting to see james' mom

I was fine until the visitor walked in and I found it to be kendalls mother, also called Kathy, who I had always had a rift with since the first day I met her

"what can I do for you" I said with attitude. I disliked kendalls mother just as much as she disliked me.  
She always made it clear that I wasnt good enough for her son when I dated him the first time round. I expect she was appalled about the brief affair we had just had.

"paisley is dead because of you Sheriden. My granddaughter is with out a mother and it is all your fault. My son is at home crying his eyes out... All because of you" she hissed.

"dead? What? She can't be dead... No!" I said shocked.

"yes and it is all down to you, if you could of left kendall alone, left Ophelia alone then she wouldn't of been where she was" she hissed.

I couldn't speak, I was in shock. Tears spilled over my eyes without me even realising I was crying

"she can't be..." I stammered out

Mackenzie knocked and walked in the room,  
Kendalls mom looked then carried on her assault of hurtful words.

"she is dead because of you... And you know it's your fault don't you! I can see it in your eyes, they are filled with guilt. Your a disgusting excuse for a human being. Look at you now Sheriden killing people left right and centre, I hope you rot in prison after that trial, you deserve to just for what you have done to my sons little family. I knew you were trouble the first time I layed eyes on you" she spat.

"sorry who are you?" Mackenzie said sternly to kendalls mother.

"I'm kendalls mom" she said eyeing up Mackenzie.

"how dare you come in here and say disgusting words that are not true! Sheriden did nothing to harm paisleys life, she was taken from us through an earthquake. I have known paisley for most of my life and I know full well she would find your behaviour now absolutely disgusting. Sheriden was one of her closest friends and she learns of her death like this... I think you should leave before I have you thrown out" Mackenzie finished by holding the door open for Kathy to leave.

"closest friends? She was screwing my son behind paisleys back" Kathy argued back.

"then I suggest you talk to your son about that. Get the hell out of here" Mackenzie shouted.

Kathy turned to look at me, she stared daggers before turning on her heels and leaving. Mackenzie closed the door behind her then came over and gave me a hug.

"Sheriden I'm so sorry, I came over to tell you, I didn't want you to find out like that... What a fucking bitch..." Mackenzie said.

"she is dead? She is really dead?" I sobbed as Mackenzie had her arm around me.

she nodded "I'm so sorry Sheriden. Logan and I were there with kendall when she went, we all said some nice words, she never woke up, she didn't feel any pain. She was so sick Sheriden. It was no ones fault so don't you dare listen to that woman... Okay?" She said wiping my face from tears.

I just cried and cried listening to her soft words.

James walked in followed by Carlos and savannah.  
Carlos gave me a hug while savannah grabbed her sister and both of them began crying.

James sat in the chair and reached a hand out for me to take as Carlos held me close to him.

James gave me a small smile which I felt meant that everything was going to be okay.

As things calmed down in the room and we all spoke of the tragic loss of paisley, and how we all felt, the conversation turned to what was happening with savannah.  
We all learnt that savannah had been to the police station this morning and made a positive ID that the other person that raped her was in fact Marcus crofts brother. savannah had been told that her trial would begin in just a few weeks. She was very nervous.

"I had a message from a rape crisis centre asking me to be a Patron for them, they wanted me to encourage other women to come forward in sexual assaults. They said my story is inspiring to girls in similar situations" she said holding her sisters hand but leaning her head on Carlos' shoulder

"It sounds like a very positive thing to be involved in savannah, you should be proud of yourself" James said.

"I haven't decided if I will do it yet. Los thinks I should but I don't feel I coped very well with it" she explained.

"savannah being involved with a charity that is so close to your heart is very rewarding, and knowing that your helping other people in similar situations to what you have experienced is the best possible therapy out there. It's like fighting the system, you should seriously think about doing it" I said.

"I guess... I will call them, see what they say" she said.

"I'm going to have to get going, I've got a valuation on the salon that I want to be present for, and I'm going to see kendall with Logan." Mackenzie sighed

"valuation?" James asked

"yeah... The house isn't covered by the insurance, we are selling the salon to hopefully get on an even keel financially... Just one of those things" she said.

"well Kenzie, Sheriden and I can help out if-" James began but Mackenzie interrupted.

"Thankyou... it's a kind offer but we really couldn't accept that amount of money from you... It's just too much" she replied.

She then made her way around everyone giving them hugs and kisses before she left, it was an awkward moment watching her and Carlos decide if they would hug it out. They did.  
"Thankyou for looking after my sister" Mackenzie said as she broke away from Carlos' hug.

"and thanks for looking after mine" he replied. Mackenzie looked at me and gave me a smile then left the room.

"I won't be a minute I'm just gonna catch up with her" savannah declared then left to talk to her sister.

"how is she doing?" I asked Carlos now savannah had left.

"she is very emotional, taking each day as it comes. But she is okay you know. I think once the trials over she can concentrate on her modelling and give herself something to work towards" Carlos replied

"she is such a strong girl, she will get through this easy" I said.

"well what about you? What is going on with this Marcus croft thing. Do you know who killed him?" Carlos asked

"no I don't Los" I replied.

Carlos gave me a weak smile, he knew i was lying, but under the circumstances he didn't want to argue  
"okay... And you guys are together?" He asked looking at me and James.

"yeah we are together" James replied. I had the feeling I wasnt as off the hook as I thought I was going to be about the kendall thing.

Carlos seemed to pick up on this too.  
"well I will leave you guys to it, I expect you need your rest shoo. I will go and see kendall... What do I say to him? It's such an awkward situation" Carlos mused.

"just be there for him, that's the only thing any of us can do" James replied

"Carlos can you tell him im sorry, I hope he doesn't blame me" I said filling up with emotion again.

"Sheri he wouldn't blame you" James said

"Mackenzie just rescued me from his mother... She blames me completely"

"she would blame you for her ugly fucking face Sheriden... It's just circumstantial, who's to say what would of been different, if paisley hadn't been there then Logan or Mackenzie could be dead... What's happened has happened... It's not your fault babe" James snapped.

I just nodded. Carlos gave me a kiss and threw James a smile then left the room.

"you seem more with it today?" James said taking my hand.

"yeah I'm not on full whack of my painkillers any more. The doctor needs me to be able to feel what's going on with the leg" I replied, James stayed silent. he had been so kind and supportive the last couple of days, I felt now was the time he needed to talk about what had happened between us.

"... I love you James. It was a mistake. My head got caught up in ridiculous dreams-" James cut me off

"I can forgive you for sleeping with him. I can forgive you for running away with him. I can forgive you for lying to me... What I can't forgive you for is the reason why you did all these things" he said softly

"Ophelia?" I replied

James nodded " it was you that convinced me we would be okay with not having kids... You said as Long as we had each other we would be fine... Then it was you that ran off with the first person that paraded their child in front of you"

"I'm sorry James" I cried "are we breaking up?"

"breaking up? No we are not breaking up Sheri... We are doing things my way for a change. This entire situation has been a complete joke" he said angrily.

"what do you mean?" I replied.

"I want a baby. I want us to have a baby" he said softly.

"James I can't, you know I can't" I sobbed, worrying that he was about to end things unless I agreed.

"Sheriden I mean adopt, or find a surrogate... I want a baby, you want a baby. It's not working pretending we can get through life without the one thing we both want, so I'm making it clear that I'm not happy being a childless couple" he said still holding my hand.

"do I get any say in this?" I said shocked.

"course you do, you can say yes and we do it, or you can say no and we call it a day... Sheriden I've taken so much of your crap through the years. its about time you listened to me instead of told me what is going to happen"

"we discussed it together, I didn't tell you what was going to happen at all James"

"fact is though Sheri that it's you that can't have kids" he gave my hand a kiss "and it's me that agreed to give them up... To be with you, then you run off with Kendall... I knew that wouldn't last. It was a ridiculous idea" he said

"I don't think anyone in their right mind would let us adopt... I'm on trial in connection with a murder... Then the drug use... The list goes on and on" I said defeated.

Did you kill Marcus? What's going to happen with that. Was kendall involved?" James asked.

"I was going to... On the night at the hotel. Kendall showed up though, I thought he might, he was dead against all of it, that is why he came over, he knew that if he was around then there was no way I would risk him being part of it. Risk his name getting dragged in to it" I explained.

"You paid someone to do it?" He asked

"no... luckily. they traced all activity on my money, nothing was out of the ordinary so they had to bail me... They have no evidence at all on me" I said.

"how did you get someone else to do that then... I know you know who did it" James whispered from my bedside.

"James honestly your better off not knowing the answers to these questions" I said softly back

"I'm actually scared that a mad man will show up at the door some day demanding his money for bumping some guy off for you" he explained.

"that won't happen James... I promise" I whispered.

"tell me Sheri... Who did this for you?"

"once the trial is over and im completly cleared of everything we will really look in to having a baby... " I said changing the subject.

James sat there for a minute, deciding if he should probe me any further.  
"thanks Sheri" he finally said.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Mackenzies story**_

I had just left the bedside of Sheriden and walked out in to the corridor

"Kenzie! Wait up a sec" savannah called

"what's up?" I sniffed, feeling emotional still from talking about paisley.

"are you okay? Like seriously okay? You knew paisley for years, this must be really fucking hard for you" she said taking my hand and guiding me over to a couple of seats in the hospital corridor.

"I feel a bit numb to be honest, so much is going on at the moment" I replied "I'm glad we are talking to each other again... I missed you" I added.

"I missed you too... I do love Carlos, he isn't the person you think he is Kenzie... Look this selling the salon shit that is going on... Kenzie you love that place, you have made such a success from it. Let me help you?" She said.

I almost laughed at her "savannah I appreciate the offer but I honestly doubt you could help us" I said giving her hand a squeeze to say I really did appreciate the offer.

"Mackenzie I'm in a position to honestly help, I got such a fucking huge amount of money planted in my bank account for the tiny amount of modelling I did in New York" she explained.

"sav I'm not taking your money, Logan and I will be fine, honestly" I said "how was Florida with his family?" I added changing the subject.

"it was nice, they all seemed really friendly... Carlos and I ... You know... did it. it was my first time since those bastards attacked me" she said.

"wow... That... That is a step forward for you... I can't believe you married him... You're both insane huh" I said.

Carlos walked out of the room and walked towards us.

"look I'm so pleased you guys are doing great... Honestly I am. I've got to go, kendall hasn't told paisleys mom yet. Call Logans cell and we could all meet up later and have a good catch up... If you would like that?" I said more looking at Carlos.

"yeah that would be nice... Wouldn't it savs" Carlos replied smiling

The death of paisley hasn't all been in vain I guess if it meant it had brought people back together  
"I will see you both later then" I replied and gave my sister a hug and left her sitting in the corridor with Carlos.

I got a cab to kendalls. His mother answered the door.  
"what do you want?" She said

"to see kendall and Ophelia obviously, I have a number for paisleys mom to give him" I said.

She moved aside so I could enter the home.  
Kendall and I started off with a very turbulent friendship, well I wouldn't even call it a friendship but once I did get to figure out what he was all about he turned from an arrogant loud mouth idiot to a caring, sensitive person who pretty much wore his heart on his sleeve.  
From the first time I gave him a mini make over in my hotel room when Ophelia was just a glint in his eye he had shown himself to be such a lovely person.  
Obviously Carlos was never my favourite person and James always striked me as a bit strange.  
Kendall though I had a lot of time for.

"hey kenz" he said as I walked in to the kitchen were he stood.

"hey... How you bearing up?" I asked giving him a hug.

"okay... Well, not okay but coping, you know, that's all I can do... Did you get that number for her mom?" He asked.

"well yes and no. I got a number for Ryan, or I can get my aunty to pay her mom a visit, she doesn't have a working number at the moment" I replied.

"did you know Ryan?" Kendall asked

"I vaguely remember him, he is a bit older than me I think, but I don't really know him" I explained.

"he punched me once... When paisley and I first hooked up... I will call him, least he cared about her at some point, he can tell her mom. Once she knows I can make a public statement" he said

"where is Ophelia?" I asked

"she is asleep upstairs... Sounds silly but I told her pais had gone, I cried like a fucking baby kenz, phee just kind of listened" he said getting emotional, I could see his eyes starting to fill.

"your gonna be fine on your own, if you need any help organising the funeral then I'm here okay." I offered.

"thanks I will take you up on that, I don't even know where to begin... My mom said she will help... But I don't know. She hardly knew pais" he said

"kendall did you know your mom went to see Sheriden today?"

"what? No I didn't know that, fucks sake, what did she say... She hates Sheri so much" kendall said

"well I got there just after but she ended up being the one to tell Sheriden about paisley, she was saying some awful things to her kendall... I'm afraid to say that I was pretty rude to your mom. Not even Sheriden deserved to hear some of the things she was being told" I explained

"fuck... why. Is Sheri okay?" He asked.

"she is doing okay, I told her it was absolutely nothing to do with her, just a tragic thing to of happened" I said.

"of course it is, shit if my mom is blaming Sheriden then paisley dying is my fault, the entire thing was me chasing her"

"kendall it's not anybodies fault... Can I wake Ophelia up, I really wanna give her a cuddle"

Kendall smiled, "I will get her out of bed but I doubt she will wake up, she is so lazy"

Kendall walked out of the kitchen for a couple of minutes before returning with a sleeping beauty in his arms, I took her from him.

tears left my eyes just looking at her, it was so sad that she would never get to know how truly incredible her mommy was. She looked so much like her apart from the eyes.

"sorry" I sniffed at kendall as tears tricked down my face.

"don't be silly, it's difficult, no one knew that she would be taken from us so soon. Thanks for being there last night... I best make this call huh" he then added with the slip of paper with paisleys ex boyfriends number on it.

He attempted to dial the number but he ended the call before he finished dialling in tears.

"kendall I will do it, here take Ophelia. Don't get upset. Pais wouldn't want that" I said passing the baby over to him.

he passed me the phone and the paper.  
i dialled the number it answered to a very deep voice.

"hello?" It answered

"hi is this Ryan?" I replied.

"yeah" said the deep voice.

"hi Ryan my name is Mackenzie we used to go to the same School, im not sure if you remember me, im a friend of paisleys... Paisley prince" I said.

"yeah I remember you, what do you want?" He said.

"well I was just wondering if you could pass a message on for me to paisleys mom... I can't seen to find a number for her anywhere... It's bad news I'm afraid Ryan" I added.

"what do you mean?" He asked.

"I'm really sorry to have to tell you but paisley got trapped in a house during an earthquake... In my house. It collapsed... Ryan I'm sorry but paisley died early this morning from her injuries" I said softly.

The line was silent for a minute.

"Ryan?" I asked, checking he was still there.

"erm... Yeah I'm here... That's terrible... She has a kid now doesn't she?" He asked.

"yeah she had a baby daughter. It's an extremely sad time for the family... Would you be able to let her mom know?... if you like I can give you details of the funeral when they are ready if you would like to attend" I said.

"yeah I can tell her mom ... Erm... I would like to go if that's okay." He said.

I gave Ryan kendalls number for paisleys mom, and said we would be in touch about the funeral plans.

"thanks for doing that" kendall said

"that's okay. she may be drunk when she calls. So be warned" I added.

Kendall nodded.

I spent a good hour or so around kendalls having a cuddle with Ophelia. Logan soon turned up and fresh tears started up from all three of us, kendalls mom didn't bother me again, she made herself scarce which I was pleased about.

When it was time for us to go I passed on sheridens message to him, both Logan and I gave him a hug and left him in the care off his mom.

Logan had the use of his car again, his keys had been recovered from the mess at least.

"how is it looking there?" I asked.

"chaos... Absolute chaos. What time is the valuation 12.30?" He asked.

"yeah... James and savannah offered to help us... Sav has made a bit of money already so she said... I said no. I feel we should do this on our own logues" I explained.

"Macks... I'm sorry about the salon. We will start again I promise. I've decided to sell the land that the house is on once it's cleared... I don't think I could live there knowing that a man died and that it caused pais to... go" he said.

I gave Logan a gentle squeeze of his arm as he drove us back to James' house.

"logues honestly it really doesn't matter about the salon...what do you think we will be left with to start fresh somewhere new?"

Logan looked at me quickly before returning his eyes to the road "kenz I don't think we will have anything left... The only thing we can hope for is that the Salon sells for enough to keep our heads above water so we don't end up in bankruptcy... I'm hoping to have a few thousand left for a deposit on a house for us, Kenzie... Mackenzie... This problem with the money is entirely my problem, I understand if you wanna run and bale, take your savings and run. You don't have to stay and suffer with me kenz... It's so fucked up" he said seriously.

my first response to this ridiculous running away idea was to hit him, so I did, fairly hard on the arm, the second was to make him see sense.

"your a fucking Dick Logan Henderson... A complete Dick... Pull the car over... NOW!" I shouted.

He did Pull in to the side of the road.

I leaned over and gave Logan a big cuddle, wrapping my arms around his neck. Nose to nose I whispered to him.  
"baby I love you, I really honestly couldn't give a fuck if you had a regular 9 to 5 job washing cars and we never had any spare money to enjoy life with. I enjoy life with you... You are my life Logan... You know this! Don't start feeling sorry for yourself and trying to get rid of me. It's not your problem it is our problem... Logan I love you"

"I love you too... I'm sorry Macks... I just don't want you dragged down with me. I've always been sensible with money... I loved that house... I worked so hard for everything you know." He whispered getting emotional.

"logues the house is gone, there will be other houses... There is only one Mackogan" I said with a smile.

Logan let out a laugh "your daft Kenzie" he said kissing my nose.

the rest of the day went fast, the valuation was pretty much spot on of what Logan had predicted, we just had to pray that it sold for that much to have a little deposit left for another house.

I wasnt sure how long we could stay at james' for.

Come evening it seemed almost everyone was around the bel air mansion. It was nice. I think we all needed to have a relaxed get together to come to terms with what had happened.

"they are really impressed with sheridens leg" James told the group that consisted of, savannah, Carlos, Logan and myself.

"how long will she be in hospital for?" Carlos asked

"well once the skin graft has completely taken and her other stitches are knitted together she can start physio, but it is her hip thats going to hold her down. The doctor said that she will need at least 6 weeks with only gentle movement. We are hoping to get her home sooner than that though... Sheriden can't stand it in there, she is talking about hiring a live in nurse just so she can get home faster... We have some news though" James said

"we are looking in to having a baby, adopting or surrogacy... We both want a family so bad... It's dumb to carry on as we are" he added.

"wow that's really good James" Carlos said "I'm really pleased you guys have sorted it out"

"that is brilliant James... It's better to stop Sheriden now before she starts stealing babies" savannah said

"sav!" I moaned

she smiled "what? This is Sheriden we are talking about after all" she replied

"I actually agree with savannah" James then added with a grin.

The door bell rang and James got up to answer it.

He walked back in to the room where we all sat followed by kendall.

"hey guys" kendall said quietly greeting everyone.

We all replied in our different ways, kendall sat down next to savannah on the larger of the sofas.

"where's Ophelia?" Logan asked him gently.

"my mom offered to look after her... I needed to get out the house... Thanks for the invite to the party" he said sarcastically.

"sorry man, just wasnt sure if you wanted to be on your own or not... I'm glad you have shown up though" James said.

"pais will be pissed that she is missing out on a get together" he smiled

I nodded "she did like it when we were all together" I added

Logan laughed "I will never ever forget that party at Carlos' when she sang that my chemical romance song... That was amazing" Logan smiled

"ironic though" Kendall said sadly, the boys all went quiet but savannah and I had no clue as to why the song was ironic.

"she was amazing" James then said.

"Logan you said at her bedside that you kissed paisley... What's the story on that?" I said with a smile, letting him know that he wasnt in trouble, I glanced at kendall who also had an intrigued look in his eye.

Logan smiled "it was on the tour bus, at some insane time in the morning, pais had fallen to sleep on the seats, it was dark and I just got out from the toilet, she thought I was kendall, we met up passing eachother on the bus. She kissed me, realising it wasnt kendall I just smiled at her, we had another little kiss then she let out this cute little giggle and said goodnight to me... We never mentioned it again" Logan smiled.

"you lot are fucking insane all sharing each other at some point" savannah said laughing.

We all looked at each other, it was fairly amusing that pretty much all of us had been with someone else in the group.

I looked at Carlos, he let out a laugh which made me giggle"

"we have a very special family don't we" Logan said

"fucked up family if you ask me, but I wouldn't want to change it, I love all you guys" savannah said and wrapped an arm around kendall who gave her a big smile.

_**i will post more chapters on here very soon, follow me on twitter for updates - sheridenlloyd**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Savannahs story**

Just over two weeks had passed since paisley died, today was the day of her funeral and tomorrow was my first... hopefully last, day in court giving my evidence against Marcus and Matthew Croft.

I was getting ready, I had so much on my mind, my life had so much going on in it at the moment, I had been to visit Sheriden at the hospital a couple of days ago asking her how she possibly coped with being a model, it was honestly such hard work, if you weren't being flown about all over the place for photo shoots, you were in the gym or doing interviews, plus I had agreed to be the patron for a charity for rape and sexual assault victims. That in it's self took so much out of me mentally.  
It was very rewarding though, I got to meet so many people from different walks of life.

I was a great role model for the younger girls that maybe feared that there lives were over because of what had happened to them. I felt proud that I was helping in some small way. I felt like I was changing and growing up.

The money had been rolling in for me too, Sheriden had reluctantly teamed me up with one of her other models that already campaigned for Alexander McQueen, Francesca Hamilton-Smith, she wasn't a runway model any more but she still campaigned for McQueen modelling various things.  
Sheriden was concerned that she was going to ruin my big shot by not being able to advise me when I needed her, so Francesca was enrolled to help me. She was friendly enough, we had a good few giggles along the way getting to know each other.

"baby the car is here" Carlos said.

I nodded and took a deep breath looking in the mirror, I wore a black dress with a tiny black bow in my hair that had a small veil that fell just below my eyes. I hated funeral wear but I rocked this.

We made our way to the crematorium as we searched for our seats I saw Sheriden, she was in a wheelchair already crying so much, next to her sat James who had his arm slung over the back of the chair.  
Kendall was sat with his family. Ophelia wasn't with him, not really a place for a baby I guessed.

I saw my sister with Logan just behind Sheriden, she waved at me, beckoning me over. She had secured us a seat.  
Carlos and I walked up and took our places.

The place was full, poor kendall had to make an official statement to the press declaring the death of paisley, it hasn't been easy for him because of what was already in the papers about him running off with Sheriden. All that mattered of course was that we all looked out for him. We knew he still cared deeply for paisley despite the problems they were having the time she died.

"how are you feeling?" I whispered to my sister

"awful, this is it isn't it. reality, I still can't believe she isn't going to walk in a room or shout at kendall or sing..." She whispered back to me.

"yeah I know,it's fucked up" I said a bit too loudly, some people turned to stare at me.

I leaned over to the seats in front and poked my head next to Sheriden and James  
"they let you out of hospital then?" I said softly, Sheriden was a mess.

"yeah she is hopefully staying at home tonite, see how we get on"James answered for her.

I gave Sheriden a gentle rub of the shoulder.

"how are you feeling about tomorrow?" James asked.

"fucking sick to the stomach, he could technically walk free you know... I have no idea how it's going to swing" I whispered.

"he... Will rot ...in ... Hell!" Sheriden sobbed out "don't you... Worry... Savannah" she added.

I smiled at her words and wished them true. It was my sister taking a puff from her inhaler that distracted me. Logan was trying to calm her down.

"Kenzie look... It's pais' mom" I said distracting her myself.  
both of us including Carlos and Logan turned to look at the woman that on paper gave birth to paisley, but she had never properly cared for her.  
There was a cute black guy sat next to her.  
"is that Ryan the ex?" I asked.

Mackenzie took another puff from her inhaler and nodded "yeah that's him"

"damn he is hot... Least paisley knew how to pack the good looking guys in before she died" I said, which James turned round and glared at me.

The service began, my sister and Logan seemed to be having a kind of competition of who could cry more.

It was very sad, there was a large picture of paisley at the front next to where her coffin sat. She looked beautiful with her trade mark eyeliner, I was going to miss paisley, she was fucked in the head though.

I gave Carlos' hand a squeeze.  
Once a ton of nice words had been spoken and Logan had said possibly the saddest speech that I never wanted to hear again. He had absolutely everyone crying, and laughing all at the same time. It was devastating watching him up there. But after logues had finished paisleys coffin was then taken in to be cremated.

I looked over to kendall as his last glimpse of paisley faded. He was in bits. His mom had him on her shoulder.  
I saw him look at Sheriden which made him cry even more.

We all went out to admire some of the fantastic flower arrangements that people had bought for paisley, there was the usual mommy, and friend ones, but the one that choked me up in particular was obviously from Logan. In big red and white flowers spelled out the word 'Reno'. I think everyone was going to miss hearing that word come out of logans mouth.

Carlos and I didn't stay long at the wake. I felt very uneasy as the day wound on, dreading what tomorrow would bring.

I had a shower and just lounged in my pjs.

"savs don't mope. Everything will be fine, how the hell will he ever get away with it huh... He won't so stop worrying your pretty little head about it" he finished.

"I'm scared Los" I said pulling my knees up to my chest on the sofa in the living room.

"don't be scared baby girl. Come on... I know what will cheer you up" he said pulling me up to my feet then turning around and wrapping my hands around his neck, so he was giving me a piggy back.

I laughed at him.

"Los where are you taking me" I screamed as he opened the door to the garden and carried me out on his back in to the starry night sky garden.

"we are going to have some trampoline fun he said, placing me down on to the floor then getting in to the enclosure and beckoning me in.

"Carlos...fuck... I'm really not in the mood baby, I'm sorry" I said.

"savannah get your cute little ass in here now" he said.

I sighed then walked in the trampoline enclosure.

I layed down on the trampoline pulling Carlos down with me, we stared up at the stars.

"looks so peaceful up there doesn't it" Carlos said looking at the sky.

I smiled "Carlos stop trying to butter me up and just kiss me" I said pulling him on to me.

Carlos chuckled "I love you" he whispered.

"love you more" I said back, pulling him down for a kiss.

since the boat trip to Florida Carlos and I had made love 4 times, it was almost five but once again I had ruined things, Carlos said it didn't matter but I still felt bad.

"you want to try again?" I said.

"practice makes perfect" Carlos said softly smiling at me.

I kissed him as he ran his fingers down my pyjama top then gently lifted it up.

"trampoline sex... That's a first for me" I whispered.

"snap" Carlos replied as he slowly undressed me, then undressed him self.

I giggled.

Carlos made love to me gently, it was perfect. The romance of the night sky and the beautiful Garden that lay around us.  
I ran my hand over his shoulder, his muscles made my insides melt.

Carlos kissed my neck, whispering cute little things in my ear of how beautiful I am, the sound if his sexy whispers only adding to my pleasure.

My hands found their way down to his backside, feeling it as he moved on top if me was heaven, my Carlos was perfect, so fucking sexy.

I just prayed he wouldn't get bored with our simple sex life, but even though it was simple he still sent me to the edge each and every time.

After, Carlos wrapped his shirt over me, then rested his head in the crook of my neck.

"geez, trampoline sex has killed my knees, feels like they have been cheese grated" he laughed. "are you warm enough?" Carlos finished.

"yeah I'm fine Los" I smiled.

"good" he grinned back, I looked at him quickly, he made eye contact with me.  
"what's up savannah?" He said knowingly.

"nothing is up" I said.

"what is it? Baby tell me" he whispered now sitting up.

"I can't take you seriously like that Los, put your pants back on" I said slipping his shirt over me, it was absolutely huge on my body

Carlos did as he was instructed and pulled his pants back on, I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"what's bothering you sav?" He said "we are doing okay aren't we?" He added.

"oh Los... No it's nothing like that... Fucksake, no we are great, me and you. I was just thinking about what I used to be like and wondered if I could ever do shit like that again... With you" I explained.

"what do you mean?" He smiled.

"I think you know what I mean. Don't you get fed up that our sex it's so straight forward... I mean... Shit, this is coming out wrong... It's amazing, what you do to me is amazing, and I've never felt things that I've felt with you but I used to be so sexy... Dirty you know... Wouldn't you like that. I miss how I was Los"

"course I would love it sav, your a sexy little fiery ball of... Fucking loveliness. I can't wait for when your ready to do what you wanna do, but it's just going to take time, no point rushing in and not enjoying each other huh" he said.

"I think I'm worried that I'm too dirty for you to be myself" I smiled.

Carlos grinned at me "I doubt that baby... I can do dirty... What's classed at dirty in your mind then.

"well I've done some freaky ass shit in my time but I've always liked... Toys.. You know" I finished blushing.

"ah I get your meaning now... Yeah toys are good... I'm not sure I would feel comfy putting things in you sav... Least not yet... It's early days" he smiled.

I laughed and gave him my sexy look "I meant in you Los" I said seriously

Carlos looked at me like I was the devil, I then started laughing.  
"I'm winding you up Carlos, I wouldn't mind you playing with me with some toys... You're calculated and I trust you"

"your a bitch savs" Carlos laughed. "I will look forward to playing with you someday though... I'm glad we can talk like this... It makes the difference I think" he said.

We went to bed soon after that, surprisingly I slept well, I woke up to my alarm sounding just after seven, I went out for a run then showered and got ready for my court appearance.

Carlos was very supportive, he kept me talking, kept me positive.  
I did throw up just before we left the house though. it was going to be the first time I was going to be in the same place as Matthew croft since I was raped.

Once we arrived I was taken in to a separate room, I would be doing my part by camera, I was advised to do this to not upset myself unnecessarily by seeing Matthew croft.  
Carlos sat in a chair at the side of the room with me. I waited for the prosecution barrister to forward his questions to me via video camera on a screen.

when it was my turn to speak I had to relay all of the awful things that happened to me. They asked for every sordid detail. I was handed a tissue as it all became too much.

after a while the defence barrister for Matthew croft then started to gather the other side of events. It was this that I was scared of, it was the fact that I was technically running around giving blow jobs to men for money so I could buy a dress that got me in the situation in the first place.

"Mrs Pena... Were you a regular at the time and envy night club?" I was asked.

"no I had only been there a few times, I didn't live in LA at the time, I was visiting my sister" I replied.

"how did you end up around the back of the night club with the two brothers Mrs Pena?"

"I got talking to Marcus and we agreed to go out the back and ... get friendly" I lied.

"so how did Matthew croft end up going with you?"

"Marcus told me it was his friends birthday, I was drunk, I'm ashamed to say that I agreed to make out with both the boys, so we left and went around the back." I lied again. I didn't want to lie but if I said the truth I would be giving the impression that I was a prostitute.

"Matthew croft was told by his brother that you agreed to perform oral sex on both the men for money... Is this true" the barrister asked.

I took a deep breath "no that is not true, Marcus spoke privatly to his brother before we left the club, I was aware that I would be kissing them... when I saw Marcus croft undressing I got scared and said I should leave... Both men then pinned me down. I have no clue what lies Marcus croft told his brother... It does pain me that he is now dead and can't serve the sentence he is due for the things he did to me" I cried, dabbing my eyes with a tissue.

"do you feel it's convenient that you reported the rape after Marcus was killed which your good friend Sheriden maslow is a key suspect in... So he nor his brother now can tell their own story of events that can back each other up?" The barrister said harshly.

"that is irrelevant questioning" the judge then called out.

The questions kept coming, I refused to look at or listen to what Matthew croft had to say, I didn't want to see his face or hear his voice again as long as I lived.

The time crept by slowly as I sat in that room with Carlos. My sister and Logan were in the main court room listening to the entire story.  
Emotion over whelmed me and I became a crying mess. I refused to listen to what was happening, I was warned it could go on for days.  
I began panicking, I felt sure he was going to be set free after what the defence barrister had said.

"Los I can't breathe" I wheezed

"savannah stop panicking, everything will be fine."

There was a knock at the door shortly after. Some suited people walked in but I saw Logan first then my sister behind him, she threw herself over me, and wiped my tears away from my wet face.

"you did it sav... You did it" she said.

I looked at Carlos "what happened? We didn't see... was it adjourned?" Carlos said now budging my sister out of the way and taking me in his arms.

My sister clapped her hands over her mouth with tears streaming down her face " dear lord... Savannah he pleaded guilty... He was sentenced to 12 years in prison, the evidence that the other girls had already given was too much for him to worm his way out of... 12 years savannah!" She beamed.

I was elated. I laughed out loud, I felt I could walk freely down the street and not panic that I would see his face.

Carlos squeezed the life out of me. He held my head in his hands, he was crying "your amazing. We got him savs... We got that fucking bastard" he said then kissed me.  
i then broke down in hysterical joyful tears.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sheridens story**

I was finally in my lovely home again, it was a shame that I couldn't go up stairs and an even bigger shame the reason that I was out of hospital so early... Paisleys funeral

The funeral was lovely, it was very heart felt, I cried the complete way through and had Logan practically in my lap as he cried after the service.  
Kendall was with his mother all the time. It wasn't until James helped me out of the car at the wake that I saw him on his own and he made his way over.  
The wake was being held at a country club, surrounded by beautiful gardens... Paisley would of loved it.

"Sheri, James... How are you guys? I've not seen you for a while" kendall said as he walked up.

"we are doing okay... The service was nice, Logan did well huh" James replied.

"yeah... Yeah he did" kendall said.

"oh for fucks sake kendall give me a hug" I snapped getting emotional.

Kendall bent down and gave me a delicate hug, I gave him the best squeeze back that I could master from my strapped up arm and my wheel chair bound body.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

kendall just gave me a smile as he pulled out from the hug.  
A lot of other people were arriving. "Ophelia will be here soon, I know she is missing both you guys, so feel free to make a fuss of her" he said giving James a pat on the arm

"thanks man" James replied and kendall walked off to greet other people that had arrived to celebrate the life of my once very good friend paisley prince.

I started crying again.

"Sheriden come on, pais wouldn't want you to get upset" James said then wheeled me in the direction of the function room.

Amberleigh Scott found James and just collapsed in tears on him. She was a good friend of paisleys and had worked on all of her songs in the studio with James.  
between the three of them they made paisley who she was.

It was a sad sight to see.

James let go of amberleigh and gave her an excuse to go then walked over to a very tall dark and handsome man. I guessed it was Ryan, paisleys ex. He had once smashed in James' farrari that he had rented, so I wasnt sure what James was up to going to speak to him.

But the two boys shook hands and James obviously offered Ryan some kind words. He did look very sad. Ryan introduced James to a trashy looking blonde woman.  
James just nodded in response to her hello, there were no handshakes.

James made his way back to amberleigh and I.  
"who was the woman?" I asked.

"paisleys mom" James said.

I took another good look at paisleys mother. She was wearing black skinny jeans and knee high boots. A hideous floral shirt that showed off some tragic sagging cleavage. Her face was severe, not a friendly face like paisley had, I honestly couldn't see any resemblances between the two of them.

Savannah and Carlos arrived. She looked on edge, once again clinging on to Carlos. She always did that when she was worried or in a situation she couldn't handle.

"hey shoo, hopefully you won't be in this chair for long huh" Carlos said eyeing up my wheel chair that James had specially shipped in for me so I didn't have to look dull in the normal hospital issued one.  
The one that James had got was silver and pink, all the metal work was a brilliant shiny silver, and the handles, seat, and wheel rims were bubblegum pink.

James said it was the cutest one he could find at short notice. I cried when I saw it waiting for me at bel air this morning. James was so thoughtful all the time.

"it could be a while... But whatever happens its going to be fine... Savannah isn't it about time you bought your own set of sexy wheels instead of Carlos being your personal chauffeur all the time" I said to her.

She looked up at Carlos and gave him a weak smile.

Carlos rolled his eyes.

"have I missed something?" I said at the non verbal communication they were sending each other.

"I don't have a drivers license anymore Sheriden" she said sheepishly.

"what? Since when?" I asked.

"since just after my birthday, it was Carlos' fault not mine... He got caught speeding but I took the blame... We switched seats... It was kind of the beginning of us... Wasnt it Los?" She said looking up at him with her dream like smile that Carlos made her do.

"yeah it was... Even though I hated you" he laughed and gave her a kiss.

The wake went on for some time, James had a good cuddle from Ophelia when the nanny that Kendall had hired showed up with her. She did seem pleased to see my face. Her poor little life must be so confusing with all these faces that come and go all the time. The only person she really had was her Daddy, I hoped they would always be so close.

Savannah and Carlos left early, and James was talking to Logan, I had offered to sit with Ophelia who was sleeping in her pram.

I noticed kendalls mom talking to paisleys trashy mother.

I wondered what they could be possibly chatting about, probably slagging someone off... Two evil bitches together.

"paisley did well for her self in the end I guess I should be proud" I heard the tail end of what paisleys mother said.

"you should be she was a lovely girl... Have you met the baby?" Kathy said.

"no, she never contacted me, it was only when I bumped in to Ryan that he would tell me the little things he knew" she slurred, she swayed as she spoke and some of her drink spilled over the top of her glass and on to the floor.

Kathy looked over to me where I sat next to Ophelia.  
"well come and meet her" Kathy said

The two women came towards me. They looked at the sleeping Ophelia.

"she is beautiful isn't she?" Kathy said cooing over her granddaughter.

"she sure is" paisleys mom said putting her glass on the table next to us and reaching in to pick Ophelia up.

"no! She is asleep, don't touch her" I snapped.

Kathy glared at me.  
"Sheriden its her grandmother, stop acting like your in charge"

"I am in charge though. Kendall left me in charge while she is sleeping... And I knew paisley well enough that she wouldn't want this woman anywhere near her daughter... Paisley hated you!" I spat at the trash woman that stood in front of me.

"Sheriden, paisley is gone, and all that is left behind for her mother to remember her is Ophelia... Don't be spiteful" Kathy said calmly.

"Na, you all are okay, I don't mean to start any fights." Paisleys mom said picking up her drink again.

Logan walked over to the scene as James had left him to talk to other people.  
"everything okay princess" he said looking at me.

"not really, I was just trying to explain that paisley wouldn't want Ophelia to have anything to do with this woman!" I said looking at paisleys mom.

"and I'm trying to explain that a grandmother has rights" Kathy hissed.

"she wasn't even a mother to paisley, let alone let her take the title of grandmother for Ophelia. I have more rights over this child than she does" I said looking up to them, I so wish I could stand up.

"I doubt that" Kathy said.

"I beg to differ but my husband and I are ophelias family, both kendall and paisley made it clear that if anything happened to them then Ophelia should be brought up by us" I explained.

"over my dead body" Kathy said and stormed off to obviously have words with her son.

"I'm Logan... This is Sheriden. We were very good friends of your daughter" Logan said.

"charmed to meet you, my name is Chrissy. do you know if paisley had a will? I was just wondering... Er... Kathy was it? Well she said that paisley had done quite nicely for herself. I wasnt sure if paisley would of left anything for me"

Logan looked at me.  
"she was twenty years old, I seriously doubt she had left a will but I will make it my personal goal in life that you will not get your hands on anything that paisley achieved, that includes her money, her things and her daughter. I suggest you leave now before you upset people with your drunken shit" Logan said staring at her.

The woman left with her glass in her hand.

"thanks for that" I said.

"no problem... You look tired did you want to get off home" Logan asked.

"yeah I think I would love that... Are you okay? Today had been rough hasn't it!" I replied.

"very rough... Me and kenz would like to talk to both you and James too princess" Logan said seriously

I looked at him and nodded, I was aware that Logan was having some drastic financial problems, I guessed he was going to ask to borrow some money. Which was fine, both him and Mackenzie were still staying in our house in bel air.  
I think Logan probably would of been okay but last week James told me Logan had just discovered he had under payed his tax from various things and he was basically in a very sticky situation now trying to come up with any form of cashflow.

We said our goodbyes to kendall, who asked if we could take Ophelia with us. I think he just wanted to get drunk, and his mother had obviously pissed him off  
Logan jumped at the chance to baby sit.

It took me a good few minutes to get in to the car, but James and I soon made our way back to bel air, I gave Mackenzie a wave as they drove passed us in the parking lot of the country club on the way out

I came home and saw Mackenzie sat holding Ophelia who was drinking her milk.

"what did you guys want to talk about then?" James asked, as he eased me down in to a comfy chair, then sat down opposite me.

Logan and Mackenzie looked at eachother.  
"well where do we start?... Erm, well you guys know that we are in a bit of a tight spot...financially" Logan said.

James looked at me, I gave him a smile, we had guessed that this would be the topic of conversation when we discussed it in the car on the way home.

"logues honestly its fine, I can transfer what ever you need... Pay it back whenever you like, Sheriden and I won't see you guys suffer because of what happened, we have all worked so hard to get where we are... How much do you need?" James asked.

"well its not as simple as that, if it was just me then I would snap your hand off, but Kenzie feels uncomfortable just asking for money and honestly doesn't want just a hand out" Logan said.

"so... What exactly are you getting at then Logan?" I asked confused.

"well James has left a lot of stuff lying about lately that Mackenzie had seen... Basically she wants to help you guys out of your problem so that you can help us" Logan said

I looked at James confused. What problem had James got that he left lying about the house?

"Sheriden... I'm not even sure how to say this" Mackenzie said "I hope you don't find it offensive because Logan and I honestly are only suggesting it to help everyone... Basically ... Well I would like to offer to be a surrogate for you and James to have a baby, in return you could pay us... For the service, so to speak" she said

I looked at James, he looked just as shocked as me

"that is quite an offer... Have you seriously talked and done your research in to this?" I said taken aback, I seriously wasn't expecting that.

they both nodded.  
"we have really done our home work on it the last few days. Feel free to have any tests done on me, apart from my asthma I'm as healthy as the next person..." She said.

James still had a look of shock on his face.  
"what do you think James?" Logan said.

"I think ... I'm not sure what I think... Its the kindest thing I've ever heard in my life" James said getting emotional.

"we can write up a contract, and find a lawyer that specialises in surrogacy and then get going with the treatment... if all is well you could have a baby that is related to both of you" Logan said smiling

"what if it wasn't possible to use my eggs for it to be totally my baby?" I asked, I was paranoid that my fertility wasnt great, I knew I had skipped about 4 periods in the last year from stress and poor health.

"then we would prefer to use doner eggs. Mackenzie doesnt wish to be related to the baby... Obviously that would be hard to hand over a child knowing you were its mother" Logan answered

"how much money would you like to do this Mackenzie. " I asked.

"well just to cover the amount of the house, 450 thousand dollars, I know that's its a lot, but ... Well it would really help us" she replied.

I looked at James, clearly this was to be the best thing we had ever spent money on"Mackenzie have you seriously thought about this... Your body will never be the same... Are you sure?" James said.

"I'm absolutely sure... Truth is, I would like to do this. I know we haven't all always seen eye to eye but you guys have helped Logan and my sister so much, you are nice people" she replied.

I looked at James.  
"do you guys mind if we had a chat in private" I said to Logan and Mackenzie.

"sure take all the time you need, we will try and get this one to sleep" Logan said then him and Mackenzie left the room with Ophelia.

James and I stared at each other for a while.  
"what do you think?" I asked.

"its amazing... What do you think?" He asked.

"it is amazing. Just worries me that we are friends with them. I always thought that strangers kind of did that thing. Mackenzie would always be around to see the baby grow... Its weird" I replied.

"its not weird, they wouldn't be related at all, she would just be the host Sheri" he said excitedly.

"you wanna do this then?" I said

"I really think this is an excellent idea... I'm for it... You?" He asked.

I smiled "let's make a baby then" I giggled.

James gave me a gentle hug and a kiss, we talked over some other points regarding the payment then got Logan and Mackenzie back in to the room and sat them down.

"we would like to accept your very very kind offer Mackenzie... We will put the 450 thousand in the bank when a contract is drawn up, when you fall pregnant we will then place another 750 thousand in to the bank for you and Logan to buy a truly amazing house and start afresh, I'm hoping that should take you back to some financial comfort before the house caused you problems until then you are very welcome to stay here"

"that's really not necessary for more money guys." Logan said.

"no, we insist, its only money, and you guys are hopefully giving us the one thing I thought I couldn't buy... Thankyou... So much" I said getting tearful.

Mackenzie came over to me and gave me a hug.

with Ophelia asleep the four of us then talked excitedly about what the future would now hold. We each discussed what we would like to have written in to a contract being as honest as we possibly can be to avoid any pitfalls that could arise.

The next morning joy made way for fear, I had just phoned savannah wishing her love and luck in court today, I was feeling okay until James brought in my mail with my own court date, the hearing wasn't for another 5 months.

I was hoping more five weeks than five months. I hated it hanging over my head, especially now I had the prospect of a baby to look forward to.

"what do we do James? Do we wait until after the court hearing to start treatment with Mackenzie... I'm gutted! pregnancy lasts for so long as it is let alone trying to get her pregnant in the first place" I moaned laying in my bed that James had moved down in to one of the reception rooms. He had moved the entire bedroom down here and must of stored all the furniture that was in here up stairs.  
The only thing I couldn't get to was my clothes, but I couldn't dress myself anyway so it didn't really matter.

"Sheriden the question is do you think you're going to get in to trouble for it... You won't tell me anything so I can't help you decide... I find it hard to believe that you, kendall and Mackenzie all knew his days were numbered but didn't care... I know what he did was wrong but so is killing someone" he said

"I don't think they can charge me with anything, they have no evidence on me, not for actual murder anyway" I replied quietly.

"who did do it Sheriden? the only person that I can think of is Bobby, but I guess he didn't or the police would have got it out of him by now" James mused.

"it wasn't Bobby, James! Bobby wouldn't do that" I said thinking of my massive body guard Bobby who looked the part but honestly wouldn't hurt a fly.

"who did do it Sheri?" James asked

"I can't tell you baby... Im sorry" I replied.

James looked at me for a few minutes before taking my hand and getting back to the original conversation.

"maybe... if they do find anything that they think can convict you of playing any part in this they would be lenient if they knew there was a child on the way?" James finally said.

"you want to carry on with it?" I smiled.

"yeah... Yeah I do, any sense in my head seems to have gone Sheri, we should wait but I want this so bad" he smiled.

"I love you jimbo" I said softly

"love you too" he said leaning in to kiss me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Mackenzies story**

Well things have gone from bad to worse for Logan and I lately, first of all the earthquake ruined the house, it has been completely demolished now, that was a sad sight to watch, then paisley died, her funeral is in a few days time, my beloved beauty salon is up for sale because we needed to raise a load of money that we had lost that was tied in to the house, even though there is no house we still need to pay the mortgage that Logan took out on it plus all the other debts and try and find somewhere else to live. Paisleys funeral was in a few days, she was going to be cremated.

We thought we would just about scrape through but because Logan had been phoning anyone and everyone trying to gain information he needed on the property, it unearthed a load more problems that we could of done with out.

It would appear that Logan had been drastically under paying his property tax since he had first bought the house and completely renovated it with sheridens help, because he had been digging about with what the property was worth and the insurance of the belongings the question of his actual property tax came up and it seemed poor Logan was now being charged with a huge amount of money that we just didn't have.

We didn't have a clue what we were going to do, all our savings were either tied in to something else or gone.

James was at the hospital as usual sitting with Sheriden, so Logan and I had the entire mansion to ourselves, I didn't mind living here, it was beautiful, I wasnt sure how I would cope with it when Sheriden was out of hospital though. Which would hopefully be soon.

We were sat in the living room with our puppy dude.  
"what about your parents could they not help you logues? I could ask my dad for a loan, it won't be massive but he is fairly well off" I said as I stroked the dogs ears.

"no way am I asking your dad for money, my parents don't have nearly enough that would make any difference, I doubt your dad would either Kenzie. Fact is even when the salon sells we are still going to be fucked... I'm worrying that after everything and the band pretty much finished that I'm gonna end up worse than what I started off with... I could end up bankrupt Kenzie. I just can't see any way out of it"

I leaned my head on his shoulder "well whatever happens if your rich or poor I will always love you baby" I whispered.

"thanks Kenzie... I love you baby girl, just wish there was a way we could make a load of money and be okay again... I might have to start selling my body" he joked with a wink.

"I would rather sell my body than let another girl go near your perfectness, but I don't think there is gonna be a Richard gere type that's will fork out 400 grand for me" I said kissing his shoulder.

"I would pay 400 grand for you easy... Lucky I get you for free though huh" he smiled.

"it is funny what people pay ridiculous money for, have you read some of that stuff that James has printed off?" I asked pointing at the fairly large stack of paper that lay on the side board.

"no I haven't... You shouldn't be reading there stuff either Kenzie" he scolded me.

"its nothing personal, I was just tidying up, there are people that have paid thousands for a baby, I dread to think what they will end up parting with to get one... Its madness" I sighed.

"yeah it is a shame that we all have these problems going on, still I would rather have no money and be able to have a baby with you than have so much money like they do and have to go through what they have to do to get one" Logan said moving his arm out and wrapping it round me.

"your cute logues, thinking of all this stuff... Don't get broody yet though I have no desire to get tied down to motherhood just yet, I want to enjoy my life, experience everything" I said

"well that's good cause I wouldn't want any for a while yet anyway but its nice to have the option, I feel so sorry for Sheriden... She would be a great mom" he sighed.

"maybe we could steal a kid from somewhere and sell it to them... Kill two birds with one stone then" Logan smiled.

my mind whirred at those words that had just left Logans lips. I got up and picked the print offs up that James had done.

"logues I could do this..." I said reading through the papers.

Logan raised his eyebrows "Kenzie don't talk shit, your not having a baby for them, when we have a baby we are keeping it, I'm not gonna watch as some Mackenzie/James mashup grows up... Its a shit idea." Logan said.

"but baby that's not how it works, read it! I shoved some of the paper work underneath Logans nose.

"Look, it says here that both sheridens and James reproductive systems can be used. I wouldn't be any relation to the baby logues... I would just be growing it for them"

Logan then read the text on the papers "it says most surrogate mothers find it offensive to be offered payment and just generally ask for the medical bills to be paid..." He said.

"I don't find it offensive Logan, I find it a necessity... I think we should do this, let's be honest James and Sheriden are the only people that are going to be able to help us unless you have any other multi millionaires classed as close friends?"

"having a baby though kenz... Its crazy"

"its not crazy, you love Sheriden and James, imagine being able to give them the one thing they want." I argued

Logan looked at me, he looked concerned. "let me read all this then" he said finally.

Logan spent ages reading through it all, he even got James' laptop out and googled a load more facts and legal jargon.

"okay... If you are one hundred and ten percent sure that you want to do this then I will support you, but I want a contract written out. and under no circumstances do I want you to be related to the baby, if we asked for the amount that the house was worth we should be able to drag ourselves out of this mess in a few years... They would be paying well over the odds for a kid but I think they will like the idea its us than a stranger..." He said.

"when do we say to them?" I asked.

"when she is home I guess... you know we won't be able to have sex once ivf has started don't you kenz... I think James would be pissed off if his kid looked remarkably like me" he grinned.

"yeah I know, its a massive sacrifice, I will get fat and covered in stretch marks while Sheriden stays looking amazing." I said

"I think I might like you fat" he grinned again.

"do you think you will cope with not having sex? Its only until I get pregnant though... You would still have sex with me after I get pregnant wouldn't you?" I asked sceptically.

"course I would... Baby doing this wouldn't make me feel differently about you, your willing to have a baby for someone you don't really care for to get me out of trouble with my money problem... That's huge Kenzie. I love you"

"you better not get bored of me elsewhere down the line logues, I'm committing to you doing this, this is bigger than getting married" I stressed at him.

"Mackenzie I have no desire to leave you, your everything that I want and everything that I need in a girl... This is it for us yeah. I love you" he Said earnestly.

I gave him a kiss.

The days passed and paisleys funeral came, Logan found it very hard. I had really underestimated the friendship he shared with paisley, I guess that they just clicked. Two little peas in a pod. He missed her so much, he would often wake up drenched in sweat reliving the earthquake in his dreams. He had so much on his plate.

We talked over the surrogacy plans with Sheriden and James, and planned to meet with her lawyer within the week, obviously they wanted things done quickly... So did Logan and I.

the day that we went to meet with the lawyer James was unwell. I got a shock when Carlos wheeled Sheriden in to the meeting room.

" I hope you don't mind that Carlos is with me, James is layed up with the flu. I need someone to help me get about" she said.

Logan and I hadn't told anyone about this, now Carlos knew and I expect my sister did too... I expect a phone call from my father would be coming sooner than later now then.

"its fine, have you seen kendall lately?" Logan asked her as we all waited for our attorneys to walk in the room.

"yeah he came over last night with phee, he is doing okay, and he is going to savannahs party. It was a good result for her wasnt it, 12 years for that scum bag" Sheriden said

"yeah she was so pleased, I'm surprised she is throwing a party though" I confessed.

"that was more my idea, its not just for the court hearing, she missed out on doing something for her 18th and we haven't really celebrated getting married yet... She is slowly gaining her confidence back. I think a party surrounded by her friends and family will be good for her" Carlos said.

I nodded, not sure if Carlos was having a go at me as it was my fault that sav didn't do anything for her 18th and probably my fault again that no one celebrated their wedding.

Sheridens lawyer walked in the room.

"good afternoon all... Sorry I am running a bit behind today. for those that don't know I am Michael Garrie, I specialise in surrogate law. " he began with, and handed us all out pieces of paper, I quickly read through the finer points that would be included in James and sheridens agreement with me.

as the meeting went on, what sheridens and James wanted came out, this included some of the things that they hadn't discussed with Logan and I, such as testing for downs syndrome and if any life threatening condition or disability was detected on a scan or test then they would have the right to terminate the pregnancy if they felt it necessary, obviously wanting a healthy baby.

They would Like me to take a medical exam before any treatment began and get tested for various diseases and infections.

both Logan and I were declared as the surrogate couple and Sheriden and James were known as the intended couple. The only problem that the lawyer came up with was that I was under 21, but this was waived as by the time I would give birth to any child I would be of legal age seeing as my 21st birthday was 5 months away.

As the lawyer wrote things down, Logan declared that if something tragic did happen then he wanted Sheriden to insure my life for the term of the pregnancy for 800 thousand dollars, she agreed to this with a wave of her hand, like the amount of insurance didn't really matter.

as well as paying the 450 thousand dollars on me signing the contract agreement, and the 750 thousand dollars once i fell pregnant and delivered a healthy baby, Sheriden and James were also offering to pay me my loss of income for the entire 9 months as they did not want me to return to work once announced pregnant.

Logan and I were set to make a lot of money.


	21. Chapter 21

**Savannahs story**

Carlos has insisted that we throw a party to celebrate Matthew croft being sent to prison.  
It truly was something to celebrate but I felt it bad timing as paisley had only just had her funeral 3 weeks ago, Carlos phoned kendall up, he didn't seem to mind, and even said that he would go.

It was something good to occupy my mind with though, Carlos was hell bent on putting everything behind us and starting afresh. He was so determined, I really dread to think what would become of me if he hadn't of been there for me after the rape.

I had invited pretty much every one I knew to the party, including my parents and their partners, some of my close friends from Portland and Idaho, and some people who I couldn't stand just to show Carlos off to.  
I chose a beautiful black dress to wear, it was pulled in very tight around my waist and short enough to show off my now very sexy looking legs.  
Along with modelling came a load of work to be done on my part with looking after my body, Carlos helped me understand a lot about fitness and diet.

I had always been slim but now I had spent a while in the gym and went for a run twice a day you could very much notice the difference in how my body was toned.  
I didn't mind the gym as much as I thought I would, Carlos basically explained that the more time I spent there the more crap I could still eat. This was a good philosophy as both Carlos and I loved to eat stuff that wasn't always healthy, so each Saturday night we would treat our selves and Sunday we would spend working it off in the gym... And if the mood striked me I would treat Carlos to some attention in the bedroom.

Sex was getting easier for me, I had come on leaps and bounds experimenting with Carlos in the bedroom. I was now a lot more like my old self but the difference being in an actual loving relationship instead of just sex made such a difference.

Carlos was an amazing lover, he put his heart and soul in to making love to me.  
I loved him so much, I was nervous how my dad would react meeting him. I knew for a fact that dad absolutely hated Logan, and Logan was the nice guy... Carlos was insane to talk to with all his wazzups.  
But truthfully I didn't care.

The day of the party had arrived and I had just finished doing my nails, I was dressed and Mackenzie was curling my hair. we sat in the kitchen with Carlos and Logan, the four of us got along okay now, well Carlos and Mackenzie wouldn't purposely chat together but they both participated in getting along with one another.

I noticed some eye contact and nodding had been going silently on around me between the three of them for several minutes.

"what is it? Just fucking tell me?" I finally said.

Again all three of them looked at each other.

"its nothing really but Carlos found something out about Sheriden and he doesn't want to keep it from you any longer, even though Logan and I didn't really want him to tell you just yet" Mackenzie said.

"what? Is she okay? She isn't fucking kendall still is she?" I asked confused.

"no... No nothing like that sav" Logan said and then sat down next to me, he looked up at my sister quickly who was still finishing my hair.

He continued "you know how Sheriden and James want a baby, and how Mackenzie and I need a bit of help in the cash flow department... Well we have combined the two problems and decided to solve each others... Sav... Mackenzie starts ivf next month so she can get pregnant for James and Sheriden to have the baby" Logan finished, I could feel a lot of eyes on me.

I turned my head to look at my sister. I think my mouth was gaping open in shock.

"fuck" were the only words that left my mouth.

"how do you feel about it, you are the first person we have told" Mackenzie said

"so I will be an auntie?..." I asked confused.

Carlos then came and sat next to me. "yeah you will be an aunty, but it will be sheridens baby, not Mackenzies, Sheriden and James will be the genetic parents... Not Mackenzie, so Sheriden being my 'sister' will be the reason that you are an aunty, not that Mackenzie had the baby" Carlos said.

"wow! This is insane... You're having a baby for Sheriden? That is the nicest thing I think I've ever fucking heard... She is paying you?" I asked.

"yes" Logan answered "but we didn't want it advertised, so if you can not say anything about my money issues that would be great" Logan concluded.

"no course not, shit... This is mental. So you could be pregnant next month?" I said looking at my sister.

"its possible yeah, Logan and I had to be tested for a million things the other day" Mackenzie said now turning a bit red, and gave Carlos a sideways glance "Sheriden and I have been put on a pill so that our periods fall at the same time, the doctors do their bit of mixing up james'... You know" she laughed "and sheridens eggs then they get implanted in to me after a few days" she explained.

"I think its amazing... Really fucking amazing guys. I love Sheriden to bits, I'm so glad that your helping her" I beamed.

Carlos gave me a kiss then stood up again so that Mackenzie could finish doing my hair with some space.

"you're not telling people tonight are you?" I asked.

"no we won't tell anyone until a baby is on the way" Logan said smiling at Kenzie, I then smelt a terrifying smell that reminded me of the night I was raped, and realised that Logan had a beer in his hand.

"Logan ... Sorry could you move, I can't stand that smell" I said quietly.

Logan looked offended for a second then realised what he had done wrong "shit sav, I'm sorry! I didn't even think" he said getting up and pouring it down the sink "kenz said I could drink tonite do I brought these with me" he explained then poured himself out a vodka, mixing it with orange.

"its fine, I just can't stand the smell any more... How come you are letting him drink, I thought he was banned" I said looking up at my sister.

"today is a special day... And besides a drunk Logan can piss dad off more than a sober one" she smiled.

I laughed "true, I wonder what he will make of you baby" I said to Carlos.  
Carlos was currently slouched up against one of the counters in the kitchen just passed the door. He looked fucking adorable, he was dressed very casual with just a basketball vest on, pants and a red snapback cap, where as I looked very formal. Logan wasnt dressed up really though either, he just had a black tee on and pants, his base ball cap on back to front where Mackenzie looked really cute in a sparkly top and black smart shorts, her long sleek and shiny brown hair now poker straight, as opposed to how she usually wore it with a wave.

"done" she announced as she had finished curling my hair. She gave it a spray then I got off my seat and inspected her efforts in the mirror that hung in Carlos' dining room.

It was a lovely day for a party, I did want to have it somewhere else but Carlos said he enjoyed hosting them so we were holding it at our house, it was going to be relaxed, music, drinks.  
I was already half cut before any of the guests arrived, so was Logan. He was hilarious drunk, Logan was jumping on the trampoline with Mackenzie just watching when the door bell chimed with my first load of party goers, Carlos let them in, it was kendall... And Ophelia.  
"I thought you was getting a sitter?" I heard Carlos say.

"Sheriden and James are gonna help me" he simply said then walked over to me.

"hey savannah... You're looking very... catwalk now" he said giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"thanks... I think" I laughed patting down my dress. I held Ophelia for a little bit until Logan came over and stole her from me.

a bunch of friends from Portland showed up soon after, I understood what kendall had said about looking catwalk now, my Portland friends all looked great, and I used to dress very similar but you could tell the difference in life style immediately by comparing the clothes, even Carlos and Logan oozed out more style dressed as they were.

My modelling friend that Sheriden had appointed me then turned up, Francesca, or Fran as she liked to be known, she was a bit stuck up I had decided. friendly, but she loved herself, she reminded me of Sheriden a little bit with her mannerisms, maybe that's how all models are, and I will shortly turn in to a person like that once I have lived the lifestyle long enough.

I would say that Fran was prettier than me, she had long curly blonde hair and possibly the biggest eyes I had ever seen, they were amazing. But at 25 I just pipped her at the post because I was younger I had decided.

I left her in the kitchen whilst I answered the door to another guest. My dad, his partner heather who was only 27 and Sean, my baby brother.

"oh my God... Look at him now, he is getting huge... And walking!" I said excitedly.

"how are you sav?" My dad said giving me a hug and a kiss.

I knew he was more enquiring in to how I was after being raped and having to go to court rather than just asking about my general well being.

"I'm doing okay dad... Thanks" I said giving him a smile, then giving heather an air kiss. I really struggled to get along with heather, Mackenzie seemed to get on with her okay but I blamed heather for my parents splitting up, she used to be dads secretary and knew he was married, we only found out about the affair when dad had to come clean when heather got pregnant with Sean.

"so when do we get to meet my new son in law then?" Dad asked raising an eyebrow.

"he is through here" I said walking in to the kitchen, to find Carlos, Fran and kendall, who had Ophelia again, chatting whilst Logan and Mackenzie made out up against the kitchen counter.  
Clearly a stage show to piss dad off, he did deserve it though.

"erm... Kenz... Dad is here" I said giving Logans leg a kick from behind as my sister was unobtainable pinned up against the counter by him.

both her and Logan parted there lips from each other.

"hey" Mackenzie said coldly to our dad.

"Macks... How are you? you don't call me anymore" my dad Said to her.

"no I've been busy trying to sort things out with Logan and his house... How is Sean?" She asked looking at Sean who was stood next to heather holding her hand.

"Sean is fine, you're lucky you didn't die in that house, I knew he would be bad news for you" dad said looking at Logan.

"dad..." I said. "please don't start, its my party" I reasoned.

dad just nodded at me.

"I am lucky yes, I wish all of us could of had mine and Logans luck" Mackenzie replied taking Logan firmly by the hand, I noticed Logan just had this odd smirk on his face, he was really clearly pissed, and just appeared to be waiting for his turn to speak which my father didn't give him the option of

I pulled dad away and led him over to where Carlos stood talking to Fran and kendall.

"Los... This is my dad... Kevin, dad this is Carlos... My husband" I said quietly.

"I've heard a lot about you" Carlos said shaking my dads hand.

"likewise... I will be forever grateful to you for looking after savannah when she needed it most. She tells me how remarkable you have been for her" dad said.

I looked over my shoulder to see Mackenzies pissed off face, I expect that just like her making out stunt she just pulled, my dad was now pulling a better one of playing our boys off against each other.

The door chimed again, Logan offered to answer it for us though as Carlos and I carried on with our get to know you chat with my dad.

A few moments later James and Sheriden came in, Sheriden looked beautiful, her brown hair piled on her head in an amazing up do, she wore a very pretty white dress, she had obviously chosen white so she would look cute in her chrome and pink wheelchair. She did look great, the only thing spoiling it was the metal brace she wore around her really bad leg and the cast she had on the other, her arms were free now, she had broken her wrist, and dislocated her shoulder but she seemed to look on the mend arm wise.

I introduced Sheriden to my dad as she was the one responsible for landing me such an amazing job, and she also helped me after the rape.

friends from Idaho soon arrived, followed by my mom and her boyfriend, that's when things got fun for Mackenzie as mom loved Logan, they got on well, the atmosphere between my parents could be cut with a knife.

Carlos' family arrived. I think introducing his parents to my parents was the weirdest experience of my life, they couldn't of been more different, but I guess Carlos and I were different too.

Sheriden was holding Ophelia, I gathered it was the first time she had held her since the earthquake, as kendall was making a bit of a fuss over her.

I thought to my self that James must be safe in the knowledge that his Dick is much bigger than kendalls to allow them to be so close and pally still. If Carlos ever slept with anyone else I wouldn't want him to see her again.

I was really quite drunk, and very merry, I had spoken with most of my guests, and had a good catch up with my friends from home, the ones that didn't know me as well treated me differently now I was in the public eye, and the ones I didn't like, I treated them differently... Just to show them who was boss.

I noticed Heather and Mackenzie out on the trampoline with our little brother Sean. He was having so much fun jumping about on it, he was 18 months old now, I really hadn't seen him properly for months, I felt bad for that, the poor little guy is going to need Kenzie and me in his life to Try and survive 18 years of dad and heather.

"I can't believe how big he is now" I said to my sister as she held on to both his hands as he jumped up and down on the trampoline.

"I know its crazy how quick he has grown... Heather you should let him come and stay with us for a weekend you could have a break then" Mackenzie said just as our dad walked up.

heather nodded at this prospect of having a break, as far as I could tell, she did most of the parenting, my dad worked a lot leaving her to it.

"Mackenzie I don't think you would have enough room in that apartment for Sean to stay in" my dad chuckled.

"well there is more than enough room for him here" I said before another spat broke out between the two of them.

"no, savannah... Its fine, I'm not living in that apartment, I never have Dad, I have been living with Logan the entire time I've been in LA. We are staying in bel air with James and Sheriden whilst we house hunt! Sean is very welcome to stay at bel air with Logan and I" Mackenzie said loudly to prove her point.

"so your bumming it on a friends sofa" Dad said.

"I don't think bumming, and bel air can even go in the same sentence Dad" Mackenzie argued back, she was attracting a bit of attention now. Heather took Sean as him and Mackenzie stepped out of the trampoline, and walked off with him around Carlos' pretty garden.

"why don't you live in the apartment to your salon then?" Dad snapped back.

"we sold it... We needed the money" Mackenzie said almost tearfully, Logan walked over to the scene that was being created now.

"you sold it, so what are you doing out here, I knew that guy was a dead beat Mackenzie... Come home, even your sister has made a success of things here, but you, you just keep disappointing me" he said cooly

"disappointing you? How the fuck have I disappointed you?" Mackenzie screamed.

"Dad leave her alone" I said but he ignored me.

"Mackenzie you disappoint me by staying with this idiot!" Dad said waving a hand in Logans direction "why don't you find a nice boy like your sister finally has!" He said.

I think all three of us let out a little laugh.  
"your the idiot Dad, I did used to date Carlos, he was the one that broke Logans cheekbone. I'm sick of this shit. Logan and I are happy together we have been through so much... I love him Dad. I don't get why you have a problem with him!"

"I have a problem with him because I know his red neck sort. Just look at what he has caused for you. You have nothing now. I presume all your money has gone?" He said.

"yes it has gone, but you know what even if Logan had nothing left to offer me, I would still love him, which is more than I can say about you. I hate you, Sean is going to hate you, and savannah couldn't wait to get away from you, thats why she moved to Idaho with me!" Mackenzie screamed at our father.

My Dad blew a gasket and slapped Mackenzie around the face, all hell broke loose soon after as Logan then head butted my Dad and started throwing punches

"Dad!... Logan get off him" I shouted. I tried my best to pull Logan off. Carlos came running over and finally pulled him off for me.

My Dad stood up laughing, his lip split open. "You've done it now" he grinned at Logan.

"fuck you!" Logan hissed back then began walking away with kenz. He then walked back and squared him self right in to my Dad "if you ever fucking touch her again, I'm gonna kill you... Fucking scum!" Logan shouted then walked off with my sister.

I glared at my Dad. "get out of my house" I whispered to him.

"savannah, I didn't mean to hurt her" my Dad said.

"Dad you just smacked Mackenzie around the face, it wasnt an accident!" I argued.

"what? You hit Mackenzie?" Carlos then said. He looked really angry. Whatever feelings Carlos still had for my sister I think were about to be known.

"you hit her?" Carlos repeated

"that little fuck is going to be hearing from my solicitor" my Dad said looking in the direction of logan, feeling his lip and ignoring Carlos.

"then I expect I will too" Carlos said then punched my Dad in the face.  
"that's for Kenzie and for ruining savannahs celebration... Get the fuck out of my house... NOW!" Carlos shouted.

if it hadn't been my party then I probably would of found it a good spectator sport to watch all of what just happened, but tonight was meant to be closure for me, the start of a new beginning surrounded by people that meant something to me.

"you okay baby?" Carlos said pulling me in to his arms.

"yeah ..." I said then started crying " I'm just going to go to the bathroom" I sniffed.

"Kay... sure your okay?" He asked again.

I nodded. He gave me a kiss on the head and I made my way to the ensuite bathroom that was in our bedroom.

I looked at my face in the mirror, mascara all down it. I looked hideous, my hair was scruffy from trying to get Logan off my Dad. I looked like I did the night I was attacked.  
I sat on the bathroom floor and pulled my legs up to my chest, I just sobbed, and sobbed. I wish I hadn't drunk so much. My head was spinning and keeping a lid on my hidden emotions was too hard.  
Why was life no longer normal. I just wanted to be me again.

A knock on the bathroom door made me look up. It opened up, I hadn't locked it.

"savannah are you okay. Sheri sent me up to check on you" James said.

"no... I wish I was okay... I just want to die James, no matter what I do, where I fuckin go, I'm always reminded of what happened... I can't cope with it any more" I sniffed.

"can I sit down?" James asked politely

I nodded and James came and sat on the bathroom floor with me.

"savannah ... Your drunk! you were fine a minute ago, I know you think that the world had ended but it hasn't. Yeah Logan lumped your Dad one but he deserved that... Didn't he? And croft is locked up, you have a husband downstairs that is so in love with you, and a fantastic career is just beginning... I don't think you really want to die and leave it all behind do you?... Huh" he said.

I sniffed in my nose that was now running "I'm sorry" I said as I did gain my sense. "I don't think I should drink any more"

"maybe slow down a little bit" James smiled "sort your face out, Carlos will be looking for you soon, I think he has a gift for you... But don't tell him I said anything" James said holding his arm out for a hug.

I buried myself in James, he gave me a good squeeze.

"is Mackenzie okay? I can't believe he hit her... I've never seen Logan like that, he scared me... And Los, do you think that he still has feelings for Mackenzie, James. He looked so angry" I said as I got up and wiped the mascara stains off my face and applied fresh make up.

James stayed sat on the floor "I don't think Carlos has feelings like what your thinking for Mackenzie. If I was stood with you then I would expect I would of done the same thing if she was my ex girlfriend" he replied. "Mackenzie was fine, Sheriden is more upset, I think its a good job that she is stuck in that chair for your dads sake" he chuckled.

"yeah I guess... Kenzie told me about the baby thing today... I'm really happy for you James, I hope it works out" I said.

James let out a big sigh "me to sav... Before all this shit started Sheri and I planned to fill that house with kids, we got so much space and more money than even Sheriden could spend in 5 lifetimes but nothing worthwhile to do with any of it... I just want things to go right for a change, I can't remember a time when I could go to sleep and not worry about anything" he said.

I smiled at him "I know that feeling... Life isn't easy is it... Has my Dad gone?" I asked

"Sheriden was talking to him, she was trying to persuade him to not press charges on Logan... Your Dad is a Dick savannah" he said with a smile.

"you got that right... James how do you let Sheriden and kendall still be friends after what they did to you and paisley"

"now that's the question of the year... I'm not sure how but the reason is because I love her, I forgived her, I have to give kendall the same treatment I guess or it wouldn't of worked. I'm not about to be letting them alone together, fingers crossed once she is up and running again your sister will be pregnant and Sheri will be to busy to even think about kendall... I do worry about it though. A lot"

"I saw the songs you and pais put on you tube... Do you miss her, you spent a lot of time together didn't you" I said softly.

"yeah we did" he smiled "I do miss her a lot. its sad because she is making more money now she is gone than when she was here" he admitted "her download sales have gone crazy" he added.

"does kendall get all that then?" I asked

"kind of, he is putting it in a trust fund for phee" he said just as the door knocked again.

I opened it up as I was stood right next to it in front of the mirror.

"savs baby you okay... Been in here ages" Carlos said as he walked in.

"I'm fine" I said giving him a kiss"

James stood up from the floor and walked passed Carlos out of the door "I want to see you smiling when you get back down, ill get rid of your Dad" James said as he walked by.

Carlos closed the door "your eyes are red still. Don't upset yourself sav... I'm sorry I hit him" he said.

"I'll be okay in a minute, just had a bit too much to drink. I'm glad you hit him, I can't believe he did that... Twat!" I said feeling emotional again.

"hey cmon... Stop the tears sav,"Carlos said wiping just under my eye before my mascara spoilt again. "I've got a little tiny gift for you... But I need you to use your imagination" he said smiling.

I smiled back at him "okay an imaginary gift is sounding fun" I giggled.

Carlos took me by my hand and sat down on the floor where James was just sat, he pulled me down with him.

"okay now close your eyes" he whispered.

I smiled but did as I was told, Carlos took my hand in his.

"okay now I want you to think of one of your favourite memories of us before Las Vegas" he said softly.

I sat there with my eyes shut thinking for a minute.  
"okay ... I really enjoyed the first time I kissed you, looking up in that blue sky, laying on the trampoline" I smiled.

"how did you feel... Do you remember?" Carlos said, I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest, I was scared but excited... But I trusted you, I knew you wouldn't hurt me... I was already in love with you then Los" I said quietly.

"okay brilliant... Keep your eyes shut... No peeking, stay laying on that imaginary trampoline with the blue sky and our first kiss... When you open your eyes you need to imagine we are still there okay... Promise" he whispered.

"I promise Los"

"open your eyes" he said.

I did open my eyes to see Carlos smiling at me. He held a ring in his hand in a pretty white box.

"savannah, I love you, will you marry me?" He said softly.

I smiled at him "yes course I will" I giggled

he slipped the beautiful engagement ring over my tattooed finger that had Carlos' name written on it as my wedding band. It was lovely, a massive diamond perched on top.

"I don't understand Los" I whispered.

"I don't want you missing out on anything, and being engaged is a big part of life, so in years to come and our grand kids ask you how we got engaged you can tell them that it was just after our first kiss out in the garden, snuggled up together looking at the beautiful blue skies of California" he said smiling and holding my hand.

I laughed at him, a few tears escaped me "and not to tell them that we were really sat on our bathroom floor, drunk"

"exactly" he grinned.

Carlos stood up and pulled me up with him by his hand.  
"come on let's go and enjoy your party" he said.

"Carlos wait!... If we are still on that trampoline, on a beautiful June day and you had just proposed to me then I would most likely of kissed you after" I smiled pulling him in towards me for a gentle kiss.

It was slow and sexy. I pulled away slowly my lips still brushing his " I think I would of made love to you too" I grinned raising an eyebrow.

"well in that case..." Carlos said and turned the lock in the bathroom door, he pulled me in close again then hitched my legs up around his waist and leaned me against the door.

He gently pulled my dress up and undid his pants. He didn't even bother to remove my underwear he just moved the material to one side then entered me.

The force of his body against mine was so sexy. I had never had quick sex with Carlos before, but seeing as we had a house full of party guests downstairs I guessed quickness was key here.

I had my arms wrapped around his neck, as he moved his delicious body against mine he kissed me on my lips slowly, he still appeared to be taking his time, I could feel his hands on my thighs as he held me up against the door.

He made my body feel incredible, I enjoyed every minute and every movement. Letting him please me in ways I couldn't even describe to my self.

"savannah I love you baby girl" Carlos whispered out.

"fuck... I love you too Los" I replied.

The door knocked behind me, I looked panicked in to Carlos' eyes.

"doors locked" he whispered and carried on making love to me.

"sav you okay in there?" Mackenzie called through the door.

I rolled my eyes. Of all the people.  
"I will be out in a minute" I called as calmly as I could but Carlos had me on my way to heaven and a scream of ecstasy escaped me.

I got the giggles after that, I had no clue if my sister had heard us doing it or not, Carlos got a bit carried away when he came and really rammed me in to the door, this was the first time we hadn't had just regular laying down sex. This was fun, and I enjoyed it.

"is she still out there?" I whispered to Carlos as I sat on the loo with very little dignity in front of him while I had a wee and cleaned my self up from our love making.

Carlos laughed at me, or more my bravery "you are drunk aren't you" he chuckled " I don't know, but only one way to find out huh"

once I had sorted my dress out I gave Carlos one more kiss before he opened the door so we could re join my party.


	22. Chapter 22

Sheriden twenty two

just over two months had passed now since the earthquake and paisley passing away.

I had ten weeks until my trial, I kept making the mistake of reading the newspapers. They all thought I had something to do with it, no smoke with out fire. In truth I didn't have anything to do with his murder. None of what happened to Marcus was my idea at the time.

I was confident that I was going to get away Scot free, they hadn't caught who done it, so that means nothing I had planned would be connected. I was home and dry, just wanted it to be over.

James and I were just on our way to hospital, it seemed places like that were our second home at the moment, we were always due in to clinics and things lately, today was physio day for me though. My first proper session getting out of this wheel chair. I was still in it most of the time, although I could stand, my hip was healed but painful and my not so bad leg was also healed and more or Less fine,but the leg that got crushed was causing a lot of problems. I still had a metal brace on it, although the bone was back together it was feared it was so weak now that it could break again with just a tiny fall.

It looked awful, so much scarring, the doctor told me on my last xray that if my leg had been amputated then I would be up and about with a prosthetic one by now, but I stand by James' Decision and I would of done exactly the same thing if it were me put in the position of a choice.

James looked at me as he drove the short distance to the hospital "Sheri you look nervous" he said.

"yeah I feel a bit nervous... I haven't done this kind of physio for years... Since I broke my back, I prefer the exercise kind" I flashed him a fake smile"

"you will be fine... Besides I'm here this time round" he smiled giving my hand a quick squeeze.

"I don't want to be stuck in that wheel chair James... I'm not ready for that... Not yet"

"your not going to be stuck in it Sheri... Baby everything is going to be fine, don't you think that we deserve a bit of good luck? Its all being saved up for this and for Mackenzie" he said offering me a smile.

"you actually believe that too don't you? I wonder if the ivf will work this time?" I almost whispered.

"only time will tell... The waiting is a killer huh?" He said looking out to the road.

I sighed "sure is" I replied.

we had already gone through one lot of ivf treatment which didn't work with Mackenzie, she had another of my eggs implanted in to her two days ago, so another month of waiting. It really was hard.

Her and Logan were still staying with us in bel air. I think they must of decided that it was the easier option knowing I would drive them crazy phoning all the time, making sure she was safe and staying healthy.

Mackenzie did carry a lot of problems being our surrogate, in the form of her asthma. She has had 3 bad attacks since she had been living with us, they are awful to see. Logan is amazing with her though, he must of seen it a million times, he knows exactly when its time to take her to the emergency room. We had all decided together that if she did fall pregnant then she should carry on using her medication as the risk of not taking it far out weighed the risk of taking it.

James pulled in to the clinic and got my chair out the back of his truck, he helped me out and sat me down gently.

He gave a little sigh and kissed my head "promise you won't get pissed off with the guy and shout at him Sheri" he said.

"I'm not going to make promises to you that I can't keep" I smiled.

"I was afraid you might say that he said" as he locked the truck up and wheeled me in to the hospital.

We had to wait around for a while before we got taken in to a little consultation room, the guy who would now be doing my physio instead of just the stretching exercises the nurses did was buff, I gave James a wink and he rolled his eyes at me with a smile.

"hi I'm Neil" he said as he shook mine and james' hand.

He talked through what the next 12 weeks was going to be like, and explained that after that I would be re assessed and hopefully start on the next stage of getting my life back together.

Neil then led me and James out of the consult room and in to a large gym area, I immediately saw what the next hour or so of my life was going to be like when I clapped eyes on the bars of doom that I would be clinging on to for dear life trying to hold my weight up giving walking a try.

Neil walked off and got some disturbing looking piece of machinery.

"I don't need that, I can stand fine" I said looking at the huge thing that Neil had presented in front of me.

"Sheriden... Look... before I get you on the bars that you are giving the evil eyes at I want to be confident that you can hold your weight, if you fell, or if I didn't catch you in time you could do a lot of damage to your self, this..." he said tapping the thing next to him "is exactly the same as the bars but you can't fall, you kind of sit in it, it's called a gait harness" Neil said

I looked at the gait harness "I sit in it?" I repeated.

"yeah, like this" he said then opened it up, I saw then that it was just an adult sized baby walker.

"I'm not getting in that" I said.

"Sheriden it's the safest way, it's not forever, you need to get your muscles strong again" Neil argued.

I looked at James. He gave me a small smile.

"I'm not getting in that" I said flatly to Neil.

Neil looked at me for a while then asked James for a private word. The two of them walked off and had a hushed discussion, a few moments later James walked back to me followed by Neil.

James knelt down in front of me and took my hand.  
"Sheri ... I won't force you to get in that but you must understand that this guy is a professional, he knows what he is talking about" James said softly.

"in 2007 I was voted most sexiest legs, now in 2012 I'm being put in an over sized baby walker" I felt very emotional, and a few tears escaped at the harsh reality of my life.

"Sheriden... Don't get upset baby, cmon... It's not that bad..." He said

I just shook my head to say I'm not getting in it.

James stood up and looked at Neil.  
"sorry man, I'm not forcing her to do it if she doesn't want to" he said.

"Sheriden it's not the best of starts really, I need your cooperation to help you" Neil said sternly.

My tears just kept on flowing, I didn't want to be here at all.

"can she go on the bars? She had it in her head that that's what she would be doing" I heard James say.

"she is going to have to isn't she" Neil replied.

James knelt down by me again, he wiped my tears away and gave me a kiss. "let's do this okay" he whispered.

I nodded " don't leave me James" I said.

"I'm going to be right next to you" he smiled.  
James was nervous, I could tell.

I was eventually positioned next to the bars in my wheel chair so I could stand up, Neil stood in front of me and helped me up and James moved the chair from behind me and stayed close just incase I fell.

"well my day just got better, sandwiched between two muscly men" I joked with nerves.

"and it's gonna get even better when we get these legs going Sheriden" Neil smiled.

My hip was complete agony when my weight was on it.  
"fuck! ... I can't do it" I cried in pain clinging on to the bars.

"you have to Sheriden, don't be a quitter on the first day, it will get easier... What's your favourite thing to eat?" Neil said

I looked at him like he was crazy.

"humour me Sheriden" he said.

"fish and chips... Proper British ones, not the shit they have over here" I replied.

James laughed behind me.

"okay when the time comes that you can walk to the end of these bars without any help from James or me or taking a break, I will take on the impossible mission that is trying to find you some authentic English fish and chips okay... Fish and chips is the best reward going... Now let's see how you go" Neil said and took one of my hands off the bar.  
James was very close behind me, he held me gently round the waist.

The pain was excruciating as I took my first two steps, I actually cried as it was so bad.

"Sheriden you need to work through this okay your doing amazing right now" Neil said.

"it doesn't want to do what I want it to" I wept.

"keep going Sheriden, two more steps if you can, then we will have a rest" Neil said.

If I had both my hands on the rail I could of probably done it to take some weight off but because Neil had taken one my full weight was on my bad leg.  
It honestly wasn't doing what my brain wanted it to. I ended up buckling and James catching me from behind as I fell.

I was sat back in the chair for a rest.

"that was good Sheriden, your leg doesn't want to cooperate because it's had serious trauma, the way it works is different to how it used to, we just need to figure out how it works for you now, the pain in your hip will ease the more your moving... Ready when you are to go again.

I nodded and wiped my face from tears, "let's do this" I said.

I tried 4 more times the most amount of steps I took was three, but the pain in my hip was going. I was absolutely exhausted though and fell asleep on the way home in the car,

James must of just carried me to bed once home as that's where I woke up. He was layed next to me on our bed when I opened my eyes, he was doing something on his phone,

"all okay?" I asked.

"yeah, how are you feeling" he replied.

"sore, that Neil guy is a work trojan huh" I smiled. "what's the face for?" I asked looking at his almost sad expression he wore.

"nothing, just got the go ahead for a tour... I was just texting kendall, he isn't sure if he wants to carry on doing big time rush any more, so not sure if once we finish filming this season that it's all going to be finished completely, the third album will be out next year... Just can't believe it's finishing Sheri" he said.

"I can talk to kendall if you like, he is acting oddly the last few weeks, I think things are getting on top of him... Did you want to tour again?" I asked.

"I would like to do a goodbye tour yeah, I know next year will be the last, our lives are all heading in different directions now" he sighed.

"you will still all be friends though, you will have a ton more work come your way James, movies and Christ knows what, plus you need to find another act for the studio now paisley has gone. kendall will be huge on his own too, he is a musical genius, Logan will be A huge movie star... I will personally make sure of that! And Carlos... Well he will probably enjoy life for a bit longer until he grows up" I laughed.

"yeah I know, when one door closes another one opens," he said.

"it's gonna end one day James, it's always going to be sad" I said.

"yeah I know," he replied.

"I don't want to think about it yet" he smiled "let's concentrate on getting our life great again" he whispered and kissed me.

"I'm dying to have sex with you" I said out of the blue.

James chuckled at me, "I don't think I could get to you Sheri with all your scaffolding on your leg."

"I'm sure you could if you tried jimbo" I smiled.

"jimbo!" He laughed "you know I hate that word"

"jimbo" I repeated with a smile

"Sheriden stop it" James said giving me a sexy little kiss.

"sorry... Jimbo" I laughed.

"okay you have done it now Mrs Maslow" he said pulling my entire body gently further down the bed.  
He then took his jeans and underwear off and wiggled his cock in my face.

"James if you hit my forehead with that thing I'm going to be pissed" I said giggling.

"I wouldn't hit your head with it... " he laughed.

"come here" I said tapping my chest. Inviting him to get comfy.

"am I not going to hurt you?" He asked.  
"no course not, don't sit on me though, just...assume the position" I giggled.

James chuckled at me again then moved one of his knees over my shoulder as I lay on the bed, my head was now in between his legs. I gave the length of his cock a lick

James groaned out in pleasure  
"Sheri I want to touch you too" he said giving me a pretend sad face then reached one of his arms behind him and hitched up my summer dress that I wore, he rubbed his finger along my clitoris.  
I let my own groans of pleasure leave my mouth, the last time I had any sexual contact was with kendall, but even then I wished it to be James.  
I sucked on James as he played with me.  
He was so hard in my mouth, both of us starved from sexual contact for so long. The thrill of pleasuring him as he felt me was intense and turned me on so much.  
As his hand movements on me got quicker so did my head movements on him.

I knew he was going to cum before he made any noise, his knees stiffened around me, I then heard his orgasm escape his mouth, he sounded so sexy, James came in my mouth, the feeling of it sent me over the edge and I came in James' hand, I sucked on his cock still as I enjoyed the feeling he had inflicted on me, running my tongue over his manhood. It enhanced my pleasure.

"oh my God... Stop stop stop" I begged as my body could no longer take his pleasing.

James removed his leg from over my shoulder, and lay down next to me, I shifted my body back up on the bed and sat up, James wrapped an arm over me and rested his head on my lap.

"I needed that" he mumbled, now sleepy.

"me too... I still need you to fuck me senseless on the floor or something" I smiled as I brushed his hair back with my hand.

" when you can walk to the end of those bars with out help then I will fuck you senseless on the floor ... Fish and chips sounds a bit lame" he chuckled.

"I wouldn't eat them anyway. I would of said caviar or something if I knew he was going to get it" I laughed.

James looked up and rolled his eyes at me.  
"Sheri..." He asked

"James..." I replied in the same tone.

"do you think kendall is okay, we hardly see him now" he said.

"I don't know, I phoned him yesterday asking if he was bringing phee around but he said he was busy and he will come round next week, he sounds okay but he is such a girl with his feelings" I said softly

"do you think that him and pais would of sorted it out?" He then asked.

"I'm not sure, he told me he didn't love her at all any more but when we were trapped in that house he said he did love her. They had a life together... he is bound to miss her even if he wasn't in love with her any more" I replied still running my hand through James hair.

"yeah I guess. I worry that's all" he replied sleepily.

James drifted off to sleep as I lay thinking about the mess all our lives were currently in.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Mackenzies story**_

Four months had passed since paisley had died.

The ivf so far had not worked, we were now on our third go, it was frustrating.

We were currently sat in kendalls living room, he had called us all round to discuss the future of big time rush.

Ophelia sat on the rug that lay on the floor sucking on the corner of one of her baby books whilst engrossed in the TV, she could sit up all alone now and was beginning to look like a person and not just a chubby little baby.

We were all here apart from my sister and Carlos.

James and Sheriden sat opposite us, and kendall was sat on the floor with phee and Logan who was trying his best to attract her attention away from the TV.

Kendall didn't know about the ivf situation yet, we thought it best to not tell him until there was something to tell, he had been very distant from the boys lately, he kept insisting he was fine but something was going on.

The door knocked and finally Carlos and savannah walked in, savannah was a complete nightmare now, she had started doing her Alexander McQueen runway for the fashion weeks and came home a completely different girl. She was over filled with confidence, Carlos lapped it up, they both craved attention.

"sorry we are late, savs wouldn't get out of bed this morning" Carlos said as he sat down next to me and savannah sat on his lap.

"fuck off Los, you got up ten minutes before me" she laughed

"hey! No swearing around phee now, I don't want her first word to be the F word" kendall snapped.

Savannah raised an eyebrow "sorry mary Poppins" she replied.

"kendall can we just get on with this, James is on verge of cardiac arrest with all this waiting around" Sheriden said, she still needed her wheel chair but was able to walk about a bit as long as she had someone with her.

"yeah okay, well it's only a few months before rehearsals would need to start if we are doing this tour. I just wanted to ask each of you if you actually wanted to do it?" He replied softly.

"I do" Carlos said straight away

"Logan?" Kendall asked

Logan was in a difficult place, he did want to but with the prospect of me maybe being pregnant over the next few months he didn't want to leave me.  
"I do but so much has happened and is happening that I'm not sure... If the majority voted yes then I would" he clarified.

Everyone looked at James.  
"it kills me to say it but no" he said, Sheriden wasn't expecting that, a huge gasp fell out of her mouth.

"James? What are you talking about you said you would be gutted ending it like this?" She argued.

"yeah but your still not great on your feet and ... Other stuff" he said looking at me "I don't want to leave you for four months ... I can't do that.

"well I heard what was being offered was seven weeks" Carlos said. "not four months"

"James we can afford seven weeks apart, you will never forgive yourself" Sheriden said.

James nodded to agree.

"well hang on... Kendall what do you want to do?" Logan asked.

"frankly I've had enough, I'm tired of it, I need a break for a bit and I'm actually looking forward to doing my own thing" he answered.

The room fell silent.

"but saying that, I want to do one last tour, because there is something I need to do" he said with a far away smile.

We all waited silently for an explanation but kendall didn't speak.

"honey what have you got planned for her" Sheriden spoke, she must have some vague idea of what kendall was going on about.

"I need to scatter the ashes, I've had no clue as to where I should do it but I know she loved the bloody tour bus" he laughed. "So I've decided to have it parked up by the beach, I'm gonna climb on top and scatter them like that, she loved the bus and she loved the beach and she loved all of us so I think that's a good idea" he said with a small shake in his voice.

"she would love that buddy, its a great idea" Logan said.

"so this time next year their will be no more btr... Sad times" Carlos said.

I looked at Carlos, he was living his dream, savannah gave his hand a squeeze, obviously Carlos had no pressing problems like the rest of us had to make splitting the band up a bit easier.

"Los there is always come back tours when you all look like boys in the attic" Sheriden joked.

"yeah I guess... Its been an adventure though huh. Some of the shit we have all got up to" Carlos replied then received a scowl from kendall for swearing in front of his daughter.

"Los I'm not being funny but Sheriden is your sister, savannah is Mackenzies sister and then their is Ophelia, we are probably going to see more of each other when the band splits up, we are all family" James said smiling trying to cheer him up.

"I've been offered a solo deal" kendall said quietly

Sheriden smiled at him "your gonna be huge" she said

"I'm just gonna mess about with heffron drive for a bit I think" he replied.

no one else said what they had been offered, I think to spare Carlos from any extra pain but I know Logan had been offered main roles in a couple of new sitcoms and a small part in a movie, as far as I was aware James had been offered a load of films, and a few record Companies had been doing a bidding war over him but he had so far turned everything down that wasn't connected to nickelodeon.

"so one more tour for paisley then?" Logan said getting back to the subject

"yeah for pais" kendall said "all agree?" he added.

James and Carlos both agreed.

"okay well I've got to go I've got a photo shoot at one" savannah broke the silence with.

"how are you finding it?" Sheriden asked

"fucking awesome! They love me, its hard to not get a huge ego." She smiled "sorry" she said to kendall as she realised she swore again.

"I knew they would, can't believe I'm missing it all, I wanted to be there for you sav... You getting along with Fran still? she is a bit much but she is the next best thing to me to help you out" Sheriden asked.

"she is great, I don't understand why she doesn't do run way herself any more though... What's the deal with that?" My sister asked, we all listened in to this conversation, we had all met Fran at savannahs party, she was very much like Sheriden... Typical bitch face model but kind of nice once you get to know her.

"pressure mostly, she had more problems than you can shake a stick at, drugs, bulimia, boys, babies. Divorces... You name it, she has done it, she just wants a peaceful life now, she only does a bit of modelling every now and again" Sheriden confirmed

"she has a baby? I didn't know that" savannah said standing up.

"well... no, I think he is about 6 now...he doesn't live with her " Sheriden said vaguely.

"I didn't know that she had all that going on, are you sure sav is safe with her... She doesn't sound safe" Carlos said.

"she is mental" Logan added.

"she is fine! savannah is in great hands with her... How do you know she is mental? you've only met her once Logan"

Logan just gave his cheeky grin

"please tell me you haven't slept with her" kendall said, still sat next to him on the floor.

Logan gave his apologetic look towards me.  
"Jesus logues is there any one you haven't slept with, did you date her or just a one night stand?" I asked a bit pissed off that he hadn't told me.

"I met her at one of sheridens charity things years ago, I spent one night with her, she was out of her face on smack, gorgeous girl though... Massive eyes" Logan said more to the boys than to me."I don't think she remembers me as she introduced herself to me at savannahs"

"nice" I replied,

"Logan she isn't like that any more, she had a break down, lost custody of her son and ended up in hospital, she is as straight as an arrow now... Savannah is going to learn a lot of good from her... Plus she is on weekly blood tests, aren't you sav... I'm strict with her"

"well thanks for this insightful info guys, but we really must be going" Carlos said dragging savannah out the door by her hand.

She gave a giggle and a wave as she left.

"how are the legs?" Kendall asked Sheriden

"now there is a question... Kind of getting to the stage now wishing it had been chopped off. I can walk but the mental power I have to put behind it is irritating, I couldn't walk and talk at same time, I need to concentrate on it one hundred percent... Not fucking about kendall but how are you? We hardly see you, we are worried... I'm worried!" She said.

Kendall looked at all of us.  
"honestly I'm fine, there is nothing to be worried about... I'm just... Enjoying the distance Sheri" he said matter of factly

"are you coping with phee okay? I wish I could help more, Logan and James can always take her for a bit if you want a time out" she said.

"Sheriden I'm fine stop fussing okay its... Pissing me off" he said quietly so Ophelia wouldn't hear the cuss.

Sheriden looked hurt, she didn't say anything more, James took her hand and made an excuse to leave, he helped Sheriden up and helped her out the door where her wheel . It was painful to watch her struggle when she was once so fiesty.

Kendall didn't even say bye to her.

"I wouldn't mind seeing more of phee if you did want to let her hang out with me" Logan said with a smile trying to take the tension out.

"sure, I don't mind, how come you two are still living with them any way" he asked.

"just a lot going on at the moment...as always... Kendall why did you talk to her like that, you know she is gonna cry all the way home... She is delicate at the moment" I said about Sheriden.

"Sheriden isn't delicate at all... I wasn't talking to her in any kind of way... Just being me that's all... She was fussing, she is always phoning and texting, it annoys the hell out of me, I just want some space from her" he replied.

"okay... She needs some support from you though kendall, she cares so much about you, just because she chose James doesn't mean she cares any less for you" I said.

"why are you all team Sheriden now? You couldn't stand her before... Besides I'm not, not being supportive of her, I just have my own things going on that I want a clear head on, and don't want her putting the kiss of death on it, or interfering... I just want space, she may not want me but she still tries to control me. It drives me insane" he argued.

"I'm not team Sheriden, I'm not on any kind of side kendall its just she cries a lot, she is depressed and I think she misses being in the thick of it, she misses paisley, and she misses you" I said.

Kendall sighed "I will call her later okay... She is worried about the trial, she texts me in the middle of the night when James is asleep... Its not a good time, but typical Sheriden thinks the world revolves around her and doesn't understand why I don't want to text back in the night" he said

"you know what ... I think you are so over your Sheriden stage" Logan said having been listening and watching the last few minutes.

"well I would like to be if she gave me the chance" kendall replied. " do you want a drink? I got beer, wine. could make a day of it?" He added.

"yeah go on then I will have a beer if its okay with Mackenzie" Logan said with a smile.

"yeah go for it babe" I replied.

"what do you want kenz? Wine?" He asked.

"erm no I will stick to the soda thanks, you two go nuts, I will baby sit" I smiled.

Kendall nodded and walked out to the kitchen then returned with the drinks.

"just out of interest... Do we know who killed croft yet, has she spilled the beans?" Kendall asked.

"no not in front of us, I don't think James knows either, she is very adamant that she won't tell" Logan replied to him.

"hmmmm" kendall said.

"you know don't you?" Logan said.

"no... Not for sure but I have a vague idea... Anyway it will soon be over in a matter of weeks" he said


	24. Chapter 24

_**Mackenzies story**_

As the weeks had dragged by the day of sheridens trial loomed closer, we were less than 15 hours away from finding out all the ins and outs of what went on that day Marcus croft died.

I had worries of my own that wouldn't leave my head though.  
I was curled up in bed, Logan was asleep next to me, he was totally out of it. His mouth just slightly apart, his expression soft, not a care in the world, he had one arm slung over my waist .  
I stroked it.

The time on the clock read 01:42am I hadn't had any sleep. I started off watching TV hoping that I would doze off but no such luck, I was nervous, and scared.

"logie... Logues... Wake up" I whispered.

Logan stirred  
"what's up" came his gruff reply.

I buried my head in his neck, needing some reassurance.

"kenz what is it?" He said giving me a hug.

"my boobs hurt" I confessed.

Logan sat up on hearing this news, he looked at me with his knowing eyes, like I was being silly.  
"kenz they hurt last month and you thought you were pregnant, you're due on soon... Don't stay awake all night wondering, just do a test in the morning with Sheriden" he said

"Logan they really hurt, I just have this feeling that I am this time... I know" I said feeling emotional.

"well do a test now Kenzie" Logan said.

"Sheriden will go mad if she found out I tested with out her though, I promised" I replied.

"well I'm not going to tell her if you don't Kenzie" he smiled.

I thought for a moment "I feel sick with nerves... I just know I am this time logues" I confessed.

"well come on, let's find out!" He said pulling me off the bed and in to the ensuite.

I had a stash of pregnancy tests in the cabinet, Logan pulled one out. He looked cute, his hair was a fluffy mess on his head, and he only wore boxers, which was a new form of bedtime wear for him. He usually slept naked but started to wear the boxers when the ivf started as we couldn't have sex together.

"can you pee?" He asked, his eyes all puffy.

"yeah I can go... Your gonna be really peeved with me if I'm wrong aren't you" I said.

"no, course I'm not... But I will need you to suck my cock as compensation" he laughed.

"shhhh Logan, I don't want Sheriden to wake up and hear us".

He rolled his eyes "pee on the stick then" he said handing it to me as I sat on the loo.

I spent a few seconds just sitting there trying to force it out, until it came out, Logan smirked at me when he heard the trickle of water.

"your such a lady" he said.

"I'm scared logues" I said as I handed him back the stick, which he took without even a cocky remark as it had my piss all over it.

"it says to wait 3 minutes" Logan repeated what he had read on the packet.

I nodded. We walked back out to the bedroom, Logan sat on the bed up against the head board and I sat with him in between his legs with my back against his chest.

"how come your so panicky" Logan asked.

"Coz this is it Logan... I just know, the reality of it is scarier than the planning part" I said my voice shaking. "you can look at it... Tell me the verdict" I added.

"kenz are you gonna cry if its negative?" He asked

I nodded.

"and your going to cry if your pregnant?"

"yes" I said the tears already making an appearance.

"its not too late to change your mind okay" he said wrapping his free arm that wasn't holding the stick in his hand around me.

"I still want to, its just... I don't know, I'm scared. Having a baby... God I'm mental! What if I end up ill like paisley did?" I asked.

"Mackenzie paisley had a really rare form of post natal depression, and her treatment was working fine, you will be fine" he replied.

"I guess" I answered

Logan looked at the clock "well the three minutes is up. Shall we turn it over and see" he whispered.

"will you still love me?" I asked.

"I will always love you Mackenzie" he replied.

I turned around and sat crossed legged on the bed facing him "you look at it" I said quietly.

Logan looked at me "I will always love you" he repeated, then turned the stick over and looked at it.

His face wasn't giving anything away.  
"okay I'm going to own up, what am I looking for exactly?" He said.

"one blue line is not having a baby and one blue and one red is having a baby... What does it say logues?" I whispered, tears escaping silently down my face.

Logan looked up at me. "your having a baby Kenzie" he said with a smile.

I clapped both my hands over my mouth as more tears fell, Logan wrapped me up with both his arms. "you done it baby girl... You done it" he whispered.

I just stayed in his warm hug for as many minutes as I could before he pulled himself away to check I was okay

"shall I wake them up and tell them?" Logan asked.

"no... No let them sleep...if they are, the trial is tomorrow, let's keep it just us until I do another test tomorrow in front of her... This is the last night of my life in the next few months that Sheriden doesn't own me" I said.

"do you feel okay about it? It is weird... Your having a baby that isn't mine... " Logan whispered

I smiled "logues its not mine either... It is weird... I love you" I said to him, burying my face in his chest.

"besides we have our own baby" I mumbled in to him then looked at dude our great Dane, who was no longer a tiny little puppy, he was huge, and took up a great chunk of floor on his over sized dog cushion he slept on.

"True" Logan said with a smile "so we get to keep this little one as our own for one night as our dirty little secret" he added giving my stomach a playful poke.

"yeah one night only until the madness begins I guess" I replied.

"kenz when we have a baby things are going to be a lot different from now okay... Don't let this weird situation put you off" he said pulling the bed covers from underneath him and getting in to bed. He held his arm out as an invite in to them.

"I know... What if something goes wrong? Do you think that Sheriden will have me killed?" I asked sarcastically .

"everything will be fine Kenzie... " he replied and layed his hand over my waist again but keeping his hand on my stomach. "nothing is going to go wrong" he added with a yawn.

We talked in whispers until I finally did go to sleep, logan stayed awake with me until I nodded off despite him looking completely shattered.

I stayed in our room for as long as possible the next day at bel air, I didn't want to get caught in to a conversation with Sheriden about anything just incase I buckled and told her about the baby, plus she was wound so tight about the trial.  
It was best to leave it until later.

She was still in the huge kitchen when I ventured down, I had just got dressed ready to Support her in court.

James walked in, he was nervous "Sheri your chair is in the car, I'm ready to go when you are" he said.

"I'm just going to use the crutches James, I don't want the chair today" she said quietly stroking one of dudes ears, who had his head rested in her lap... Typical that even my own dog adored Sheriden.

James just nodded, then handed her the crutches that sat next to her on the table "Sheri its time to go" he said.

Sheriden nodded.

"see you there... Good luck Sheriden... However that croft guy died and you saved Logan from a load of shit I will be forever grateful" I said giving her a hug before she stood up.

Sheriden just smiled and nodded. Not giving anything away.

Shortly after they left, Logan and I did too, the court house was buzzing with paparazzi and tv crews trying to catch a glimpse of the action.  
Carlos met us just out side the court room we would be entering.

"how was she this morning?" Carlos asked Logan

"nervous... Both of them are. Is savannah not coming?" Logan replied.

"no she is with Francesca at a TV studio, so its just me, Sheriden said to not bother coming, i said she was mad to think I'm not going to support 's kendall?"

"not sure, he is a witness though so he will be here... Its gonna be weird listening in to what went on with them" I said.

"right!" Carlos agreed.

We soon filed in to the court room. Kendall was already in there sat down. I smiled at him. He looked nervous.  
"how did savannah get out of being a witness today" I whispered to Carlos who sat next to me.

"she hasn't really got out of it but she had to write out her statement in full. if anything doesn't sum up then she will get called back on another date, but because of her own trial she was allowed a discretional pass, so to speak. she was called in to the police station a couple of weeks ago to help them with new evidence but she said it was nothing" he replied.

"well that's good, let's hope this is over with quickly then we can put the entire Marcus croft thing behind us all" I whispered back.

Carlos nodded, it was nice to be able to talk to him normally. I forgot how kind he could be. I was so used to him insulting me or we just avoided each other.

"how are you?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"good" I replied "you?"

"yeah really good" he said.

I smiled at him. The court proceedings began. I learnt a lot about what happened that night croft died.

He was eventually killed after a fight in his hotel room and had the cord of the bedside lamp wrapped around his neck. Cocaine was found in his room, and in his system after a post mortem had taken place.  
He died more or less the same time savannah went to visit Sheriden, kendall was cross examined. This was the hard part listening to what went on with him and Sheriden. None of us had a clue. He didn't go in to detail apart from back up what savannah had written down how she found them not dressed.

It all seemed to be going well until Sheriden got cross examined.

"Mrs Maslow earlier this month you were contacted by the LAPD to go over some new evidence that was found. I'm going to show the court evidence that is believed to be a cctv image of Marcus crofts killer" the prosecutioner said and a very blurry dark picture of a man dressed in black appeared on a large over head projector .

"you made a statement saying you had no idea who this man may be, do you still stand by this statement?" He asked Sheriden.

"yes I do, I have absolutely no idea who that man is" Sheriden said.

She didn't even look at the screen, instead she was looking in my direction, I then realised it wasnt me she was looking at but Carlos.  
I looked at Carlos' face. It was in total shock. The next thing I knew Carlos got up and left the court room quietly.

I looked at Logan, who was sat on the other side of me "what's going on?" He whispered.

I shrugged, kendall then got up from his own seat and and walked out of the court room after Carlos, the prosecution against Sheriden carried on despite these minor interruptions.  
"shall I go and see?" I replied to Logan.

He just nodded at me, so I slipped out from my seat and left just like the two boys had.

Once out in the corridor I could just see kendall walking off around the corner with Carlos, I ran to catch up with them.

"what's the matter?" I panted as I reached them.

"in here!" Kendall said aggressively to Carlos, as he forced him in to an empty room that had the door open, kendall closed it behind us.

Carlos had tears in his eyes, he was clearly shaken up.

"Los? What's happened?" I asked offering him a gentle stroke of his elbow with my hand.

"did you know!" Was all he replied to kendall.

"no, I just figured that he was the only person that would be willing to do it for her" kendall replied.

"its disgusting, a fucking disgrace to my family!" Carlos shouted.

"Carlos who was it... In the photo?" I asked.

Carlos looked at me "my brother" he whispered "Sheriden got my brother to kill another man... I mean the photo was blurry but I would know him anywhere... Jesus Christ... Why would he do it for her... He killed someone" Carlos said.

"oh my God... Antonio?" I said.

Carlos nodded.  
"he killed someone, they are both responsible for him being dead" Carlos said to himself.

"Los that guy raped savannah! He deserved to die" kendall said looking at me for assistance.

I didn't back kendall up  
"Carlos Sheriden swore she didn't know what was going on the night he died, maybe its a mistake" I tried to reason.

"I feel sick, he is no brother of mine anymore!" Carlos said.

"Carlos don't be ridiculous" kendall argued.

Carlos paced the floor in the small room that we occupied, he had his hands on his head.

I looked at kendall, kendall shook his head at me.

"I'm not having this..." Carlos said "I'm going to tell them who it was" and headed for the door but kendall stood in front of it.

"don't talk shit Carlos" kendall said. "Sheriden and Antonio would spend the rest of their lives in prison... You would ruin your family" he added.

"they deserve it, they don't think that anyone cares enough that they could do this to another person... Its sick... I'm going to the cops" he said trying to get passed kendall.

"Carlos please, you would regret it... Its not just their lives, think of James... And me" I said.

Carlos looked at me, "you hate Sheriden" he said

"no I don't... I used to but things are different now... Aren't they?" I said trying to communicate about the ivf secretly to him.

"you were right not wanting to get mixed up with us in the first place kenz, I'm sorry but I have to do the right thing before its too late... " he said.

"Carlos... Los... Please" I took his hand.  
"for me it is too late... You used to love me... Please Carlos don't ruin my life"

Carlos looked at me "Jesus your pregnant aren't you?" He said

I nodded, tears escaped my eyes "I found out early this morning, Sheriden doesn't know... Carlos it was me that asked for her help, it was kendall that knew Sheriden had planned to do it... Los if you tell the police we are all in trouble..."

Carlos looked at me, kendall looked at me.

"your pregnant Kenzie?" Kendall asked

"yeah... Its complicated..." I said to kendall. "Carlos can I talk to you in private?... Please" I asked

"sure" he replied.

I looked at kendall to leave the room.  
He rolled his eyes "I'm out side the door" kendall said as he reached for the handle.

"I can't believe your doing this for Sheriden you know, having a baby... Its so nuts, its really not you Kenzie" he said.

"yeah I know... I'm scared, Logans scared. Carlos please... If I ever meant anything to you at all I'm begging that you keep this Antonio thing a secret... He is your brother Carlos... There is a reason for everything... I'm begging you Los"

"Mackenzie you meant the world to me, I fell for you so hard, you and Logan broke my heart... Seriously. But this has nothing to do with what is going on now" he replied.

"I'm having sheridens baby Carlos, if Sheriden gets away with this then we are all set for a normal life... If you tell we are all set for a broken life... Please Los. There is no need to tell, sav was raped by him, Antonio must of known about that at the time. Don't ruin all our lives... I get that its a shock, but talk to Antonio. See what he has to say... Please Carlos" I begged.

Carlos sighed "Kenzie this is fucked"

"yeah I know it is... Come back to bel air with me Carlos... If... When Sheriden gets home you can chat it out with her... Please Los don't do anything you might regret" I whispered taking his hand again.

he just looked at our hands and nodded. I opened the door up not letting go of his hand just in case he ran for it.

"can you take us back to bel air in your car? I asked kendall

"yeah sure" he agreed and we walked away from the court house.

Once at bel air things were quiet. No one knew what to say to anyone else.

"um... Congratulations Mackenzie... Least phee will have a play mate soon... I take it it wasn't planned?" kendall said as he sat in the large reception room.

"yeah... A play mate" I agreed, not knowing what to tell him, Sheriden always said that she wanted to tell him about it

"I know its scary but it will be amazing. Just you see... Logan will love being a Dad" he continued.

"kendall its really not as simple as all that..." I tried to explain.

"Logans not the father, James is... Mackenzie is having a baby for Sheriden and him" Carlos said getting fed up with the conversation.

"Carlos... I haven't even told them yet!" I moaned.

"sheridens having a baby?... " was all kendall said.

"kendall I've been doing Ivf for three months... Be happy for them. She is finally going to get what she wants" I said.

"not that she deserves it" Carlos said.

I looked at kendall, he looked okay considering he just found out the woman he craved for was destined to become a mother.

Hours ticked by with only awkward conversation until finally a car pulled up out side.

It was James... And Sheriden.

They walked in the room.  
"Los... May I speak with you in private" Sheriden said.

"did you get off?" Kendall asked butting in.

Sheriden looked at kendall and smiled "yeah... Course I did, cleared of everything, all involvement" she said.

"okay... Good... I'm going to be getting home then" he said, he gave her a smile with just his eyes then walked out.

"kendall?" Sheriden said after him.

"I was there for your wedding Sheriden, I don't want to share this with you" was all kendall said then walked out the room.

Carlos looked at me

"where is Logan" I asked looking between James and Sheriden.

"he was just on his way" James replied.

"Mackenzie would you mind leaving us for a minute?" Sheriden said.

Carlos grabbed my wrist. "she stays" he replied.

"Carlos your scaring her" Sheriden replied.

"no I'm not she is fine, if it wasn't for Mackenzie you would be locked up by now, I was going to tell the police who it was in the picture... How the fuck did that conversation pop up? 'hey Antonio fancy killing someone else for me'" Carlos mocked in a girls voice.

"someone else?... You best not be bringing jay in to this Carlos! Jay is dead and buried, and it did kind of happen like that actually but ant refused to be involved. It was only when I called him about kendall ruining my own plans that he said he would help. Croft was meant to be poisoned not murdered" she said.

"they are both the same fucking thing Sheriden" Carlos spat back at her as she stood with her crutches.

"did you know?" Carlos said to James.

"she told me last night" James replied.

"did you get savannah to lie to me?" Carlos asked.

"no! Savannah didn't recognise the person in the picture just like no one else can, I knew you would that's why I asked you not to come today" she said panicked "... You were really going to go to the police?" She asked.

Carlos let go of my wrist and I sat down. My breathing was starting to feel shit, but I tried to pace it.

All I could hear in the background was shouting coming from Sheriden and Carlos.

"kenz are you okay?" I heard James say.

I shook my head.

"where's your inhaler Kenzie?" James asked,

I waved my hand to say I didn't want it, but James looked in my bag.

"shit Mackenzie... Are you okay?" Carlos asked as he realised that I couldn't breathe.

I shook my head Trying to stagger in a breath. my airways were so tight. James handed me the inhaler but i I chose to try and ride it out, the pregnancy is so early on, I didn't want to risk anything

"James get Logan here, he is really good at talking her out of these things" I heard Sheriden say.

Carlos sat next to me "Mackenzie... Shit ... its been a while since you got me for company during one of these, I've was never that good at it when you liked me... Erm remember when we went on the boat trip, with pais and everyone" he said soothingly. I nodded

"okay good... Well close your eyes and imagine your on that boat with all that fresh sea air" he said guiding my hand up so I would take a puff of my inhaler.

"Kenzie... Use it" he encouraged when he realised the air wasn't getting in.

"Los is she okay?" James asked.

"she is fine, its a panic attack not an asthma attack. She just needs to stay calm for a minute" he replied.

I still had my eyes shut. My breathing got worse.

Carlos held my hand, I could feel his fingers circling the inside of my palm.

I opened my eyes "I'm really sorry Los... What I did to you with Logan. You were so nice" I staggered out.

"water under the bridge Kenzie" he replied.

"Mackenzie I think you should use the puffer" James said.

I looked at Carlos, he looked at James  
"I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you she is pregnant" Carlos said to James.

"really?" James and Sheriden said at the same time.

I nodded  
"I'm sorry... I... Did a test last... Night" I tried heaving some air in to my lungs.

Sheriden gave a little scream of joy "oh my God... We are having a baby" she said looking at James.  
James gave Sheriden an amazing smile.

I dropped my inhaler on the floor, Carlos picked it up but Sheriden took it from him.

"do you need it" Sheriden asked

I shook my head.

"Mackenzie you need it" Carlos said.

I shook my head again "freezer" I gasped.

"no Mackenzie just take the puffer!" Carlos argued.

I shook my head again.

James then picked me up in his arms and ran out to the kitchen, he placed me on the floor then opened the door up to the freezer, he pulled a load of drawers completly out.  
"shit Mackenzie this best work" he said. I placed my head as far in the freezer as I could.

I heard Carlos walk in with Sheriden.  
"Kenzie Logan has just pulled up" Carlos said.

Logan came in and sat the other side of me. "what the fuck is going on?" He said

"she won't take the inhaler" James said.

"Mackenzie... Baby this is stupid, sticking your head in there isn't going to help" Logan said.

Logan stood up and tried to take the inhaler from Sheriden

"she doesn't want it Logan" Sheriden said.

"are you lot fucking stupid... She can't breathe with out this..." He said snatching it from Sheriden then sitting back on the floor with me forcing the inhaler in my hand.

"logues ...no!" I breathed at him.

"we agreed that you would carry on... " Logan said as he forced the inhaler up to my mouth.

"give her some space, she doesn't need you lot gawping at her" Logan, shouted.

Everyone left the room

The cold air from the freezer was working but the inhaler did the trick faster.

Once Logan could see I had calmed down he started talking.  
"baby...what were you thinking" he said in a soft voice "I can't leave you alone for two seconds can I?" He joked.

"I'm sorry" I said leaning my head on his shoulder.

"they know about the baby then?" He asked.

I nodded "Carlos told her"

"okay, look let's get you up to bed and calm everything down before those two jump all over you with baby facts okay.. Deal?" He asked.

"deal" I whispered

Logan walked me through the house with his hand around my waist, he saw me upstairs and tucked me in to bed and sat next to me stroking my hair back.

My tiredness from my sleepless night last night sent me off to a dream world fairly quickly, I was unsure how long I had been asleep for, but a knock at my bedroom door brought me back to consciousness but I kept my eyes shut as I felt Logan move from the bed and head towards the door.

"is she okay?" James asked after the door had opened.

"she is sleeping James, she hardly slept last night" Logan replied.

"we are just excited that's all... Sorry, I don't want to disturb you and piss you off" he said "your lucky Sheriden can't quite manage the stairs yet or she would be curled up next to Mackenzie" he said with a smile in his voice.

"no James your lucky I'm not pulling the plug on this entire thing... Fuck! you knew for five minutes she was pregnant and Sheriden is taking her inhaler away" Logan snapped.

"no Mackenzie said she didn't want it" James replied.

"she needs it, I mean it James, if Sheriden pulls a stunt like that again then deals off. Its in the contract that if Mackenzies life is in danger then we have the right to abort, so don't fuck with that okay. I love that girl so fucking much" Logan said getting emotional

"it really wasnt like that logues... But okay, when she feels up to it Sheriden and I would like to talk to her" James said then I heard the door shut and Logan came and sat back on the bed.

I wrapped an arm over his legs

"hey I thought you were asleep?" Logan said

"the door woke me up... Logan it was me that said I didn't want it james was trying his best. I'm sorry"

"its not your fault, Macks rule number one on this pregnancy is keep yourself alive. I can't do this if your gonna put yourself in danger when my back is turned. At the end of the day if air isn't getting in to you then the baby isn't getting any anyway" he said.

"I know...I know, I just didn't want to look bad on the first day" I said leaning my head on his lap.

"first day? Mackenzie this isn't a job that they can fire you from, this is our life baby. Macks I love you so much. Promise me you won't do anything like that again" he said

"I promise... I'm so sorry" I said.

"come here" he whispered pulling me up and then laying down beside me

Logan looked me in the eye, his eyes were so beautiful and honest looking.

Logan put his arm around me, and with his other hand he stroked my face.  
"Mackenzie this baby may belong to James and Sheriden but you belong to me. I'm starting to regret all of this now. I promise I will protect you as best I can but just promise me you won't get put under sheridens thumb. There is no getting out from it once your under there" he whispered

I smiled at him  
"I promise, its just an emotional day that's all. I love you so much logues.

"get some more rest then we will chat to them okay" he said.

"okay" I replied and snuggled in to Logans warm arms.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Savannahs story **_

As weeks sped past, Carlos finally confided in me what had been eating him from the inside out, Antonio had been involved in the Marcus croft murder.  
He didn't want to tell me that Antonio was a part of it, he worried that I would hate his family seeing as I was angry that croft had got off lightly but I had asked Carlos to talk to Antonio, I wanted to know exactly how he died, I wanted to know the pain he suffered.

Carlos had flown to Florida for these answers and some more for his own benefit.

He had been gone just over 12 hours and I missed him terribly.

To make matters worse I had just received a phone call from one of the girls I had become close to through the rape and sexual assault charity I was a patron for. She needed me desperately but I was stuck, Carlos drove me more or less everywhere, without him with me at home or Fran at work I wouldn't really go any where on my own.

I phoned Mackenzie, Logan and Sheriden but no one answered their phones, James did though...

"what savannah?" James snapped as he answered his phone.

"James I'm really needing a lift... Carlos is in Florida, is Logan there? He didn't answer his phone" I replied.

"get a cab savannah"was all James replied.

A tear ran down my face at the harsh treatment I was receiving and the lonelyness I felt without Carlos near me.  
"I can't get cabs James, I don't like being in the company of strange men...I just needed... Oh fuck it don't worry, I will see you later" I replied

"sav... I'm sorry, look I'm at a loose end... I can offer you a lift if you want one... Sorry I snapped, has Mackenzie not called you?" He asked

"no, I tried phoning her but she wouldn't answer... Is everything okay?" I replied.

James sighed down the phone "I will be round soon to give you a lift, I will explain then..." He said then hung up.

I got my purse ready, and tied my hair back, I was ready for bed but had just got dressed again to go and Try and talk to Karen, the girl that had phoned me from the charity.

I hated being on my own, I missed Carlos so much. He was my protector, my lover and my best friend. I was lost with out him. I sat at the kitchen table waiting for James. It didn't take him long.

"hey... Thanks for this... You were really quick from bel air?" I said as I opened up the door.

"Where are we heading to" was all James said in reply.

"San Diego... If that's okay? its to visit one of the girls who I have become close to from the charity, she phoned me in a right fucking state James, I'm really worried" I explained.

James just nodded, "its fine, cmon... Let's get going" he said

I got my bag and got in to the passenger side of the truck James had brought round.

"so why its everyone else so fucking busy? I tried kenz and Logan a bunch of times, they knew I was on my own as well...bastards" I said.

James glanced at me as he headed on to the freeway.  
"sav... Kenz is having a miscarriage... She is fine.. she is gonna be fine but there is a lot of emotion going on in that house right now" he said.

"oh my God... James... Fuck. Shit why didn't you tell me, I would never of dragged you out"

"I was already out, Sheri chucked me out, we have split up" he said.

"what? What do you mean?.. My sisters having a miscarriage and your not looking after her... Fuck sake James... Take me to Kenzie" I snapped.

"she is fine savannah... She has Logan and Sheriden looking after her, the worst is over, its been going on for a few days" he said.

"what do you mean a few days... James why didn't anyone tell me... She is my fucking sister!"

James sounded emotional "she started getting cramps a couple of days ago... She began bleeding in the early hours of this morning, we took her to the doctors, they checked her out and said the cervix was open... She was losing it... Sheriden lost the plot, I said some fucking dumb stuff to her after the quake, she said she doesn't want us to be together if there is no baby... Its my own fault, I was at a hotel, I left bel air this morning"

"James I'm so sorry, I'm sure Kenzie will fall pregnant again soon, how long do you have to wait after a miscarriage?" I asked.

"both Logan and Sheriden are refusing to do it again, Mackenzie just feels its her own fault because she had been on her medication... She blames that for causing it, she was only ten weeks pregnant sav" he said then started crying.

"shit... James turn the car around, I can't drag you to San Diego like this...fuck!" I said.

"its fine, there is nothing I can do stuck in that hotel that will help Mackenzie... I can help you" he said.

I didn't reply, I couldn't handle see him cry any more so I just stayed silent for a long time.

"how is your modelling coming along?" James finally broke the silence with.

"fuck James... Who gives a fuck about my modelling, you have just lost a baby... Why in the hell are you splitting up with Sheriden? You should be there for her not fucking about going to hotels and running away leaving Logan to look after her and Kenzie" I snapped.

"don't bull shit me savannah! don't give me the all high and mighty... Sheriden threw me out, she wants me to have a better life, she suffered you know? She lost a baby with kendall once and it messed her up really bad... She has inflicted that same pain on to Mackenzie, Logan and me now, she wants to cut us all out of her life to protect us." James said back.  
"look I don't want to talk about it with you, I can't fix this... I can't do anything that will make it better or save my marriage... Nothing!" James added

I sighed "I'm sorry... I will phone Mackenzie tomorrow... She is okay isn't she?" I replied.

"she is uncomfortable but fine, there are no long term effects for her body so the doctor told, she has an, appointment in a couple of weeks to make sure it has all come out as it should" he said.

"Sheriden will calm down James... You know what she is like" I said.

"she won't calm down, I said I wanted a baby, I told her if we didn't then we wouldn't have a future... She is chucking my own words back at me now, she went bananas at me, screaming at me to get out, she was hitting my chest and crying so bad, Logan in the end told me to leave my own house because Mackenzie was getting stressed out at the noise Sheriden was causing... Its over sav... I've lost her... I've lost her" he repeated.

I gave his arm a squeeze, I didn't have any kind words for him, nothing seemed suitable.

"so what's the deal with this girl, she a friend of yours?" James said changing the subject

"yeah... Kind of, her name is Karen she was in a very violent relationship with a guy, he eventually locked her in his bedroom and just ... Raped her when he wanted, she was tied to the bed. Hardly fed, he pretty much almost killed her, she only got freed because he got her pregnant she begged him to just let her go to hospital to have the baby, he was caught after the birth, she was going to adopt the baby out but she had some counselling sessions and kept her in the end. she is really messed up though James. I think myself so lucky with what happened to me when I hear some of the other things that have happened to some girls" I finished.

James just looked at me in disbelief

"James I heard you tell Mackenzie that your cousin was raped when she was 15, that night I kissed Logan... How is she doing now? Was it a long time ago?" I asked softly.

James gave me a look with a sympathetic smile. He pulled in to a gas station before he spoke.  
"savannah... My cousin was in a bad place, she... Well we only found out about her being raped in a letter" he said.

I was confused "was she advised to write her feelings down? I've always been told to talk as openly as I can about them" I said.

"it was a suicide note sav... She took her own life, slit her wrists in the bathroom a few weeks after she was attacked, she was scared she was pregnant and didn't want to get in to trouble, that's why I didn't want Sheriden to get you mixed up in all the modelling stuff so soon, I thought you should be allowed to come to terms with what had happened... I was scared for you" he said "I won't be a minute, just gonna fill the tank up" he finished and hopped out the truck.

Poor James, I had treated him with not a lot of respect when I was first raped just because he was a man, I had no clue that all that had happened to his family.

A few minutes passed and James got back in.  
"James I'm so sorry... I don't really know what else to say" I explained

"it was a long time ago savannah... Don't beat yourself up about it, be honoured that you are helping all these girls" he replied.

I smiled, I was honoured. The rest of the journey to San Diego was quiet between James and I, once we had arrived at my destination the apartment building that Karen lived in didn't look the friendliest.

"do you want me to walk you up?" James asked.

"if you don't mind... Sorry, Carlos doesn't realise how much he does for me... Nor do I for that matter" I said as I got out of the car.

"you guys are doing well for a flash in the pan romance huh" James said with a smile.

"yeah... I'm besotted with him. He is my world James. I love him so fucking much" I replied.

James smiled, we made our way up the stairs to Karens apartment on the third floor.

I knocked, she answered in a state, tearful, slightly drunk. The baby was crying in the back ground.

"hi Karen... This is my very good friend James, he gave me a lift from Los Angeles, do you mind if he comes in" I asked.

"its fine come in" she said.

"so things are getting a bit much then?" I said soothingly as I sat down on her sofa, James sat opposite me in a chair.

"savannah I can't do it, I've really tried, and tried... Its making me more depressed each day" she said.

I moved to sit next to her and gave her a cuddle.

"I've tried my hardest for 8 months you know... There is just nothing there. I made the wrong choice savannah" she said then burst in to tears.

I stroked her back trying to console her.  
"there is no wrong or right decision in this Karen, at the end of the day its what you know you feel inside, you tried... Feel good about that because you should... Is it okay if I pick her up. She sounds stressed which won't help you huh?" I asked still hearing the baby cry.

"yeah sure" she replied.

I walked in to the direction of the noise, I had never been to Karens house before, we had always met up at the centre and chatted over coffee, I told her what had happened to me and vice versa, it was slightly unorthodox that I was meeting her like this now but you can't put a schedule around someones feelings when it comes to rape.

I picked the baby up, and walked her out to the lounge.  
"is she hungry?" I said to Karen over the loud cries of the baby.

"I tried feeding her a while ago but she pushed the bottle away" she said.

I tried cuddling her and jigging her about, I even tried the bottle that was on the side but she didn't want it.

"do you mind if I try" James asked Karen.

Karen just shrugged at him, then James took the baby and within minutes she was quiet.

"maslows magic touch" I said grinning.  
"so Karen what are you planning on doing, I don't know much about the next step you should take" I said

"I'm going to phone one of the numbers I was given at the birth, they are going to take her in to care... I feel guilty savannah, I wish I had the choice of an abortion, I knew I would never love her... Being talked in to keeping her was a mistake... Not just for me but for her" Karen said.

I nodded and held her hand, just letting her talk without butting in was what I had been taught to do... James on the other hand hadn't been given any training.

"your giving her up for adoption?" James asked.

"James... Honestly I know today is hard for you... Maybe its best you wait in the car" I snapped.

James didn't even look at me. He moved to sit next to Karen with the baby in his arms.  
"Karen... I'm begging you to not put her in to care right now" James said.

Karen just stared at him but I interrupted "James you have no clue what you are talking about... Honestly, its for the best of the baby and the best for Karen... Don't do this James" I said panicking.

"no... No I mean... Karen look, do you know who I am?" He asked.

Karen nodded "yes I'm very aware who you are" she said.

"what I'm saying is please don't put your baby in to care, personally I'm having so many problems right now but I would love to give your baby a home, with love, and care and an education that will make her become something amazing"

"James!" I snapped

James looked at me but then turned back to Karen.

"I am registered with an open adoption agency Karen, I have both mine and my wifes paperwork all cleared, but waiting for someone to choose us can take years if we are lucky to get picked at all... If you choose us we could look after her... Offer her an amazing life, she would want for nothing I promise you that Karen" James said looking her in the eye.

"James I am seriously pissed of with you please hand me the child and wait in the car!" I hissed.

But both him and Karen ignored me.

"your wife was on the television... And she helped savannah?" She asked James.

James had tears coming from his eyes "yes... Sheriden"

Karen nodded. "I did want her you know, I tried my hardest to look after her... She just looks so much like her father... More so everyday... I know its not her fault but I've tried... So hard" Karen said.

"I can offer her an amazing life. My wife can't have children and our surrogate has just miscarried, Sheriden is going to leave me if we don't have a baby... I will love and cherish your baby Karen please... Register with the open adoption, I can give you a number for them and pay any bills you need paying for it... I'm begging on my knees... Please" he said.

"Karen you do not have to be black mailed in to any kind of arrangement like this, James I am disgusted with you... Please wait in the car... NOW!" I said sternly.

James stood up and handed the baby over to me.

He pulled a card out from his wallet and handed it to Karen, "that's my mobile on that card. Please... Get in touch" James said then walked out the door.

"I am so sorry about that Karen, it was a mistake asking him to walk me up here... I'm truly sorry" I said

I stayed talking about the options that Karen had and how she was feeling about things for a good hour or so and left late in the evening and reluctantly got back in the car with James.

"I don't even want to talk to you James, so don't fucking bother" I said as I buckled my seat belt in.

I got my phone out of my purse and called Carlos' number.

"hey sav, I thought you would be asleep by now" he answered the phone with.

"no I'm in San Diego Los, just driving back with James, I went to visit one of the girls from the charity... Los I miss you please come home" I said but the line on Carlos' end sounded hectic.

"sorry sav, what was that? I can't hear you very well?" Carlos said just as I heard a girl giggle in the back ground.

"Carlos where are you? Who the fuck was that?" I snapped

"I'm just out with javi and the crew that's all baby... Just in a club" he said

I heard the girl laugh again in the back ground.

"Los who is that girl?" I said.

"oh, that's Tammy... You remember Tammy right?" He replied.

"the girl from sheridens party?" I said

"yeah, I just bumped in to-" I hung up on him.

"all okay?" James asked.

I started crying and James pulled the truck over in to a layby.

"he... Is ... With his... Ex" I blubbed out.

"savannah don't worry about that. Carlos loves you, I've never seen him so happy... Come here" he said giving me a hug.

My cell rang a few moments later.

I answered it but didn't speak, I didn't want Carlos to know I was crying.

"savannah... Savs? Why did you hang up baby? I love you...savannah are you okay?... Please talk to me" he said softly down the phone, he must of moved from the club, I couldn't hear anything apart from his breathing.

"why are you with your ex girlfriend?" I said as calmly as I could, James started the truck again and got moving.

"I just bumped in to her about ten minutes before you called. savannah I love you I wouldn't mess us up by doing anything silly" he said

"well where are you now?" I asked,

"In my brothers car driving home" he replied.

"so if I hadn't of called you then you would of stayed at the night club rubbing your self up against your slutty ex" I hissed at him down the phone.

"no I wouldn't of savannah... I only ever want to rub myself over one girl, the girl I married, the girl I fell in love with... Savs are we having our first arguement?" He asked.

"no... I don't know, I don't want to argue Los... I love you, I'm fucked without you" I said and broke down crying again.

"I will be back in the morning okay, I will get the first flight I can... Savannah I love you... You don't do jealousy baby, you're way too hot to even have to worry about it... Savannah you're my world, I wish I was there with you. Are you at home or with Kenzie?" He said.

"I'm on the freeway coming back from San Diego with James, Los... Tonight is proper fucked up. I need you baby... I need you." I sobbed.

"savannah what's wrong, talk to me, I've not been gone a day yet, I knew I shouldn't of left you behind on your own." He replied. "why are you with James?" He added.

"just here is great Carlos" I heard from a female voice on the phone.

"your giving her a lift home?... Carlos?... I'm going to fucking kill that whore. I hate you Carlos Pena, you're just another scum of the earth man that only thinks about his cock, you're no better than Marcus fucking Croft!" I shouted and ended the call. I turned my phone off, hitched my knees up on the car seat and cried all the way home.

I must of fallen to sleep on the journey home, I woke up in James' truck to find him going through my purse.

"hey, just getting your key out, I was going to carry you in" he said quickly before I had the chance to moan at him.

"Thanks" I replied.

I got out the truck and walked up to the door, James unlocked it and we walked in, I dumped my purse on the dining table and slipped my shoes off then let my pony tail out.

"you wanna talk about it?" James said helping himself to my vodka and checking his phone. He handed me a glass.

"he was taking her home, alone in the car... I bet he is fucking her now... Sheriden said she was a bitch"

"Tammy?" James asked downing the drink then pouring another.

I nodded.

"Tammy was fucking at least three guys behind his back before they officially ended... I think he only knows about one, but Kacey... My ex... she filled me in on things occasionally about Tammy" James replied

"what do I do James... I'm so angry... He was meant to be talking to Antonio, sorting things out, I wanted to know exactly how that fucker croft died, why is Carlos even going out to clubs... Is Carlos a cheater James? Be truthful" I asked

"he is not a cheater savannah... I know how croft died, Antonio won't tell Carlos, as far as ant is concerned it never happened... Get some of these down you and I will tell all... You can tell me a bit more about Karen in return" he said again glancing at his phone as is vibrated

"that was fucked up what you said to her back there... You can't do things like that James, no matter how bad things are for you... Not when there is a baby involved, she is heart broken you know... You filled her with ideas and you haven't even mentioned this to Sheriden yet! Its fucked up... Its not like you to act like that" I said as I downed my next shot of vodka that James had lined up for me.

"I'm desperate sav... This is my last hope or I lose her, I'm scared... I can't lose her... What's the Babies name?" He asked.

"tell me about croft first... Was it painful... Be graphic" I said smiling.

"ant sold him drugs,croft took them but he recognised Antonio as Carlos' brother from pictures he had seen in the press. Croft challanged antonio then Ant lost his cool, they fought. I don't know all the details but I was told that Antonio watched as that wire cord was wrapped round his neck, his mouth was frothing up spit and ant saw crofts blood vessels pop in his eyes. He knew he was gonna die... The wire cut his neck it was wound so tight. I saw pictures in court... He looked disgusting savannah... He suffered" James finished.

I blinked away tears  
"poor Antonio... Living with that must be hard" was all I whispered out.

"that's more or less all I know" James said downing another shot.

"I take it your staying the night then? Thanks for asking!" I said as he poured another glass out.

James shrugged "its late... No point going back to the hotel... I hate hotels" he replied.

"Georgina" I said looking at James

"huh?" He replied looking puzzled

"Georgina is the name of the baby girl, she is 8 months old, Karen has no family of her own, no one even realised she had gone missing when she was being held imprisoned by that man. He got life but she was told he could be out in 15 years"

"I want that baby savannah... Did she say anything? Anything at all about it after I left?" James asked.

I sighed "she asked a lot of questions about Sheriden, obviously Sheri hasn't painted the best portrait of herself in the press lately but she did say she would call you, she likes the idea of open adoption, she had never thought about it before, but don't get your hopes up okay..." I replied.

"you've changed savannah... Your really grown up now" James said out of the blue.

"things change us huh, life shapes us all differently... I wonder what Carlos is doing?" I sighed.

"he is at the airport, he has tried to phone me 36 times and sent me 18 texts" James said with a smile wiggling his phone at me.

"really?... He is coming home?" I said feeling emotional again.

"yeah.. He said the girl in the car wasn't Tammy, it was javis girlfriend, javi was there too. And he says he loves you... He says that a lot oh and he said look on keek" James finished.

I wiped my eyes and loaded keek up on my laptop. I then pressed on Carlos' newest stream that he had entitled 'savannnnnnnnahhhhh!'

James and I watched

'wazzup everybody, quick keek to say I'm just waiting for my Plane back to LA... Errr... Sav, I love you, I miss you, I hate being away from you. Your my baby girl... I'm tired... I just wanna be with you baby... I love you... Stay safe everybody. Night savannah... I've got 5 seconds... I love you savs'

The screen froze and Carlos' face just looked up at me from under his baseball cap that he wore.

"he loves me" I said smiling at the screen.

"he does but there are your haters look" James said smiling pointing at some of the comments people had written. He knew I loved to piss the rushers off.

I read some out  
'Carlos get a grip on reality my friend'  
30 minutes ago by truerush

'savlos is sooooo done now Carlos... Get rid!'  
30 minutes ago by angelpena

'awwww Carlos your so cute savlos rules!'  
1 hour ago by btrismylife

'Eurgh what do you see in that dirty slut Los... Damaged goods baby boi xxx'  
1 hour ago by henderwhore18

'omg this is so adorable but I cannot stand that red headed bitch'  
1 hour ago by Mrscarlospena

'savannah Pena I wish I was you'  
1 hour ago by penaswag4 was the last one I read out

"I expect twitter is gonna be full of hate too huh" I said to James.

"yeah just leave it alone savannah... You're not in the right frame of mind for all that lot.

"no Defo not in the right frame of mind... I will try and put in a good word for you to Karen okay... You wanna keek with me?" I asked

"I will appear in the video but I dont want to talk" James replied.

I recorded myself sat next to James, he was in the video but just the back ground.  
I spoke in to my camera  
' ... today has been emotional for a lot of reasons. I'm grateful for so many things, but mostly for my husband... Carlos I love you... Get home safe baby, I can't wait to see your face... I'm tired too and just want to snuggle up with you Los... But James is looking after me he is fairly cuddly too' I said and rested my head on James' shoulder, he moved his arm and gave me a hug. 'see you in the morning baby... Bye'

I said just as the last few seconds ticked by.

"rushers are going to hate you savs" James said

I laughed "I hope so, little bitches" I smiled.

"you get more like Sheriden everyday you know" James said.

"I will take that as a compliment James... Where's the vodka?" I said

James shoved the bottle on my lap, I just swigged from it.

"you and Sheriden will be okay you know" I said.

"I really fucking hope so sav, we haven't had sex in weeks, and she talks about kendall so much, I just hope this isn't the excuse she has been looking for" he replied.

"course its not... Its just been such a rough time lately... For all of us..." I said then started crying

"what's the matter?" James asked

"nothing really... Well everything but the drink makes me emotional... Sorry" I replied.

"oh savannah, come here" he said pulling me in for a hug.

"I'm sorry James" I sniffed

"sav its fine... Drink makes you emotional and it makes me horny... We all suffer in the end from it" he said pulling half out of the hug, I couldn't help notice an erection bulging out from his trousers.

He looked at me and I looked at him, I then went to kiss him, our lips touched for Less than a second before I slapped him around the face.

"Jesus! What the fuck? You kissed me savannah!" James shouted.

"I know... Fuck... I'm sorry" I said.

I then threw my self at James maslow, I wanted to be fucked like I used to, forget who I had become because of what two men had shaped my life to.

James didn't fight me off  
"fuck me!" I breathed out in between heavy kisses.

"gladly" he replied pulling at my shirt.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Savannahs story**_

James and I were currently madly pulling at each others clothes on the floor in my living room.

I had not looked at James in a sexual way for a long time, I used to fancy the pants off of him after I met him at the meet and greet but it kind of died down after I realised he was so down to earth and didn't act like a boy with his looks should.

I was sat on his lap as he got my top over my head and started kissing my chest.

My breathing was insane.  
"James!... Shit... Fuck what are we doing?" I said

James looked me in the eye, the look he gave me was pure sexual.  
"I thought you wanted to fuck?" He replied.

"do you think I'm sexy James?" I asked

James looked me over "yeah you are a whole load of sexy savannah... you wanna stop?" He asked catching his breath

I shook my head, I liked the way that he looked at me, its how boys used to look at me.  
"no I wanna fuck... No foreplay though okay" I replied then undid his trousers.

"I'm sick of foreplay savs... Just want my dick in you" he said.

Once our bottom halves were gone James went inside me. He was big and it felt good as I rode him on the floor, he touched my breasts, he wasnt treating me with kid gloves like Carlos always did. James was just fucking me... It felt good, really good.

I ran my fingers down his absolutely perfect chest, he was complete perfection, his skin, his tan his entire body, no wonder Sheriden was cuckoo about him.

"... James... It feels so fucking good" I screamed out.

"savannah you are something else... Your so sexy... Jesus... Come here" he said pulling me down and kissing me.

Our sex session went on for some time, James eventually moved me off of him and layed me down on the floor, with my legs over his shoulders he carried on fucking the daylights out of me before I came, James pulled out of me just before he came and he watched joyfully as he covered my body in his ejaculation.

He pulled his pants back on shortly after.

"I'm gonna go grab a shower... Will you still be here when I get back?" I questioned

James frowned at me " course I'm still gonna be here... Is that okay?... I can go of you want" he replied.

" no... No I want you to stay... It would be weird if you just went... You won't tell anyone will you James" I said clutching my clothes over my modesty

"go and have a shower sav, don't ask dumb questions, we will have a chat in a minute... you okay?" He asked.

I nodded, then walked out the room and up stairs to my bedroom and the ensuite.

After my shower I walked out to the bedroom with just a towel on and almost jumped out of my skin.  
James was in my bed.

"fuck James, you scared me, I wasn't expecting you to be in here" I snapped.

He smiled at me "sorry... Am I not allowed in here" he said.

"its fine just remind me to chuck the sheets in the wash... If Carlos notices strange dark hairs all over the place we are both in the shit" I said drying myself off

"you sound like you have done this before?" James questioned with a grin.

"not with Carlos I haven't, before him I have though... Do you cheat on Sheriden a lot?" I asked.

"I've never cheated on her before, I slept with a few girls on tour but we had split up" he confessed

"why the fuck are we doing this James" I said shaking my head.

"come here sav... Bring that beautiful body next to me" was all he said.

I did go to him,I got in to bed and snuggled in to his amazing chest.

"do you know that was the first time I've had sex and not thought about those two men at some point during it... Your different James... Good different, I do love Carlos though, just like I know you love Sheriden... I'm not sure why this is happening... Drunk I guess"

"I have a lot of reasons, vodka is not mine though, I'm pissed off, hurting, confused... Needed proper sex so bad... Sheriden finds it painful still to have any kind of weight on her hips, sex is a problem at the moment... We do other stuff but... I need sex" he said.

"do you feel bad?... I don't have much of a conscience... But I worry about you having one, Sheriden will ruin me if she found out about this, not to mention what her and Carlos' family will think of me" I said.

"I'm not gonna tell savannah... It was just some... Hot sex... Your so sexy, I guess I've got a thing for models" he said.

"I don't think your the only one with that problem" I joked

"what do you mean?" He asked

"oh don't worry about it... You can't stay in here with me all night you know, Carlos' flight will be back early morning" I explained

"yeah that's cool, I'll go in the spare later... Why don't you like foreplay?" He asked.

"once you've had a fist rammed in side you against your will it kind of puts you off" I said.

"so you and Carlos just ... Do it, no touching?" He asked cautiously.

"we try but I get a bit freaked out when he gets down to the good stuff" I replied.

"what about when you... You know, touch yourself" he said grinning.

I laughed as my cheeks reddened "James your not at all like I imagined... I haven't as such... Touched myself In a long time

"well you should then Carlos ...or me could see what you like..." He said

"you want me to finger myself in front of you... James maslow , you are hilarious. This has got to be some kinky dream I'm having"

"try it you might like it" he said pulling the towel away from me and sitting up to look at my body "your body is insanely hot savannah... My god" he said biting his lip.

"I can't... Its embarrassing... You touch me... See if I freak out" I said.

"I don't want you to freak out savannah"

"I can't believe how different you are in the bedroom James, your always so sensible, I imagined you and Sheriden doing it with the lights out then brushing your teeth after" I laughed.

James chuckled at me then ran his hand over my thigh.  
"I think it turns me on more that I'm not meant to be touching you here" he said circling his hand just inches from my privates.

I moved his hand away "I'm sorry James... I just can't" I eventually said.

He gave me a smile and layed back down on the bed next to me  
"savannah I need that baby to save my marriage... I need you to tell Karen that Sheriden is a good person" he said softly, covering me up with the bed sheets.

"you want me to lie" I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"its not lying... Sheri is a good person" he retorted

"good as in she overdoses, plots murder, pays people off, cheats on you and has fucked half the male population of the world

"okay then will you please tell Karen that Sheri will be a fantastic mom... I know she can be talked in to it... I know she can" james said.

"james I don't want to talk her in to it, I don't mind putting a good word in but I don't want her more fucked up by regretting a huge decision about her baby"

"she wouldn't regret it, imagine the life Sheriden and I could give that child"

"yeah but its not about the money you have James, its the stability of your life. Me and kenz had a great upbringing until my Dad messed things up, we didn't have much money bit we had a good home life" I said softly.

"savannah all we want in the world is a child, I love Sheri so much, and I know she loves me, a baby would mean the world but things just keep going wrong"

"you say you love her but you just fucked my brains out and Sheriden ran off with kendall"

"I do love her, this is just sex, it doesn't effect how I feel about her... it sounds really vain but when you hang around with all these beautiful girls its hard to say no all the time. Its only Coz Sheri and I can't physically do it, I said that already" James said circling one of his fingers on my shoulder

"you've changed you know... Look I will have a word with Karen, see if I can get you guys to meet up. I don't think Mackenzie will find this very heart warming though James, she just lost your baby and you don't even seem to care"

"don't seem to care? I've spent all day crying my fucking eyes out wondering why I'm not destined to have a fucking break anytime soon, all I want is a happy life with my beautiful wife and a family. Its not too much to ask for savannah!"

"I guess not. I'm sorry... I will try my best okay... Maybe you could do a favour for me in return" I asked

"sav I promise I'm not gonna breath a word about us fucking, I'm taking it to the grave, I suggest you do to" he replied.

"no not that, I've been approached by some really cool people to appear in a music video, but Sheriden put it in my contract that I can't do any thing on the side as she won't have control over me" I explained.

"just ask her, she will let you" James said casually now rubbing his nose along my jaw line kissing me gently as he moves his head.

I smiled at the kisses "I did, she said no because its a Kanye West video... Are you always horny?" I chuckled as he ran his finger down my neck.

"oh I see, no she won't let you mix with them savannah, remember she wants to protect you" he said ignoring my question and climbing on top of me.

"I want to do the video James, it will make me huge... How pissed off will she be if I just do it" I whispered to him as he kissed my chest.

He looked up at me "she will ruin you savannah, you won't work in fashion again... Your under contract she could take you to court for breaking it"

"but I'm married to Carlos she wouldn't do that because of him" I argued

James raised an eyebrow "course she would. Sav your her prodigy she will make you huge, your going to be bigger than Sheriden and earn more money. Trust her, she has some great ideas in store for your career. She is living her dreams through you, your the most amazing face that is on her books, that is a quote, she loves you savannah... can I touch you... Please... You trust me don't you" he added.

I nodded and then felt James' hand on my privates, I couldn't move for a few seconds. The fear of his touch froze me.  
"relax savannah, enjoy it, feel how good it can be" James replied

I held my breath for several seconds as my body adjusted to the touch of James maslow. He was right, it did feel good, James ran his fingers slowly over my clit, the more he touched me the more I wanted it.

James attempted to place a finger inside me but I think he must of felt my anxiety as my grip on his shoulder tightened as I became nervous so he took it out and carried on just playing with my clit.

He lifted his head up and kissed me on the lips as he pleasured me with his fingers, james' kiss was slow and passionate his tongue felt hot against my own as they circled together.

The feeling he was inflicting on me felt amazing, it had been so long since I had cum by being touched. I had always enjoyed it before the rape. James was now allowing me to remember a piece of me I thought I had lost, but as I came in his hand I felt like the girl I used to be, the fiery bitch that had a heart of stone. The savannah I enjoyed being and not the scaredy cat weak person Marcus croft had made me become.

"how was that?" James whispered inbetween his delicious kisses.

"oh my fucking Christ... It was amazing... Thankyou" I replied, it sounded silly to thank someone for doing what he had just done but I think he knew why I was grateful.

"any time" was all he replied as he gave me one last kiss and got off of my body and layed next to me.

I caught my breath and had a quick think.

"James if I try something can you ... This is going to sound odd but could you ... Gently pull my hair?" I said.

James looked at me, his face didn't share any expression that I could read. James knew why I hated my hair being touched so he should appreciate the effort I was about to go through for what I had in mind.

"okay but I'm not keen on this, you have reasons I guess" was all he said.

I then worked my head down James body and placed his hard cock in my mouth, I sucked on his length for a while before I gave him the go ahead with the wave of my hand for him to touch my hair.

He stroked the back of my head to start off with as I moved my mouth over his big cock. It felt okay, I was very at ease with him, when he did gently tug at my hair it didn't seem to affect me. I was so pleased. I felt relief wash over me.

"savannah... Come here" James said.

I looked up at him.

"Come here" he said again, so I worked my way back up to head height with him, kissing his tummy and his chest as I went. He had a sexy little mole on his neck that I kissed until I met his lips.

"what's wrong?" I asked

"nothings wrong, I just think you should save some of your new achievements for Carlos" he said.

"James your lovely... Really lovely" I said.

James grinned at me "not really, I wanna cum on your tits" he said as he rolled me off him and then straddled his legs over my waist as he started jacking off in front of me.

I laughed at him. "last one then your in the spare room... Okay!"

"okay" he agreed "and as from tomorrow this never happened, I will deny it ever happened" he added.

"what happened?" I mocked as James grinned at me as he worked his magic on himself.

"that's my girl savs" James replied then came all over my chest.

He gave me one more seductive kiss on my lips as a goodbye then walked out my bedroom and in to the spare room down the hall.

I smiled to myself, I changed all the bedding and had my third shower of the day and went to bed feeling overly pleased with myself.


	27. Chapter 27

Sheridens story

Logan knocked on my bedroom door early in the morning.  
"hey princess... How are you feeling today?" He said as he sat down and wiped a tear away from my face.

"I'm okay, how is Mackenzie?" I asked

"she is doing much better today, she slept well which I think helped, I've just given her some pain killers, she is still getting the cramps, but the bleeding is slowing down" Logan replied.

Yesterday Mackenzie started bleeding, she was ten weeks in to the pregnancy, but a doctor confirmed miscarriage. I had an arguement with James, Logan said he didn't want to try the surrogacy again, and I agreed with him. James kept going on about keep trying but I just lost the plot with him, I hit him and eventually Logan said that its best he leave so I calm down as my shouting wasn't helping Mackenzie.

"I'm glad she is feeling better, I'm so sorry I've inflicted this pain on you both" I sniffed, I hadn't slept all night. I dread to think what I must look like with puffy cried out eyes.

"its not your fault, just a part of life... Princess have you spoken to James yet?" Logan asked

"no I've blocked him on my phone" I replied

"why Sheriden?... Your being stupid, making this entire thing worse by acting like that towards him." he said

"I will talk to him logues, I love him, I just need some space, I'm sorry about yesterday I didn't mean to act like that, I just wanted to take it out on someone"

"look I've talked with Mackenzie and a lot of things were said yesterday in the heat of the drama, kenzie said she definitely wants to do the ivf again" Logan said softly as he took my hand in reassurance

"no... I can't do the heart ache Logan, honestly. I'm sorry, I will talk to Mackenzie when she is out of bed, I'm thankful to the both of you" I said as my phone buzzed on the bed side table that was in my makeshift downstairs bedroom that James had organised for me.

"maybe that's James on a different number" Logan said with a smile.

I picked the phone up and read the text that had just been sent.

As I read it I started crying.

"princess? Cmon, don't cry Sheriden... Was it James?" Logan asked.

I dabbed my eyes "no its kendall, I made a play date with him last week so I could spend time with Ophelia and he has just cancelled, he cancelled the last one too... Oh god... Logan that was the only little bit of happiness I had left in me, kendall hates me, I'm losing phee too now aren't I?" I said then sobbed hysterically on Logans shoulder.

"Sheriden I'm sure he has a good reason, its not just you, he cancelled on me and kenz the other day too... Don't get upset princess, when were you meant to be going round?" He asked as he rocked me in his arms.

"today at ten, I was really looking forward to it, I used to see her everyday. I haven't seen her for two weeks now... What's got in to him?"

"I'm not sure... Maybe he is finding his feet without Reno... I honestly don't know" Logan replied

I wiped a hand over my face  
"you know what?... Fuck it, I'm just going to go round, he should of phoned me shouldn't he! Not taken the cowards way out with a text that he doesn't know I have read... Excuse me I need to get dressed for a play date!" I said to Logan patting his leg.

Logan smiled at me and headed for the door "keep up your sass Sheriden... It's good for you" he said as he reached for the door handle.

"oh Logan! Sorry can you grab me some leggings and a top, James usually gets my clothes down for me from upstairs" I said realising now that I had no help without James here with me, I could walk with the use of one crutch but going up stairs was yet to be mastered.

"yeah course" Logan replied

"thanks I will call a cab and just go to kendalls... It will be good to talk about Mackenzie with him" I said now thinking about the baby I had lost with kendall when I dated him 3 years ago

"okay just don't forget about James, he is hurting too princess okay" he said

"I know and I won't... Just not sure what to say to James that's all" I replied.

Logan smiled and left the room.

Once I had got myself washed dressed and ready I got in to the cab once it had arrived and made my way to kendalls. There was no way he was being a prick and keeping me away from phee.

As the taxi pulled in to the familiar looking drive I saw his car in the drive and windows of the house were open so I told the cab driver that he could leave as I got out.

I felt emotional as I walked up to the door step. I gave the knocker a light tap.  
After a few moments kendall answered, he looked well, a new hair cut and he was oozing swagger with his clothes.

"Sheriden? Sorry I wasn't expecting you. I sent you a message saying today wasnt good for me" he said looking uneasy.

"oh did you, sorry my reception isn't great lately, I will have to get a new phone soon, can I just come in for a quick cuddle with phee" I said hearing her babbling away in the background.

"erm... Yeah sure... Come on in" he said

"Thankyou... So what plans have you got for today?" I asked

"nothing really" he said absent mindedly

"then why cancel the play date?" I asked sitting down on the sofa, Ophelia crawled over to me from where she sat on the floor, I picked her up, feeling a lump form in my throat, I was trying my hardest to not cry"

"oh... Erm... Well I am going out later, but you know... Just busy that's all" he rambled out.

"kendall we are okay aren't we, you have been avoiding me like the plague lately" I said.

"Sheriden I'm not avoiding you, I'm just busy that's all, it's got nothing to do with you or us... Me and you" he said correcting himself.

"well it feels to me like it is" I argued "I don't want to lose Ophelia" I said with a tear escaping.

"your not going to lose anything" kendall said.

We both turned at the sound of a door closing up stairs.

"oh is your mom here?" I asked putting Ophelia back down on the floor as she squirmed to reach for a toy she had left behind.

"no Sheriden it's... Fran" he said just as Francesca Hamilton Smith appeared at the top of the stairs and made her way down.

She had a look of shock on her face that probably matched my own.

"Sheriden?... Hi, sorry I didn't know you were here" she said to me.

"hi, yeah... like wise" I replied.

kendall then turned back to me "Sheri... Listen before you go off on one, this isn't a secret it's just early days, don't start having a go at her for taking phee away from you, because that's not what's happening okay" kendall said jumping on the defence as Fran sat down on the sofa opposite me.

"I'm not going to go off on one" I said now tears falling from me, I looked at Fran and she turned to look at her feet "I just want to see phee more than once a fortnight" I blubbed

"well Sheriden I don't mind that but once your own baby arrives you won't have much time for phee anyway... Don't cry" he said looking very awkward, not knowing what to do, hug me in front of Fran or just leave me to cry, he settled for a shoulder pat, and rubbed my back.

"there won't be a baby, Mackenzie miscarried... I did get your text but I wanted to see phee so I ignored it... I just wanted to see her, she is all I have" I sobbed

"oh Sheriden... Oh honey I'm so sorry... Fuck... I'm so sorry Sheri" kendall whispered as the back rub disappeared and I received a full on hug, which made me cry more with emotion.

"kendall I'm gonna go, Sheriden needs you today" Fran said standing up.

"no Fran don't feel you have to go because of me" I cried

"honestly Sheriden it's fine... I'm so so sorry about your baby, my heart goes out to you and James, it really does" she said as she stroked the top of ophelias head as a way of saying goodbye to her.

Kendall let go of me and walked Fran to the door, they talked quietly but I could still hear them.

"you don't have to go" kendall said as he took one of her hands at the door.

"it's fine boo, listen Call me later and we can meet up, I will cook dinner for you and Ophelia tonight if you like?" She said smiling away with her massive beautiful eyes, her long blonde hair full of curls.

"yeah that's a deal... You take care. Love you" he said kissing her on the lips.

"love you too boo" she replied after the kiss and turned away from the door.

"Fran?" kendall called out after her " did you want a hand with the garage door?"

"no I got the hang of it" I heard her call back.

"okay well just kick it if it won't go up" kendall smiled

"sure thing babe... See you later" I heard from out side.

Kendall gave her a wave then closed the door

"I'm sorry you found out like this" he said as he sat down next to me again.

"I didn't know you two even knew each other" I said wiping my face.

"Well we met at savannahs party, got talking and hit it off, she reminded me of you to begin with but she is... Great... Amazing in fact, we are taking it slow but things are going really well"

"I'm pleased for you kendall... James and I are arguing, he kind of got thrown out yesterday in all the drama of Mackenzie, I guess he is at a hotel" I sighed.

"Sheriden don't tell me shit like this, I have no desire to make my feelings for you stronger, your like the cocaine and I'm the addict" kendall said.

"I'm not going to leave him, I just lost my cool yesterday, took my anger out on him, so I've no desire to tempt you away from Fran" I said

"He was with savannah last night, he was in one of her keeks that I saw, she looked a bit worse for wear in it, missing Carlos I guess. did you want to talk about the baby Sheri or just hang out with phee?"

"just hang out with phee I think... She makes me so happy kendall, paisley would be proud of both of you" I said as I saw kendall look at the picture of paisley that Sat on the side in his living room.

"Sheriden honestly... do you think people will think I'm heartless that I'm with someone else already... So soon after paisleys death" kendall said softly.

I looked at kendall "sweetheart losing someone you love is hard, what's harder is doing it in the public eye, when jay died I didn't date anyone properly for over a year, you were my first proper boyfriend since his death and the papers went cuckoo over that didn't they. Don't worry about what people think. If your happy kendall then just go with it, I don't think there are any written rules to follow" I said now holding on to ophelias hands as she bounced up and down on her feet.

"I just worry, people think the worst of me lately, I used to be the good guy but not anymore" he said.

"kendall you are the good guy, don't believe things you read in the paper about yourself that you know in your heart aren't true" I said smiling at Ophelia who was giggling away at me.

"kendall would you of gone back to paisley? the day of the earth quake you said you would... You told me it had finished between you... " I said

"I probably would of given it another shot but I honestly wasn't in love with her still, she had changed you know, I had changed too." He said honestly.

Kendalls cell phone rang, he looked at the caller id then walked out to the kitchen to talk as he answered it shutting the door behind him.

I presumed it to be Fran.

I looked at Ophelia, she was so beautiful, Fran was lucky to be welcomed in to kendalls heart, he would be good for her... She would be good for him too.

Kendall sure did like his models

Kendall walked back in and sat down  
"Sheriden that was James on the phone, Logan told him you were here, he is on his way round, he sounded... I dunno ... Optimistic?" kendall said

"well I guess I need to talk to him, I said some really stupid things yesterday. I'm sorry I ruined your day with Fran" I said.

"I'm sorry I cancelled our play date to make out with a girl... It was selfish, not just to you but to phee too" kendall said with a smile on his face as an apology.

"so are you and Fran... Intimate?" I said trying to be serious but I laughed at my own question.

"Sheri!?..." Kendall almost laughed at me "yes we are doing it" he said chuckling.

"I'm kinda relieved" I said

"your relieved that I'm having sex with Fran? That's weird" kendall said

"no dumbass, I'm relieved that she is the reason you have been acting oddly the past few months, we all thought you were losing your grip on reality. You have done really well to keep it from the press by the way" I explained

"yeah we have been trying really hard to keep it just between us. I think savannah knows, not that Fran has told her but I don't think savannah is as dumb as she makes out to be" kendall said.

"no savannah is very bright underneath all the swearing, she knows what she wants now she has had a taste of it, she is getting a little bit big for her boots already though" I said as I heard a car outside.

I took a deep breath, hoping James and I could patch things up.

The door knocked and James practically flew in.  
"Sheri, come on, we have to go" he said with a deranged smile on his face.

"James I'm spending a bit of time with phee, sit down, we can chat" I said ignoring his dramatic entrance.

"Sheriden... No... We have to go, quickly come on" he said pulling at my hand to get me up from the sofa.

"James your being really rude, you can't just barge in here an-" before I could finish James had picked me up and was heading towards the door with me in his arms.

"I'm sorry buddy... See you later... Bye phee" James said to kendall and Ophelia as he walked out the door.

Kendall just had a shocked look on his face.

"what the fuck James" I shouted, "put me down you fucking ass hole!"

James opened the back of the truck and carefully slid me in, then sat next to me. It was then I noticed savannah in the passenger seat in the front. I started scrambling to get out the car, but James had me in some kind of bear hug.

"savs drive the truck" James said to her.

"I don't have a licence any more James" she replied.

"just drive the God damn car savannah... Now... Go!" He shouted.

Savannah slid across and started the truck then got moving.

"what the fuck are you doing, kidnapping me?" I snapped at James.

"no... No course not, we need to get to the train station... Shit... Look I'm sorry, I'm scaring you, I'm sorry baby. Sheriden I love you. I don't want us to break up. I can fix it okay... I can fix it baby" he said rubbing my face.

As he stroked my cheek he rustled up his amazing scent that he had, which filled my entire body with so many emotions.  
"I love you too, and I don't want to break up, I didn't mean what I said yesterday... Are you okay James? your not scaring me but your acting crazy. We need to talk about the baby, the loss is hard I know only to well but we will be fine. I can't lose you" I said

"Sheri... Listen baby, we do need to talk about the baby, but I need to talk about something else first... Sheriden last night I met this girl..." James said.

I immediately let go of his hand, not wanting to hear the rest of this conversation. James must of seen the hurt in my eyes.

"no Sheri not like that, this girl I met, she is a friend of savannahs, we are going to meet her at the train station, we are late though... Erm... There is no easy way, or good etiquette that I can use that will explain this any clearer, but basically, the girl... Karen, she wants to meet us, she is putting her baby up for adoption Sheri. I told Karen that I want the baby" he said.

He was completely flustered, James never ever just spewed out words, he was cautious with everything, but not today, today his heart was leading him, he reminded me of myself when I had good ideas.

"a baby?" Was all I could think of to say.

"yeah... This girl Karen, she was raped, she tried to keep it but she just can't, she told savannah yesterday that she was going to give her up for adoption, I explained our situation and this morning Karen phoned wanting to meet you, and chat with us, if she likes us Sheriden she will go through the agency we are registered with and we could adopt the baby... This is it Sheriden, I feel it." James said taking back my hand and taking in a deep breath from his over excited talking.

"isn't it a bit soon?" I said shocked "Mackenzie is still bleeding out our baby James" I snapped feeling a bit emotional at the harsh words I had chosen to use.

"what if this is our only time Sheriden. What of this baby is our only chance. Is it too soon for a shot of having something we have always wanted... I don't think so"

"I guess... I just don't know" I replied.

"James just fill her in on what's happened to Karen" savannah said from the front.

James did fill me in on all the details of how savannah met Karen and what had happened to her, and explained that adoption really was the only hope for happiness that both Karen and the baby would have.

"so how old is the baby? What sex is it?" I asked.

James smiled at me, pleased I seemed to be going along with this crazy idea.

"she is called Georgina, and is 8 months old... She is very cute" James added.

"are we meeting her today?" Was my next question.

"no Karen wants to meet you first, she is concerned that what she reads in the papers is true, so please be nice" James said smiling.

"shit... James there is a police car behind me" savannah said panicking.

"relax... They are just driving, just get to the train station" James replied to her.

"what if she doesn't like me?" I said to James.

"she will like you, your a beautiful person underneath the murdering, lying and cheating" James said with a wink.

Savannah pulled in to the train station leaving the police car on the main road. She breathed a sigh of relief as she parked up.

"there she is" savannah said looking at a plain looking woman, dressed in clothes that no man would find attractive, I wondered if this was why she dressed like it.

Savannah got out of the car and hugged and greeted the girl, James got out and said hello then got in the drivers side as Karen sat next to him in the passenger seat and savannah sat next to me in the back.

"Karen this is my a wife Sheriden, Sheriden this is Karen" James said introducing us to each other.

"nice to meet you Karen, where have you got the train from?" I asked.

"you too. San Diego" Karen replied "but I'm moving back to Wisconsin once its just me" she added.

I smiled at her, the journey back to savannahs was quiet mostly apart from the odd comment made about the scenery from sav, I don't think Karen had seen much of LA.

Once in savannah and Carlos' home savannah invited Karen to sit down at her huge dining table, Carlos walked in the room. I gave him a hug and a kiss.

"hey shoo, I'm sorry about kenz" he said

"thanks honey, we will catch up a bit later okay" I replied.

"sure thing... I will leave you guys to it, are you staying or coming with me savs? I was gonna grab a bite to eat in town" Carlos said.

"I'm going to stay with Karen Los. Sheriden and James are a bit over excited so I just wanted to sit in on this... If that's okay guys" savannah said to James and I.

"that's fine" I replied with a smile.

Carlos said his farewells then left the four of us to it.

"so is Carlos your family?" Karen asked.

"yes he is not blood related but his mom and Dad treat me as their own. I look at them all as my adopted family, we are very close. I don't have any family of my own anymore" I replied

Karen nodded "erm what about you James, what is your family like?" She asked.

"Well my mom and Dad are divorced but I am close with them both, I have a brother and a sister... Sheriden and I are very family orientated. We try to spend as much time as we can with family and friends don't we Sheri?"

"yeah we do, we all look out for each other" I replied.

"that's nice to know... Erm you both work a lot with your jobs, how would you fit that around Georgina?" Was her next question.

"well Sheriden planned to take a back seat role in her own company so any work she would need to do can be done from home, my band isn't requiring the level of commitment needed that it used to so I would also be at home a lot more soon, any work that I would choose to do would be scheduled around home life" James replied.

"would you rely on a nanny or anyone?" Karen asked.

James and I looked at each other "I'm not entirely sure what the correct answer is for that but the honest one is physically I would need a nanny occasionally until I am back on my feet properly but I would still be in the house I just need some support, saying nanny doesn't mean a hired help it may also be close friends or relatives" I replied.

"I appreciate the honesty. What kind of life would Georgina have if she was yours?" Karen asked.

"well I know people look at me like I'm an ice queen but honestly I'm not, I make mistakes but a day in the life of your child in our care would typically be filled with love and fun, discipline when needed, we have access to a large private garden. She would be placed in the best school available to us. She would grow up knowing the value of her life not being brought up spoilt" I replied, I saw James smile at me from the corner of my eye.

"would you like to see a picture of her Sheriden?..." Karen asked

"I would love to" I replied "you seem very calm about all this if you don't mind me saying" I added.

Karen got a picture out of her bag and handed it to me "I think I excepted that I wasn't destined to keep her a long time ago, I have counselling sessions, I've talked a lot about giving her up. I drank too much last night, I'm sorry savannah I didn't mean to worry you by calling" she said turning to savannah who just smiled at her.

I nodded and looked at the picture. She was a cute baby. Sandy coloured hair on her head.  
"oh she has a hearing aid on her in this picture" I said "is she hard of hearing?" I looked at James, he just shrugged at me to say he didn't know, we both looked at Karen.

"Georgina was declared deaf at four weeks old, she can hear certain pitches with the hearing aid but she will never hear properly so I'm told... does that make a difference knowing she has a disability? Her right ear is completely deaf but the left she had reacted to sounds" Karen said.

"no it doesn't make any difference to me" I replied, I looked at James, he now had a concerned look in his eyes that he was hiding behind a smile.

"I didn't realise she had hearing problems but no it doesn't make any difference to me either. Can I ask some questions about your back ground, like family health, is their anything we should be made aware of?" James asked.

"well my grandmother and my mother died of breast cancer, but there are no other medical conditions that I know of, Georgina is allergic to penicillin and has been known to suffer from eczema from time to time but she is very healthy most of the time" Karen said.

"Karen I know its hard but do you know anything from her fathers family history, I'm sorry to ask but I expect Sheriden and James are wondering how to ask you" savannah said, I gave her a smile, that girl must know me better than I thought.

"well his father is dead, I'm not sure how or why, his mother lives in Chicago, she refuses to have anything to do with him now, I asked her to not contact me about Georgina, she understood and agreed, as far as I know there is no medical history that is of any useful information... Apart from the fact her father is an insane rapist who tried to kill me" she said

I looked at James.  
"Georgina looks like her father?" I asked

"yes very much, its her eyes really, the older she gets the more I see him in her... I'm sorry I didn't mean to say those things just then..." Karen said

"honestly its fine, I can understand how hard this must be, the men that hurt savannah have affected us all in different ways, we understand a small part of the pain you must suffer" I replied.

"are you religious? I was a Christian but I lost my faith. I haven't practised any religion since things went bad" Karen said.

"well I'm a Christian but I don't particularly practice it, my family however are very big church goers, James is Jewish, we kind of participate in more family gatherings on Hanukkah and Christmas... Georgina would still get a typical Childs Christmas, the family and friends James and I have all respect each others religions so she would observe many different faiths I would like to think. but I think I can speak for James that she would be brought up Jewish... How would you feel about that?" I asked

"I don't have a problem with that" Karen replied with a smile.

"may I ask you a question Karen" savannah said.

"course" Karen said

"well I'm not sure if you have thought that far ahead, but I feel its my job to bring it to your attention, if James and Sheriden did bring up Georgina as their own you will obviously always see her in magazines and things. Are you comfortable seeing her grow in the public eye. There isn't any guarantee you could avoid it" savannah said.

I saw James flash his what the fuck face at savannah, she just ignored it, she was actually taking this very serious, I admired her for that.

"no I hadn't thought of that actually... In a way I can see that it would be a bad idea but in another way I find it reassuring to be able to see how she is if I felt the need, see what she looks like on her 18th. I don't see it as a down side, I just honestly want the best for her savannah" Karen said.

"okay do you have any other questions for James and Sheriden?" Savannah then asked.

"not really, today was more to get an idea of your characters, you both seem genuinely nice people, you look normal too, I was expecting some limousine come greet me at the train station and for you to be dressed up to the nines, I'm pleased with what I've seen and heard today" Karen said.

James and I smiled at each other.

"so what happens next do you think?"

"I would like to meet up again, but I would like you both to meet Georgina properly if you both feel that she is what you need then we can start the ball rolling. I understand your desperation to be parents so I don't want to cause any heart break or unnecessary waiting so I will be honest with you like you have with me... I like you both, I really do. as it stands now I don't have as many worries about you adopting her as I did this morning" Karen said with a smile.

Things kind of got hazy for me after I heard that, she was actually considering us to be the parents of her child... This was incredible.

Savannah and Karen said some good byes and they headed off in a cab for lunch and a chat then Karen would be heading back home to San Diego.

James and I sat in silence at the large wooden table in Carlos dining room, we looked at each other but no words left either of our lips for a long time.


	28. Chapter 28

Sheridens story

"I'm sorry" James finally said.

"what for?" I asked.

"for not getting the facts before I got carried away, I'm gutted" he said

"why because the baby is deaf?" I said.

"yeah. Just our luck to find a perfect parent willing to give her baby up but the baby has a disability" James said, I took his hand

"James I meant what I said, it doesn't bother me that she is deaf, just means her schooling is different and we learn sign language, it makes me love her more James" I said looking at the photo that Karen had let me keep.

"its not just that though Sheri, her speech will be delayed, she won't be the perfect little girl that I know you want to dress in expensive dresses and show off to the world" James said.

"James she is deaf not disfigured, so you don't want her now? Is that what you're saying because her being deaf honestly makes no difference to me... What is your concern? That people will talk about her? pity her? laugh at us? I thought better of you James. Really I did" I said now pissed off that he had talked me in to this and now he was changing his mind.

"no nothing like that, I'm just gutted that's all Sheri"

"baby why?"

"...I just... I had always imagined teaching my kid to play piano and sing and ... Oh I don't know, just another dream that has to change I guess huh" he said.

"James do you want this child?" I asked.

"yes" he replied, tears left his eyes and I took him in my arms as he silently wept.

"its been a tough couple of days jimbo... End of the day we always have each other... Hopefully we will soon have this little one too" I said smiling at the picture that Sat on the table.

James lifted his head up, his eyes red now, "do you honestly feel no reservation in any of this?" He asked me.

I smiled at him "well in typical Sheriden style if I could change one thing about this little girl... It wouldn't be her ears James, it would be her name... Georgina... Georgina Maslow... I always imagined having a little girl named Mercedes or sapphire or... I don't know, Georgina is just so plain, but I will love her as she is. I will accept her for what she is" I explained.

"I'm sorry, she is beautiful isn't she. How do feel about who her Dad is, and what he did" James asked.

"I feel like I want to protect her from knowing but she will obviously have to know she is adopted as I don't think the rest of the world is going to keep it a secret for us huh. But again, its not her fault how she came to be... What do we tell Mackenzie and Logan, the timing on this couldn't be worse" I said.  
"I don't think we should say anything yet until we have the baby in our arms. Too much can go wrong but when things have settled down I still want to give Logan the money we said we would give him. I'm not sure if Mackenzie will take it though" James replied.

"how are you feeling about the miscarriage?" I whispered "I'm so sorry about going berserk, I love you James"

James looked at me with his red eyes, his beautiful long lashes wet with his tears "I love you too... So so much. I'm feeling sad. A baby of our own would of meant the world but everything happens for a reason huh. this is going to sound harsh but I would of found this a lot harder if it was you that had lost it. It's a bit of a mind fuck that Mackenzie miscarried... Do you understand what I mean"

"yeah I do, it was still baby maslow though... Do you want to go home? Did you stay here last night I thought you went to a hotel?" I asked

"I was at a hotel but savannah called wanting a lift to see Karen, she had a little fight with Carlos and I had a shit day so we had a few drinks to drown our sorrows but all is fine now"he said

"was sav okay being alone with you in the house all night?" I asked.

"yeah she was fine, I think she preferred someone than no one... Shall we get going then?" James said as he wiped his face and stood up.

"yeah sure... James?"

"ya?"

"thanks for kidnapping me today, you are fixing it" I said.

James smiled his amazing smile at me. He helped me out to his truck and we made our way back to bel air.

After a couple of days and a lot of phone calls between Karen and James and I we agreed to meet up again so we could meet Georgina, Karen seemed very down to earth and intelligent. In a way it was a shame that she was giving her up as she would of made a good mom if the circumstances had been different.

We were almost at her apartment.

"has she called the adoption agency or not yet, she talks to you more doesn't she?" I said to James.

"no she actually had the idea to do it through courts, she is talking to a solicitor, obviously the quicker we can get this done the better... Sheri it can take 6 months you know" James explained

"6 months?! What I don't want to wait six months James, I would take her home today if I could... 6 months! That's ridiculous, surely it can be sped up a bit?"

"well 6 months is the higher end, if we get a good adoption lawyer and things are done quickly it could be as little as 2 or 3 months" James said

"your going to be on tour then... Oh James this isn't how I imagined it... Why does it take so long?"

James smiled at me "baby this is it now... Karen likes us and I honestly can't see her changing her mind, she wouldn't be inviting us down today if she had doubts would she, if 6, 3 or 2 months is what it takes for us to be a little family then I'm okay with that." He said.

I nodded, "your right, are you nervous? I feel sick" I said to him.

"yeah I feel a bit sick too" James said smiling.

we eventually pulled in and made our way to Karens apartment. I scanned it with my eyes. The place looked run down but she had done her best with it, it reminded a bit of Mackenzies old apartment that she had above her salon... That had been taken over by some total idiot rich boy that wanted to quickly cash in on the business that Mackenzie had made a success off of.

As I looked around the room I saw in the corner a little girl sat in a high chair, she was covered in ... Porridge I guess it was. I smiled.

"oh no! I'm so sorry, I only left her for a second to answer the door... Georgina look at the state of you!" Karen said trying to wipe porridge off off a cute little dress.

It looked like Karen had dressed Georgina in her Sunday best.

"its fine... She is so cute" I said "may I have a cuddle?" I asked

"yeah did you want me to change her first. You don't want to ruin your clothes.. I can't believe she did that" Karen said.

I chuckled at Georgina who was now attempting to spread the porridge on to her sandy coloured hair with the aid of her spoon.  
"no she is fine like that, I'm used to being covered in something from my friends baby, she is just a little bit younger than Georgina actually" I said as I undid the clasps of the straps of the high chair to get the baby out.

James gave me the look to say don't you dare attempt to lift her out, but I ignored him and put my entire weight on my good leg as I lifted her from the chair.  
She was heavy but I didn't want to appear in front of Karen that I couldn't cope. James pulled one of the chairs out from the small table so I could sit down with her.

"hello Georgina" I said as she looked at the face of the stranger that held her.

"she then tried to put the spoon that she held in her hand in to my mouth, I played along and she laughed at me, it was a beautiful laugh, a gorgeous giggle that made James smile.

"I think your meant to be eating your breakfast Georgina not me" I laughed as I got her comfy on my lap then picked the bowl up that had the remainder of her food in it, "could I have another spoon?" I asked Karen.

She nodded then darted off to the kitchen and returned with another plastic baby spoon.

I fed her, while she shoved her spoon in my mouth, and once almost up my nose.

"what do you think Sheriden?"

"I think she is adorable... How come she hasn't got her hearing aid in?" I asked.

"she hates it, I try to put it on her in the afternoon when she has a nap, it stays on for about an hour until she realises she has it on then she pulls it off and chucks it across the room" Karen explained.

"okay so its a working progress with the hearing aid then" I said as I popped another spoonful of porridge in to Georginas mouth.

Once she had finished eating I asked James if he wanted to have a cuddle as to me James seemed very on edge.

James picked the baby up then sat down on the chair next to me.

"She is cute isn't she" he said.

Karen nodded I think she could notice that James wasn't as at ease as he was the other day when we met

"James I know it's hard but you adjust, just talk to her normally, she will be able to feel the vibration of your voice in your chest, and make sure you face her when you talk, it's like rule number one of teaching her lip reading, even if your just talking to Sheriden you should try and make sure that Georgina can see your face so she can join in with the communication... It gets easier" Karen said. "I will just go get her some clean clothes" Karen added as she left the room.

James looked at me "sorry" he whispered

"your doing great James, just forget about the deafness, act the same as you do with phee." I said reassuring him.

Then James started on his series of silly faces, he ended up sat on the floor with Georgina playing peek a boo with her, she loved it. She was chuckling away just as much as James was.

he found it awkward talking to her, but with time he would get the hang of how to communicate with her.

As James played on the floor with the baby, Karen came and sat next to me in the seat that James had left.

"I've spoken to the solicitor and the adoption agency Sheriden. I want this over with as quick as I can" Karen said

"really? You think that you would be happy with James and I being her parents?" I asked, James looked up and winked at me.

"I would love you to, the only problem I have is the length of time that it's going to take to do this. I honestly can't take care of her Sheriden. The emotional stress is to much, I know it must be impossible to understand but every time you say she is cute, I look at her and think she is disgusting. All I see is her father... I need this done quicker I can't wait the months to do it how you guys want it done" she said

My eyes widened and my heart pretty much stopped.

"I promise you I can speed things up, please ... Please don't say no... Not now." I said . The tears now making an escape from my eyes.

"I don't want to say no, I've spoken to a number of people today including the state adoption agency. You see if I went through them then Georgina would be placed in to care more or less immediately, which in all selfishness would be ideal for me." She said and took my hand as I could no longer look her in the eye, I couldn't even look at James.

"Sheri... Listen to what Karen is saying" James said, he didn't seem heartbroken at what she was getting at.

I looked back to Karen, she had a sympathetic smile on her face.  
"Sheriden if all goes well I'm hoping that you and James will be able to foster Georgina while the adoption goes through, I can't wait months to get my life back" she said squeezing my hand.

In that moment there as I looked in to Karens eyes I saw a familiar look. It reminded me of paisley, when she would try and be serious but the out come was funny, or when she was goofing off with Logan, or smiling a cheeky grin at kendall. I saw my lovely friend paisley in that look and I just knew then that she was my angel making all this happen.

"how long will that take if its allowed... What if it's not allowed?" I said now completely choked up.

"hopefully between 14 and 21 days, if you get refused foster care then she will be put in to care but I will still want you to adopt her... If that's what you still want?" She said.

I completely broke down in tears, my hands were shaking. "yes, yes... Oh my good god yes... Thank you." I said to her

James smiled at me

"did you know about this?" I asked him.

James nodded with a smile.

"oh my god... This is amazing" I said again and started crying even harder.

We spent a good few hours around Karens, I think we saw every mood that Georgina had to offer, James still had his magic touch in getting children to stop crying.

We talked over some of her routines and favourite things and foods with Karen then began the journey back home to LA

"its amazing right?" James said as the car got going.

"yeah its almost too good to be true James. But I honestly can't see things going wrong", I said as I looked at the photo I asked Karen to take on my phone of James, Georgina and I.

"what are we going to do about Mackenzie and Logan, its bad enough telling them we have been doing this behind their backs let alone saying can you move out while we move our new baby in" James said.

"they don't have to move out, I like having them there James. I'm not sure how they will take it, I hope they will understand and be happy for us. I think they will be fine, she seemed a bit more upbeat this morning" I said.

"well maybe wait until after she has had that last scan to make sure its all out, what happens if its not, I don't understand that part" James said

"she might have to have a suction thing inserted in to her to get anything that's left behind... Its so sad James, our little baby" I said getting tearful.

James reached his hand over to me as he drove his truck.

"I know Sheri... I know, maybe tonight we can take the dogs out to the beach, I'll do us a little fire and we can take a blanket and just talk it to death yeah... I think it would help me" he said

"sounds perfect James. I wonder what fox will be like with a baby in the house, he might get jealous" I said.

"I'm more worried that he is going to pine for dude when Logan does move out, fox loves him" James chuckled.

As more days passed us by we spent them visiting Georgina and getting to know her as well as we could, things were looking hopeful that we should get to be her foster carers.

We hadn't mentioned any of the Georgina business to anyone, savannah had made herself scarce and Carlos was obviously following her around like a little lapdog.

The plan was, that once Mackenzie got the all clear from her ultrasound we would sit them down and tell them about Georgina.

Today was that day. All four of us went in, we had all been there for the start so it only felt right that we were all there for the sad end to what should have been a magical occasion.

As we sat in a large waiting area james' cell phone rang, he answered it then walked out to the corridor.  
After a few moments he walked back in.  
"can I talk with you in private quickly?" James said to me as he handed me my crutch.

I gave an apologetic smile to Mackenzie and walked out to the corridor with James.

"that was Karen... Sheri everything has gone through fine, we are getting Georgina!" He whispered in an excited tone.

a little scream popped out my mouth "I knew it, I told you baby, when do we get her?" I asked

She said once she has signed the documents which will be tomorrow so she said the day after that... 48 hours and we will be a family Sheriden!" James said

I gave him a hug "cmon let's put our thoughts back in to Mackenzie for now" I said as I made my way back to the waiting room, James placed his hand gently on my back. It was taking all my effort to not cry now. I sat in silence collecting my thoughts, I listened in to the mindless chit chat that Logan was saying in an effort to take Mackenzies mind off of what was happening.

My throat felt thick with emotion as Mackenzies name was called out and the four of us walked in to the room. I felt Mackenzie take my hand. I squeezed it back.


	29. Chapter 29

Mackenzies story

"maybe after this we could plan a little holiday before the tour starts kenz" Logan said in my ear. He was trying to calm me down as we sat in the waiting room

"that sounds great baby, where would you fancy going?" I replied not listening for an answer but trying my best not to concentrate on the mothers to be, and their big bellies that surrounded me as they also waited for scans that would be a lot more joyful than the one I was about to have.

Why don't they have a special section for people like us, its just evil to me, I dread to think how Sheriden and James are feeling today surrounded by all these pregnant women

As my thoughts strayed a lady walked in and called my name, as we walked in to the room to have the scan I held sheridens hand, she gave me a reassuring squeeze back.

"my, my, we have a crowd with us today, is this a family day out" the sonographer said.

"erm no, Mackenzie is a surrogate but she miscarried... Its on the notes" Logan said. "these were the biological parents" he added.

the lady looked apologetic, "I am sorry, well Mackenzie just lay down here and let's see if everything is as it was" she said.

I lay down on the hospital bed, I watched as the lady turned the monitor around so it didn't face us any more, I looked at Sheriden, she was holding James and Logans hands . I had some cold liquid placed on my stomach once I had lifted my top up and the lady ran the ultra sound over me.

"did the doctor do an internal examination on you Mackenzie?" She asked.

"well he had a look and saw the cervix was open, I told him what had come out it was like a blob of... I don't know, I can't describe it" I replied

"yeah I can see you have an empty egg sack on the screen here" she said

"shouldn't that of come out or will it go with time." I asked looking over to Logan, he knew I was scared stiff of having any procedures done

the lady looked over at my notes then back to the scan "well Mackenzie usually it would come out by itself but I can show you why it hasn't" she said then turned the monitor around.

"twins... You still have two Babies" the sonographer announced.

My mouth flew open as I saw the image on the screen, and James caught Sheriden as her knees buckled under her

"how?" Logan said, I think he was the only one capable of speaking.

"well this is the empty egg sack, so you have lost a baby but these two are perfectly healthy, these are identical where as the other one wouldn't of been." She said

I looked at Sheriden and James, they looked completely shocked to the core

"this is amazing guys isn't it" Logan said

"its amazing as all right" Sheriden beamed, she kissed James on the cheek, I wasn't sure if James would ever speak again, he didn't look like he could, he was in total shock.  
"can you tell me what sex they are?" Sheriden asked.

"I can but I'm afraid its up to Mackenzie to ask" the lady said looking at me.

"oh god I would love to know" I said, my voice shaking.

"your expecting two little boys" was her reply

"this has got to be a dream!" James finally said

The lady laughed as she tried to get a decent picture for us.

she done some measurements on the screen and gave us an estimated 13 weeks pregnant.

I was totally stunned as we walked out of that room. None of us spoke until we got back to bel air.

We sat in the large kitchen.

"does any one want a drink?" Logan asked

Everyone shook their head.

"Sheriden maybe we should chat in private quickly" James said

"what? why? Its time we told Mackenzie everything" Sheriden replied.

"yes but things have changed now... A lot" James said through gritted teeth.

"look I know what you are going to say, I still want her James, I know you feel some resentment over her hearing" Sheriden said.

I looked at Logan, he didn't seem to understand what was going on either.

"what, I don't resent her Sheriden I love her. "

"then why did you go all funny after you found out about her being deaf... I want her still James, she was there for us in our time of need, I'm going to be there for her in hers"  
Sheriden said.

"Sheri I didn't go all funny because I found out she was deaf, it was because I had found out Karen wanted us to have her, I was scared to get close because everything always goes wrong. It was Karen that assumed it was because of the hearing ... I still want her... I love her Sheriden. I just thought it best to chat but if we both still want the same thing then I guess nothing has changed" James said.

"okay what is going on?" Logan said

Sheriden and James looked at each other.  
"okay short story, the day Mackenzie miscarried I met a girl that wanted to adopt her baby out. Just coincidence, I didn't go looking Mackenzie, I gave savannah a lift and she introduced me to this girl that had been raped. We have been in constant contact since, she wants us to adopt her baby" James said looking at me, trying to read my face.

"so you have two girls carrying babies for you... Like a little sweat shop of baby makers, how much are you giving her?" I asked

"kenz we aren't giving her anything apart from her life back, the baby is born already, she is 8 months old, called Georgina. When we met her we didn't think any less of what you and Logan had done for us... We just saw it as an opportunity that we just couldn't pass up... We didn't know about twins... Christ twins!" He repeated

"honestly I feel hurt about this. it feels like I've been cheated on... Its a strange feeling but I know how much you wanted a family... I don't blame you for getting carried away... So you are still going ahead with the adoption?" I asked

They both nodded.

"we never talked about multiple births... I guess your fine with twins?" I then said.

"absolutely fine, its amazing" Sheriden said.

"well who would of ever thought that children would be like buses for you guys huh, you don't think your getting one, then three come along at once... How long does the adoption take before you get her?" I asked.

"well the mother has tried every trick in the book that she can think of, she has had a lot of help with adoption agencies and her lawyer, social services, you name it but Georgina won't officially be ours for at least another 3 months or more but we have been granted to be her foster carers. we get her the day after tomorrow" James said

"wow that's soon... Sheriden your very quiet?" I then added.

she looked at me. "I'm so happy" she then blubbed out in between big sobs.

I walked round and gave her a hug. "Sheriden this is it now. Your baby boys are safe in here I promise no harm will come of them" I said as I hugged her.

She couldn't speak, she was so emotional.

"so I guess filling this house up with kids just got easier, in one day you've gone from having a six bed house with only using two rooms and now you only have one room spare... Well two when me and kenz move out... Crazy!" Logan said

"it is pretty insane huh, coping with three kids. Wow that's crazy" James said looking at Sheriden and laughing.

"princess stop crying... Think of all the baby shopping you get to do?

I gave Sheriden another big hug, this really was such a great day for her and James.

The next day passed quickly for Logan and I, I doubt the same could be said for James and Sheriden, they had left a few hours ago to pick up Georgina.

"do you think its gonna be weird living here while they get used to a baby?" Logan asked me.

"I was thinking the same thing but James spoke to me this morning, he said he would love it if we stayed... It is just easier and the place is massive logues" I said.

"I wonder how big your gonna get kenz... I can't wait" he said winking at me.

"probably huge, do you think that Sheriden will like it if we did go on a little vacation logues. Obviously I'm not gonna do anything that will be silly but I don't know if I need to ask her or not"

"well maybe ask if they wanna come with us? Or did you want it just us?" Logan said.

"I never thought of that... I don't mind, I just want to get out of LA, maybe we could ask everyone?" I said.

"yeah its been a while since we all went on holiday together. Its worth asking huh" he said just as we heard the front door open and close.

I looked at Logan, he raised an eyebrow at me.

"this is it then... Let the madness begin" he said with a smile.

Sheriden and James then walked in with a bunch of stuff and a stroller with a cute blonde haired girl who was fast asleep in side it.

They both had ridiculous smiles on there faces but Sheriden had obviously been crying by the state her make up was in.

"so this is Georgi" Sheriden said

"she is beautiful guys" I whispered so not to wake her.

"she is pretty much completely deaf kenz, I wouldn't worry about whispering" James said putting all the things he was carrying down on to the floor.

I gave him a smile, it was so easy to forget. She looked perfect.

"I'm just gonna grab the rest of her stuff then make her room up, logues could you help me move my bedroom stuff back up stairs later?" James asked.

"yeah that's fine buddy" Logan replied, he followed James out to the car to help bring in anything that was left out there.

"you okay?" I said to Sheriden as the boys left us alone with Georgina sleeping.

"I'm all over the place... Happy... Sad, it was hard taking her, it wasn't how I had imagined it, Karen the mother wasn't there it was a lady from social services that handed her over, she said that Karen found it easier that way. I didn't. We gathered all her little belongings up that had been left for us, it was so sad, I know that Karen wasn't left with a choice but it breaks my heart knowing she wasn't wanted by her own mother" Sheriden said wiping away a tear.

"well if all goes well you will be her mother and then she will be wanted for the end of eternity Sheriden. Is this all her stuff then?" I said looking at the carrier bag that had toys in it.

"yeah we have toys, blankets, her high chair and the travel cot that was her bed" Sheriden said with a sad tone.

I looked at Sheriden and smiled "how long before you buy her new stuff" I said.

Sheriden smiled back "a lot I've ordered already but we are waiting until she has settled in before we change anything around" she said.

I heard the boys carrying things up the stairs.

"does it feel real yet Sheriden?" I said

"no I want her to wake up, see what she makes of the place" Sheriden said as she sat down on the sofa and pulled the stroller towards her.

Sheriden took Georginas hand, she opened her eyes up and looked at us.

"hello Georgi... This is Mackenzie" Sheriden said as she picked the baby out of the stroller and rested her on her lap.

"your very comfortable with the deafness" I said.

"yeah its odd, James finds it a bit strange talking to her, she likes the attention though... Don't you Georgi?... You are beautiful" Sheriden said to her.

"are your family coming down to meet her?" I said as I took her little hand in mine

"not for a couple of weeks, I think she needs to get used to our faces first before she gets shoved around from lap to lap"

"so I just talk to her normally?... Sorry I don't know how it works" I asked

"yeah just talk normally, use hand gestures if you like, James and I are learning sign language, and we have enrolled her in to a baby sign class"

I nodded "so is she Georgina or Georgi?" I asked.

"I think Georgina on paper but Georgi feels more comfortable for me" she replied.

"hiya Georgi. I'm Mackenzie I'm looking after your little brothers for you and your mommy" I said

Georgi just looked at me.

"are you ticklish?" I asked her, again she just looked at me, I gave her tummy a little tickle, she smiled at me then looked at Sheriden.

I tried tickling her again, but she buried herself in Sheriden shying away.

"That's cute, she must trust you already" I said

"I hope so. Shall we have a look what you have in your bag Georgi" Sheriden then said.

I passed Sheriden the carrier bag that had all the toys in. Georgina saw it and immediately knew it was her stuff, she made a grab for a blanket.

She then cuddled back in to Sheriden, she looked ready to sleep again.

"its going to take a while to get used to being called mommy" Sheriden said to me

"can she say anything yet?" I asked

"no not yet. Where's the dogs?"she asked

"in the back room, I didn't want dude jumping about scaring the life out of her when you returned... She is asleep again bless her" I said noticing Georgi now with her eyes closed.

"she has had a very big day, do you mind taking a picture, I want to be honest and tell her how James and I got blessed with her when she is old enough, I'm going to fill a book up a with pictures and milestones. Today is huge for all of us" she said as she passed me her phone.

I took the picture, and James and Logan walked in so I took another one with James in too.

"she is beautiful guys, congratulations" Logan said as James put his arm around Sheriden who had the sleeping baby still on her lap.

They both smiled at each other.

"well why you guys look after baby number 1 I'm gonna take Kenzie, and baby 2 and baby 3 out for a walk with the dogs and feed them up with ice cream down the beach" Logan said taking my hand.

"thanks Logan" Sheriden said

"your welcome princess... Oh we were thinking of us all going on a little holiday before the tour starts, how do you feel about that?" Logan said

Sheriden and James looked at each other, James shrugged.  
"well we could get a big villa somewhere, sounds great. Be nice to actually chill out with everyone before the tour... What do you think James?" She asked.

"sounds awesome to me, surfing, sea and sleepless nights" he smiled, is it just us four or everyone?" He asked

"everyone hopefully, I will see what sav and Carlos say... Do you think kendall will bring phee?" I asked not wanting to leave kendall out as it felt like a couples holiday.

"oh well actually kendall has a lady friend now so maybe she would like to come too" Sheriden said.

"really who?" Logan said.

Sheriden raised an eyebrow. "I went round a couple of weeks ago and Fran was with him, they have been together since savannahs party so he told me"

"what? What's he thinking! Pais has only been dead five minutes" Logan said

"he feels bad Logan, he asked me what I thought, he knows its soon but Fran is just what he needs" Sheriden said

"I think its a disgrace. That girl is a slut, he is ruining any memory that the public had of paisley" Logan said

"we can't help who we fall for Logan, I think all four of us in this room know that only too well" Sheriden said

Logan relented and shrugged "I guess... Well you two have fun with the newest member of Maslowville" he joked then led me out for an afternoon on the beach.


	30. Chapter 30

Savannahs story

My sister and Logan had organised a break to Dubai, today was the day we would leave.

"what kind of airport is this?" I asked as we all waited in a tiny waiting room to board our plane,  
"why aren't we flying from LAX?" I moaned.

"stop being rude sav... Just you wait, you are gonna love this" Carlos replied to me as I sat on his lap.

"fuck we have a private jet don't we?" I screamed.

"oh Carlos why did you tell her? I was looking forward to seeing her face" Logan said as he gave my sister a kiss on the cheek

"she guessed I didn't say."Carlos replied.

I frowned as I listened in to not one grizzly baby but two.

"fuck have I really got to put up with this shit the entire flight" I said kind of quietly to Carlos but kendall overheard me.

"sav I do apologise if my daughter is irritating you, maybe it's your whiny voice that's making her cry, so just shut that hole in your face for a bit" kendall snapped.

I rolled my eyes at him and turned to give my handsome Carlos a kiss.

Finally it was time to board and we all filed on. The plane was amazing, it was how I imagined air force one to look.

"fuck Sheriden... Thank you... This is fucking awesome." I said as I sat in one of the large cream leather seats.

"well you've all seen me lose my cool on a plane, I hate commercial flights. I thought I would treat us all... So here we are" she said as she took baby Georgi from James as she sat down in her seat.

I looked at James, he smiled at me. We hadn't mentioned our random sex at all since he walked out of my bedroom the night it happened.

Just looking at him made me feel horny still though.

"how are you adjusting to motherhood?" Fran asked her as she took her seat next to kendall that was facing me.

"learning something new 't we James" she said smiling up at her handsome husband.

"yeah Georgi is really good actually, it's Sheri that cries more than her" he joked giving Sheriden a kiss on the cheek

"oh Kenzie sit near me" I said as she boarded the plane with Logan.  
She was 16 weeks pregnant now, she looked great, I little bump on her and her skin looked amazing.

"okay... Logan you sit in that one" she said pointing to the seat next to her

"Kenzie you look amazing" I said as I had a good look at her.

"thanks I feel so much better now the sickness has passed" she said.

"you do look amazing though Kenzie" Logan agreed but was looking at my sisters boobs which had doubled in size.

"eurrgh Logan don't look at her tits in front of me like that... just coz you're deprived at the moment doesn't mean you can be a perv" I joked.

"deprived? I'm not deprived Thankyou very much savannah. Turns out pregnancy agrees with both Mackenzie and me" he commented back.

"Logan please go easy on her, it's my sons heads your banging your cock against everytime you do it" James said laughing.

"James that is disgusting" Sheriden argued with a smile.

"hmmm your just jealous that your not getting to bang your cock on anything" Logan replied.

James went a bit red

"okay Thankyou Logan for that lovely insight in to my sex life" Sheriden then said.

I looked at James again, so he still wasn't getting any action that he needed at home. I rubbed along my collar bone as I felt an itch. James made eye contact with me I took my hand away. He gave me a good eyeing up but looked away when he saw Mackenzie look up, I'm not sure if she noticed.

The flight to Dubai was fun, despite the fact that Ophelia cried most of the way there and Sheriden had a complete episode on take off.I wondered if Georgi was mostly quiet because she couldn't hear anything. Made sense I guess but I didn't know.

Once we had landed and got cabs to our villa I noticed Mackenzie had a ring on her finger

"oh my God what the fuck is that?" I said a I grabbed her hand.

"it's a wedding ring sav" she replied.

"why are you wearing it, have you secretly got married?" I said

"no it's so I can hold Logans hand and kiss him while we are here. It's frowned apon if your not married" she said.

"oh I see, I thought you were jumping on the bandwagon of btr brides" I joked.

The first day of our holiday I spent by the pool with Carlos ,Fran and kendall, the others had gone out sightseeing.

As I lay on the lounger I listened in on the conversation kendall and Fran were having, she was on the lounger next to me and kendall was in the pool with Ophelia in a floating orange ring.

"I'm sure it just came out wrong babe, Logan is the middle man, he never takes sides unless Mackenzie is involved" kendall said.

They had been discussing Logan for a few minutes , it would seem that Logan didn't like Fran, Fran was trying to figure out why, kendall didn't seem to mention that paisley might be the reason, which I knew it was so I thought it fun to mix things up a bit.

"what did he say to you Fran?" I asked from my sun bathing position

"I said that I was going to visit the guys on tour when they reach New York. I'm in town the same time, and Logan just said that I'm not welcome on the bus" she said.

"no he didn't Fran, he said I hope your not planning on staying because their is no room on the bus" kendall corrected her.

"it's the way he said it though boo" .

"Fran you do know that you fucked Logan once don't you?" I said with a grin on my face.

"oh savannah don't" Carlos said

"yes I know.. But why is he being horrible? What does he want a medal?" She asked.

"oh he seems to think you can't remember, he said you were high as a kite" I said with a smile.

"honestly Carlos can you please do something about your wife!" Kendall then said.

"oh fuck off kendall, don't speak to me like I'm a dog."I snapped back.

"sav stop winding him up... Fran it's because of paisley not because you fucked him" Carlos then said.

I looked at Carlos and he winked at me. I was grateful for what he just done, he always stuck up for me. I got off of my lounger and straddled Carlos as he lay on his. I gave him a kiss as he admired my tiny bikini from close proximity.

kendall had got out of the pool and sat on the edge of my vacated sun lounger as he wrapped Ophelia in a towel.

"is that true... Its because of paisley?" I heard Fran say, I layed down beside Carlos and watched the drama un fold from behind my sun glasses.

"I'm not sure but possibly... It makes sense. Him and paisley were incredibly close. I will have a word with him okay, I don't think its you being with me I think its just the tour, Logan and paisley had a good time on tour last year... She was with us on the bus... Fran I love you, pais has gone, its just us now" he said giving Ophelia a cuddle

Fran sat up. "I didn't know any of that... I love you too. Come here and I will get you changed little Missy" she said to Ophelia picking her up  
"you wanna find somewhere nice to have dinner... Just us three?" She then asked kendall

"yeah sounds brilliant." Kendall said as he turned and stared daggers at Carlos and I. He then left to walk in our huge villa.

"he is a fucking cry baby" I said to Carlos as I kissed him.

Carlos shifted about on the lounger until he was on top of me, he only had a pair of speedos on.

"you are going to get us in to trouble with that mouth of yours one day" Carlos whispered as he kissed my neck.

I looked at him. I felt bad, I guess he was right, I had slipped back in to my old annoying ways of just saying what was on my mind.  
"I'm sorry Los" I replied

He smiled "don't be sorry savs, this is you, this is the old you and I'm so pleased that your that person again... So pleased. I love you so much... I do think that kendall is going to hit you in the face if you say the F word in front of phee any more though."

"thanks Los, that means a lot. I do feel a lot more like my old self, the scaredy cat me wouldnt do this for a start" I said as I pushed Carlos off of my body then took my bikini off and layed back down pulling Carlos with me.

"you're beautiful" Carlos whispered as he pulled his manhood out of his trunks and entered me.

I giggled at our impromptu love making then ran my fingers down Carlos' beautiful back.

"kendall might come back?" Carlos breathed at me as he made love to me slowly.

"no he won't... Just be quick" I smiled knowing Carlos didn't really do quick.  
He smiled back at me

"I love you sav" he said as he kissed my shoulder and then my neck

"I love you more Los" I panted as I scratched my manicured nails down his perfect back.

After only a few minutes both of us were startled when we heard

"Carlos! Get the fuck off my sister" come angrily from Mackenzies mouth.

As I turned my head I saw her, Logan, Sheriden with a sleeping child in a stroller and James.

"oh fuck" I giggled, Carlos got off of me tucking his manhood back in to his speedos then handed me a towel to Cover up my nakedness.  
I was in no hurry to cover my body up, I knew how amazing I looked so I wasn't ashamed.

"oh fuck indeed" Sheriden said "savannah you are lucky that Georgi is asleep, I would of been so pissed off with you if she had of seen that"

"relax it was my fault" Carlos said with a grin on his face.

"yeah I doubt that Los seeing as you still had clothes on... What would happen if you two got papped doing that... Nickelodeon would fire your ass Carlos and if you get caught doing that shit here you can go to prison... Did you know that?" Sheriden shouted

"oh fuck this shit Carlos... Cmon" I said taking him by the hand and leading him off to our room.

I noticed James just looked at his feet not wanting to get involved as we walked passed in to the house

once we were in the confinements of our own room I exploded.  
"they are all total fucking pricks, they act like we are children that they are in charge of, she may be my boss Los but I've had enough of her telling us what to do." I snapped.

"it was a bit silly doing it out there though baby... Maybe we should just calm down a bit while we are sharing this house huh?" He tried to reason.

"so now your taking her side?" I seethed.

"no course not I'm just saying maybe for this holiday we should tone it down in front of them." Carlos said, his voice calm.

"if it was kendall or Logan she caught doing that it would of been laughed off Carlos, you know that! They think we are idiots... I'm sick of it. I don't want to be under her thumb any more" I shouted.

"well your stuck under her thumb until your contract runs out in 6 months I'm afraid" Carlos replied

"no fuck it! I'm done she can take me to court, I've had so many offers Los that I've had to turn down because of her, some I won't get the opportunity to do again... Its unfair, I didn't realise she was going to be so strict on me!" I screamed

"sav don't do anything silly, you have it easy with Sheriden trust me... Some of the problems she had when she first came to us were awful... I don't want to see you like that... Ever"

"Carlos! I want to make mistakes, I want to learn from them. I want to live my life, I don't want to live in her shadow... Are you with me on this if I break the contract?" I said

"I don't think you should break it, I think it would be a mistake" was all Carlos said.

"why?" I asked

"because your such a wild card savannah... Who knows what you will end up getting in to... What people you might meet?"

"oh so your calling me a slut now?" I snapped

"what? No I'm not doing any such thing savannah! I just worry that you will get mixed up with the wrong people" he said

"I don't believe you Carlos, of all the people here I honestly thought you knew me the best... Your just as bad as Sheriden... You see me as a child" I shouted.

"baby I don't... I just want to look after you... I love you savannah, I don't want to fight with you about this" he said.

"yeah well maybe I want to look after myself, it seems everyone else gets a chance to but poor little savannah always has to have a body guard... I'm sick of it, get out!" I screamed

"what? Sav?" Carlos said

"get the fuck out. I want to be on my own" I said

Carlos gave me a worried look "I love you savannah" he said as he walked passed me and exited the room.

I put my bikini back on and sat on the bed.  
I felt like crying but I just couldn't. I only had anger filled inside me. That was mine and Carlos' first proper arguement. And it was all sheridens fault.

How was I expected to be me if I wasn't allowed to do the things that I would do, im not a child. I'm a rich, hot super fuckin model and its about time the world got to see the real me. Carlos liked me, I acted like me at home, was he embarrassed about me in front of all these idiots. My head wouldn't stop ticking away. I'm so pissed off its unreal.

they all think I'm an idiot and incapable of making correct choices. I'm not, yeah I fuck up every now and again but why not... Every one does.

I had a shower to try and unwind. I looked at the clock as I got in to another tiny bikini, it was just gone 7 but I fancied getting in the pool.

A knock came to my door

"savannah its Sheriden... We are heading out soon are you going to come with us... ?" A voice from the door came

"fuck off" I replied

"suit yourself, I'm dragging Carlos out with us for dinner, you will be on your own" she said through the door.

I rolled my eyes then opened the door up "fine take him, I will look forward to actually being on my own for once, I'm sick to death of round the clock care Sheriden, I don't want Bobby any more, I don't want Fran anymore and I really don't want you!" I snapped then slammed the door in her face.

"...okay... Sav, I've got some tampons in my bag if you need them... Your pmt is gonna get you in to trouble today... But I will let that one slide" she said sarcastically then I heard her footsteps walk away.

"fucking bitch!" I called out.

I lay in bed not wanting to venture out until they had gone, I waited half hour until the noise had died down then opened the door.

All the lights had been turned off. I went in to the kitchen and sat down at the breakfast bar with a glass of juice in the in The view.

I looked out to the pool as the moonlight shimmered on it. The villa had huge glass panelled walls that looked out to our pool area and a garden.

It was nice.

Just then I heard a bang from the front of the house. First of all I thought it was kendall and Fran but I only heard one set of footsteps. Fear then set in. I put my glass down and got off of my stool as quietly as I could. I opened the knife drawer up and choose the biggest mother fucker knife I could see in the dark room that was only lit by the moonlight.

As the intruder got nearer to the kitchen I hid behind the door, as they walked in I heard keys fall down, I swiped my weapon at them, then heard "savannah! What the fuck are you doing, you almost killed me!" James said as he stood up straight from picking his keys up from the floor.

"oh my God... Oh my God... Fuck I'm so sorry" I said as I dropped the knife and started crying.

"its okay... I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you jump... Shit" he said.

"I almost stabbed you James... Jesus Christ... I'm so sorry"

James smiled at me "so these are the kind of mistakes you want to learn from by being left on your own?" He mocked

"did Carlos tell you that?" I asked feeling betrayed.

James shook his head, "I heard you shout it earlier... You okay?"

"oh I see, I'm the laughing stock again am I, why are you back here on your own any way?" I asked

"your not a laughing stock! We forgot Georgi's blue blanket, she can't sleep with out it so I came back to grab it she was kicking up a fuss" he replied

"oh okay" was all I said back to him

"savannah you and me are okay aren't we, I noticed you looking at me a lot... It was just a one off you know. Your okay with that still aren't you?" He asked

"I thought you had been looking at me to be honest... Yeah I'm cool with that. You do turn me on though... Just saying" I smiled.

"you turn me on too parading around in that sexy little bikini, i would of fucked you on that lounger if I was Carlos too" he said leaning in and giving me a little kiss on the cheek

"we're not doing this again are we?" I asked him

He shook his head "I can't, I love Sheri. I love my little family. I just can't" he replied.

"will you touch me just once more... Please" I asked.

James looked at me, his eyes going straight through me, I locked eye contact with him then felt his hand enter my bikini bottoms, he slipped a finger inside of me then gently rubbed my clitoris. He grabbed hold of my wrist with his other hand before I could move it, I guess he learnt from last time when I tried to shoo him away with my hand when he tried to finger me before.

As I came once again in James' hand he still gently played with me, we didn't kiss, he was simply just touching me. I was lost in the moment of how good it felt.  
It wasn't until the lights turned on and Mackenzie was stood with a very shocked look on her face from behind where James stood that he slyly removed his fingers from my underwear.

I doubt very much that she would of noticed that from the position that she stood but she did see how James was grabbing on to my wrist... How the fuck was I going to explain this.

"what the fuck is going on?" Mackenzie practically screamed at James and I.

Just as she did the others followed in, everyone, the entire bunch, including kendall and Fran... And Carlos who just looked at me holding a bag of takeaway food in his hand. I guessed they had changed there minds on leaving me alone for dinner

I pushed James away and he let go of my wrist

"what's happened now?" Sheriden said as she walked in the room with the stroller. She did have a smile on her face but it soon faded as she summed up in her own mind what had been going on.

"are you two screwing?" Mackenzie said with tears in her eyes "I'm carrying your baby James, and you go and fuck everything up by shagging my sister!?" She added.

I looked at James, I think he was about to cry.

"oh for fucks sake, course we're not screwing" I said to the entire group that stood in front of me.

"then tell me what the fuck was that about then!" Mackenzie said through gritted teeth.

"Sheriden I'm so sorry I-" James began saying but I interrupted him.

"no honestly, its me that should be saying sorry, not just to you Sheriden, or you Los, but to everyone, I've let you all down. James and me... We weren't ... At it, we were arguing. James was threatening me," I said rubbing my wrist to emphasise that James' grip hurt me.

"what why?" Carlos said looking really angry.

"I've been ... On drugs, and James found out, I promised that I had stopped but he just caught me with some and chucked it down the sink, he was threatening me that he would tell you two" I said looking at Sheriden and Carlos.

"that's bullshit sav you have been taking blood tests" Mackenzie said, she was determined to drop me and James in the shit.

"urine tests actually, I've been using someone elses to pass" I said. James at this point crossed his arms over his chest so he no longer looked the guilty party.

"who's?" Mackenzie then asked

"its was me... I'm sorry" Fran then said.

I looked at her in shock.

"I'm sorry she begged me and I felt sorry for her, it was a huge mistake" Fran then said.

"you complete idiot" Carlos said to Fran

"did you know about Fran?" Sheriden said to James, he shook his head "no I had no idea it was her" he said as shocked as me that Fran was now our alibi.

"okay... Okay... your both fired" Sheriden then said to Fran and I and walked away.

James looked to me "I'm sorry" he said

"its fine James honestly" I replied then watched as he walked out the room to talk to Sheriden.

"why?" Mackenzie said

"I just needed to escape myself" I lied.

I looked at Carlos, he just turned and walked away, I think I heard the door go, he must of left the house.

"do you mind if I talk to these two in private?" Kendall said to Logan and Mackenzie.

Mackenzie nodded and walked away, Logan gave me the look to say he didn't believe a word of what I had just said.

"so you take take drugs now?" Kendall said to me.

"its got nothing to do with you kendall" I snapped.

"oh it is when you get my girlfriends piss to pass your drug tests savannah" he said.

"I'm sorry okay" I lied,

"spare the bull shit for someone that believes it, stay away from James, Sheriden is finally happy, I don't need you screwing it up for her" he said

"I wasn't screwing James, I was taking drugs... I've explained that" I said sarcastically to kendall.

"okay let me explain to you that Fran and I smoke weed... A lot, there is no way her piss would be any good for you... Why did you help her?" kendall then asked Fran

"she is my friend" Fran simply replied with a smile

"fine, well I hope you are both happy now you are jobless" kendall said. "are you coming to bed baby I don't think the atmosphere is going to be great tonight" he then added to Fran.

"you go ahead, I'm just gonna talk some sense in to this one" Fran said smiling.

Kendall nodded and walked away from the kitchen.

"why did you do that?" I asked Fran

"lots of reasons but the main one being Sheriden. Her thinking your on drugs is a lot better than her thinking your fucking her husband... I hope your not sav"

"no I'm not I just... Wanted to be me again" I said

"okay well kendall won't tell, nor will I, tell Sheriden it was cocaine, she will go easy on you, and tell Carlos you got scared, and your sorry... Its time to grow up savannah. Honestly it is, we can only help you as much as you want to be helped" she said then hugged me and walked away to her room

I then noticed Carlos sat outside by the pool.

I sighed and went out to chat to him

"hey..." I said

"hey!" He replied

"I'm sorry baby, I've ruined everything haven't I" I said with a real tear falling down my face.

he looked at me "no you haven't, I should of noticed sav... I'm so sorry, fucking Fran... I knew she was trouble... I'm gonna take better care of you, we will sort something out baby I promise, you can have your space that you need, just promise me you won't take drugs again" he said

"Los... Honestly I don't want to change anything, I don't want any space... I just want you baby... I mean that, I love you so much" I replied.

"you got out of your contract easy enough huh" he sighed.

"yeah... I'm gonna have to beg for that back huh... I like being me, and you like me being this way, I'm stupid to want to change Carlos... I will make it up to you, to everyone" I whispered holding his hand.

"I love you savs... You wanna talk to Sheriden now?" He asked

"no I think we should finish off what we started earlier" I Said with a smile

"maybe best not to do it out here" he grinned

"let's get to bed then huh. Sheriden will forgive me won't she? I asked as we walked in to the house.

"of course she will... I don't think kenz will though, he laughed.


	31. Chapter 31

Sheridens story

"so when did you find out? You should of told me James" I said as we got comfy on the sofa with the food we had got from the restaurant that they kindly let us take away.

"oh... a while ago, she promised me she had stopped, don't fire her Sheriden... She is just a kid, let her rebel a bit... I should of handled it better" he said.

I rubbed his hand as he sat down next to me. Georgi was wide awake and mooching about on the floor playing with some toys.

"you should of told me... I actually thought you had slept with her for a second. My heart sank to my stomach" I whispered.

"Sheri I love you. Our little life is perfect, I don't want to mess with that. You know me" he said

"yeah I know you and I know we haven't had sex in ages, I'm sorry..." I said feeling emotional.

"Sheri don't... The sex can wait... I just want you better. That's all I want. We are fine doing what we are doing" he said.

"well maybe tonight we could try, I'm sure there must be one position I can find that doesn't hurt too bad" I smiled

"we could have fun trying to find it I guess" James smiled "that's if you ever get tired Georgina" he added picking Georgi up.

She was all smiles. She handed James the little plastic horse that she had.

"Thankyou" he said doing the sign for it too.

She babbled away to herself as James played with her, running the horse up her arm then tickling her under her chin. She was chuckling away.

"I'm happy James... Like really happy. Life is perfect now isn't it?" I said snuggling in to him.

"it really is Sheri. is having a baby everything you expected?" He asked

"better" I replied with a smile

Kendall walked in with a crying Ophelia.  
"hey what's up with her?" I asked

"she fell down and hurt her leg, she is okay though... You gonna be okay if Fran comes out, she is worried you're gonna flip" he asked

"its fine, she shouldn't of done it but I understand why, she isn't fired, I was just angry, can I take phee for you?" I asked

kendall nodded, handed phee to me then walked out to tell Fran she was welcome to be in the same room with me without being shouted at.

Ophelia wouldn't stop crying then Georgi started grizzling because she didn't like phee on me.

I laughed at James.  
"swap?" I said.

He chuckled at me then, handed me Georgi who was holding her arms out for me, once James had phee she stopped crying, unfortunately for me Georgi didn't want to stop, she was tired and grumpy.

Kendall and Fran walked in.

"how does he do that?" He said looking at James with Ophelia.

I smiled, James was so good with kids. He did try handing phee back to kendall but she grizzled.

"the ladies can't get enough of the maslow charm can they?" Kendall said sarcastically.

Mackenzie walked in and sat next to me, she played peek a boo with Georgi, Georgi didn't play but it stopped her from crying. She then settled down and sucked her thumb while she cuddled her blankey in her arms, it was a fleece blanket that was almost the same size as her. Karen had called it blue blankey, so we carried that on, she loved her blue blankey.

"did you want me to take her while you eat something Sheriden?" Mackenzie asked me.

" I don't think she wants to move kenz, thanks anyway, you get eating though" I replied.

Logan then walked in and sat on a huge bean bag that sat on the floor.

"all okay?" He asked looking at James and I

James nodded

"yeah alls fine... Always a bit of something going on at a btr gathering huh, I will chat with savannah later. is she with Los?" I asked not sure if Carlos had gone missing after he walked out earlier

"yeah they are fucking" Logan said with a smile.

"logues! The babies!" Mackenzie moaned.

"sorry... So are we gonna eat or what!" He then said.

our group had a nice little chat while we all shared the food, James got phee to sleep in her cot and Georgi fell asleep on my lap. James sat next to me again and rested his head on my shoulder

"love you maslow" I said giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"love you too" he replied as he stroked back Georgis blonde hair while she slept.

"while we are all here I have a suggestion for you both" I looked up "Logan and James I mean" kendall said wrapping his arm around Fran.

"what's that?" James asked not moving his head from my shoulder

"about the tour" kendall replied

"hey don't forget about Carlos" I said

"well it doesn't really concern him its more you two, I don't think he would really care, I was thinking of doing something in memory of paisley" kendall explained.

Logan sat up now paying full attention. For him absence really did make the heart grow fonder, he missed paisley terribly. He was still having nightmares about that bloody earthquake. I suggested he should see someone before it screws him up inside.

"what were you thinking?" Logan asked.

"well last year we had a lot of fun with paisley on tour, I thought if we dedicate a song for her, the rushers will like it Coz Logan you are gonna cry your eyes out... I want everyone to know what she meant to us... To me" he said, he must of talked this little speech out with Fran as she just gave him a squeeze, not looking very hurt about this sudden chat about her boyfriends dead girlfriend and the mother of his child who everyone adored.

"did you have any song already picked?" James asked, he was also now very interested in this topic of conversation.

"yeah... Logues I want you to sing it... If you can, its a ColdPlay song. The scientist" kendall said.

"I don't think I could sing it for her without crying" Logan said.

"I love it, its a brilliant song for her, Logan you can do it, if you crack then one of us will pick it up for you" James said.

"kendall why don't you want to sing it?" Mackenzie asked.

"I just feel that after what happened with everything I would be a hypocrite... But between us, its coming straight from here" he said tapping his chest. "logues I will always love paisley. I will always miss her" he added

Logan nodded, he didn't talk. I think he was close to crying.

"actually I've been thinking about changing a few things too" James said changing the subject

"oh yeah! What's that?" Kendall asked.

Mackenzie got up from next to me and sat on the big bean bag with Logan. He was crying, she gave him a hug, and whispered something in his ear. James saw this but carried on talking deciding to not bring attention to poor Logan who was now giving kenzies belly a rub.

"cover girl!... I have a problem with that song and I think the rushers do to, some of the stuff I've read on twitter isn't that nice... Basically kendall your song is big lie now, three of us are dating or married to models, and let's face facts Mackenzie isn't exactly ugly huh" he finished.

Mackenzie looked up and laughed.

"well just don't sing it" kendall said.

"if you don't sing it then that will be worse" James said.

"well what then?" Kendall asked.

I was thinking of using the big screen but with a bit of a twist, maybe send the girls off to have some pictures done together" James said

"the girls? As in wives and girlfriends? have you gone mad? The rushers will go nuts James" kendall said

"they won't, I'm just trying to prove a point... So when we get back from holiday I will organise a photo shoot for our girls, all glammed up and looking hot together... Maybe get phee and Georgi done too... They definitely are cover girls" James added looking at our beautiful daughter-to-be who slept on my lap.

"well I'm telling you now the rushers will go insane if you bring up a picture of those four on the big screen" kendall said

"hmmm... We will see" James said, I for one liked the idea of his, it would make the rushers mad with jealousy so I thought it was amazing, but it was complete stage suicide for big time rush.

Carlos walked in with a sour faced savannah attached to his hand.

"I'm sorry everyone... Truly sorry... James, I don't quite know what to say" she said.

James got up and gave her a hug, he said something in her ear then came and snuggled back with me.

"we will talk about your problem when we are home savannah, for now I want you to flush whatever you have... I don't want to know how you even got it in to this country but you're not fired that was strike two!" I said

"okay... Thanks. What was strike one?"

"I do believe you called me a fucking bitch earlier?" I said.

"oh right yeah... I am sorry." she said again.

The night went fine after that. We shared laughs, and Logan cried a bit more as we talked about paisley.

James took Georgi from me and put her in her travel cot as we went to bed.

"so this is it then" I said with a smile as I sat on the end of the bed.

James laughed at me,"you look nervous Sheri... I will be gentle" he smirked.

"its not that... Savannah has a fantastic body doesn't she?" I said looking at my legs as I took my leggings off.

James looked at me and cocked his head, trying to fathom out my mood.

"she does yeh, she is 18 and she is pretty, and hot but she has a disgraceful attitude towards life that ruins the entire thing... You on the other hand are dirty because your over thirty, you are so fucking sexy, and you are still the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life, and your soul is so beautiful Sheriden... I love YOU, and all this" he said rubbing my heavily scarred leg that I very almost lost.

I smiled at him. Glad that we could talk so well, glad that he could somehow read my mind.

"come here" he said pulling me up off of the bed.

"okay so last time we tried bending you over..." He chuckled at the memory of our last failed sex attempt. We did get going but I couldn't hold my weight up on my knees with my hip that was mended but still very sore, and my ugly leg that still gave me trouble walking on my one crutch but now relied on Georgis stroller as something to lean on which I preferred over the crutch.

"so..." He said removing my underwear "I think..." He carried on, kissing along my neck "that if you just relax" he said picking me up gently "and let jimbo take care of absolutely everything" he finished as he entered me with my legs wrapped around him.

James gently moved my body, I loved it when he picked me up.

He moved me up and down against him. It was comfy and he was strong enough to carry it off, usually he would pin me up against a wall when we were like this but I think he wanted to do it himself... Kind of cave man. I liked it.

"tell me if its hurting you okay... Promise" he said as he penetrated me.

"James I promise... This ... Is... great" I breathed.

I kissed him as my arms were wrapped around his neck. I could feel his muscles tighten in his shoulders. It turned me on so much.

"Sheri!..." James almost laughed out "I'm sorry I can't hold on, I've needed this, he said as he climaxed.

I tugged at his hair and kissed his chin. "what does it feel like?" I whispered.

"so fucking good Sheriden" he said as I bit his lip. His eyes grinned at me.

"keep going... I'm... I'm there" I said as I came too.

"what did that feel like?" He then whispered to me.

"so fucking good" I smiled at him.

James kissed me then layed me on the bed.

"I'm just gonna grab a shower... Next time will be longer I promise" he laughed "... I love you" he said.

"love you too maslow" I said as he kissed me once more then went off for his shower.

I inspected my leg further as I was alone, below my knee looked so bad. My thigh on my other leg was slightly scarred too from where I had to have a skin graft.

James came out of the shower. "I was thinking tomorrow we could just hang by the pool and relax, I noticed some paps following us about today trying to get a glimpse of Georgi... Did you see them?" He asked as he towel dried his hair.

"yeah I Did notice a few. Why can't they leave us alone, we did a press statement about her, journalists piss me off so bad James... Especially when they hound our daughter!" I said without even thinking.

"wow our daughter!" James repeated

I smiled at him.

"it might not be official yet and I know I'm jumping the gun but yeah... our daughter" I smiled looking at Georgi as she slept in her cot at the side of our room.

"its amazing" James said now also looking at her.

"so just a chill day by the pool tomorrow? top the tans up? Family day in?" James added

"yeah sure" was all I repeated

"Sheriden don't think I haven't noticed all the maxi dresses and long skirts you have packed, I want you in a bikini showing your beautiful body off tomorrow" he said.

Once again James had read my mind. How does he do that.

"its hideous though, I don't really fancy going in the pool so I'm fine in my dresses" I smiled.

"I want to show you off though Sheriden, your beautiful, I shouldn't have to keep reminding you... Wear a bikini... For me... Please" he asked.

I sighed "everyone will look at me James. They are all younger and not... Battered about like me"I said.

"Sheriden its a scar on a leg, a man died, and we lost a friend, anytime I see the scar it reminds me that you survived, think of it as a tattoo of a memory that changed your life, what's the worst that can happen? Savannah makes a comment about it? If you can survive savannah and her huge irritating mouth then you can do anything" he finished.

I nodded then snuggled my tired head in to James' shoulder as he pulled the covers over me, I moved my legs in to the bed and fell to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to find no James but Georgi was just sat in her cot looking at a soft toy she had in her hand, I put my dressing gown on and picked her up then slowly and very carefully went to find James.

I found Fran and Ophelia in The kitchen.  
"morning... Where is everyone? I asked

"kendalls really sick, he puked everywhere this morning, James got up to go surfing but he ended up taking kendall to the doctors. He was really bad" she explained

"oh, if you want me to look after phee so you can go and be with him then I don't mind, we are just staying by the pool today anyway" I said looking at the worried face she wore.

"really? You don't mind? He was so ill Sheriden, I had never seen him so bad" she said.

"maybe he ate something that was off?" I then said "he will be fine"

"I hope so Sheriden I love him so much and I was hoping to have a really good time with him on this holiday" she said.

I smiled at her words, I had known Fran for years, seen her at her worst, even been with her for some of it in my own fragile state of mind but she really looked happy now. "it was your idea for the coldplay song wasn't it?" I asked her.

She looked at me "I mentioned that he should do something... Logan was playing on my mind after what savannah had told me... He chose that song though" she said.

"what did savannah tell you? Logan just thinks that kendall is jumping in again... he worries more what people will think of paisley than you two" I explained.

"well its more what didn't savannah say would be easier but she reminded me that I had been with Logan then her and Carlos made some comment that it was because of paisley... I try my hardest to understand what all of you are going through, in not trying to replace her Sheriden. Its not my fault she died. I didn't even know her" she rambled.

"hey hey Fran... Don't get wound up over it, Logan loved paisley, he is having a lot of problems accepting she is gone. Don't listen to savannah, you know what she is like... Where did James take kendall?"

"I try not to, he wrote it down over there" she replied pointing to a scrap of paper on the kitchen side.

"okay I will phone a cab for you, so get ready, leave phee to me, I will do her breakfast with Georgis" I said.

"thanks Sheri" she replied putting phee in to her high chair then walked off to her room.

I phoned James first to see if kendall was actually staying in hospital, he was, I said to James that Fran was going in to see him and I was looking after phee, Kendall was fine with that. James said he would go once Fran had arrived and that he wanted me in a bikini by the time he got back.

I rolled my eyes at the thought, phoned a taxi for Fran then did the girls breakfasts.

"they look cute" Carlos said behind me as he walked in the kitchen looking at Georgi and phee side by side in their high chairs.

"they do don't they?" I giggled.

"shoo I need to talk to you about savannah, I'm really worried about her" he said.

"well you should be Carlos, I've done everything I can to stop this kind of thing from happening honey but I'm afraid to say if she is going to do it then she will find a way... I honestly thought she was smarter than that Los" I added.

"Sheri I think we are smothering her, she was begging me yesterday to agree to breaking the contract she has with you. I think we should loosen the reigns on her a bit... I love her Sheriden" he said.

"don't agree to her going ahead and breaking it Carlos!" I moaned.

"I don't want to, I know why your strict on her and I agree, I don't want her ending up like you, do I?!" He said a bit too honestly "you know what I mean... Sorry" he added.

"I don't want her turning out like me either, those are the exact words that James used on me which made me write out her contract! But what do you want from me Carlos? I'm not about to say 'hey sav I know a great drug dealer if you wanna blow off some steam' am I" I said sarcastically.

"just let her do some stuff on the side, she really wanted to do that Kanye west video, you have no clue how in demand she is Sheriden, everyday she gets so many phone calls, emails and letters asking to do something, she feels like she is missing out on so much... Please just let her do a few things" he begged.

"like what though Carlos? she is 18 years old, she isn't missing out on anything yet. I'm getting her mentally prepared. She thinks she is big already well just wait until next year... I've got big plans for her Los" I smiled as I helped phee eat her breakfast.

"next year? Sheriden once that contract runs out she is not gonna re sign with you. even if she lasts that long, she is gonna find herself free and really go off track. I'm scared she will leave me"

"yeah well Carlos what do you think would happen if I let her swan off and do music videos for insanely rich, hot big black rappers. Your marriage wouldn't last five minutes if she mingled with those people so soon in to her career. You know what savannahs like, if something shiny catches her eye then she gets distracted from what is important... She will re sign with me, what I'm going to offer her is too good to refuse" I added.

"I doubt it Sheriden, she wants fame, she wants the world" Carlos argued.

"and I'm going to help her achieve that... Just trust me Carlos. She isn't ready to be set free on her own yet, when she does re sign and that contract runs out she will be twenty and would have learnt enough to know how to handle herself, letting her go now would be like letting a kid roam free in a candy shop" I argued.

"what's your big plan then? Because I don't think she would sign with you again Shoo" Carlos said as he sat down and tried to feed Georgi who wanted to spread her breakfast on the tray of her high chair.

"I wanted savannah to be on the judging panel of my show next year. I would be offering her a very healthy sum of money to do it plus the show brought in 6million viewers. She would be amazing on TV with that evil tongue of hers. She would become a household name overnight" I explained.

"really? Wow she would love that... Just tell her Sheriden and she can work herself towards something.. Look forward to it." He said.

"why should I have to though Carlos, she is under a contract now I shouldn't have to entice her, she should be showing me her good points... Her head is too big for her boots!" I sighed.

"its just how she is, she has always been like that" he said defending her.

"I'm proud of you, ya know" I said with a smile.

Carlos smiled back "I'm proud of you too shoo, its amazing How you changed your life since I first met you"

I laughed at the memory of the day I first layed eyes on Carlos, he was just a cheeky kid himself back then. I heard a car beep outside.

Fran walked in and gave phee a kiss "you be good for Sheriden and Georgi okay beautiful" she said as she picked her purse up.

"thanks for doing this" she said as she gave me a heart felt look.

"its fine, get going" I said as I heard the taxi horn again.

She smiled then was gone.

"where is she going?" Carlos asked.

"kendalls got a stomach bug or something, he is in hospital so I'm practising looking after two babies" I smiled.

after I had fed and dressed the girls for a day in the pool I sat them down in the living area of the villa. They both sat and played next to eachother.

"morning princess" Logan said as him and Mackenzie walked in.

"morning, you both sleep okay?" I queried.

"yeah the bed is amazing" Mackenzie said with a yawn, she sat on the floor and then played with the girls, Georgi more or less climbed on top of her.

"what are you guys doing today?" I asked them both.

"nothing... I feel a bit odd to tell the truth" Logan said

"really? Kendalls not well I hope there isn't something going around, kendall didn't eat our food last night" I said thinking allowed.

"yeah, I dunno, I just feel a bit odd, not sick, but my stomach is not right" he explained.

"poor you logues," I said just as James walked in.

"hey I thought I said bikini day!" He said with a wink and a kiss as he greeted me.

"yeah I will in a minute... How is kendall?" I asked feeling Mackenzie looking at me.

"dehydrated, I've never seen so much puke come out of someone. They think its a gastro bug"

"I hope he doesn't stay in over night" I said

"so Fran just left phee?" Logan asked looking at Ophelia as she sprawled herself over the rug on the floor.

"no logues I offered to look after her... Your okay with Fran aren't you? She worries a lot about what you think of her you know" I said

Logan just shrugged, I looked at Mackenzie who gave me her, 'he is trying face'

"kenz u wanna help me with these two in the pool while Sheriden gets changed" James asked

"yeah course" she replied.

I raised my eyebrow at James but walked off slowly unaided and with a limp to get changed.


	32. Chapter 32

Sheridens story

I chose a red bikini, my boobs looked great, I hoped they would steer any unwanted attention away from my leg.

I grabbed my stupid crutch to help me walk out to the pool terrace.

I saw through the kitchen window that everyone was up and sat out there now,I got a drink of juice from the fridge just as Logan came in, he took the juice from me after I had finished with it and poured his own glass out.

"you okay honey?" I asked.

"yeah just feel ... Not right, I might go back to bed in a bit... Sleep it off" he said rubbing his hand on his stomach.

"I hope the girls don't get sick, they are having fun out there huh" I said with a smile as I saw Georgi chuckling away with James.

Logan smiled. "you want me to help you out there and leave the crutches behind?" He asked.

I smiled at his kind gesture, Logan had seen the leg lots of times because him and Mackenzie had been living with us since it happened. "honestly Logan how bad does it look?" I asked looking at my leg.

"honestly Sheriden it looks bad, but no one is going to say eurghh look at that, we all know what happened, we all know how hard it has been, and to be honest I would rather look at that leg than a fake one if you had of lost it. Would you of got in a bikini at all with a fake one?" He asked.

"no I would be in trousers all the time" I confessed now thinking about the alternative option that had faced me.

"princess if it makes any difference you're still the prettiest girl out there, smashed in leg or not... Your still my princess Sheriden... Don't act like your not okay" Logan said smiling.

"thanks logues" I said taking his hand so he could help me out to the pool.

As I walked through as gracefully as I could I felt all eyes on me. This just made me hold my head up higher, I liked being the centre of attention. Logan sat me down on a lounger then sat himself by the side of the pool, taking Ophelia from Mackenzie and sitting her on his lap as he wiggled his feet in the water.

"wow Sheri that is one fucked up leg" savannah said as she watched me get comfy in my lounger.

I just glared at her and began sun bathing, next thing I knew I had a wet body climbing on top of me.

it was Georgi, James was holding her up by her hand as she tried to climb on me.

I looked up at James.

"hello mommy" he said to me as he tried his best to not let Georgi actually get on me.

"hello" I grinned back at him. His eyes were lit up.

"You wanna come in the pool?" He asked.

"sure" I replied. He helped me up to my feet, Mackenzie took Georgi in the pool as James sat me down next to Logan then jumped in the pool himself, he swam back over to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he kissed me.

He pulled me in to his body and slid me off the edge of the pool.  
"you look amazing Sheri" James whispered.

"you look amazing" I said back to him as I ran my hands over his delicious chest.

Georgi started crying so James let go of his embrace around me and left me to swim as he took her again.

I liked swimming, I spent ages in my own pool in bel air doing some lengths. I looked up at Carlos he was sat at the table on his laptop as savannah sunned herself.

I swam over to Logan and Ophelia feeling the beginning of a cramp in my leg, I tried to stretch it out.

"you alright?" Logan asked.

I nodded "cramp that's all... I need to do more physio, but that Neil guy is so irritating" I said.

Logan nodded.

"have any of you lot looked on the internet today?" Carlos called from his place at the large bistro style table.

"no because we are on holiday Carlos... You honestly need to get a life" Logan called back.

"oh okay, well you've made the headlines Logan, I won't bother reading it out then" Carlos mocked.

Logan turned to look at him, "fucks sake... What have I done now? I'm not even at home to make headlines!" He snapped in his unwell state.

"well its a nice picture of you and Kenzie but with the headline 'Logan hender son or daughter' the paps have noticed the bump" Carlos said with a delighted tone in his voice.

"really...? Shit my mom and Dad are gonna freak out" Kenzie said.

"I thought you told them" I asked.

"couldn't find the right words, I best go phone my mom" she said then got out the pool.

I rolled my eyes at James.

"well what do you want to do James?" Logan asked sounding pissed off.

"we address the nation I guess?", he replied.

"I don't want to, not today at least" Logan said. He really didn't look well.

"Sheri you should say something its not fair on Logan and Mackenzie... This doesn't sound too great what they have made up" Carlos said from in front of his laptop.

"what does it say Los?" I asked

Carlos read the article that was in front of him"Logan Henderson, 23 is the third member of the childrens TV show and band, big time rush to marry. Mackenzie Davies 19-" savannah laughed as they had got the age wrong for Mackenzie. "showed off a wedding band whilst on holiday with the other members of the band. the teenage bride also sported a nice round baby bump. Friends close to the couple say that the baby was a surprise but a very welcomed one.  
Henderson is also the third member of the band also know as BTR to have a baby, fellow band member kendall Schmidt had baby Ophelia rose with then girlfriend paisley prince who lost her life in hendersons house during the Los Angeles earthquakes last year due to a cheap rebuild of his home after a house fire in 2011 which caused the structure to be unsafe and -" I interrupted Carlos

"Los that's enough, its bull shit what they have written" I said now looking at the horrified face on Logan.

"is that what people think? I was told it was safe..." Logan snapped.

"Logan no one thinks that" I said.

"what else does it say?" Logan asked.

Carlos looked like he wish he never opened his mouth.

"just read the fucking article Carlos!" Logan snapped.

Carlos continued reading  
"which caused the structure to be unsafe and collapse on prince causing her fatal internal injuries. James maslow and troubled wife Sheriden have recently acquired 9 month old Georgi, reports say that Georgi was brought in to fix the marital problems that James and Sheriden have had in recent months.  
Logan and Mackenzie have only been together less than a year, along with Schmidt who was with paisley prince for even less time before announcing the arrival of a baby, it would appear that the btr boys are a fantastic advertisement to teenage pregnancies, bed hopping and shot gun weddings. Giving the wrong impression to their teenage audience." Carlos finished

"what a load of fucking shit" savannah said walking up and taking Ophelia off of Logan who was clearly very upset.

"Logan don't you dare listen to any of that" I said starting to cry. Usually hearing things in the papers didn't effect me but now with children and so much heart ache over paisley it was too close to home.

James tried his best to console me, he was still holding Georgi.

"its okay I've got her" Logan said then stepped in the pool and lifted me up to the side then got out again himself and Sat next to me by the pool side and chucked an arm over me.

Savannah went and Sat down with Ophelia next to Carlos. and James stood in front of me in the pool with Georgi.

"why are you crying Sheri?" James asked giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I shrugged and looked at Logan who was also crying.

"I am troubled aren't I?" I sobbed.

Logan shook his head and pulled me in for a hug.

I looked at James through my tear filled eyes.

"baby your not troubled" James whispered to me.

"I am though... Jesus Christ, look at me and the things I've done, I'm a complete embarrassment. What are Georgi and the twins going to think of me when they are old enough to understand the things I've done, read about the drugs and the trial and kendall... Oh my God" I sobbed.

"princess... Your children are going to love you... Look at Georgi and phee, they adore you. They won't care what they are told or what they may read because they will know the person you are. Just like each and everyone of us... We all fuck up, we all cause stupid shit to happen... Princess be proud of who you are." Logan said wiping a tear away from me.

"thanks Logan" James said.

"Los who wrote that article?" Logan asked.

"erm... Its the LA times website... The guy is Steven hanks." Carlos replied.

"Steven hanks... Okay, Steven is going down" Logan said with a teary chuckle.

Mackenzie came back out, she had been crying.

"How did it go?" James asked.

"well my mom was upset but after I explained everything she seemed okay. My Dad wouldn't speak to me, heather said that he is really angry... she said..." Mackenzie began crying. "she said she was sorry but my Dad doesn't want anything to do with me any more" she finished.

"oh fuck this kenz!" Savannah said sounding really pissed off. She then passed Ophelia to Carlos then grabbed her mobile phone that was sat on the table in front of her and dialled a number.

"yeah its savannah, what the hell are you doing saying shit like you don't want anything to do with Kenzie!" She raged

"no Dad I don't give a fuck" she continued.

"Kenzie is sat here crying her eyes out, she is pregnant Dad... Trying to help out a friend in the nicest fucking possible way ever."

"How is it Logans fault?!" She argued to her father.

" no I tell you what Dad, Logan is one hundred times a better man than you, you gave up on your wife, your family and now saying shit like that to your pregnant daughter... No she isn't married to him now!" Savannah retorted.

"no I tell you what Dad.. Fuck you! I'm done! Kenzie and I don't need you, nor does mom, we are all better off with out you!" She screamed then hung her phone up.

Savannah then went and gave her sister a hug.

"you didn't have to do that" Mackenzie blubbed.

"no I did, all this shit is pissing me off, Carlos set the camera up, Kenzie you and James can tell the world how and why you are knocked up, Sheriden your fucking awesome, don't listen to shit about yourself. I want your life Sheriden, your my fucking idol, I love you, you are everything I want to be, and Logan...fuck! man up. Stop crying, pais is gonna be thinking what a queer you are, her little girl is there, put your energy in to making her little life fabulous... That's what pais would honestly want. And as for being troubled... We are all fucking troubled, each and every one of us... We are all fucked in the head, but who gives a shit! We are a family guys. Let's not give a flying fuck what anyone thinks." She said finishing her rampage of words in the crudest uplifting speech I had ever heard in my life.

"savs I think you hit the nail on the head there" James said grinning from ear to ear.

"course I fucking did, Jesus this is meant to be a holiday. Look at you all crying" she said.

I then began laughing. I looked at James. He chuckled too.

"did you want to do a proper statement about the babies or do what savannah just said?" I asked James.

"let's just you tube it Sheri... Cmon kenz, let's do it... " James said sounding very upbeat.

mackenzie sorted her face out, while James and Carlos set the camera up on the phone and sorted out somewhere to sit.

"Los will you film it? It will probably be easier" James asked.

"yeah course, that's fine" Carlos replied as I watched them both as i still sat next to Logan by the pool. Savannah had exhausted herself by her motivational speech it seemed and had returned to sun bathing on her lounger she had conveniently placed her self in camera shot though.

So James and Mackenzie sat at the bistro table, James decided to hold Georgi on his lap seeing as she hadn't been properly shown off yet, he thought it was a good time to let the world see her. Mackenzie then decided that she would hold phee, I'm not sure if kendall was going to appreciate it but we all thought they looked cute.

"Okay ready and recording now!" Carlos said.

James smiled in to the camera.

"hey guys. thought it was about time to bring you all up to speed with what's going on. I have three beautiful girls with me today, Macks and phee on the end there, and this is Georgi" James smiled.

"we are currently on a little holiday in Dubai, the entire gang is here... Carlos is behind the camera... Say hi Los" James said smilng, Carlos turned the phone round and gave the rushers a wazzzzzuuuuuu.

"Sheri and Logan are by the pool" James said, Carlos turned the camera to us, I gave a wave, Logan just smiled.

"and savannah is... Where is she?" James asked.

"she is behind you dude... Savs say hi" Carlos said.

Savannah only moved her hand as she lay on the lounger and raised her middle finger to the camera, I smiled to myself looking at her.

"kendall isn't well today so that's why he isn't here and why we have Ophelia... Okay so, this is Georgi, she is the newest member of my family, Georgi is settling in with us just fine. We haven't introduced her yet because obviously its such a huge change in her life... Georgi say hi to the rushers" James said waving at the camera. Georgi didn't wave but she gave out the most gorgeous chuckle.

"phee do you want to say hi" Mackenzie said to Ophelia.

Carlos gave her a wave behind the camera and she did wave back to him. Mackenzie gave her a little kiss on the head.

"okay so... Erm Sheriden and I did make a statement about Georgi letting you all know about her, we are just looking after her for now but the adoption as far as I know is going great and she should be a fully fledged maslow in just a few months. So we are really excited about everything that is happening at the moment. We decided to do a video today just to clear a few things up. Which is why Mackenzie is sat with me... We have a really cool announcement to make" James said just as savannah got up from her lounger and walked up to Kenzie.

"I'll take phee" she smiled putting her ass towards the camera.

Mackenzie handed Ophelia over then savannah came and sat with Logan and I out of shot.

"shall I show them?" Mackenzie said to James, as far as I was aware Mackenzie had never done anything public like this, she looked a bit nervous.

"sure" James replied and Mackenzie stood up in her bikini and showed off her baby bump. James gave it a rub and Mackenzie sat down.

"so, we saw in the news today that people are noticing this beautiful bump that Mackenzie has and felt we should explain exactly what is happening. Erm... Mackenzie and Logan are not married, the ring is just a ring, and also Mackenzie and Logan are not having a baby. To cut a very long story short, Mackenzie is carrying mine and sheridens baby, we have been doing ivf with her for the last few months and she finally fell pregnant 16 weeks ago. She has not one but two beautiful baby maslow boys in here ... Kenzie I just want to say how amazed I am by you to do this for us" James said

Mackenzie threw her arm around James and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Kenzie did you want to say anything?" James asked her.

"yeah actually... usually I like to keep my distance from all the media and the fame but I just want to say that Logan, you are my world, you always will be, I'm proud that you are my boyfriend, your amazing, I love you logues" she said looking at Logan and not the camera.

"love you too Macks" Logan replied.

"Mackogan rocks! Whoop whoop!" Savannah shouted out to which everyone had a little chuckle at

James smiled back to the camera "I think that is everything we needed to say... We want to thank all you guys for sticking with us, its been an insane year. Hope to see you all on tour... Say bye to the rushers Georgi" James said as he waved her hand for her at, the camera.

Carlos put his phone down. "are you happy with that?" He asked.

"Yeah that was great I think, apart from savannah and her ass in it" James laughed raising an eye brow to savannah. Are you happy with that Kenzie?" James asked

"it was polite and the truth so yeah I'm happy with that... Upload it Los" she said.

"thanks for saying what you did savannah... I wouldn't really think that I'm idol material" I said to her.

"oh Sheriden don't start getting mushy on me. Your a legend, your never gonna be forgotten... Ever. I want that, I want the history books to cling on to me too" she replied.

"they will sav. Don't you worry about that... But Thankyou" I said again.

"right I'm gonna get smashed out of my face, who is gonna join me? Logues?" Savannah said

"no I'll pass today sav. There is a bottle of champagne in the fridge, help your self to it" he smiled.

Savannah smiled then walked off to the kitchen handing Ophelia back to Mackenzie.

"James..." I asked.

"yeah baby?" He replied.

"come here a minute" I said.  
James walked over from the table and sat next to me with his feet dangling in the pool. I checked through the glass that sav was still in the kitchen.

"what's up?" He questioned.

"what did you catch her with... Savannah I mean. What was she taking" I asked

"oh... I'm not sure, just some kind of pills... Ecstasy I guess... I'm not sure why?" He replied.

"pills... ? She just seems very straight headed to of been on anything that's all. When did you find out?" I asked.

"um... Same night I went to San Diego to meet Karen. She was high then, that's how I found out" he said

"oh okay... Shit you let her drive your truck and everything James... What were you thinking?" I said.

"I don't think I was thinking that day Sheri" he simply replied.

"yeah fair enough, I'm going to have a chat with her, make sure she is as okay as she is letting on... Can you help me up?" I asked.

"sure" he said then, got up himself then lifted me with one strong arm around my waist while he still held Georgi in his other.

I limped my way in to the kitchen, savannah was on her second glass of champagne already and eating pineapple slices from the fridge.

"sav can we talk about what happened yesterday?" I asked her.

"honestly Sheri, there is no need, it was just a mistake, James flushed the coke down the sink, its all gone!" She said in an optimistic way.

"cocaine?" I asked puzzled as James had said they were pills.

"yeah sorry, its good shit huh... Just snorted that shit up... But not gonna do it again I promise... " she carried on as she rummaged through the fridge.

"have you taken anything else savannah, heroin... Ecstasy... Any pills?" I asked.

"no just the coke... Honestly Sheri, I'm fine, let's just forget it happened huh. I'm going back out to the pool. You coming?" She said.

"erm... No. I'm going to get changed" I replied now feeling a terrible dread loom in my stomach and an ache in my heart.

I watched savannah as she strutted out side. She was gorgeous, why would James lie and say pills, why lie about the drug... Maybe he isn't lying about the drug, maybe the lie is the actual scenario... I felt sick.

I walked in to my room and lay on the bed. James walked in after a few minutes to put Georgi down for a nap.

"hey I wondered what you were up to... Why are you in bed?" James whispered as he put Georgi down to sleep.

"she is deaf James, you don't need to whisper" I snapped.

"the twins won't be though, so best get in the habit... What's wrong?" He asked.

"your sleeping with savannah aren't you" I said still facing away from him as I lay on the bed.

"what... Don't be ridiculous... What did she say?" He said

"she didn't say anything but she seemed to think it was cocaine she was taking... What's happened James? What have you done?" I asked now turning to face him, the tears pouring on my face.

James just looked at me for what seemed an age.

"...okay... the night I took her to San Diego we did end up doing it, but it was just a huge massive mistake. I love you, I love Georgi and I love our little boys... Please Sheri. It was one mistake... I promise."

"you slept with her when Mackenzie miscarried one of our children! Jesus James!" I said shocked

"what are you going to do Sheri?"

"tell me what happened yesterday... The truth!" I snapped.

"I touched her, she asked me to. she hasn't been able to... She is scared of asking Carlos just incase she freaks out. I just touched her... I didn't kiss her or anything, I said to her that I loved you, I said life is perfect. She just made the entire drugs thing up... Sheriden I'm so sorry... What are you going to do?" He asked again.

"what do you mean what am I going to do? You haven't left me much choice James" I spat back at him.

James put his hands on his head "oh God please no... please... It was a mistake. Please don't leave me... Not now, not now everything is so fucking perfect... Please I'm begging you... It was a mistake" he rambled.

"James... Just shut the fuck up, I didn't mean I'm leaving you. I mean you haven't left me with much choice to do anything, if this comes out it will hurt Los, it will hurt Georgi but worst of all it will hurt Mackenzie to know that her own sister has fucked up her entire pregnancy by a sleeping with the father of the babies she is carrying... Just tell me why? Why savannah" I asked

"she was drunk that night and kissed me, you and i hadn't had sex for ages, and I was pissed at you for chucking me out and saying you didn't want me if there was no baby. She kissed me and we did it, I swore it was a one off" he explained.

"what? You were the one that said you would finish me if I didn't agree to have a baby somehow James!" I snapped.

"I didn't fucking mean it, I was scared stiff of losing you to kendall... You know how much I love you, you know I couldn't Care less if it was only you and me until the day I die... I just need you Sheri... Sav meant nothing... I was just angry, and yesterday ... Fuck I have no clue why I touched her" he said now crying.

"she is very attractive James." I sniffed.

"she is nothing compared to you Sheriden... I mean that on our babies lives. I love you and adore you... It was a mistake... Grant me one mistake Sheri please" he begged.

I took James in my arms as I sat up.

"I don't know how to cope with this... how do I cope?" I sobbed in to his shoulder.

" just believe me when I say I'm sorry... Look I don't want to drag it up but when I found out about you and kendall it killed me, seeing you together now kills me, but I just concentrate on something else... Hate will eat you alive. Forgiveness is what keeps things going as normal... I'm so sorry Sheriden. You are all I need and all I want." James pleaded.

I sat there thinking for a minute. Thinking about how stupid my husband was, and how perfect our life was about to be. I really did love him. I knew he did love me too.

"if I forgive you James like you forgave me, you need to promise that your telling me the truth. That It was a mistake. We need to be united James... We have a baby to think about and another two on the way"

"everything I've just told you is the truth. I love you Sheri" he said wiping his face.

"okay then I'm going to forget that it happened, I forgive you... Savannah is fucked in the head" I replied.

"does she know that you know?" He asked.

"no, I'm not going to tell her either" sternly.

"Sheriden I love you... Do you still love me?" He asked

"James of course I do... You deserve to be granted one act of forgiveness" I said thinking of the many things James had forgiven me for, running away, sleeping with kendall, running away with kendall, and murder. Him making one mistake didn't seem so bad"

"is it okay if we just stay here for a bit, I just want to hold you in my arms" he whispered.

"I would like that." I replied as we layed down looking at each other.

"I love you. I can't wait for Georgi to be ours and the boys to arrive. I must be the luckiest guy alive" he said as he kissed me on the head.

A knock came to the door. I could hear Ophelia screaming on the other side.

James got up and opened it to Logan, who looked grey and a very grumpy phee.

"I'm sorry, but can you try and sort her out... I'm gonna be sick" he said. Just as James took phee Logan puked everywhere on the floor in the door way.

"oh my God logues, quick in the toilet!" I said pointing to the en suite that was in our room.

James sang Ophelia a song while Logan yakked his guts up in my toilet. I sat up on the bed as Logan came out.

"how are you feeling honey?" I said not trying to breathe in the smell of the sick in the hallway.

"awful... Don't let kenz near me Sheri, I don't want her sick okay" he said then darted back of to the toilet.

"poor logues" I said looking at James as he put phee down on the other end of Georgis travel cot, he had got her to sleep with his magical maslow charm.

"suppose I best clean this up" James said rolling his eyes. I went in to the en suite to make sure Logan was okay, he was heaving his guts up still.

Mackenzie came to the door.  
"Logan! Oh baby... Are you okay?" She said.

"Kenzie please stay away, I honestly can't let you catch this... I'm fine please... Just go" Logan replied to her with his head in the toilet bowl.

I walked out with Mackenzie "I will look after him okay, its just stomach flu... I can't have you sick Mackenzie" I said rubbing her tummy.

Mackenzie nodded.  
"kendalls back, he is in bed now though" she replied.

"okay ..." I said now looking at poor James who was cleaning up Logans vomit.

My second evening of my holiday went by with me looking after Logan. I didn't leave his bedside. He was awful but refused to go to the doctors. By nine he had stopped being sick but was still very under the weather.

We decided to venture out of the room and see what the others were up to.


	33. Chapter 33

Sheridens story

"hey baby how are you feeling now" Mackenzie asked as Logan sat down in a chair in the Large living room of the villa.

"a lot better but my chest is killing from being so ill" he replied.

I went and sat next to James, he was looking a bit sorry for himself.  
"I love you" I whispered as I snuggled in to him.

he smiled like my words had healed him completely "I love you more sher bear" he replied

"where are the girls?" I asked noticing that Georgi and Ophelia weren't in the room.

"Los and savannah took them out for a walk in the double stroller that kendall brought with him" Mackenzie replied.

I looked at kendall who was laying down on the larger of the three sofas  
"oh you said I could have first go with that kendall" I said and gave him my sad face.

He smiled at me. "I'm sorry shoo, phee was screaming her head off there was no way I would of been able to look after her feeling like this... Its awful" he said as he rubbed his hand on his belly,

"poor you... Where is Fran? She isn't sick too is she?" I asked him.

"no she was shattered, she was up all night looking after me so she went off to bed about half hour ago" he replied.

I nodded in reply.  
"so much for a relaxing holiday before the madness starts huh?" I sighed.

"it will perk up tomorrow Sheri, I was thinking maybe we could go sight seeing, just you me and Georgi tomorrow. Family day in didn't go so great, so maybe family day out will be better. We could pack a picnic" James said taking my hand in his.

"sounds perfect James... I love you so much I said giving him a little kiss which turned in to quite a seductive one, he ran his tongue in my mouth, teasing me with it.

As I pulled away I saw James' eyes smiling at me. I then heard kendall sigh.

"has any one read any of the comments from you tube yet?" I asked

"no I'm too scared" Mackenzie said looking at Logan who gave her a reassuring wink from across the room.

James pulled his phone out of his shorts pocket and had a look.

he chuckled to himself.

"they love the girls, lots saying about Georgis cute laugh and ophelias wave" James smiled.

"you don't mind us putting phee in the video do you?" I asked kendall.

"no its fine" he replied.

"Sheri you have a bit of a fan base now. The rushers are liking shames" James said looking at me.

Shames is the name that rushers labelled James and I as a couple.  
"really why and how" I laughed.

"well I think they feel sorry for us but listen to this... ' James and Sheriden have been through so much, those twins are going to be gorgeous!' Says one girl. Another one says 'Sheriden actually looked normal in that video. Omg!' " James laughed.

"what are they saying about Kenzie?" Logan asked sounding groggy.

"erm...' Mackogan rocks whoop whoop ' is a popular phrase" he chuckled. "nothing much, just saying how nice she is to do something like that and how cute her comments about you were" James continued.

I smiled at Logan

"so your reputation isn't tarnished too bad then Kenzie" Logan mocked her.

Mackenzie blew him a kiss from across the room.

"savannah on the other hand has not faired very well" James said

"I'm not surprised she is completely out of order to them all the time" Mackenzie replied.

"what does it say" I asked

James eyed me, I think he picked out the worst ones he could find for my benefit.

"okay... Here's a horrible one 'who the fuck does that savannah whore think she is'... Erm another says. 'why do btr hang out with savannah, she thinks she is amazing but look at the state of that ass... What a ho' and this one is really awful 'no wonder that bitch got raped, Carlos you can do sooooo much better.' " James finished.

"wow... I hope she doesn't read those... Poor savs... She really doesn't help herself though" Mackenzie replied. "maybe she will calm down once the drugs are out of her system" she added.

I noticed kendall and Logan exchange glances at each other, the look they shared made me think that it was only Mackenzie and Carlos that didn't know the truth about savannah and James.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear, the front door to the villa made an almighty racket, I then heard savannah laughing hysterically as she entered the house.

James got up and walked out to the hall where they were.

"what the fuck?" I heard him say.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry" I heard Carlos say.

I got up hearing that and hurried out to make sure the girls were okay, I saw savannah sprawled out on the floor, her knickers showing and she was giggling away to herself incredibly drunk.

"you let her take our baby out in that state?" I snapped at James.

Kendall walked out too, the girls were both asleep in the stroller.

"of course I didn't... Los did you go to a bar?" James asked confused.

"no course I fucking didn't, sav filled a little lemonade bottle up with vodka, I only realised when she started stumbling about... I came straight back, " he replied.

"you stupid bitch" kendall said as he slowly unclipped phee and walked away to put her in her bed for the night.

"oh fuck you kendall, I'm on holiday!" She called after him,

I noticed James look at savannah with pure hate in his eyes then, I knew he was cussing himself in his head for being so stupid as to sleep with a complete moron like savannah Pena.

He didn't say a word, he took Georgi and put her in our bedroom then took my hand and led me back to the living area.

savannah and Carlos came in, carlos didn't look impressed but he was all over her as they sat down on the sofa kendall had been laying on

"sav why are you such an idiot" Mackenzie hissed at her sister as kendall walked in the sat next to me.

"she is an embarrassment... Why do we hang out with her?" kendall snapped as he got comfy resting his head on the arm of the sofa but squashing me slightly with his backside as he leaned side ways.

"hey dude that's not on" Carlos replied to kendall.

"to tell you the truth I have no idea why I hang out with you lot, your all so boring now" savannah slurred out with a bitch face on her.

"sav!... its been a rubbish day filled with sickness. We still have a lot of holiday left, don't spoil it." Mackenzie replied to her.

"oooh I know I got this really cool truth or dare app on my phone, do you guys want to play that?" Carlos said looking at the group in front of him

"not really" James replied dryly then kissed my head.

"fuck them Los" savannah slurred out.

"No we can play Carlos, I don't mind telling the truth" I said as I glared at savannah but she was too drunk to notice.

Logan looked at me then sat up. "fuck it go on then I'm in" he replied as he gave me a smile.

"okay well hang on I have to write every ones names in, then it comes up with the questions when I press the button" Carlos said as he tapped on his phone.

"oh so we don't get to choose the questions?" Mackenzie asked.

"no the phone will tell us the question and at which player it is aimed at" Carlos clarified.

James gave me a kiss on the cheek, I squeezed his hand to let him no I wasn't about to blurt any secrets out.

"okay ready" Carlos announced then put his phone on the floor so everyone could see it. He pressed go.

it read out Mackenzies names  
"truth Or dare kenz?" Carlos asked her

"truth" she replied

Everyone laughed as they read what had come up,

"Mackenzie would you do a three some?" Carlos read out.

"erm... No I don't think so... I would have to be really drunk, and it would have to be with another guy not a girl" she said.

James and Logan got the giggles and both went a bit red.  
Mackenzie didn't pick up on it but I knew both our boys had previously teamed up with a girl in the early days of big time rush.

"so you need to get macks drunk" kendall laughed.

Savannah stayed quite, I don't think she felt comfortable with the topic of conversation of two guys on one girl for obvious reasons.

Carlos pressed the button and the phone read out his name

"truth or dare Los?" savannah slushed out.

"I will go dare" he grinned.

The phone then read out 'dry hump someone of your choice' to which Carlos then came and rubbed himself all over James.

It relieved the tension in the room that savannah had started, the laughter kept coming after that.

Savannahs name got shown up on the phone she chose truth and had to explain how and where she lost her virginity.

"well I was 13, and it was in my bed at my house" she replied.

"13!" Both Mackenzie and kendall repeated.

"yeah I didn't care, I just did it then kept on doing it, I think I slept with most the hot guys at school... And some ugly ones" she admitted.

"Jesus really? I've only slept with 2 people in my life!" Mackenzie cried out.

"yeah but look at you knocked up with James' baby" savannah said crudely.

"well I've slept with hundreds of girls but the only one that has ever satisfied me completely is Sheriden" James then said loudly, I noticed savannah give him the death eyes to which James squeezed my hand. I smiled to myself.

"Logan go on what's your figure, I've always wanted to know" I asked.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "over 800" he replied quietly, Mackenzie just rolled her eyes, she must of known this already.

Carlos pressed the button on the phone again, kendalls name popped up,  
"truth" he said before he was given an option.

"okay... What's the most amount of times you have had sex in one day?" Carlos read out.

I felt my face go red, but kendall said the figure I had in my head, so I assumed that it was with me

"11" he replied.

"stallion... No wonder you're not fat" Logan laughed.

Carlos pressed the button

My own name came up, I chose truth.

"Sheriden, have you ever done anything sexually that would be considered weird?" Carlos read out

both James and I burst out laughing, our sex life was very bizarre at the best of times because James was so kinky.

"erm yes, I would think the weirdest would be ... Okay don't laugh, but high heels and cubes of cheese" I said then got the giggles, James went the reddest I had ever seen him and Logan actually looked confused and in awe at the same time.

"fucksake" Carlos said laughing.

He pressed the button again

Logans name came up, he said truth and got asked the question 'have you ever been intimate with a virgin?'

Carlos conveniently got up to use the toilet at this point. Not wanting to hear the details of how Mackenzie lost her virginity to Logan while she was dating Carlos.

"I have" was all Logan replied

"I have... is that it?" Savannah snorted.

"its not my place to give out details, it was absolutely mind blowing and romantic, but my memorys on that are just to share with Mackenzie... I don't want to share it with any one else... " Logan replied.

"and your house burnt to the ground while you fucked my husbands girlfriend" savannah then said spitefully.

"Jesus Christ savannah, your so fucking nasty on a normal day but your just an ass hole when you've had one too many drinks" kendall snapped.

"fuck off kendall... Okay truth or dare for you, if you weren't with Fran and pais hadn't snuffed it. who in this room would you like to fuck, Coz I'm pretty damn sure you wouldn't turn me down!" Savannah almost shouted,

I heard Georgi cry out. "I'll go" I said to James as I tried to avoid the answer that might come out of kendalls mouth.

I walked in to check on Georgi she had lost her blue blanket at the bottom of her bed but settled again once she had it once more.

I walked back out to the living room. Carlos was now yelling at kendall.

"HEY! Keep the noise down, there are two babies sleeping just through there and Fran is exhausted... What's going on?" I demanded.

"kendall is being a total twat, that is, what is going on" Carlos said.

"how am I being a twat? That silly bitch asked me a question, I answered, she didn't like it." Kendall said more looking at Carlos than me.

I looked at James, "kendall said Mackenzie!... There's a turn up for the books" he said with a smile creeping on his face.

I looked at kendall who just shrugged then winked at me, obviously he only said that to piss savannah off, and it had worked.

"what about you logues?" I then said

Logan actually laughed out loud, "its gotta be you princess, your... Insatiable" he said licking his lips sarcastically,

Savannah huffed at this "you gotta be kidding right? The scars alone make me want to gag up my breakfast" she replied.

I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart at such hurtful words, then walked out to the kitchen before I said something I would later regret or slap the silly bitch.  
"what about you then James" I heard savannah say as I leaned on the kitchen counter.

"purely for make believe purposes only?" He clarified.

"yeah course." She slurred at him

"purely fictional" he then said.

Kendall walked out to the kitchen and gave me a hug, he felt really hot with a temperature.

As I stood there silently I listened in to what James was saying in the next room.

"okay, on a purely made up basis, first place I would of smashed paisleys back doors in, then Mackenzie is a little sexy fire cracker, I probably wouldn't kick Fran out of bed either then if I had enough juice and I could tape your trashy mouth up, I might consider you, but to be honest I have trouble believing that even Carlos can find something attractive in you savannah. You look the part now but honestly your soul is so ugly. Your a disgrace to your family and your friends" James replied, he too walked out to see me in the kitchen, he just sat on the kitchen counter next to where I was crying on kendalls shoulder, he rubbed my back gently.

Kendall pulled out of the hug and cupped my face in his hands. "don't you listen to that dumb ass bitch. Every inch of you is insanely beautiful shoo. I love you okay" he said as he kissed my forehead then gave James a pat on the arm then walked out in the direction of his bedroom.

I then snuggled in to James  
"thank you baby" I sniffed out.

"shh cmon Sheri, kendalls right, your so beautiful, you honestly are" he said holding me tightly.

"James I'm too proud to look like this... How would you feel about me having some kind of surgery ... Just so its not as bad?" I asked now looking up at him.

"I would say don't bother... Did you want to stay here or go book a nice hotel? Away from that bitch" he said.

"see how it goes tomorrow but I'm not putting up with this for another twelve days baby"

"I know Sheri, somethings got to give huh." He replied then led me off to bed.


	34. Chapter 34

Mackenzies story

4 weeks had passed since my sister had made a complete joke of herself on our holiday.

Her attitude hadn't improved much but she did apologise for her behaviour. I was now twenty weeks pregnant. I felt huge but it seemed the bigger I got the more I turned Logan on. He loved the bump. Or he liked me putting on weight.

Logan and I were still living with James and Sheriden. With the guys just going on tour Sheriden would need help with Georgi and I would need help with my emotions. I just could not stop crying, if I wasn't crying then I would be in fits of laughter at the most mundane things.

the tour had kicked off just two days ago, Sheriden and I were travelling up with savannah to west Virginia. The plane journey was one of sheridens better ones, Georgi was crying so she was more concerned about her than the plane falling from the sky.

Fran was staying at home with Ophelia and kendalls mom who had insisted she look after her granddaughter while kendall was away. She had decided against coming with us as the purpose of our trip was to scatter paisleys Ashes.

Once we had landed, a car took us to the hotel we would be staying in. I got settled then a knock came to the door, I opened it up to my handsome boyfriend.

"hello beautiful" Logan greeted me with.

"hey logues, I missed you" I said giving him a hug.

"missed you too. was your flight okay?" He asked.

"it was fine, are you ready to do this yeah, final goodbye for pais?" I said rubbing the side of his face.

He nodded "yeah its a good day for it huh"

"yeah it is, cmon let's get going baby, the others will be waiting for us." I said taking his hand.

Kendall did want to have the tour bus parked up by the beach, but the timing would of been wrong by the time the boys had reached a good enough beach location so we had settled for a local hot spot that was popular with dog Walkers, it had a large woods and beautiful scenery.

The tour bus was already parked up for us. Once Logan and I had arrived the rest of the gang was already there.

"hey guys" I said to James, Carlos and kendall

they all smiled .

"okay so let's do this then!" Kendall said, climbing up on to the roof of the bus. Logan was next up after he gave me a kiss, then, James, savannah and Carlos.

Sheriden and I stayed on the floor, she held Georgi in her arms.

kendall got the pretty little urn out that held the last remains of pais inside it.

"okay so here goes... Pais I think your gonna have more fun flying off this bus than staying sat in my wardrobe at home... We had a lot fun on this bus, a lot of sex, a lot of laughs and even made our little girl. You would be so proud of her paisley" kendall said fighting back the tears.

"I miss you pais, more than you will ever know. I think of you everyday and tell Ophelia about you all the time, she looks so much like you now. She looks after kendall, and keeps him in check... Enjoy this tour when you look down on us... Its all for you sweetheart." James said.

"miss you and love you pais, eyeliner sales have fallen dramatically since you went. Sleep tight" Carlos said which everyone had a smile or a chuckle at remembering the love paisley had for her eyeliner.

"Reno Reno Reno... I'm a mess with out you in my life. On day three of the tour and all I can think of is you, I wish I could see your face just once more... I miss you Reno... Between you and me Kenzie doesn't like to talk about giving head as much as you did" Logan said with a laugh. "Sheriden misses you, we have spent a good few nights crying over you pais. Look out for us all huh. " logan finished.

"did you wanna say anything girls?" Kendall said looking down at Sheriden and I

"yeah. I know that you are looking out for me pais... I feel you with me a lot of the time, I know you help me when I know I shouldn't deserve it... we are letting you go now but make sure you visit honey... I love you pais" Sheriden said to which I started crying.

"cmon kenz, did you wanna say bye?" Sheriden said as she gave my shoulder a rub.

I shook my head to say I physically couldn't. I was so emotional.

"I will for you Kenzie" savannah said from the top of the bus "pais I hope you can hear and see us all from wherever you are, I always liked you even when I was little but Kenzie adored you, when she bumped in to you again she was well excited, its such a shame all the bad shit happened and you're not with us now. So when kendall chucks you out of that pot make sure you float off somewhere exciting. Feel free to go far because I know you will be in kenzies heart forever, in all our hearts forever. We are your family pais, make sure your causing a fucking stir up in the clouds okay babe!" Savannah said. I looked up to my sister as she sat next to Carlos on the roof of the bus. She smiled at me.

"Thankyou" I blubbed at her.

"James do you mind doing it, Logan and I spent a while arguing over who wanted to so we decided you" kendall said seriously.

"I would be honoured... Okay here goes." James lifted the lid up "we love you paisley" James said as he scattered the Ashes. The wind took most of her in to the woods, some landed on the grass. I'm pretty sure some even blew back in to the bus through the open windows.

Kendall crouched down from his standing position and cried his eyes out, James gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder then climbed down, followed by Carlos who helped sav down and Logan who took me in his arms and we both had a good cry.

Kendall stayed on top of the bus for the best part of an hour, savannah and Carlos left in their hire car back to the hotel.

I sat with Logan, James and Sheriden at a wooden picnic table while we waited for kendall to collect his thoughts.

"you two looking forward to the show tonight then?" Logan asked Sheriden and I.

"yeah I can't wait. Savannah is looking forward to pissing the rushers off with the pictures we had taken." I replied.

Logan and James looked at each other and smirked.

"what are you two up to then?" Sheriden said to the boys.

"nothing just proving a point on what a cover girl is that's all" James replied with a smile.

Kendall climbed down from the bus, he sat next to Sheriden and collapsed crying pulling her in for a hug.

"come on honey... You okay?" She soothed.

Kendall nodded "I miss her so much Sheri"

"I know... We all do" she said

"I just worry that phee is gonna end up some teenage brat Coz i failed to raise her well" kendall sobbed now putting his head in his hands and leaning on the table.

"dude your doing an amazing job, phee is so lucky to have you... You found a great girl in Fran too. She is nice" Logan said with a smile on his face.

"you like Fran?" Kendall asked him

"yeah she is a cool chic" Logan smiled "she is good with phee too" he added.

"I really love her, she is amazing" kendall then said with a teary smile.

"come on guys we best be heading back, only a few hours til show time." James then said standing up with Georgi and holding his hand out for Sheriden.

"who is collecting the bus then?" I asked looking at the tour bus that dominated the car park.

"Danny is taking it back at 6" kendall replied.

I nodded.

"you okay to drive?" Sheriden asked kendall.

"yeah I will be fine shoo, I will see you after the show okay. Thanks for coming to do this with me guys" he said with a smile then walked off to his car.

"come on then chubs, let's gets you back" Logan said to me giving my belly a rub.

Logan and I drove back to the hotel after we said our goodbyes to Sheriden and James.

Sheriden wouldn't trust Georgi with any hired Nannies or baby sitters so she had flown in James' mom to look after Georgi while we attended the boys show, it was touch and go on whether she would make her flight in time for us to see the show this evening but she did arrive with just minutes to spare.

"Thankyou Cathy, your amazing!" Sheriden said as she kissed her mother in law on the cheek.

"its fine, its fine, now get going or James won't ever forgive me if you miss it" she replied.

"okay, well my phone is on vibrate in my pocket if you need to contact me... Its the first time I've left her Cathy" Sheriden said getting emotional.

"Sheriden she will be fine, have fun, go and enjoy yourself" she smiled.

after a few more goodbyes we finally left the hotel, savannah was going to meet us there, she had gone with Carlos earlier.

Sheriden had in my honour booked out three rows in the venue so we could sit and not be bothered by rushers, her main concern was that I may get hurt but we had the use of 4 body guards that sat discreetly at the ends of our rows of seats which were positioned on the centre of the arena.

we reached our seats before savannah even did.

"hey you made it then!" Savannah said as she took her place.

"yeah just. I'm so excited are you?" I asked my sister.

"yeah I am, little fuckers keep hurling abuse at me though" she said looking around at the sea of young faces that had come to see big time rush.

"well just ignore them" I said not wanting her to cause a scene.

A lot of rushers had obviously noticed us, a few had asked the body guards if they could ask us for autographs but Sheriden had already explained that no one was to come near me. I think she was scared I would get attacked, I know paisley got shoved in to by one rusher when she was near her due date. Sheriden wasn't willing to risk her twins for anything.

We would however wave at the fans. I think Sheriden was enjoying this being popular thing among the rushers that had started just a few weeks ago. She was waving and smiling to loads of them. My sister didn't, savannah just glared, she was banned from doing her trade mark middle finger up to the rushers. But Sheriden failed to mention glaring to her.

The show began, the crowd went nuts, the guys sang new songs, old songs and sad songs, they had gone ahead with the ColdPlay song, Logan sang it perfectly, they had dedicated it to paisley, but Logan had spent so long practising to sing it and not cry I don't think the words hurt him so bad with it now. He had Sheriden and I in tears though.

I felt filled with pride at all four of those boys on stage. They all worked so hard to succeed and pull this show together after the really difficult year or so they had suffered.

savannah nudged me in the ribs as the current song finished "its cover girl time now" she called over the thudding music to me. She had a ridiculous grin on her face.

I smiled at her then turned to Sheriden. "Its btr stage suicide time so sav says"

"oh joy... This should be fun" Sheriden called back to me over the music.

All three of us looked up to our sweaty looking men up on the stage.

James took the lead and spoke to the fans on his Mic.

"okay who thinks they are a cover girl?" He said to the crowd.

It was a mixed response he got back. The rushers didn't believe kendalls song that everyone was a cover girl now. Not now all four boys had stunning girlfriends.

"okay okay... I thought you might say that" he grinned.

"would you like to see some cover girls that are close to our hearts?" He said as a picture of Ophelia and Georgi appeared on the big screens,

James and kendall looked and laughed at each other as the arena filled with an 'awwww' sound from the crowd.

"these two are definitely cover girls... I think we have some other cover girls close to our hearts though don't we James?" Kendall said sarcastically.

"oh what you mean this bunch?" James replied pointing up to the big screen to the new picture that had appeared of, Sheriden, me, savannah and Fran. The crowd booed, I looked at savannah who had her hands in the air making whoop whoop sounds at her own beautiful image that was on the screen.

We had the photo shoot done after our holiday. It was fun, I had never done anything like that before. We looked amazing, our hair, makeup and clothes all perfection, I'm pretty sure my baby bump had been air brushed out too, I'm sure I was bigger than that after the holiday.

I looked at savannah again, she was loving it,

"okay who hates these lovely ladies?" Logan asked the crowd.

He got a mixed response,

"they do look hot up there though Logan" Carlos replied.

The crowd began turning very sour.

"Alright well the reason we have the fearsome foursome up on the screen is just to prove a point, all of you are just as, or if not more eligible to be our cover girls..." James said then sat on the edge of the stage. "do you think your a cover girl?" He said to one girl in the front row, she obviously shook her head as james asked her why. he repeated her answer in to his mic "'you like pretty girls...'" he repeated. "What's your name?" James asked the girl, she replied and again James repeated her answer "Emily? I think your very pretty Emily... There are some nice looking rushers out there tonight." James said looking around smiling.

Kendall came over and jumped down from the of the screens showed what he was doing while the other still had our picture showing. kendall handed Emily a rose. He gave her a kiss on the cheek then threw an arm around her, the girl was smiling from ear to ear, she had dark hair and glasses probably 13 or 14, and looked up at kendall like all her dreams had come true. Carlos and Logan then sat down either side of James on the stage infront of the girl.

Kendall then spoke in to his Mic whilst moving his arm then holding Emilys hand, the music to cover girl started he then spoke to Emily through his Mic  
"These four up here Emily, they don't look like that in real life... They look like this..." Kendall said, then began singing the intro to cover girl while a terrible picture of Sheriden with no make up on came up on the big screen. Emily laughed, her little face lit up knowing that she was now more attractive than the hideous picture of a very famous supermodel that presented itself in front of her.

Sheridens mouth hung open, she only started laughing when a picture of me asleep looking like death turned up on the screen.

I heard savannah say "what the fuck" as a dreadful picture of a drunk Fran then appeared.

The highlight was savannahs picture, she had no extensions on her head, no make up and the biggest zit above her eyebrow. The crowd went wild cheering for it.

The next was of me again looking awful but showing off my pregnant belly with stretchmarks. I had just got out of bed when that was taken, I did wonder why Logan wanted a picture of me.

up next was Fran, this was taken on holiday, but her eyes were half shut and again no make up.

The next picture was of Sheriden, it was a sad one, she was sat down with her very scarred leg out on display, one hand wiping away a tear, she was drenched in sweat. As I looked at the photo I realised this must be her at physio.

The crowd actually gave her a round of applause for the picture, I don't think any one was listening to the song the boys were singing, the comedy value of these awful pictures was brilliant.

Savannah was next, in a really un lady like pose of her biting her own toe nails, totally oblivious that someone had taken the picture of her.

I looked at my sister, she did not see the funny side of it.

The next one was brilliant, it was Frans mug shot after she had been caught drink driving a few years ago, she looked like shit. The next one was sheridens mug shot, black panda eyes from her mascara.

there was a group shot of us all on holiday, that one didn't look so bad but comparing it to the photo shoot picture that had shown up first we looked like a completely different group of girls... We looked normal. The big screen then switched to a live feed of the rushers in the arena, again they went nuts as some saw them selves on the TV as a cover girl.

"oh my God that was amazing, James is hilarious to of come up with that" I shouted to Sheriden over the music.

"Sheriden just smiled shaking her head, she could see the funny side, savannah on the other hand had an arse face slapped on her and had sat down and was texting on her phone, I dread to think what night Carlos was in for from savannah now.

The rest of the show went amazingly, we went backstage after to meet up with them then down in to the underground parking lot and on to the bus.

"are we forgiven?" Kendall said as he layed eyes on the three of us,

"I actually thought it was really nice, we do look like shit a lot of the time" Sheriden said.

James gave her a hug and a kiss. "Your beautiful all the time" he whispered to her.

Savannah marched up to Carlos slapped him around the face then kissed him, "your a fucking Dick Carlos Pena" she said through kisses.

"I'm sorry, I love you savs" he said

I snuggled in to Logan on one of the large seats that ran along the side of the bus.

The others all sat with us too, it was a shame that Fran wasn't here, she was really very funny. We all chatted in to the night, one of the twins decided to try and beat me up with a good few kicks from inside me.

Logan loved it. The entire thing fascinated him.

"Logan I hope your not getting too attached to my babies in there" Sheriden said looking at him rub my belly.

he smiled at her, "I love the babies but its this that gets me" he said kissing my bump.

"he likes me fat" I declared to the group, you should see what he tries to feed me, its like some odd fetish of his" I laughed.

"its better to be turned on by it than grossed out though huh" Logan defended himself.

"I found paisleys bump so fucking sexy too" kendall said smiling, "I don't know what it is about it... Its just nice" he said reaching over and giving my belly a gentle rub.

"your all fucking freaks" savannah said with a disgusted look on her face.

"Na just you wait until you and Los have a baby" Logan said to her.

"I'm not having babies" savannah then said.

Carlos rolled his eyes at this news, my sister did like to say things that would wind people up. I really did wonder how Carlos put up with her a lot of the time.

"have you come up with any names yet guys", Carlos said to James and Sheriden, ignoring savannahs comment.

"a few, we wanted something connected to Mackenzie and Logan but I wanted them kind of... Well twinny" Sheriden said.

"well I think Logan is a brilliant name" Logan joked.

"isn't Mackenzie a boys name As well?" Carlos said.

"yeah it is" Sheriden said.

"please don't call your boys Logan and Mackenzie" I pleaded, almost laughing at the silly suggestion she had made.

She looked at James, he just shrugged.

"what about Dave, Macks is a Davies so that might work" kendall said.

"kendall I am not calling my baby Dave" she laughed.

James also got the giggles that Sheriden would even consider such an ordinary name as Dave.

That night on the bus the 7 of us enjoyed a lot of fun memories, some I wasn't even around for but I think it closed up a lot of holes that had appeared in btr. It was sad to think this would be the last few weeks it would exist. I think kendall was making the most of it, he was laughing and joking every second that night.

I hoped that paisley was listening in to this truly lovely time we all shared together.


	35. Chapter 35

**Sheridens story**

I felt like my world was collapsing, James was at my side crying his eyes out and Logan just sat in silence staring at me from across the corridor.

Mackenzie went in to premature labour last night, she was only 27 weeks pregnant, the doctors had tried giving her medication to stop it but it didn't work, she ended up getting herself in to a complete panic state with her asthma, she was now in surgery having a c section.

I was told that the survival rate for my twins was 16%. No one was allowed in to be with her. We just sat, I stared at Logan as he stared at me, James was a complete wreck. Carlos was at bel air looking after Georgi for us.

We waited well over an hour before the surgeon came out to talk to us, he sat next to Logan and held his hands together.

"I'm pleased to say that both the boys have made it, one does have severe breathing difficulties, its impossible to say what the out come will be at this stage but everyday that passes they will hopefully grow stronger. They are just about to be taken down to the neonatal intensive care, I'm afraid you won't be able to hold them, they are at high Risk of infection" he said. I squeezed James' hand.

"is Mackenzie okay?" I asked him.

"yes she is absolutely fine, very emotional, but fine." He said.

Just then a nurse came out with my baby boys in an incubator, I didn't even get a chance to see them before they were taken away to the elevator to be taken to their ward.

I started crying.

The surgeon then explained to Logan what would happen next, another nurse came out with a sympathetic smile and guided James and I to the elevator, I hugged Logan quickly before we separated company. He stayed behind to see Mackenzie.

The journey in the lift seemed to go so slow, we were then taken in to a room that had dinosaur shapes on the walls, and cute fuzzy little monsters on the privacy curtain that hung in the room.

James and I held hands so tightly as we looked at our tiny little boys that lay side by side in there incubator.

One was a bit smaller than the other. they both had little knitted hats on and oxygen tubes attached to their tiny faces leading up to their noses. They were so small, my finger was the same size as one of their arms.

"how much do they weigh?" I asked the nurse that was checking machines that the boys were attached to.

she smiled "this little guy came out first and weighed in at 2 and a 1/2lb," she said looking at the smaller of the babies "and this little chunk rolls in at 3 and a 1/4lb... They sound small but that is very good weights for babies born so early" she said soothingly.

"how long will they need those tubes?" James asked.

"the little one despite his size has better developed lungs than his brother, so he may be free of the tube in a few weeks, his brother I expect will need it until he reaches full term, they are both on medication to mature their lungs but its a waiting game now I'm afraid" she said.

"they will be in hospital for a long time then?" I asked,

"yes I would expect if all goes well and no complications arise they may be able to go home when they reach around 38 weeks" she said.

"what complications could we face?" I asked.

"once the boys are more stable they will be scanned to check for any brain damage, internal bleeding and their eye sight, preemies do tend to have retina problems but they do catch up when they grow stronger" she said

I gave James a hug and had a good cry.

"what do we do now?" James asked.

Again the nurse smiled "make yourself at home" she replied "take some pictures of the boys, you can put your hands in the holes there to touch them as long as you use the sanitary scrub over there first, they have very weak immune systems so we don't want to let them get sick when they have a long enough journey ahead of them" she said then busied herself with notes and machines.

I looked at James, he nudged me as to say go wash my hands, I didn't want to though. I was scared.

the nurse looked at us "guys I know its weird but just ignore us, you will get used to us hanging about like part of the furniture, hold your babies hands and talk to them, let them hear your voices"

I nodded and washed my hands then placed one inside the little hole that ran alongside the incubator.

I cried as I put my finger in the palm of the smallest baby.

As time ticked by and James and I spoke to our beautiful tiny boys Logan came in with Mackenzie in a wheel chair.

"hey, how are you doing" I said giving her a hug, she was crying already but cried more so now she was being spoken to.

"I'm fine... How are they?" .

"they are hanging on in there Macks, come and say hello" James said taking the back of the wheel chair and wheeling her towards the incubator.

Mackenzie cried even harder "they are tiny" she wept

"Thankyou for doing this for us Mackenzie, no matter what happens Sheriden and I will be grateful for as long as we live" James whispered to her as he kissed her on the head.

"they are beautiful" was all she replied staring wide eyed at the baby boys.

"how are you feeling Mackenzie, are you in much pain?" I asked as I pulled out of a hug with Logan.

"I'm fine, just not allowed to lift anything, have to take it easy that's all" she sniffed out. "I can't get over how small they are" she said.

I smiled at her.

"its going to be a hectic time of year for you huh" Logan said.

I smiled and thought of Georgi, it is her first birthday tomorrow,  
"lots of joint parties coming our way" I smiled.

James chuckled at the thought.

"I'm going to get some things from home for Mackenzie later, write a list out of anything you need and I will pick it up for you... Did you want me to bring Georgi up with me?" Logan asked

"yeah that would be amazing, I'm staying in with the boys, and James is going home so he can take her back, if your sure you don't?" I said back to him.

"course I don't mind, we are a team aren't we guys" he said pulling us all in for a group hug.

The afternoon went by slowly, I wasn't sure how I would cope with the next 11 weeks if every day dragged out like this. I was so impatient at the best of times, let alone when I wished my children to full health.

Logan had left about an hour ago, he returned with Georgi and a bunch of stuff for both me and Mackenzie.

I showered Georgi with kisses and wept silently as she babbled away, she was so happy, so unaware of the woes of the world.

James then took her, giving her an almighty cuddle, he walked her over to the incubator.

"Georgi I would like you to meet your little brothers" James said to her.

"here I will take a picture of all you guys" Logan said moving me gently next to James, he took the picture then showed it to me, it was nice, you could see the twins well as they were lit up in their incubator, and Georgi had a beautiful smile on her sandwiched inbetween James and I as we stood behind the boys.

"beautiful family of five" Mackenzie said as she looked at the picture.

"have you thought of any names yet?" Mackenzie then asked

"yeah we have decided on their names, I hope you like them because in a sense they are both named after you guys" I said

Both Logan and Mackenzie smiled at eachother.

"this little guy is Max" I said pointing to the smaller of the babies. "and this is Mitchell" I finished looking at the larger of the twins.

"I don't get it, how is it connected to logues and I?" Mackenzie asked,

James chuckled, so did Logan

"your Macks aren't you... For max, and my surname in the show is Mitchell... Max and Mitchell Maslow. That's cool, they are awesome names guys Thankyou" Logan said smiling.

As days and weeks did go by the twins had steps forward and steps back but they were surviving, all tests that my poor little babies had to be put through came back with good news, they were both fighting for survival and doing so well.

It looked likely that Mitchell was going to have to stay in longer because of his lung problems, but at 41 weeks both my boys were allowed home, Mitchell now weighed in at an amazing 8lb and Max was just shy of 5lb.

They were beautiful, I could see James in them so much, my boys were going to be so handsome, I wondered how many hearts they would break in their life time.

A week after they had been home we planned a party for our close friends and family, it was to celebrate 3 things. One being Georgis belated birthday party, she had missed out as the one we did have planned had to be cancelled due to the twins arriving early, the second was of course the boys being home and a good opportunity to show them off, but the big one was 4 days ago we got confirmation that Georgi was now an official maslow. I cried so hard when I spoke to Karen on the phone, she wished us love and luck with our new family, she truly was an amazing person, she said she would always send Georgi a birthday and Christmas card with a letter included, she asked if that was okay with James and I, I was over joyed that she still wanted at least a little contact with her beautiful girl.

As guests arrived and James and I greeted them in our home, our very family orientated gathering got underway, we had all of James' family, all of the Pena family, and our beautiful extended btr family.

I hadn't seen much of the other guys since the twins were born so I was determined to have a good catch up. As we spoke to guests the hours flew by.

Ophelia was walking now, she was so cute, kendall had attempted to put her hair up in bunches. She had a little fringe cut in now too, her hair was jet black just like paisleys. Fran was so good with her, she had hold of Ophelia while kendall had one of the twins.

Mackenzie had the other one, she was sat with savannah at the large patio table in our garden.

"Group meeting in a second guys" James said as our party came to an end and guests were leaving.

Once again James and kendall had reunited their friendship and once again appeared to be best friends, I guess the tour had brought them back together. It must of been nice to not have me hanging about. But it was a sight for sore eyes to see them like this again.

As we all gathered around in the garden I noticed James had a ridiculous smile on his face.

I was sat next to Mackenzie who cradled Mitchell, Georgi was sat on my lap, Carlos was sat next to me, savannah and Fran sat at the end of the large table, kendall who still had max was next to James and Logan. Ophelia was plodding around on the grass just in front of us.

"okay so Sheri and I have a gift for Mackenzie to say thank you for helping us bring these two little boys in to our lives" James said handing Mackenzie an envelope.

"guys what is this? You have honestly done enough for us" she said looking between James and I.

As promised we paid Logan and Mackenzie the 450 thousand once she signed the surrogacy contract, we had also paid them another 750 thousand dollars after the twins were born.

She had no clue about this other little surprise that James and I had for her. Logan did though.

Mackenzie passed Mitchell to Logan who was on the other side of her so she could open the envelope.

"what is it?" She said nervously

"just open it Macks" Logan said smiling

Mackenzie opened up the envelope, she read through the huge amount of paper work before realising what it was

She screamed in joy "oh my God... How did you get it?" She finally said reading through the papers again.

"the old fashioned way... Waved money in his face" James replied.

"oh my... I honestly don't know what to say... Thank you so much" she said.

"what is it?" Savannah asked.

"its my salon, its red cherries, I have it back!" She screamed out.

"wow that's cool Kenzie, you loved that place" she replied.

"we actually have a little something for you too savannah, without you we wouldn't have Georgi, so I would like to offer you this" I said handing her an envelope.

She opened it up, it was another contract for her to sign with me but had been revised that she did have a but more freedom to do things she wanted plus the opportunity to be on my judging panel for my show that would start filming soon.

"are you fucking kidding me... You want me on the panel? Jesus Christ, that's amazing" she beamed.

"so you want to sign your life away with me again?" I asked her.

"course I fucking do, who else is gonna keep my feet on the ground huh" she said then got up and gave me a hug.

"thanks shoo, it means a lot to both of us" Carlos said.

"your welcome," I replied.

"so is that all the mushy stuff done with now, can we get on with having a few drinks and get all these kids to bed" Logan said

"sorry logues... I have a little envelope for each of you," kendall said handing out envelopes that had been sat in front of him, to Logan and Carlos, James already had his so I presume he was in on what ever was about to be said

The boys opened up their envelopes and read what was printed.

"shit are you serious?" Carlos said as he smiled so hard, I thought he might cry.

"yep 100%, James and I got talking and we discovered that we have a load more ideas that would only work if we were together" kendall replied.

"have you signed yours?" Logan asked.

Both kendall and James nodded

"this is amazing, I'm in... Get me a pen" Logan said

again it was savannah that asked what it was, if it wasn't obvious enough

"its a contract for a 5th season of the show and a 4th album as a group" James replied to her.

"so big time rush aren't calling it a day?" I said smiling at James.

"nope not just yet, after the tour we realised that the love we have for the band was bigger than the rift we had between us" he said now giving kendall a pat on the back.

"we are hoping that you don't cause any trouble this time round Sheriden... A peaceful life would be nice" kendall joked.

I raised my eyebrow at him. There was no way I was going to mess anything up now, everything was perfect!

The end.


End file.
